30. Reed

Reed

30

"I don't think you're supposed to mix Benadryl and alcohol." Mason offers me a lopsided grin as he takes another drink of allergy medicine.

Tipping up the bottom, I force him to drink the whole dose. "It's either that or we go to the hospital. And you already refused that option."

"Because I'll be fine. I'm just a little itchy."

He scratches his neck, aggravating the red spots that have patched his skin.

"Careful." I pull his hand away. "You're going to make them angrier."

"Not sure that's possible, Sticks." Mason finishes the medicine and sets the cup on the counter.

He slides off the stool and starts making his way to the couch.

"Couldn't you have changed seats before everyone left?" I ask, coming to his side to hold his arm. "If you fall, there's no way I'll be able to catch you. You're just going to crush me, big guy."

Mason pauses, tipping my chin up and smiling, even if his eyes are a little hazy. "I'd never crush you, Reed."

He lets my face go, and that promise feels like a lot more than he's not going to fall on me.

At least he gets to the couch before he collapses.

"Fuck." He lays back, draping his arm over his forehead.

I try to walk around him, but he catches me before I get the chance, pulling me on top of him. I scoot until I'm sitting with my back to the couch, and my legs are draped over his hips.

"No getting away now." He grins. "Plus, aren't you supposed to be watching out for me? What if my reaction got worse?"

"It's not going to get worse." I roll my eyes. "The spots are already starting to fade."

"Good. You're going to have to try harder than that to get rid of me."

"I'm not trying to get rid of you." I swat at him, but he catches my hand, kissing the back of it. "You're the one who never mentioned you're allergic to strawberries."

He shrugs. "Guess it never came up."

"Well, I wish this wasn't how it had." I shake my head. "Any other secret allergies I need to be aware of?"

"Nah, just strawberries." His eyes blink as he yawns, and he must be getting tired between the drinks and the medicine. "It's how I knew you were trouble."

"What do I have to do with your strawberry allergy?" I narrow my eyes. "I mean, besides the obvious after this evening?"

Mason laughs. "You have no idea, Reed."

"Then tell me."

Mason rolls onto his side, and I slide down next to him so I'm pinned between him and the back of the couch. He pulls one of my legs up over his hip, but it isn't sexual. He's holding me like he just needs me close in whatever capacity I'll give him.

"Remember us going out to the club the first time you came to town?"

"And my brother ditching me for Lyla? Yes."

"I wasn't complaining." Mason winks, and it sends a flutter through my core. "But yeah, you smelled like strawberries that night. And I knew it didn't matter if you had a boyfriend or if you were Sage's sister… It didn't matter if one bite of you would kill me from an allergic reaction. I wanted you anyway."

"Smelling like strawberries doesn't mean I'm actually made of them, you know."

Mason reaches up, brushing my hair off my face. "Always so rational."

"Sorry."

"I'm not." He traces my cheekbone, watching my face with such intent I'm desperate to know what he's thinking. "How did Carter get so lucky? He didn't deserve you, Reed."

Mason drops his hand and a hint of sadness drifts through his expression before he forces a smile, which is likely for my sake.

"I didn't know any better, I guess." It might have been a rhetorical question, but for some reason, I feel the need to answer. "And I thought he was someone he wasn't."

Carter is a salesman at heart, and I fell for it. I believed all the lies he told me. I didn't see past the chocolates, flowers, and dates those first couple of years.

He hung love up on a string and asked me to reach for it. So that's what I did. It was the fairytale I didn't believe I could have growing up. He dangled the attention I was desperate for, and I took the bait.

That first year was everything I could ever ask for. Or so I thought.

Looking back, I was blind to the warnings. It wasn't him falling head over heels; it was manipulation at its best.

From the beginning, he would make small comments about my friends. Playful at first, until the rift started to grow between me and them. Eventually, he'd cut them out of my life entirely.

At restaurants, he'd always order my food. I thought it was sweet, and he wanted me to try new things, but really, he was training me to manage my calorie intake.

I was young and na?ve. It was control, not love.

And every time Mason does something for me that is genuinely for me, I realize just how true that was.

Carter didn't care about my well-being. He never cared about anything more than himself.

I sigh. "We were both so young. I don't know if he was always that person or if me being so agreeable made him that person, but I guess it doesn't matter."

"Nature vs. nurture," Mason says, and I nod. "That only works for some things, Reed. In this case, it wasn't you, so don't put that on yourself."

"You're awfully philosophical when you're hopped up on allergy medicine."

"I've learned from the best." He pats my hip with his hand. "Do I sound as smart as you are yet, Sticks?"

