33. Scarlett

The senseof a joint ending and beginning I feel after Grandmother's death is hard to explain. The whole drive back to Elysium, Lyssa and I were joking, laughing. But the weight of taking another life still means something to me, and eventually I fell silent, sank into my darker thoughts as I went over everything that had led up to that one moment.

Grandmother's death.

I'm quiet until we get back to Lyssa's bedroom, avoiding the others, who also made it back safely. And then Lyssa, who seems to understand my mood, just takes me into her bed and wraps herself around me, a physical reminder that I am safe, I am loved, and I am hers.

"Lyssa?" I ask now, my voice little more than a whisper.

She cocks an eyebrow in response, waiting.

"Can I…would it be possible for me to see my parents again?"

The understanding in her eyes is swiftly followed by pity. "Scarlett," she begins, her tone softer than I've ever heard it. "You're not under anyone's control anymore. Not mine, not the Syndicate's, and certainly not Grandmother's. No one owns you. You are free to go where you want, whenever you want. So if you want to see your parents, we'll go. Right now, if you like. Or you can go alone, if you'd prefer that."

Tears sting my eyes as I gaze up at this woman—this Big Bad Wolf who showed me a way out of the dark forest I was lost in. And now I can envision a future that doesn't revolve around vengeance and violence. One where I can reclaim the dreams I thought were lost forever.

"Not right now," I say, reaching for her. "And I would like you to come when I do." My fingers graze her cheek, and I enjoy the way her pupils widen. "Tomorrow, maybe. Or the next day. But right now, I just want to be with you. Like this."

Lyssa's smile deepens, crinkling the corners of her eyes in a way that makes my heart flutter. "Sounds good to me," she murmurs, and presses her lips to mine.

In her embrace, I feel the very last remnants of the old Scarlett—the haunted, vengeful assassin—blow away like smoke in the wind. A new path lies ahead for me, and maybe it won't be easy, not all the time. But I won't be walking it alone.

Not anymore.

For the first time in a long time, I return home through the front door. I raise my hand to knock, but the door swings open before my knuckles can rap against the wood. There, framed in the entryway, stands my mother, a giant smile splitting her face.

"Scarlett?" She reaches out as if to touch me, then seems to think better of it, her hand falling away.

"Hi again, Mom." I step forward and engulf her in a hug. For a second she stands stiff and shocked, and then she's hugging me back in a fierce embrace, her shoulders shaking with muffled sobs.

"My girl," she whispers into my hair, her voice thick with tears. "My sweet, beautiful girl. You're alright. I thought—I thought maybe?—"

"I'm alright," I tell her, inhaling the achingly familiar scent of home. Memories of a simpler time, before the world turned upside down and innocence gave way to the dark realities that reshaped my life.

I'm vaguely aware of Lyssa lingering in the background, her steady presence a reassuring counterpoint to the turmoil within me. I gently disentangle myself from my mother's arms.

"Mom, I..." My voice cracks, and I pause to compose myself. "I owe you and Dad an apology. For everything that's happened—for shutting you out and letting my life spiral so far out of control. I know sorry can never be enough, but I hope..." I swallow hard. "I hope you'll let me try to make amends. To be part of your lives again, if you'll have me."

My mom's lips quirk in a sad, watery smile as she cups my face in her hands. "Oh, sweetheart. There's nothing to forgive. We're just grateful to have you back with us, no matter what's happened."

The sound of footsteps approaching makes me turn, and there's my father striding into the living room. He stops dead when he sees me.

"Dad," I choke out, willing myself not to crumble under the weight of his searching gaze. "I…"

For an endless, agonizing moment, he simply stares at me in silence. Then, with a sharp exhalation, he's crossing the distance between us, enveloping me in his arms as his shoulders hitch with barely contained emotion.

"My God, Scarlett…you're really here."

I nod against his chest, blinking back tears as I cling to him with every ounce of strength in my body. "I'm here, Dad. And I'm so sorry."

Eventually, we migrate to the living room, the three of us settling into the overstuffed armchairs that have played silent witness to so many memories over the years. Lyssa perches attentively on the edge of my chair, her demeanor courteous yet somehow apart from the intimacy of our reunion.

"So," my father begins once the tearful greetings have subsided. He aims a sidelong glance at Lyssa before returning his scrutiny to me. "Are you…well, are you still with that group you were mixed up in? Or with this special forces group? Or…?"

A lump forms in my throat as I try to find a way to explain. "Well, I'm with Lyssa, now. As—as partners as well as, uh, colleagues. I mean," I go on awkwardly, "she's my?—"

"Girlfriend," Lyssa supplies. "And yes. Scarlett is no longer with the asshole—excuse me, Mrs. Fletcher—no longer mixed up with the bad guys who kidnapped the two of you. But she is still mixed up with me, I'm afraid."

Mom looks…actually delighted. "How lovely!" she says, beaming. "And you don't need to pull your punches, Lyssa. Those people were assholes."

"Mom!" I've never heard her swear before, and she actually giggles.

As for Dad, though, I see a faint glistening in the corners of his eyes. "Thank God you're staying away from them. After your last visit…" He swallows hard. "We were so worried for you, sweetheart."

"I'm so sorry, Dad. I really am."

Reading the anguish in my expression, my mother lays a gentle hand on my arm. "We won't dwell on the past, dear. Not tonight. Tonight is for celebrating the fact that you've returned to us at last."

"She has," Lyssa says. "And while the past can't be changed, Scarlett has a future ahead of her now. One of her own making."

My mother looks at me with hopeful curiosity.

"Yeah," I say awkwardly. "Actually, I thought…I thought I might go back to school. Finish up my medical training. Maybe even become a doctor, like I planned before…" My mouth twists, unwilling to drag up the past again. "Well, before everything went sideways."

Lyssa and I have talked this through. Like she keeps reminding me, the money isn't a consideration for me, not anymore. And she said she likes the idea of banging a doctor.

And, weirdly, I also nervously ran it past Hadria when I happened to catch her alone in the medical room the other day. She said she'd come down to make sure it was still well-stocked, and agreed at once that it would be incredibly useful to the Syndicate to have a member with medical knowledge. While the rest of the Syndicate's medical contacts have come around—as soon as Zepp Imperioli was out of the picture, coincidentally—she has seen a strategic weakness and plans to plug it up.

"Oh, Scarlett," Mom says. "That's wonderful." And now she's crying again, hugging me again, and so is Dad.

And finally, I know I've truly come home. Home to the person I had the potential to be, before Grandmother got hold of me, before I let hate and rage become my guiding forces.

Now, for the first time since Adam's death, I can breathe freely—and instead of those last terrible moments with him, I can remember the good times instead, a whole lifetime of love to cherish. And that's how I'll honor him from now on.

By remembering my love for him, and his for me.