Chapter 38

Emilia

When Liam walked through my doors something seemed off, I just can't put my finger on exactly what. He only visited for a few minutes but his energy was different than usual at the time, maybe it's the pressure of the first game of the season? I was blessed with an almost real smile when he gave me one of his jerseys to wear tonight. I love it. I love him. I wanted to say it especially after he said his last name looked good on me but it just didn't feel like the right moment.

I'm waiting just outside the front doors of my apartment as his whole family, minus Ryan who's meeting us there, pulls up. Ann rolls down her window from the passenger side, to wave to me. "Hi, honey," she calls as Eli rolls down the back window. "Hi, Emi! You can get on this side I'll scoot over." I smile at the women, climbing in the passenger side of the back. "Hi Emilia." Dean turns around, greeting me from his position as driver.

"Hi everyone. It's good to see you again."

"You too, Em. We've missed you." Ann turns in her seat to give me her warm smile.

"Oh my gosh, he gave you a jersey! That's so cute." Eliza squeals looking at my outfit. I can't help but laugh, Liam said she's a hopeless romantic and I can definitely see that. Dean drives us ten minutes to the other side of campus where the baseball field is, near all the other athletic fields and buildings. Eliza tells me about her semester so far and the new bakes she's been working on and I fill her in on my internship. Eli is quickly turning into a best friend, we get along so well. When we arrive, Eliza loops her arm through mine and we head towards the entrance of the stadium.

Ryan waves to us as we walk up, he's waiting outside with Garrett, they have a rare Friday night off from hockey, instead heading up north for a game tomorrow. "Hey mom, dad." Ryan hugs his parents who are slightly ahead of us. Eli abruptly stops walking, causing me to jolt in my tracks.

"What?" I look at her confused.

"Who is that?" She whispers to me. I follow her gaze and smirk when I see her hazel eyes pointed right at Garrett.

"That's Garrett. He's on the hockey team with Ryan."

"He's so hot." She fans herself. Garrett is definitely an attractive guy, with dark brown hair, chocolate eyes and a trimmed beard that makes all the girls at campus fawn over him. However, Garrett doesn't believe in love for himself. Like me, he didn't have the best upbringing and for some of us that makes us driven to find true love and for others it makes us run away from it.

"Don't let your brother hear you say that." She smirks at me, knowing her brothers would lock her away if she looked at one of their friends like that.

"Hey Eli." Ryan moves to us, swooping her off her feet into a big bear hug. "Missed you." I move out of the way for the sibling reunion.

"Hey Gar. How was practice?"

"Good. Same old." He takes in the jersey I'm wearing. "Things are still going good with Liam I see." He smiles at me.

"Yes they are." I smile back.

"I'm happy for you." He pulls me into a side hug. I'm thankful for Garrett, one of the only guys in my life I trusted before I met Liam. He's been there for me since he came to campus my sophomore year, despite him not being the most open person or wanting a million friends when he heard my story we just connected.

Ryan has one arm slung around Eli's shoulder and slings the other around mine. "Alright, who's ready to watch some ball?"

Sitting in the stand, surrounded by Liam"s family is a feeling I'm not even sure how to describe. I feel welcome, like I belong here. It's the same feeling I got when Rosie and I became friends, like she just belonged in my life and I feel the same way about him and his family.

We got to the field pretty early, catching the last glimpses of the Bears" warmups, but Liam wasn't anywhere to be found. My heart sinks a little not spotting him on the field and there's this ache in my chest, something feels off. He should be out there right? The Bears' retreat back to the locker room as the seats in the stadium fill in. Families and students showing up for the first game of the season.

My legs bounce anxiously, waiting to see my favorite first baseman. In my pocket my phone vibrates, I expect to see a text from Rosie who should be here any minute, she was wrapping up a studio session. Instead, I see his name flash across my screen. My heart rate picks up as I swipe on the message revealing three little words.

Liam

I need you.

I shoot up to my feet, trying to figure out the best way out of here. I'm in the middle of an aisle and either way I'll have to make my way past a group of people. I don't even know how to get to wherever he is.

