23. Eliza

Chapter 23

Eliza

I didn’t have time to have the Sunday scaries yesterday. Today though? The Monday scaries are real. Especially when I wake with one thought on my mind. I have a massive freaking crush on my roommate. This is not what was supposed to happen. Knowing it’s fake was supposed to help stop me from getting into my feelings. I should’ve known better though. At my core I’m a hopeless romantic. Which is all thanks to my mom really.

She met my dad in college, at a Christmas Eve party. They were both taken with each other right away. Two years after that he proposed and the one after that they were married. My dad passed away when I was seven, so unfortunately their love story didn't last forever but my mom has since found a new one with my stepdad Dean. Their love story is another one of my favorites and I think seeing my mom have that pure love twice has fed into my romantic side.

With a sigh, I heave myself out of bed and get ready for the day. I just need to shake this feeling, that’s all. The November chill has fully set in, so I cast aside my usual favorite outfits of dresses and skirts and grab a pair of yoga pants and a cozy hoodie. I finish getting ready and have a bowl of cereal before heading out.

I can’t seem to focus on my classes at all today. My mind keeps drifting back to the one person it shouldn’t be thinking about. Ugh, what the hell is wrong with me?

“Earth to Eliza.” Mia is standing next to my desk waving her hands in front of my face. As I look around the class I see everyone else has already headed out.

“Sorry.” I pack up my belongings, hiking my bag over my shoulder.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Mia questions as we head out of the classroom.

“I have a problem.” She raises an eyebrow to tell me to keep talking. “That teeny tiny crush I have? Yeah, not so teeny tiny.”

“I knew it!” She exclaims, loudly, earning us a look from other students in the hall.

“He’s just so… ugh.”

“So, ugh?” She laughs.

“Yes so ugh! He’s stupidly handsome which I already knew but unfortunately for me he also has a great personality. He’s so kind to me, Mi. Plus it doesn’t hurt that he’s a good kisser.”

“Ooohh, did you guys kiss again or do more?” She raises her eyebrows suggestively.

“No but I can’t stop thinking about it.” I admit. I was trying to follow his lead and just ignore the fact that we’ve ever done anything but I don’t think I can. I enjoyed it too much.

“You should tell him.”

“Tell him what? Hey Garrett, I know you don’t do love or relationships but I have a super mega crush on you and I’m hoping you’ll make an exception for me.”

“Why not? What if he does want to make an exception to his rule? It’s a stupid rule anyway. ”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to try and change him. I don’t want him to make him be someone he’s not.”

“You're not changing him if it’s something he wants.” She does make a point there. “You have to protect that big heart of yours, so you should either tell him or maybe end this whole fake thing.”

“Thanks Mi’s.” I pull her in for a hug before we part ways for our next classes.

“Anytime El.”

My next class feels excruciatingly long. Which is normal. Freaking accounting. I spent the whole hour and fifteen minutes thinking about what I want to do. How do I even approach this subject with Garrett? God, he’s gonna think I’m one of those girls who thinks she can change him. I don’t think that though. I think I just need clarity on our whole situation. The kissing and other activities, while great, are where it gets twisted in my head.

I still have a few hours until Garrett gets home from his classes. I attempt to eat some lunch but my anxiety is too high. So instead I sit on the couch and watch some New Girl. Sitcoms and reality television have a way of calming my nerves, which is why they are the two things I’m always watching. Three episodes deep Garrett strolls through the door looking as handsome as ever. He comes over to the couch, plopping down on the other end.

“New Girl?”

“Yeah.”

“I gotta watch this from the beginning at some point.” Over the past two months he’s caught bits and pieces here and there leaving him with little context of what’s going on.

“You do.”

“Will you start it over with me?” Okay, I wasn't expecting that. It does kind of lead me to a perfect opening though. I grab the remote, pausing the scene .

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Last week at the hotel was that like a one time thing?” I swallow down the anxiety in my throat.

“Do you want it to be?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. It was great. We have amazing chemistry but I don’t want to blur the lines. I know you don’t do relationships but I’m a hopeless romantic. I’m not delusional, I don’t need or want to change you but I need to protect my heart.” A heavy silence passes between us as my words hang in the air. I can’t even make eye contact with him. Too afraid of what I’ll see behind those chocolate eyes.

“What if I told you I wanted to make this real?” My head snaps in his direction, my eyes colliding with his.

“What?”

“I know I said I don’t do relationships and love but El…” He trails off like he’s trying to figure out the right words. “There’s just something about you. I haven’t had a crush in god knows how long but I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t make any promises about being the best boyfriend in the world and loving you the right way but damnit if I don’t want more of you.”

I can’t do anything but stare at him as I digest his words. This is not at all how I thought this conversation was going to go. I thought, if anything, we would end this whole charade and just be roommates and friends but he wants it to be real?

“El?”

“I… I didn’t expect this Garrett.”

“I know.” He reaches out, grabbing my hands, he interlocks our fingers. “I don’t want to make any promises but I want the chance to explore us. A real version of us.”

“You’re sure?”

“One hundred percent.” There’s confidence in his response that eases some of the anxiety in me. “So what do you say? Want to be my real girlfriend?” The confidence is still there but there’s also a vulnerability in his eyes, like he thinks I’ll deny him.

“Yes.” I can’t help the smile and small giggle that takes over me. It feels so good to hear him ask that.

“Come here.” He pulls me into his lap and then cups my face in his hands. “Your dimples. I love them.” My smile grows impossibly wider. I lean forward, closing the distance between us. I brush my lips lightly over his. He deepens the kiss, taking my mouth with his. His lips are soft and he tastes slightly minty. His phone vibrates in his pocket and we slowly break apart our eyes staying on one another.

“I’ve gotta go to practice.” He doesn’t sound thrilled about that. “I should be home around eight. We can watch a show or something tonight?” He plays with my hair, twirling pieces casually around his finger.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” He places a chaste kiss on my lips before standing with me in his arms. I squeal as he does. “Don’t drop me.”

“I would never.” He places me safely on my feet. “I’m going to go grab my stuff.” He heads up the stairs to retrieve his hockey bag. I wander into the kitchen. I did just bake a cake over the weekend but the guys ate that up, leaving no leftovers. I pull out my homemade cookbook flipping through my recipes. It might be fun to try something new tonight. As I continue to flip through the pages waiting for inspiration to strike, Garrett comes back downstairs. “I’m headed out.” He pulls me into his side and presses a kiss to the side of my head.

“Have a good practice.” I hug him back. “Hey, any requests for dessert?”

“Something with marshmallows.”

“Marshmallow? That’s random. ”

“Not random.” He shakes his head as he starts to walk towards the front door. “You alway smell kind of like marshmallows, s’mores to be specific. It’s delicious.” He smirks and heads out the door, leaving me standing there with my mouth slightly unhinged. I had no idea he picked up on these little things about me.