14. Reed

Reed

14

I skim my fingers down the front of the sparkly red dress. It matches my lipstick perfectly.

My hair is freshly dyed with subtle lowlights, and my skin is glowing.

The door to the bedroom opens, and I turn to find Carter leaning against the frame, grinning at me.

"Stunning, baby." His eyes skim me over, and I bathe in his appreciation.

He's been working so much lately, I barely see him, so I wanted to make myself look extra nice for his fundraiser this evening.

Carter lifts off the doorframe, and a piece of his dark hair falls over his forehead. His dress shirt is unbuttoned, showing off his solid chest. He's been distant lately, but the way he stalks toward me now makes this dress worth every cent.

When he reaches me, he pulls something out from behind his back.

I look down at the daisy and fight the tears that immediately well up. He used to bring them to me all the time when we first started dating. I joked that daisies weren't that special, but they were pretty, and he said he'd find a way to make them special for me.

He'd bring me a bouquet every week until that slowly tapered off.

As I take the daisy from him, it all floods back. The reason I'm fighting for us. The man he is when he tries to be.

Carter cups my face in his hands and pulls me to him. His lips sink to mine, and I search for that rush I used to get. It's faded these past couple of years with the struggles we've been through. But I want it.

I need it.

When he pulls back, he's grinning.

"You like the dress then?"

Carter gently kisses me on the forehead. "You'd look stunning in anything."

I turn to the mirror, and he moves behind me, his hands dragging down the front of my stomach as he pulls my back to him. He grazes down to my thighs and back up again. It's intimate when he's been unaffectionate lately.

"I'm going to tear this off you later, baby." He nips at my ear.

"Oh yeah?" I smile at the attention.

I'm starving. I've needed it.

"Mm-hmm." He hums, meeting my stare through the mirror. "But maybe stick with the salad at dinner tonight, babe. You've been getting a little thicker lately, and this dress is already tight as can be. Wouldn't want you ripping through it before I get the chance."

All color drains from my face; my eyes go wide.

"Come on. Don't look at me like that." Carter shakes his head, smacking me on the ass as he turns to start walking away. "You know I don't mind your ass so long as you manage it."

His phone rings, and I'm still staring at the back of his head as he disappears. As the fabric of the dress feels like it's shrinking around me. As the room drains the air from my chest and my life from my skin.

Turning to the mirror, I scan myself, and I try to find the beauty that was there moments ago. But I can't.

Ever since Carter left daisies outside the apartment a couple of days ago, the nightmares are back. Reminders I worry will live in the corners of my mind until the end of time.

At least today, I'm going out and can hopefully forget them for a little while.

Mason slows the car to a stop outside the Twisted Kings clubhouse, and I'm still frozen in my seat as he circles and opens my door. He holds out a hand, and he doesn't realize what he's reaching for.

I'm a mess. A disaster. Every time I think I've made progress, Carter finds a way to drag out the scared, cowardly girl he molded me into.

"Thanks." I plant my palm in Mason's.

It's easier to hide that I'm still falling apart if I let the people around me help me. Because then it erases the hint of pity in their eyes.

When I'm out of the car, I pull my hand away and tuck it in the front pocket of my hoodie. At least here, I don't have to pretend to be perfect on the outside when I don't want to. It never did me any good with Carter anyway, so what's the point?

It's been a couple of years since I've been to the Twisted Kings compound. Every time I came to visit my brother, I'd stay at his apartment in the city.

Looking up at the clubhouse, so much has changed.

Lyla sent me pictures of the damage from the explosions that took out part of the building last year when some of the members turned on the club, but I never saw it in person. And now, they've done so much work, I can barely see where the damage happened.

The outside of the clubhouse has been rebuilt, and there's a new roof being installed. The stairs look like they were just recently redone, and even if they maintained the same appearance of the clubhouse I remember, it looks fresh and new.

We're halfway up the steps when Sage and Lyla step outside.

When we were kids, she swore she'd never be a biker's girl, and I never believed it. She was in love with my brother from the moment she met him. And as he wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to his side so he can kiss the top of her head, the love between them fills the air. They're where they belong—at the club and with each other.

"Hey, Reed." Lyla waves.

"Hey." I smile. "Feeling better?"

Her face sours. "Honestly, no. But I'll get through it."

Sage catches her hand before she has a chance to pull away, tugging her back in so she spins into his chest. "I can drive you over there."

She smiles as she looks up at him. "I'll be fine. Go get your business out of the way so I get you all to myself this evening."

He kisses her, and my nose scrunches when they start to moan. I can't figure out how the guys around here deal with watching Sage and Lyla daily because it's borderline sickening.

"Stop being disgusting. She'll be fine. I've got her."

Lyla and Sage pull apart, and she smiles over her shoulder at me. "It's only disgusting because he's your brother."

"Nah, you guys are just disgusting all around," Mason agrees with me, and it makes me smile.

Except, maybe Lyla is right because when Mason glances in my direction, I wouldn't mind him acting out all the thoughts that run through my head about him.