"What's wrong?" Ryan is the first person to notice my frantic state. His question is filled with concern as he stands up to meet me. I show him the text, unable to form words. He reads the screen, nodding continuously. "Let's go." He grabs my hand to drag me down the stairs.

"What's going on?" Eliza looks between her brother and me at the same time Ann asks, "Is everything alright."

"Everything's fine." Ryan"s voice is calm and even. "Liam just wants to see Emilia." I don't know how he sounds so sure and relaxed. My brain is going a million miles a minute and I can't even form a complete thought. Ryan guides me down the stairs and through underneath the stands towards the tunnel that leads to the main building.

"Emi. It's okay. He's fine."

"How do you know?" The words are barely a whisper.

"I just do. I've known something is off with him for a while. I know you've noticed it too but I think maybe, he's finally ready to talk about it." Taking in his words, I nod. I knew there was something going on with him earlier and in general recently. Whenever he talks about baseball it feels like there's this pressure over him. We make it through the tunnel and into the main building. I'm not sure where to go from here but as soon as we pass a room, I hear the door open and I whip my head around to see my handsome green-eyed man staring back at me. Though, the red around his eyes and pale skin sends me on high alert. I run to him, desperate to lay my hands on him.

"You're okay?" I search his body for the answers.

"I'm okay." He stops my frantic searching by gently grabbing both sides of my face, forcing me to look at his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I just needed to see you." He looks past my shoulder to Ryan. "Thank you for bringing her."

"Anytime. I'll wait to bring you back. Take your time." Liam nods in appreciation to his brother before grabbing my hand and leading me into the room he was just occupying. The room is filled with workout equipment. From yoga balls to stretch bands to light dumbbells. There's also a few exam benches separated by flimsy partitions. Liam heads to one of the benches, sitting down I follow behind him, our hands still locked together.

"This is a training room." He states simply, I wait for him to continue, I know he didn't bring me here to just show me this room. "I had a panic attack." My jaw unhinges and my heart breaks. I've had a few in my life and they are not fun, especially when you're alone.

"Liam."

"I'm okay." He rubs circles on my wrist with his thumb. "I've been feeling weird about baseball for the past year." He lets out a big sigh, I know this is something he's never given voice to before. "I've always been so determined to get to the major league and it's so close I can almost taste it. For the past few months I've been reminding myself why I'm doing this. Who I'm doing this for. It just hasn't been enough I guess. Then today, Coach Russo was talking about scouts and I just freaked out internally. It's like my body knew this isn't what"s right for me before my brain could even admit it." He pauses, watching his thumb continues to rub circles on my wrist until he brings up his gaze, his eyes looking into mine.

"I don't want to play in the majors anymore, Emi. I want to be an athletic trainer. I love helping people, helping athletes, it's my passion. You've inspired me, you know? Seeing how you light up after your internship. I want that. I wanted to feel that and I've realized I do. When I'm helping."

"Oh Liam." I stand, placing both my hands in his, we're closer to eye level like this and I want to be able to look at him and make sure he truly hears me. "Your dad would be so proud of you."

"You don't…" He starts but I shake my head, cutting him off.

"I may not have met him but I do know him, through you, through the stories you've share and through your actions. You're an amazing man Liam and he would be so proud of you for following your dreams." I earn a small smile from him and I can only hope he truly hears what I'm saying.

"Emi I... I love you." My eyes widen at the statement and my face breaks into a full-on cheesy grin. Hearing those three words from him means everything to me.

"I love you too." His pupils dilate and he's on his feet in seconds.

"You do?"

"I do."

He picks me up, locking his hands underneath my thighs and kissing me passionately. There's a quick knock that has us both looking to the door. Ryan pops his head in. "I know I said take your time but I think your coach is going to lose it if you don't get in there soon." He hikes his thumb over his shoulder to the locker room. A giggle escapes me and Liam shakes his head.

"I should probably go."

"Probably." I place another kiss on his lips before he sets me down. Then we walk hand in hand to the door Ryan has disappeared back behind.

"You know I've never been to a baseball game before?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. So maybe you can win this one for me?"

"Always." He winks before heading into the locker room.