Prologue

The ticking of the clock hand and my steady breathing are the only sounds I've heard for the past hour. I'm alone in a bright white room, staring blankly at the tiles of the ceiling. The last few years I've lived my dream of playing hockey at a professional level. I have gotten to do something I love and make a career out of it when most people never even get that chance. So, even though I'm lying on an exam table with the torn ligaments in my knee repaired (but not the same and with no hope of playing professional hockey again) I remind myself to be grateful for the opportunity I was so fortunate to have. There's a lot I'm going to miss about this chapter in my life but there's a lot I'm looking forward to.

I have other dreams and aspirations for my life. I've watched so many of my friends get married and settle down and it's made me think about her on more than one occasion. I've thought about our time together a lot over the last eight years. It's the small things that seem to bring on the strongest memories. She's in the fresh baked goods I get at the market on Saturdays and the notebooks I buy, but never write in. She's in the books I pick up but never open. They just sit on my shelves collecting dust.

I have gone on plenty of dates over the years and have been with other women. Only to reach the same conclusion eventually. There was always going to be the morning after. Even if it wasn't exactly ‘the morning after'. There was always going to be the moment where I had thought that maybe this time it would be different, but it wasn't.

Unfortunately, this earned me a bit of a reputation. Most of the guys on the team and the women I had been with thought my not calling them or sneaking out was because I had gotten what I wanted and couldn't be bothered to stick around. It wasn't like I had set out to hurt anyone, but when I looked over at the woman I was sitting across from at dinner or when they were lying next to me, there was the dreadful moment I knew it wasn't going anywhere.

The last time that happened was two years ago. That's when I decided to solely focus on hockey. I had just seen her at a game with my family. The way she had jumped into my arms and hugged me after I came out of the locker room. I never wanted to let her go.

All the feelings I had been trying to replicate with someone else were so easily felt in that moment. That night we talked like we hadn't in years. Like no time had passed. I thought maybe there was a shot at being with her again. When she didn't answer my call the next day or come to my next game with everyone, I figured she didn't feel the same way.

Now, I'm on my way back home to Silverthorne, Colorado to accept the job I've been offered as the new High School hockey coach. Along with getting to be with my family more and hopefully coaching my new team to victory, maybe I'll be able to find out why Winslow Parker ended things with me the summer before our lives went in different directions.