6. Mason

Mason

6

I hate being at the shop when I could be upstairs with Reed. But if anything will calm me down right now, it's tattooing. The one thing I enjoy.

The career my family disowned me over.

The Zane last name controls the most exclusive casinos in Las Vegas. My family has the kind of money you bleed from your pores and don't have to think about. When I was younger, I thought I'd follow in those footsteps. But the older I got, the more my eyes were opened to the possibility of chasing things I cared about. And even if I didn't want to disappoint my mom, the last person I wanted to be was my father.

So I followed my passions instead.

Dad assumed I'd grow out of it. That I'd have my fun at the local tattoo shops and come running back home when he put a limit on my trust fund. He didn't understand that his money didn't equal freedom, or that I enjoyed what I was doing.

He never accepted me setting my family obligations aside to pursue my dreams. It was the first crack in a rift that split wide open when my sister got caught up in it with me.

Sienna was three years younger than me and looking for anything more exciting than the private schools our parents sent us both to growing up. The second she got a taste of freedom, she wanted more of it. But she wasn't cut out for the crowd I started associating with, and the second I introduced her to my friend Gabe, I should have seen the writing on the wall.

I fucked up, and I didn't get her away from him in time.

I'll always live with that regret, and I deserve to. Being young and dumb is no excuse for not protecting her when I should have.

"How about thorns?" I sketch a few barbs cutting into the bleeding heart.

A vine winds around it, and I draw notches where the thorns will slice the meaty surface of the heart. It reminds me of a familiar ache in my chest. The bite from every beat, taunting me with the reasons I don't deserve to be here.

"I like it." Riggs stands, looking over my shoulder as I sketch another line. "What about adding a lock and key to it as well. Maybe have them made of bone, so it's got this whole locked in the ribcage kind of vibe?"

"Like this?" I draw around the heart, slowly adding to the tattoo sketch to make the vision come together.

"Yeah, that's fucking beautiful."

Art comes easy to me.

I'm not great with words, but I've always been able to convey emotion in pictures. All I need is a vibe, and I can tell an entire story on someone's arm—or back or chest. Give me any canvas, and I'll make something out of it.

Visuals are easy.

But ask me to vocalize what I'm thinking, and the demons in my head step in. The darkness I'll never escape.

"The thorns can end here." I skim my pencil down to the bottom edge of the heart.

Setting it down, I turn in my stool so Riggs can get a better look at the sketch.

"I don't know how you do it, man, but it's like you're inside my head."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

Riggs tips his head back and laughs at my comment.

He's one of my regulars, so we've spent a decent amount of time together these past few months. I finished his backpiece, and now we're slowly making our way down his chest. He works at the pawn shop a few streets over, and I've heard all his stories. Which is why there's no way I'd ever want to take a walk around inside his head.

"Give me a couple of days to finalize the design, and then we'll get started."

"You got it."

I stand up, setting the sketch aside.

He reaches out a hand and gives me a half hug with a pat on the back. "See you next week."

He leaves my room at the shop and heads out.

Twisted Roses is different from most tattoo parlors I've worked in. The Twisted Kings used to own the shop, so each station is its own room. The club used it for more than just tattoos back then, and discretion was more important than collaboration.

It's isolating, which is nice on days like this when I need some time to think. But I kind of miss the vibe of being able to bullshit with people all day.

Setting the sketch down, I'm left to my own thoughts. As if they weren't bad enough already, they're worse with Reed upstairs.

I want to know what she's doing, what she's thinking, how she's feeling. I want to be there in case she needs anything.

Before I left this morning, she had covered her face in makeup. It hid everything except the blood staining the white of one of her eyes. But I could still see it—her pain, her regret.

Just remembering how she flinched when I came around the corner too fast has my fists clenching. I hold that tight and close my eyes, envisioning what I'll do if I ever come face-to-face with Carter.

She shouldn't have to be alone after what he did to her. Just thinking about it has me tempted to bail on my responsibilities for the day.

But then Reed would just wonder why I care so much, and I don't know how to answer that question. So it's better if I just keep my distance and let Lyla take care of her.

First thing this morning, Sage dropped Lyla off at the apartment. She plans on hanging out all day while he works, and they have plenty to catch up on. And since Sage doesn't send Lyla anywhere without prospects guarding her, I know there are guys with an eye on the apartment.

Still, it doesn't change the fact that I'd rather be the one looking out for Reed.

Something about her calls to me, and the second I first saw her smile, it was like she held the sun in her heart. So warm and bright that something inside me melted. She makes me want to empty the universe so she's free to orbit without any disruption.

She might not know I've been drowning in darkness, but her sunbeams help me see through it. If only she saw her strength like I do, she'd understand how amazing she is. She'd know she doesn't need to hide her bruises around me because she deserves so much credit for surviving her piece of shit ex.

