Chapter 40

Liam

It's been just over a week since our first game of the season. We had a weekend series following the first game, winning two out of the three games. We had a shorter series this weekend only having games on Friday and Saturday, which left Sunday open for me to head home and talk to my mom.

The past two weeks I've felt freer than ever, knowing I can and will do something with my life outside of baseball but I've also been nervous to break the news to the rest of my family. Ryan's known something is up but thankfully hasn't pried too much. Though I did hear him asking Emi one night what we talked about before the first game, she responded by pretending to zip her lips closed and throw away the key. It feels good to know she has my back no matter what.

Ryan, Emi and I have made the drive to my parents' house today. I told my mom I had something I wanted to talk about and she offered to host a nice family dinner, telling me I better bring Emilia with me. We pull up to the house, I throw the car in park and Ryan hops out without question, heading towards the front door. I, however, feel frozen to my spot, wiping my sweaty hands on my pants.

Emi sits with me, grabbing my hand and threading her fingers through mine. "It's going to be okay." All I can do is nod because I know that, logically, but my mind has been in a tailspin all day.

"I don't want mom to feel like I'm failing dad." It comes out as a whisper.

"Liam. She loves you so much. She just wants you to be happy." I nod again at her words. I know that she wants me to be happy, it just feels like when I tell her it'll all be real and that's scary. Changing directions from a dream you've been pursuing since you were four years old. "I love you."

Those magic words pull the edges of my lips up. "I love you more."

When we get inside Dean is walking through the sliding door, with the steaks from the grill, even when it's freezing outside he will always insist on cooking them on the grill because they ‘just taste better'. Which he's right about but we all like to make fun of him when he shovels off a spot on the patio to just make dinner.

"I'm so glad you're here." Mom pulls us both in for hugs. The timer goes off, pulling her attention back to the oven where she pulls out a pan of roasted potatoes. Emilia squeezes her hand in mine, reassuring me that she's not going anywhere and then she guides us towards the table. She looks so comfortable here even though it's only her second visit and I love that.

"Dinner's ready!" Dean calls out to the two missing members of the party. One thing I've always appreciated about Dean is he never yells or gets angry. He's very collected, firm when needed but his energy matches my mom's immaculately. Ryan and Eliza waltz into the kitchen, Eli immediately going to hug my girlfriend totally by passing me.

"Wow, El. Ouch." I mock hurt at her actions.

"Sorry, your girlfriend's just so much cooler than you."

"Can't argue with that Li." Ryan mocks me and everyone laughs. I'm grateful for the light heartedness of the evening. Everyone takes their seats, piling the sides onto their plates. The first few minutes after we sit down all you can hear is the metal of the knives and forks making contact with the plate.

"So Em. How's school and your internship?" Mom asks, though I feel she already knows, I swear they text and talk more than I talk to my mom.

"It's great! I've learned so much already and I should be hearing back from graduate programs soon so that's exciting but also terrifying." She lets out a short laugh. The past few weeks she's been subtly freaking out about being accepted, I've seen her resume and transcript though and she has no reason to freak out. Any program would be beyond lucky to have her.

"Oh that's so exciting!" Mom exclaims, "I just know you'll get into all of the one's you applied for."

"Are you planning on staying in the area or continuing at Watertown?" It's Dean who asks.

"Watertown doesn't have the right program sadly, but I am hoping to stay around the area. I've applied to a few schools in Boston and a few in other surrounding states just in case."

"Hopefully you get drafted to Boston, Liam." Ryan throws out the statement, giving me a subtle smirk like he knows exactly what he's doing.

"Actually about that." Three heads whip around towards me, Emilia places her hand on my thigh just the slightest touch helps calm my nerves. "I think I'm going to exit the draft."

"Honey… what?" My mom asks quietly, shock coloring her face.

"I know it's been my dream for, well forever but it hasn't felt right the past year or so. I just pretended it was right, I wanted to make you proud, to make dad proud and fulfill my promise to him." I let out a big breath, it feels both amazing and terrifying telling my family this. "My true passion is helping athletes. I want to be an athletic trainer, go to graduate school next year."

Everyone's quiet for a moment, I keep my head down, turning Emilia's hand over in my lap and drawing designs on her palm to keep my mind from spiraling.

"Oh Liam." My mom's voice sounds shaky causing me to look up to her. "I am so proud of you. All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy." Pushing back her chair she heads over to me, I push back mine standing to meet her. She engulfs me in one of her famous hugs, ones that made everything better growing up and have the same effect today. We embrace for a few moments before we return to our seats. "You know how I always called you my little helper?"

"Yeah." I nod, after dad died she always called me her little helper.

"Your dad said it first. When he was sick he said to me ‘Ann, that boy's going to help lots of people one day, you just wait and see.' Your dad would be so proud." My eyes go glossy, silent tears escaping, ones I don't bother wiping away. It feels so good to know he saw something in me, something besides baseball. The room is silent for a few minutes, everyone turning their attention back to their food.

"Well," Eliza places her fork on her plate. "While everyone is spilling their secrets, I have something to share." Mom and Dean look at her puzzled while Ryan and I's eyes both go wide. Emilia's hand finds mine under the table holding on for dear life, I think she knows exactly what Eli's going to say. "I'm transferring to Watertown in the fall and yes, I will be living there."