Rhett

My face is warm and my eyelids are turning red, so I know that the sun is up. My back is stiff and I feel a dull ache in my knee. I open my eyes and last night comes back in a rush. I slept on Winnie's couch last night after taking care of her. Her migraine had gotten worse after I put her to bed and I was worried, checking on her every hour or so when I woke up to her talking in her sleep. She finally settled down and quit mumbling about 3 this morning so I decided I could come out here for the rest of the night…or morning really. I wasn't going to stay in her room, but mixed in with all the nonsense about having to move, she had asked me to stay.

My heart had done a funny little flip at that. I don't think she realizes that she could ask anything of me and I would do it but this was a request I was far too happy to agree to. I lay beside her with her small hand warm in mine, and the other gripping my arm in her sleep. As much as I hated that she was so sick, I loved the feeling of holding her hand in mine. I look around and take in the room. It's like a little greenhouse in here. There's vines and potted plants everywhere. I guess I didn't notice them last night when I invited myself in. I sit up and and stretch my tight muscles that are in desperate need of movement.

When I got here last night I fully expected to tell her that I missed her, I wanted to spend time with her, ask her to stop avoiding me. I was going to ask her on a date. A real one. I wanted her, and I was going to make my move. Then she opened her door and it was obvious she was actually sick. Anna had told me she had left the bakery yesterday morning, but I really thought it was just another excuse. She looked so miserable. I wanted to hold her and take care of her. She was always worried about everyone else. When she had sank into me on the couch, it felt like I could sit on a couch with her beside me for the rest of my life. Why had I wasted so much time trying to stay away from this woman?

I start a pot of coffee and look inside Winnie's fridge. I would bet she didn't eat much yesterday and even though I'm not a chef by any stretch of the word, Mary Holloway made sure her boys wouldn't be helpless men, so I can make a decent breakfast. I find eggs, bacon, her waffle iron and some strawberries. I can work with this.

I pour waffle batter into the iron and get the bacon going then see a small watering can and mister on the counter by the sink. In between making waffles and flipping the bacon I walk around her place watering her plants. I like being in her space. She's done a great job with the renovations. The butcher block counter tops and the jade green back splash. The wooden floors have been refinished, too. I'm leaning against the island drinking coffee and admiring her charming home when I hear her soft voice.

"Hi."

I turn to look at her and am momentarily stunned. She's taken a shower and changed. Her hair is damp and making wet spots on her thin t-shirt. Her face is completely void of makeup and I can see the freckles that I have loved and pictured just like this many times. Her lips are set in a tiny shy smile and she's leaning against the doorway with one foot propped on her other calf.

"Morning, darlin'. Are you feeling better?" A blush that I love stains her cheeks.

"Good morning. I am. My head feels back to normal weight and size. Are you cooking?" She sounds confused.

"Yes. I thought you may be hungry. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, much better than last night." She peers around me to the waffle iron on the counter and stovetop. "What are you making?"

"I hope you still like waffles. You used to help my mom make them for us on weekends." I flip two onto a new plate and top them with chopped strawberries then put a couple pieces of bacon beside them. I hold it out to her but notice she's staring at me, specifically my bare torso. I grin. She's looked at me like this more than once but having her look at me and see the heat in her eyes doesn't ever get old.

"Winnie? Do you still like waffles?" I stare at her and she has a sweet dreamy look on her face. My grin widens as she shakes her head a little.

"Oh uh, yeah, this looks great. Thanks." She's blushing and I can't help but tease her.

"My eyes are up here, Parker." She snaps her head up and meets my gaze, the pink spots on her facing deepening to a light red. I lift my eyebrows and hold out the plate again. She takes it and sits at the round dining table. She turns her attention to the bacon on her plate and takes a bite. I may not be a chef but I would cook for Winnie every morning if she would let me. Thinking about having mornings like this reminds me of why I came here last night. I'm thinking about how to bring it up when she clears her throat again.

"You know, you didn't have to stay the night, I would have been fine. I called Mare earlier in the day and was following doctors orders…but thank you for taking care of me. It was really sweet of you." She's frazzled this morning, I love listening to her ramble when she's nervous, it's adorable so I mess with her again.

"I didn't mind. It was a very eye opening night." I wink and she chokes a little, coughing.

"What do you mean eye opening?" I grab a glass from the cabinet I found them in last night and get the orange juice out of the fridge to pour her a glass before answering.

