Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

The nightmare was more vivid on this night. Reuben knew he was dreaming. He just couldn't wake himself up. This time, he was stuck in the middle of a cemetery, and instead of a cloaked figure, he was being pursued by a wolf. The wolf was so white that it stood out in sharp contrast to the heavy darkness around them. Reuben could barely make out the tombstones or the freshly dug graves that formed straight lines in the cemetery. Not a single body had been put in any of the new graves yet. He had the sinking feeling that all of them were meant for him.

The wolf didn't run after him. At least, not at first. At first, it wound its way around the graves as if it had all the patience in the world. Reuben wasn't about to let the thing get close to him, so he put as much distance between himself and the wolf as he could. The cemetery seemed to have no end to it. In the dreamworld, things had a way of spanning into eternity. This wasn't the first time he was stuck in a never-ending series of objects around him. He wasn't sure if he'd ever been in a cemetery before. He recalled running in forests, hallways, and even in the stars above. But he thought this might be his first cemetery dream. And something about the newness of his environment alarmed him.

The wolf went behind a tombstone a good ways off from him. He waited for it to emerge on the other side of the tombstone, but it didn't. He stopped walking and studied the tombstone. Did it move? Sometimes objects in his dreams began to move.

A glimmer of light came from his left. His gaze went to it. The wolf was making its way around a tombstone that was closer to him. He held his breath. The wolf could disappear from one place and appear in another? That would make it harder to avoid. Since the cemetery rows of open graves had no end, that gave the wolf the advantage. Reuben was helpless.

No, he couldn't think that way. He had to fight. He couldn't give up. Even if things seemed impossible, he had to try. This was a dream. That meant he was in control of his environment. He just needed to take that control.

There had to be a way out of here. He focused on the rows of graves around him and willed an exit to appear. A low growl came from a nearby tombstone. He jerked and saw the wolf appear three tombstones from him. He almost slipped and fell into the grave next to him.

You have to fight. You need to gain control. This is a dream. It's not real. You can do this.

A tall gate formed in a large rectangle around him, and to his right, an arched doorway appeared. It was the exit of the cemetery!

He bolted for the opening that would allow him to escape. The wolf howled and pursued him in earnest. The rows of graves began to move around him. He dodged one open grave and another as it popped up in front of him. One time, he fell on the ground and slid partway into the grave. He had to dig into the soft grass nearby to pull himself out of the hole. Then he was making his way toward the exit once more.

The way time elapsed in dreams made the pursuit seem longer than it needed to be. In reality, he should reach the opening in the gate within fifteen minutes, but he was certain he had been running for a couple of hours in dreamtime by the time he got near the exit. The wolf, though always close behind, hadn't caught up to him yet, and that struck him as odd. If this was real, it would have already caught him. Or, perhaps, in the dream, the wolf's goal wasn't to kill him. Maybe the goal was to control him. Maybe it was trying to keep him in the cemetery. Just as the thought came to mind, the wolf appeared in front of the gate and growled at him.

It can't hurt you. It's just a dream.

But even though Reuben told himself this, he stumbled backward and fell into an open grave.

He woke with a start before he hit the ground.

It took Reuben a full minute to realize he was in bed. Though he was no longer in that horrible cemetery, his feet pulsed with the need to run. He looked over at Amelia, who was blissfully asleep. How he envied her. She never had nightmares.

He got out of bed and slipped on his robe. He went to the pitcher and poured water into the washbasin. He washed his face then patted it with a dry towel. It took a couple of minutes before his heart rate returned to normal.

He thought he might be able to go back to bed when he became aware of the dull ache in his stomach. He stayed by the washbasin. Was this going to be one of those nights when he would spend half of it awake as he waited for his stomach to return to normal? It'd been so long since he'd dealt with this that he had forgotten how long these particular nights were.

He thought over everything he'd eaten that day. There wasn't anything that should have upset his stomach. Cook was always good about watching to make sure he didn't put anything sensitive in his food. And Reuben was careful to stick with soothing drinks.

He released his breath. Even knowing he hadn't had anything that should upset his stomach didn't help. The ache was growing worse. If he laid back down, it would continue on longer. The best thing he could do was sit by the open window.

So as not to wake Amelia, he went to the small room off to the side of the bedchamber and shut the door. Then he opened the window. The cool air wafted into the room. He removed his robe and let the breeze move over his hot skin. He didn't know why, but allowing his body to cool seemed to help in the past, and, fortunately, it was helping now. He sat in the rocking chair and closed his eyes. He concentrated on the insects' noise from outside and the feel of the air as it moved around the room. He took a deep breath, held it, then slowly released it. He repeated this cycle for quite some time. These nights were always difficult to get through, but if he could just cool down, then he would get through it faster.

He had no way of knowing how long he stayed in the chair. Just keeping his eyes closed. Breathing in and breathing out. Letting his mind focus on the insects outside. But finally, mercifully, his body cooled to the point where he was beginning to shiver, and after that, his stomach felt much better. He waited, though. It was too soon to go back to bed. He would have to wait until he was unbearably cold before he could leave the room.Since he could manage it, he began to rock back and forth in the chair. He counted each time he rocked. There was always something comforting in counting. Finally, the pain in his stomach was gone. Teeth chattering, he got up from the chair and slipped the robe back on.