Last time Reed was in town, I got a glimpse of that other side of her.

We were out at a club, and Sage and Lyla disappeared, leaving me to spend the night hanging out with his sister. I didn't mind. It had been so long since I'd spent the evening just talking to someone, that I felt like a teenager again. Excited about the prospect of anything—even if it was just looking into her eyes.

Our conversation wasn't deep, and that's one of the things I loved about it.

She told me about the chickens they used to have at the compound growing up. How she would chase them around when she got bored. About how she, Lyla, and Lyla's sister used to torture Sage by getting into trouble. She told me about learning to ride a motorcycle at thirteen, and how she's still scared to swim, so she's never been in the ocean.

She's fearless, and somehow careful about it.

An enigma.

I wanted to listen to her talk all night. About her favorite color being green and her favorite food being strawberries. I was so lost in the pictures she was painting that I didn't even tell her I'm allergic. I'd let her eat one and kiss me, just to jumpstart my heart again.

She didn't ask me about my history or goals. We were just in that moment—who we were. Frozen in time and soaking in it.

And when we were done talking, we danced until the club closed. I don't fucking dance, but I did for her. Just to see her smile.

She's the kind of girl who deserves to spend her life smiling. And now that I know the darkness she has been living in, my entire chest hurts.

Making my way to the front of the shop, I stop at Crew's room, where he and Jude are standing around drinking coffee.

They own Twisted Roses, along with Sage, and Crew's wife, Echo. The four of them are a tight-knit group, and it's nice to be surrounded by that kind of closeness when I no longer keep in touch with anyone back home.

Between the owners and their wives always hanging around, the tattoo parlor feels like a found family. I should probably be trying to assimilate better into the group, but I'm still guarded after how things turned bad in Vegas.

"Was that Riggs?" Crew asks, tipping his chin toward the hallway behind me.

"Yeah, we're going to start on his chest piece next week."

He nods. "Nice."

They glance at each other, and then back to me.

"What's on your mind?" I ask.

"Is everything all right?" Jude crosses his tattooed arms over his chest, looking angrier than usual, which I didn't think was possible.

"I'm guessing you heard from Sage."

Jude nods once. "I hope Carter's dumb enough to show up."

"I second that." Crew shakes his head.

Given what Sage said about him, I don't think Carter's dumb enough to come to town, but I'd love for him to do it anyway.

"I've known Reed since she was sixteen," Jude says, raking his hair back. "That fucking asshole deserves everything that's coming to him."

Jude might be friendly when it comes to work at the shop, but he doesn't bother trying to hide the fact that he'll fuck someone up if they test him.

"I'd have fun with him." Crew's pale eyes glimmer. "Put him in the ring, and we can go a few rounds until I cave his face in on itself."

"I'll help," Jude offers.

Crew nods, and his dark expression tells me just how much he likes that thought as he looks over at me. "How's Reed?"

"She's Reed, so she's hiding it well." I say it like I know her when I don't. "But if you saw what he did..."

Rage boils up inside me. Those fitful demons thrashing around, begging me to let them out.

"I've no doubt." Crew shakes his head. "She's staying with you?"

"Yeah." I take a breath and try to lay the angry beasts between my temples to rest. "For now. She doesn't want to go to the clubhouse, and I think she's comfortable there."

Jude and Crew share a look.

"It's not like that with Reed." I stop whatever they're thinking before they get the chance to make it more than it is. "Besides, Sage already gave me the lecture about not touching his sister the last time she came to town."

"Sage is a fucking hypocrite." Crew laughs. "He's the one who went and fucked his MC president's daughter."

When Crew puts it that way, I guess he's right. Sage knew Lyla was off-limits, and it didn't stop him.

"Still. That was before. But now…" I rake my hair back. "Reed's going through shit, and I'm not an asshole. She doesn't need that."

If Reed had come to town for any other reason, I don't doubt I'd have flirted with her the moment I got the chance. Boyfriend or not, that girl tempted me the first time I laid eyes on her. But this is different. She's trying to heal, and I'm not about to put my selfish desires ahead of whatever she's going through.

The last thing she needs is some guy asking for pieces when she's in the middle of trying to sort them out.

"I know, man. We're just fucking with you." Jude pats me on the shoulder as he walks past me. "Take care of her, all right? And let us know if there's anything we can do to help."

A knot forms in my throat that makes it impossible to speak. I'm choking for air as the room closes in around me. I nod at the guys, but they're blurry as I make my way back to my station and shut the door behind me.

The demons are winning again.

I've failed once, and they're taunting me like it renders me incompetent.

Everything's loud when I'm itching to silence it. But I can't.

For her, I close my eyes and focus.

For her, I find a reason to be here.

I can't fail Reed like I failed my sister.