I can't hold back my laugh. "You're always smart, Mason."

"Not when it comes to you. You make me really fucking stupid."

"Thanks?" I wince.

"Don't worry." He kisses my forehead. "It's a compliment."

"If you say so."

"I do." He kisses me again. "Do you miss him?"

My heart jumps into my throat at his question. Of all the things he might have said, I didn't expect that. The allergy medicine mixing with the alcohol is loosening his tongue.

"Do you really want to know the answer?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"No, that's not what I'm saying." I lace my fingers through his. "I'm just surprised it's not awkward for you to hear about my ex."

"I mean, I don't want to hear about him." Mason tightens his grip on my hand. "But I want to understand you, and he was a big part of your life. He's the reason you're here with me now. I'm just trying to get to know Reed Jackson—fully."

"I'm not that interesting."

"To me, you are." He gives me a gentle kiss, and I melt for him.

His lips pressed to mine float my heart to the stars and warm it with the heat of the sun. And when he pulls back, the cool plummet as I fall to earth has me wanting him even more.

"Well, for the record, I don't miss him. I miss the life I thought I was going to have with him, but not Carter himself."

"Do you think I'm like him?" Mason asks, hugging me close. "I've hurt people. I killed someone."

"Someone responsible for terrible things."

"Does that make it right?"

Does it?

According to the motorcycle club that raised me, yes. An eye for an eye, blood for blood. But Mason isn't like them. And I don't think he acted solely out of revenge.

I cup his cheek, brushing my thumb over his jaw. "Do you think if Gabe was still here, he would have learned from your sister's death? Do you think he could have redeemed himself?"

"No." Mason's gaze darkens.

"I think that's why you really did it. Not just for her, but for all the women he could have gone after next. Does it make it right? No. But you're going to have to live with that. And I don't judge you for it if that's what you're worried about."

He places his hand over mine, holding my palm to his face while he watches me.

"Sienna was like you. She always saw the good in people, no matter how awful they were."

"My weakness."

"It's not a weakness, Reed." He holds his palm over my hand. "It's your strength. You believe in the best. Sure, sometimes that doesn't work out, but it's better than being like me. So fucking jaded and not trusting anyone."

"Do you trust me?"

He smiles. "Completely."

I can't help the grin that stretches my face. "Well, that's probably good, seeing as you're a little loopy and at my mercy right now."

Mason leans in and plants a kiss on my lips, pausing for a moment before breaking it. "My heart's been at your mercy since I met you."

"Doubt that." I roll my eyes. "You were plenty occupied when we met."

Mason's revolving door of women was as prolific as my brother's. And I was fine with that. It was one more reason on the list of why I shouldn't have been thinking about him the way I was. Especially when I had a boyfriend.

"I was just looking for something I was never going to find."

"What makes you think you'd never find it?" I tap his lip with my finger. "After all, you were putting in so much effort."

He grins, grabbing my chin and tipping my face up to his. "Keep it up, Sticks. I might be too drugged to act on it now, but I'm going to have fun taming this mouth later."

"Promise?"

His gaze heats, and a growl rumbles in his chest. Mason leans in, nipping at my lower lip before pulling away.

"But seriously, why not?"

"Because…" He shrugs. "None of them were going to be you."

I roll my eyes.

"Seriously. Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"No." I shake my head. "But I do believe you've mixed a little too much whiskey and Benadryl, and it's making you say things you're going to regret in the morning."

"Can't regret the truth. And you can't run from it either. It's always going to be staring you in the face until you finally accept it."

I wait for him to realize what he's saying to me. But he doesn't falter. He just stares.

"Love at first sight," I repeat, trying to picture it.

"I believe in love at first sight," he says. "I loved you the first moment I met you."

"That's called lust."

"Nope." Mason shakes his head, and he's in and out of sleep with his steady breaths. "Lust fades out. Whatever you planted in my chest just keeps growing, no matter how much my demons try to hack it away. I loved you the first time I saw you, and nothing's ever going to make that stop."

My heart is hammering at his confession. At how it sits in this quiet room while he drifts off to sleep.

Love.

I brush his dark blond hair off his forehead and trace his face.

Love.

I don't want to feel it.

Love.

I didn't want that ever again.

Love.

So what's this warm feeling welling up under my ribs?

Resting my head on the center of Mason's chest, I breathe him in. I listen to his heartbeat and feel the warmth of the man who brought me back to life. Who saw the girl I forgot I was inside.

"I love you too, Mason," I whisper, not knowing what that means for us, but that it's the truth in one form or another. "I love you too."