He waited for a few more minutes, just to make sure the ache in his stomach wouldn't come back. He stood at the window and took in the calm of the night sky. If only all of his dreams were like this. He closed the window, removed his robe, and returned to bed. Shivering, he pulled the blankets around him and closed his eyes. From the end of the hallway, he heard the clock chime three in the morning. So he had probably been up for a good two hours. That was about right on nights like this. Thankfully, it was over. Soon, it would be dawn. He liked dawn best. It meant the end of the horrible night. Tomorrow morning, he would just have a piece of plain bread to eat. Then he'd be careful about what he had for the rest of the day.

***

Amelia gave an uneasy glance across the table at Reuben as they ate in the dining room. "Are you sure you don't want more than a slice of toasted bread?"

Reuben shook his head. "This is fine. I'm not hungry."

She bit her lower lip. It seemed to her that since Corin had shown up yesterday, Reuben wasn't acting like his usual self. She glanced at the doorway. Corin hadn't come to breakfast. She wasn't sure when he'd come downstairs, but, for the moment, they were still alone.

"Is something wrong?" she asked Reuben in a low voice.

"I had a nightmare last night," Reuben replied. "It kept me up for a while."

Was that all? He'd had nightmares before, but she didn't recall it affecting his appetite. "What was the nightmare about?"

"A wolf and a cemetery." He shook his head. "It was like any other nightmare. I was being chased."

She frowned. "You're chased in all of your nightmares?"

He nodded and tore off a piece of bread. "That's what makes them nightmares. There's always something pursuing me."

"And you always remember them?"

"Yes, and I remember last night's. The wolf was all white that it shone as brightly as a full moon in the dark cemetery. I had to focus in order to create an escape, but before I could get to it, I fell into an open grave." He shuddered. "I don't want to think about it." He put the piece of bread in his mouth and slowly chewed it.

She glanced down at her plate and realized she had eaten almost everything while he had only made it halfway into the single slice of bread he'd taken from the food offered on the table. She couldn't be sure, but it seemed like he was making himself eat.

"You don't have to eat if you don't want to," she softly told him.

"No, I need to eat now. If I don't, it'll be harder to eat later."

"What will happen if you don't eat?"

"Well, I could vomit. Don't worry. What I deal with isn't contagious. It's something I've been dealing with ever since I was a child."

"I wasn't worried about getting sick." She set down her fork, got up, and went over to him so she could sit next to him. "Reuben," she put her hand on his back and leaned into him, "I hate that you're going through this. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

He set the remaining piece of bread down and brought her into his arms. "It won't last long. It's usually over in a couple of days."

"A couple of days?" That seemed like a long time to her.

"Sometimes it doesn't even last that long. If I'm careful about what I eat and am consistent with my eating schedule, I can get over it quicker."

"I don't understand. How could a nightmare cause this?"

"The doctor says it's the emotional turmoil from the nightmares that cause it. I can't control the nightmares. They just come."

Sensing his frustration, she hurried to assure him, "I know you can't control them. None of us can control what we dream about."

"Last night was the third one I've had since we married."

She blinked in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me about them?" She only knew of the one he'd had right after they married and the one he'd had last night.

"I didn't want to bother you with it."

"Reuben, you can come to me about these things. You're not alone in this. I'm your wife. We made a vow to share the good and the bad with each other for as long as we lived. Remember?"

He smiled. "I remember. The day we married was the best day of my life."

She returned his smile. "It was the best day of my life, too."

"You don't regret it even a little bit?"

Glad to detect that teasing tone in his voice that let her know he was feeling much better, she chuckled. "Not even a little bit. I am forever and always devoted to you."

"I like that."

"Good because I'm not going anywhere."

He brought his mouth to hers, and she got lost in his kiss. The world, and all the worries that went with it, faded from her mind. Reuben was all right. She didn't have to worry about him. These nightmares, though terrifying, might affect his appetite, but this was something they could get through. And they would. Together.

When the kiss ended, she asked, "Would it help you if we took a walk outside? We can even go to the lake and fish. By the time we're done getting ready to go out, your brother might be up. He could join us."

"No, I would rather it just be you and me."

She blinked. She couldn't be sure, but she detected a slight panic in his voice.

"Corin should relax," he continued. "As you know, it's a long way from London to here. We have plenty of time to talk to him later. The day is still young."

"You're right. I'm sure he would rather take it easy this morning, especially with everything happening with his wife."

"He probably won't be up until this afternoon." He hurried to finish the slice of toasted bread then stood up. "Come. We don't need to fish. Just the walk and sitting by the lake will be good."

Surprised, she got up from the chair and joined him in getting ready for the outing. It was as if everything had suddenly switched. He'd been taking things slowly. He had taken longer to get dressed than usual, and he'd been in no hurry to eat his toast. Now he was eager to get outside. She would have questioned him about it except that she was glad he was looking better. Maybe he just needed the idea of going outside to perk him up. There was nothing like a bright, sunny day to ward off the remnants of a bad dream.