Chapter 15

Jasmine

Emily railroaded me into staying overnight, but she did it so graciously I didn’t mind. Carina told me to use her bedroom and her clothes. Her son was adorable with Bella. He was so careful with her while they played together. Emily showed me all their pictures on the farm. She had a video of Bella running through the chicken coops. They are such a lovely family. Bella fell asleep on the sofa after dinner. Carina, Lucas, Connor and Carter all left shortly after dinner.

Today has been the first time I have laughed freely and not felt any guilt. I never realised how miserable I had been. No matter how hard I tried to hide it from Bella, she will pick up on my depressive outlook. I need to make more of an effort to take her out.

I sigh heavily and sit on the edge of the bed. This trip has been enlightening in many ways.I think about Christian. He wants more with me, but am I ready? I look down at my empty finger. Reese was the only man I had been with. If I compare the two of them, they are like day and night.

I lie down and switch the light off. Bella is next door and I’ve left the door open in case she wakes up and forgets where we are.I put my meditation sleep app on. The last thing I wanted to do was take up the doctor’s offer of sleeping or anti-depression medication with Mavis after us like a bloodhound.

I wake up with a start. Bella. No. I blink in the darkness, trying to make sense of it. Someone is in bed with me.I open my mouth to let out a scream.

“It’s only me. I didn’t want to sleep across the hall.”

Christian.

“So you thought it was okay to sneak into my bedroom?” I said incredulously. His response was to pull me closer to him.

I push my hands against his chest.

“Yes. I never had time to speak to you last night. I want you Jasmine. You and Bella.”

My sleep addled brain is trying to comprehend what he is saying.

“We aren’t possessions.” I finally snap back at him.

“No, you’re not. But you are both mine.”

“No, I can’t…I-I just can’t.” I stutter, but I feel my heart wrench in pain. Pain I never want to feel again. Christian is nothing like Reese. My instinct tells me he could tear me apart in ways that I would never recover from.

His hand strokes my cheek before he wipes my tears away.

“Just let me look after you, please?” He asks softly.

I put my arm around his neck and cry softly into his chest. I’m past caring. I just want to hold on to him. I feel his arm tighten around my waist as his other hand strokes the back of my head. He is silent, but I can feel his strength all around me and I don’t feel so alone anymore.

I feel my eyes flutter before closing in exhaustion.