Chapter 9

Emilia

I don't know what I expected but I can't lie, when Liam said we were friends my heart sank a little bit. I guess part of me hoped this could have been a date or lead to one but after seeing the way Vanessa and I'm sure countless other girls look at him, friends is probably the safest bet. We finish up our dinner, which Liam insists on paying for and as we head out the door to his car Vanessa stops him and thanks him for the tip all the while holding onto his arm. I can't help the eye roll at her actions. Liam doesn't notice the eye roll but Vanessa catches onto it and winks at me after he turns away to open the front door for us. Liam opens the passenger side door, because of course he's a gentleman, letting me climb in and then shutting it behind me.

"I can direct you to my apartment." He climbs behind the wheel, pushing the start button.

"No need, I remember from last time." He smiles at me. That damn dimpled smile. The drive from the burger place to my apartment is only about ten minutes but it's been a silent ride minus the radio playing in the background. I've been staring out the window, getting lost in my thoughts, like why do I care so much that Liam basically friend-zoned me? When we pull up to my apartment, he pulls into a visitor parking spot and puts the car in park.

"Is something wrong?" With that I look at Liam who has turned to me, concern written on his face.

"Nope." I say, popping the p. "Nothings wrong." I try my best to give him a genuine smile.

"Can I walk you in?" His eyes are still full of questions like he didn't believe that answer but he's letting it slide anyways.

"Yeah, sure." Damn him for being a gentleman. It would be so much easier to friend-zone him as well if he was just like any other college guy, content with a text that I'm safe or not caring at all. Not that that's been my experience as the only guy I hang out with on campus is Garrett and he always makes sure we're safe but based off the guys Rosie has dated in the past it seems like most of them don't care much at all.

We walk to the main door of the building which I unlock with a key fob and when Liam follows me in I realize he meant all the way to my door because, well, of course he did. We quickly arrive at my front door. After I unlock the door I turn to look at Liam with all intentions of saying good night.

"Do you want to come in?"

"Yes."

When I turned around and my eyes caught onto Liam's I just wasn't ready to say good night yet. If he only wants to be friends then so what? We can be friends. It's better for me anyways to just have friends with my schedule, my goals in life and after our past two interactions he seems like he might just be the greatest friend out there.

I lead Liam into our home, the door opens into a small hallway which opens up into the kitchen and our living room immediately after that. Our living room is what is best described as cozy. Colorful throws piled in the basket and thrown on the couch. Fairy lights strung behind the tv to make the space feel more inviting.

He follows me in taking in the space, looking at the photos of me and Rosie we have on the bookshelf. He picks up one from our freshmen year, we're sitting on one of the small twin beds in our dorm with a blanket wrapped around us, he smiles and carefully places it back down, his big hands looking like they could snap the frame in half easily. I gulp, I should not be thinking about my friend"s big hands that connect to his veiny forearms, nope definitely not thinking about that.

"Um." I clear my throat, "my room is right here." I walk to the left side of the apartment through the door that leads into my room. Against the farthest wall is my full-size bed, decorated with white sheets and a pastel purple comforter. There's one night stand on the right side of the bed. In the corner by the windows on the back wall is my small desk that doubles as a vanity.

I sit on the edge of my bed as Liam looks around, when my eyes go wide as I notice the paper I left on my desk. The college bucket list. The one I've never let anyone, not even Rosie see. Liam is looking at the few photos I framed around my desk and without thinking I bolt over trying to get that stupid bucket list before he can see it but his hand lands right on it before my own slams down on his.

"What is this?" He smirks, my hand feels warm from the touch of his below mine, but I don't move it in fear of him seeing what's beneath.

"It's nothing." I try to sound like it's not a big deal, shaking my head.

"Emilia."

"Emi." I interject.

"Huh?"

"You keep calling me Emilia but if we're friends then you should call me Emi or Em. That's what my friends call me." My attempt to stall him and get his focus anywhere but this stupid piece of paper.

"Okay." He smiles. "Emi." I almost melt at the sound of his voice saying that, maybe telling him my nickname was a bad idea.

"If we're friends why can't I see this list?" My eyes widen as he says that and he notices. "I didn't see what was on it but I saw the words ‘bucket list'. If you really don't want me to see it's fine."

"No, I… you can look." I remove my hand from his, those damn green eyes feel like they can see right through me and have me letting my guard down once again. "No one's ever seen it. It's just some silly list I made in high school." Liam removes his hand from the paper so we can both look at my desk, the soft glow of the lamp in my room making the words on the paper just legible enough and hopefully hiding the deep color I know is staining my cheeks.

COLLEGE BUCKET LIST

1.) Decorate your room the way I like

2.) Go to a party

3.) Go to homecoming

4.) Go to a bar

5.) Go on a date

6.) Kiss someone

7.) Fall in love.

The first two items are crossed off. The first one, decorate your room the way I like has been crossed off since freshman year. Where it was the only one that remained crossed off until the first night I met Liam.

Liam clears his throat. "Decorate your room the way you like?"

"Oh, that's the one you have questions about?" I can't help the laugh that escapes me. Of course he would try to be nice and not ask about some other things on that list.

"I have questions about the others too, but let's start there." I move over to sit on the edge of my bed, grabbing my emotional support stuffed animal, a light purple elephant named Ellie, Liam sits beside me.

"I just wasn't able to do that growing up." I shrug. "My mom…" I trail off not sure I'm ready for Liam to know about all this, but looking into his eyes I only see kindness that has me wanting to open up to him. "My mom is an alcoholic. She wasn't always the best mom, I mean she tried for a while but we moved around a lot. Living with my grandparents where I shared a room with her. Eventually I had my own room in the apartment she rented but we didn't have a lot of money so I just had old hand me down comforters and stuff." I shrug, Liam's eyes never leave me. "So, I've always wanted to decorate my own space."

"Emi." Liam"s hand meets my thigh, where he gives me a reassuring squeeze.

"No, nope. I don't need pity." I shake my head, exhaling.

"So this is your style?" He motions around my room.

"More or less." I shrug. "Purple is my favorite color, I love flowers, specifically tulips, and books."

He nods, probably taking in the whole thing I've just dumped on him.

"I can help you."

"What?"

"With the rest of the list."

"You don't have to."

"No, I want to. We're friends, right? So let me help you." My heartbeat quickens looking at the list, is he volunteering to fall in love with me right now? Okay, that's a crazy thought but imagine? He clears his throat, "I mean I can take you to a bar, help you find a date."

"That would be great." I can't help but feel a little hopeful that my senior year will be full of more normal college things.