"See you tonight." Lyla pulls away from Sage and walks over to me while Mason continues up the steps.

"I'll pick you up when we're done."

I nod, following Lyla down the path to where her car is parked, glancing back to catch a glimpse of Mason following my brother into the clubhouse.

He's out of place here in his jeans, black hoodie, and sneakers. No leather cut or boots. In any other setting, Mason's height and wide shoulders might make him intimidating, but his protective presence isn't the same as the hard edge the guys at the club carry around.

I have no doubt Mason would go to the same lengths they do to protect someone he cares about, but he isn't like them. And that's another thing on the growing list of things that draws me to him.

"Oh yeah?" Lyla nudges my shoulder, and I snap my attention to the path ahead of me.

"What?"

"Don't even try to play coy with me. I saw that."

But I pretend I don't know what she's talking about as I climb in the passenger seat, and we make our way across the compound. It's not like I'm going to act on it. Mason and I are friends, nothing more. After everything he's seen when it comes to me, he'd never be interested anyway.

I'm a roller coaster, and if he's smart, he'll stay off it.

After a short drive, we're in the neighborhood. Which is just the term the club uses for the collection of houses on the edge of the property. It's where the council members' families live. And for a while, it was mostly abandoned. But as I look up and down the street and see cars and signs of life, I realize it's another way Sage and Lyla are bringing a sense of family back to the club.

"I thought you guys moved into my dad's old house?" I ask when she stops the car in front of the one next door and climbs out.

"We did. But I told Candy we'd come to hang out with her for a bit."

Candy was Blaze's longtime girlfriend until they finally got married when Blaze was promoted to president.

After Lyla's father was killed, Blaze took his spot and brought my brother on as his VP. Lyla and Candy have taken it upon themselves to bring the sense of community back to the compound, and it's working.

"Hey, girlies." The door swings open before we're up the steps.

Candy is bubbly as usual while still looking like someone you don't want to mess with. She's wearing a skintight leopard tank top and black jeans that mold to her figure. Her tattoos are on display as she toys with her lip ring.

"Lyla." She hugs her, and as Lyla passes into the house, Candy pulls me to her. "Hey, Reed, it's been forever."

"It has." I smile at her. "You've got brown hair now?"

I've only met her a few times over the years, but her hair has been a different color each time. Pink. Purple. Green. For once, it's all natural.

Candy places her hand on her stomach as she guides me into the house. "This little stinker is lucky I love ‘em because I miss my fun hair."

"You're pregnant?" My gaze drops to where she's rubbing her stomach.

"Just found out last week." She smiles.

"Good lord, what do they put in the water around here? First, all the guys at the shop get hitched. And now you all are knocked up?"

"I'll tell you the secret." Candy smiles wide, pulling three glasses out of the cabinet while Lyla and I take seats at the kitchen table. "It's all the sex."

Lyla bursts out laughing, and my cheeks flare at her comment.

"What?" Lyla asks when I look at her. "She's not wrong."

"Well, congratulations. But I'll happily stay an aunt for now." I take a sip of my water when Candy sets it in front of me.

"You say that…" Lyla narrows her eyes, skimming me. "But even if you don't want a baby, you looked halfway ready to start practicing five minutes ago."

"Ooh." Candy drops into her seat and pins me with her stare. "Do tell."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Reed's been crashing with Mason above the shop." Lyla shares on my behalf.

"The tall one?"

She nods.

"Hot." Candy fans her face, and Lyla laughs.

"Almost two months now. And if you saw the way they were looking at each other when they got here… I give them a couple of weeks until they're practicing themselves."

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but we're just friends."

"Friends?" Lyla frowns. "Who live together."

"He's giving me a place to stay."

"You brought him lunch three days this week."

"My brother is such a fucking gossip."

"Only to me." She smiles triumphantly.

"Whatever, there's nothing going on. I'm still trying to get my head on straight from Carter, and Mason probably thinks I'm a mess."

Candy and Lyla share a look that has me crossing my arms over my chest.

"What?"

"Is that what this is really about?" Lyla leans forward, tapping her fingers on her water glass. "Because he doesn't look at you like he thinks you're a mess."

"Well, he should."

"Why?" Lyla frowns. "Because Carter was a dick? I've never gone through what you have, Reed, so I can't pretend to understand it. But I can promise you that whatever doubts Carter planted are wrong. You're smart, funny, beautiful. I'm not the only one who thinks that."

I drag my fingers into my hair and pull it off my face. "Mason's a good guy. I know that. But I'm still this raw wound, bleeding all over the place. He doesn't need that kind of mess in his life. He's been through enough."

Her face pinches, but I don't say more because his family history isn't my story to tell.

"I think it's better if we just keep things as friends." Even if that's the last thing I want to do lately.

"Understood." Lyla nods. "But just know that if you change your mind, there's nothing wrong with that. You're allowed to move on at some point. However fast or slow feels right to you."

She reaches out and places her hand over mine, squeezing it.

"Thanks."

I'd like to be ready now, even if it sounds too soon. Mason makes me feel ready for things I didn't think I'd ever want again.