Chapter 30

Emilia

Liam asked me to come home with him for Christmas. Oh my gosh. I'm trying really hard to not read into that but it can't mean nothing, right? Meeting his parents is a big step and he said his mom wanted me to come, who does she think I am to him? Oh gosh what is Rosie going to think? Is she going to be pissed at me for not going home with her even though she offered? To be fair, that"s before I knew Nico's was shutting down for ten days. Since it's a family restaurant the owners want to take time off to celebrate the holidays and new year together.

All these thoughts run through my mind while I shower off the day after my date with Liam. I wonder if he refers to them as dates in his head? To me they've been dates, platonic I guess, but dates nonetheless. After I shower I throw on a pajama set, topped with Liam's hoodie and head to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I need to relax right now and not let these thoughts in my head overwhelm me. As I'm finishing making my cup of tea, with a light drizzle of honey, Rosie finally comes home from her day.

"Hey Em. How was your day?" Rosie asks, toeing off her shoes, shedding her jacket and heading into the kitchen, next to me. Hmm, what's the best way to approach this topic?

"Liam asked me to come home with him for Christmas." The words tumbling out of my mouth before I can even think twice. Rosie stares at me in disbelief. "And I said yes." That's when her eyes bug and her jaw drops.

"I'm going to need you to make another cup of tea and I need a couch debrief in five minutes. Okay?" I simply nod as Rosie heads to her room, probably to change into comfy clothes and absorb the information I just dropped in her lap. Grabbing another mug and tea bag, I make Rosie's tea with extra honey.

As I finish steeping her tea, she emerges from her room in a comfy set of pajamas, just as I had guessed. She plops down on the couch, burying herself under one of our fuzzy Christmas throws and I do the same after handing her a cup of tea.

"So," Rosie takes a long sip of her tea. "You're going home with Liam for Christmas?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Ro. I don't want you to be mad since I said no to you. I just found out Nico's is closing for a bit for the holidays. I can come home with you instead, I just need to come back around the third so I can get back to work when they open." The words fly out of my mouth again.

"Woah. Emi. Slow down." She shakes her head. "I'm not mad at you, actually, I think this is amazing."

"You do?" I quirk one of my eyebrows.

"Um, yes. Have you seen the way he looks at you?"

"Ummm, what?" I take a long sip of my tea, letting the hot liquid warm my throat.

"C'mon Em. Don't play dumb with me."

"Fine." Sighing, I drag my eyes from my cup over to look at Rosie. She hates it when people can't look her in the eye. "I feel like there"s a possibility he could see us as more."

"I'm telling you he does." Rosie declares like it's fact. "You saw that picture from homecoming, right? That man looks at you with stars in his eyes."

"I like him a lot, Ro." I can't help the small smile that spreads across my lips when I think about him. I've only known him for seven months and we've only really been friends for just over three but I can't help but feel like he really knows me. Not a lot of people do, Rosie is one of the few who knows me deep down. Knows my family history, knows why I'm guarded.

"This is so exciting! I've never seen you actually like a guy."

"Hey, I went out with James." We both outwardly cringe as the words come out of my mouth.

"You went out with him, yes, but you didn't really like him. You liked him in a friendly way but you were never going to let him in the way you have Liam."

"Yeah you're right. I don't know why it's so easy to let Liam in. It's terrifying and exciting all at once."

"I know you're scared but I think you should lean into it. Lean into the excitement. I mean he's a great guy, he's got the Rosie stamp of approval." She giggles at the last part.

"Even though you hate his brother?" I'm definitely probing here, Ryan is a topic Rosie avoids like the plague but maybe tonight she'll be inclined to give me a little more information.

"I don't hate him. He's just… infuriating." She shrugs. "Besides they are stepbrothers, their personalities are bound to be different and I find Liam's quite bearable."

"Well, I'm glad you find him bearable." We both let out a laugh.

"I'm happy for you, Emi." Rosie scooches closer to me on the couch and I lift my blanket so we can share one.

"Don't get too happy. I still need to find the courage to tell him everything."

"You will, it's worth the risk."

"Yeah, you're right. I think it definitely is."

"Ever since the first time he saw you he's been obsessed. Don't you remember your intense eye contact at that party. Plus all the knight in shining armor stuff he's pulled now. I mean, swoon."

Maybe Rosie's right. There were so many little moments that looking back I could see how he could possibly, maybe reciprocate feelings for me. For months I've been trying to brush those gestures off as him just being a gentleman to any girl. I take another long sip of tea letting all the memories of the past few months play through my mind. They make me smile to myself. Liam is always opening my door, listening to Taylor Swift with me, coming to check on me after my disastrous Thanksgiving. Topping everything off with inviting me to spend the holidays with him and his family because he can't stand the thought of me being alone? I think that no matter what I have to find that confidence to confess my feelings for him. Spending the rest of my life wondering doesn't seem like a great way to live.