"You talked in your sleep, said some really interesting things…"

"No, I didn't! Did I?" She looks way more worried than I would have thought and that makes me incredibly curious. What could she possibly think she said? "What did you hear? I was in a lot of pain last night, so I doubt it was even coherent."

"Mmm …I don't know, Winnie. Sounded like you'd been thinking about these things for awhile." I smirk and she loses it.

"Barrett Holloway, tell me what I said right now."

"Easy, Win." I'm chuckling at her stern approach. "Take a breath. You didn't say anything I didn't already know." Her eyes flash.

"…and that would be?…"

"You only said that you think I'm the hottest man you have ever laid eyes on, that you were hopelessly in love with me, I was actually at the top of your Fantasy Hockey Player list and something about wishing you could have my babies…I think there was more, let me think for a second." A towel hits me in the face and I laugh.

"That isn't funny, you idiot!" She's laughing too, but the relief is evident.

"Sure it was. As much as I would have enjoyed you saying those things… you didn't, but you did ask me to stay…and some other things that I couldn't make sense of, something about having to move…?" Her face is now tomato red. I have no idea why it would be, but I really want to know. "What are you hiding from me? What did you really think you said?"

"Nothing....like you said, nothing you didn't already know."

I sit in the chair next to her and put my hand on her forehead. "Your color looks better now, so that's a good sign." I want to slide my hand to her cheek. She's too beautiful for words.

"I'm fine now. I think the worst has passed. Thank you again for staying…and for breakfast, but you can get going if you have other things to do today."

"Are you kicking me out the morning after, Winnie? Is that how it is?"

"No! Not that…no. I…I'm not. We didn"t…That's not even…" She takes a deep breath.

"You are so adorable when you're flustered, Winnie Parker." She winces a little but tries to hide it by looking away. Maybe I've read this whole thing wrong and I'm making her uncomfortable, but she doesn't look uncomfortable. She looks mad.

"What's wrong? What did I say?"

"Nothing. It's just that's the word you used when you told me you didn"t want to see me a couple years ago." She stands and takes her plate to the kitchen counter. I'm not sure what she's talking about. I've called her adorable many times before, but I can't remember a time when I didn't want to see her. I'd give anything to understand what just happened. Anything to go back to a few minutes ago when we were laughing in her kitchen together.

"When did I say?—"

"It's fine." She cuts me off and gives me her fake smile, but looks like she may be about to cry. What the hell did I say? "It's really fine, Rhett. Thank you for coming to check on me last night and staying to help me out. You're a good friend." Friend. That is not a strong enough word I want to use for her anymore and I'm about to tell her that but she continues before I can. "I'm sorry I asked you to stay." Her eyes are filled with unshed tears and it's killing me. "I should probably get ready and head to the bakery since I left early yesterday and I need to start getting things ready for a few special orders we have coming next week." She sniffs and moves to the entry so I have no choice but to follow her. I grab my shirt on the way and slip it over my head.

"Hang on for just a minute. I'm not sorry you asked me to stay. I wanted to be here and take care if you. What's got you so upset? Winnie, talk to me." She swipes at her beautiful face and I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

"God, I'm so embarrassed. It was a long time ago. I should be over it. I guess it just hurt because I wasn't over you then and you— well you were moving on all over the place." She trails off and I am confused…she opens the front door and I shut it again.

"Rhett. Please don't make this a thing. I'm fine. I think I'm just tired because I was sick last night."

"I'm not going to leave here with you like this." I move to pull her to me but she puts her hands up. "I'm sorry for whatever I said or did that's upset you. How can I fix this?"

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. It's my fault I'm upset. I should be passed this…"

"Passed what, darlin'? You've lost me."

"Enough with the darlin', Rhett. We left all that behind eight years ago and I don't even know why I'm upset. I'm not offering you anything." She's rambling but I'm pretty sure I'm following now and I need to let her know that she's got it all wrong.

"Do you know how I feel about you, Winnie?"

"Why are you making me say this, Rhett?" Tears are flowing freely now. She has no idea. No idea that I've been forcing myself to hold back. That I've had to fight every instinct in my body to grab her and kiss her so many times over the years I've lost count.

"I want to know what you think I feel about you."

"I'm a memory, Rhett. Maybe a good one, but just a memory."

"Is that really all you think I feel for you, Winnie? That you're just something from my past?"

"I know it is." What? That stops me.

"When? When did I ever say that to you?" I know that I didn't, because it would have been a lie and I've never lied to her.

"When I went to see you!" Her shouting stuns me. I don't think I've ever seen her this angry. She blows out a breath, trying to calm down… "…about two years ago after you got hurt at a game." I think back, wracking my brain trying to remember which game she's talking about. Two years ago…that was here in Colorado. I had gotten tossed into the boards and ended up with a dislocated shoulder, but she wasn't there. No one had been there because Hazel was being born, it had taken mom six hours to get there, insisting she needed to be there. "I…I went to the game. Alone. I was going to ask you to give us another chance, tell you that I had missed you." Her voice is low now, so quiet I'm straining to hear her. She had come? "You ended up at the hospital." She looks like she's in pain just talking about this, her lip is quivering and the sight is breaking me. "I didn't want to go in but I was worried about you." She swallows. "So I went in and just sat in the waiting room." I know how hard that must have been for her. Her anxiety around hospitals was still bad and she had been there alone. I cringe. Why wouldn't she tell me she was there?

"You were there? I didn't know. Why were you there? Why didn't you come see me? I would have made sure you stayed with me." She gives me an incredulous look.

"I tried to." Now she's angry again. "I texted you, remember?" No, she didn't.

"No, you didn't. I would remember that, Winnie."

"Yes. I did. I remember the exchange vividly."

"I did not get a message from you that night." She looks at me with rage now.

"That's enough, Rhett. Why are you being like this?" She huffs, indignantly and takes off for her bedroom. I'm afraid she's going to lock me out but when I reach the door she's walking towards me with her phone in her hand, scrolling.

"What are you doing, Winnie?" She stares at her phone and starts reciting lie after lie.

"Let me refresh your memory since I guess you've taken too many hits to head out on the ice. You said you didn't need me there, you already had someone to take care of you and as adorable as it was that I followed you around like a puppy, I really needed to move on. Then you finished with the big finale, ‘We had fun, but that's all it was, Winnie. Sorry.'" She looks up at me then. "I still have the messages on my phone as embarrassing as that is."

"Let me see them."

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack. I didn't text you that night." She hands her phone to me and I'm not quite understanding until I reread the part about someone taking care of me.

Ah. Lacey. Lacey had been there with me. I wince. Lacey and I had a very brief, very superficial relationship. We weren't even together at that time but she had insisted on coming to see me at the hospital.

"I was so mortified, so I waited for your mom to get there and went home."

"Winnie. I didn't say those things."

"What? Would you stop? You know you sent them and I have the messages right there on my phone."

"It wasn't me though. That's what I'm trying to tell you. It was an ex of mine. She showed up at the hospital and tried to get back together with me. She asked to use my phone while she was there and I didn't think anything of it. I never got your message, Winnie. I would have…" She holds her hands up.

"You don't have to do that, Rhett. In fact I would really prefer you didn't. I'm a big girl and it was a long time ago and it's not your fault that I had some idea in my head and expected you to reciprocate."

"But I would have. I did." She opens her mouth but I keep going. "I wasn't over you, Winnie. I don't think I'll ever be over you."

"Please don't say things like that to me…It isn't fair. Not to either of us."

"It's the truth. I have wanted you for as long as I can remember and I don't want to hide that anymore." She looks shocked, but I keep going. "That's why I came here last night. I was going to ask you for a second chance, as a grown man and not a boy who wouldn't fight for you or too worried about what his friend would think, but then you were sick and I just wanted to take care of you and this isn't how I wanted to do this." I take a deep breath before continuing. "I wanted to sweep you off your feet. Show you that I can be someone worthy."

"Worthy? Of what? What are you saying exactly?"

"I'm saying that I want you, Winnie." She doesn't look convinced. "Come here," I say as softly as I can.

"Why?" I answer by reaching over and gripping the waistband of her shorts, yanking her into me. She gasps and her hands fly up to catch herself against my chest. Her eyes are wide as she looks into mine. I'm not sure what she sees there but I hope it's something she wants. I lean down and skim my nose up the side of her face to her hair where I take a deep inhale of her vanilla scent. I've missed this.

"What are you doing?" she whispers.

"What I've wanted to do since that door hit you in the face the night I got back to town." I see her throat work so I search her face and give her this one chance to pull away, before I gently grip the sides of her neck and bring her mouth to mine.