27. Willow

TWENTY-SEVEN

Willow

Standing in the shadow of the hall was intimidating. We’d climbed Shadowridge Peak, and while I thought I would get answers here, I just had more questions.

It was so cold the air felt frigid against my cheeks. I knew I had no sleeping bag, and I was reluctant to ask Caleb where he thought he was going to put me that didn’t end up with me freezing to death. While I stood in the recess of the hall, I knew with absolute certainty I wasn’t stepping in there.

I knew it was where he killed all those people, and while I would never describe myself as overly sensitive, willingly walking into a place that had seen so much death, I didn’t think I dared to do it.

I watched Caleb carefully, each movement he made, each flicker of emotion that crossed his face. He was normally so stoic, but here, with those shadows lingering, I wondered if he knew how he looked. He was at the edge of the clearing, near the jagged entrance, his posture rigid as he stared out at…nothing .

What was there to see? The view was beautiful—I couldn’t deny that—but there was nothing that he needed to stand guard against.

The night was falling and so was the temperature, and as the shadows crept along the ground, I was no longer sure what was the effect of the dying light and what was the spirits that lay around him like a cloak.

Despite everything that had happened in the last few months, I wouldn’t have called myself psychic, but it was so very hard to deny that there was something otherworldly clinging to him. Something was so wrong here. He was so wrong here. Edgy. Paranoid. I could see it in the way he moved, in the way he barely seemed to remember that I was here.

And I was beginning to doubt that my being here mattered. Between his confession, his erratic behavior, and the madness that seemed to have enveloped him, Caleb was unraveling at the edges. It kind of made sense, but it was also so baffling that I was lost.

And still, I felt that there was more. Something even deeper. Was it only the spirits that crept around the edges of my awareness, shadows in the night that didn’t belong? Or was there someone—something—influencing him? Something that twisted his thoughts and was pushing him to the brink of something dangerous?

He told me he was strong. They’d explained Will to me. But to hold people still in a room, many, many people, to hold them and one by one kill them, that was more than strong. An alpha had Will; could Cannon match his strength? I had no idea. And I wasn’t sure if we’d need to find out, because right now, to me, an outsider, it looked like Caleb was being manipulated.

I just didn’t know by who or why.

But we needed to know. I had to find a way to reach him, to make him realize that his actions were so out of character for him, before whatever pulled at him also dragged him under.

A blast of wind caught my hood, blowing it over my face, and when I pushed it back enough to see, he was gone.

“Caleb?” My voice sounded so small in the clearing.

Movement caught my eye, and I saw the wolf coming out of the trees. I’d felt it beside me while I slept, and last night, I’d been awake when he settled down beside me. This was the first time that I was seeing the gray wolf properly.

I knew little of wolves, but I was pretty sure they weren’t supposed to be so big. Not stupidly big—they weren’t pony-sized—but he definitely wasn’t normal . The gray was dark but not dark enough to be mistaken for black. Had I been painting, I would have called it dark slate, not quite charcoal, but close. His fur was short. He had no other color on his coat, but it was his eyes that held my attention. They were a deep and beautiful blue.

Why I was so hung up on the fact his eye color changed when he had changed from a man to a wolf was probably stupid, but one of Caleb’s best features that I loved about him was his deep chocolate brown eyes, and for them to change when he “changed” threw me for a loop.

The wolf approached me. Caleb approached me. Its head was held high with a majesty I had never experienced before. His gaze was so sure, so steady, and I met its highly intelligent look with my own, knowing how unsure I was .

I had no idea how to act. What if the wolf was more primal and it bit me? Ate me? Is that why he didn’t care if I had a sleeping bag? He was going to munch on my bones for dinner.

Will you get a grip? My inner voice sounded exasperated with my out-of-control panicking spiral.

“Caleb?”

The wolf watched me, and then, with a jerk of its head, it started to walk away. I had no choice but to follow it. He paused, moving around me, shielding me from the wind with his body. I appreciated the gesture, but still, the courtesy didn’t make me feel any less tense.

“Some warning that you’re going to turn into a wolf would be nice.” If he heard me, he ignored me. “Coming out of the trees as a giant wolf is kind of freaky, you know. You should warn a girl.”

A blue eye fixed on me, and I decided it would be best if I stopped talking.

I hadn’t been paying attention to where he was leading me until I was at a small, compact cabin. This one didn’t look as desolate as the others, and when Caleb pushed at the door, it swung open with no resistance. He stepped back and looked at me, and I looked between him and the half-open door.

“You want me to go in there?” The wolf’s head dipped. “But you’re not coming in?” The wolf took a step back. “Right.” I looked at the open door again. “Why can’t you ask me to go in there as a man? Why change to the wolf?”

The wolf not so subtly stepped behind me and nudged me through the door, careful not to enter.

When I turned to protest, he was already trotting back the way we had come. That was it? I was to go into this creepy abandoned cabin and what? Wait?

It wasn’t warm, but it was better than being outside. Slowly, I took a few more steps inside, crying out with alarm when the lights came on. They were dim, but they brightened up the place. Looking around, the open-plan living space with the kitchen in the corner was pretty. Comfy even. One door to the back led to a small bedroom, and the other led to the bathroom.

My gaze rested on the shower for too long. Was it possible? Was there hot water? Coming back into the living space, I saw him outside the window. In his jeans and nothing else.

Hurrying to the door, I stepped out onto the small wooden porch. “You’re going to freeze.”

“Nah.” He didn’t look at me, placing my backpack on the porch. “The generator’s on. It’ll take a while to get everything running again. I’m feeding the supply to this cabin, but heat and hot water shouldn’t be too far away.”

“Why change form?”

“Going hunting, I’m a better hunter on four legs than two.” He still didn’t make eye contact.

“You’re not going to come in, are you?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Whose home was this?” I didn’t know why I asked. It wouldn’t make a difference to me, and I wouldn’t know if he lied.

“Nell’s. Never liked me much. Said I was pampered.” His eyes were back on the tree line. “Never really cared for her either, if I’m honest. Old age got her before Cristone Pack did, so this one is safe.”

Safe .

I stepped closer to him, my heart pounding. “Caleb, you need to listen to me.” He never turned his head to look at me, but I kept on going. “Something’s happening to you, something I don’t think you are aware of.”

His silence was unnerving, but finally, he turned to me. The look in his eyes sent a chill through me that had nothing to do with the cold. “What are you talking about?”

The way he was looking at me but not really seeing me made me want to reach out to him. “Caleb.” I took another step closer, careful, measured. “You know what I’m talking about. Being here, the darkness that follows you, you’re not yourself, Caleb.”

“I’m going to get dinner,” he told me, his voice low, rough, and irritated. “Try to get warm. Run the water for a few minutes, clear the pipes. Shouldn’t be too bad.”

It’d been ten years, maybe longer since those pipes had been run, was he serious? “Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah. I don’t know what you’re trying to say to me, Willow. I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” I tried to make my voice gentle and careful. “You’ve been different since we got here.”

“Have I?” I heard the defensive tone, and I made my own voice firmer.

“You’ve been erratic, paranoid…angry.”

“You got this from me turning on the generator?” His arms crossed his chest, snowflakes melting on his bare skin.

“Don’t do that,” I warned him. “I’m not fighting with you.” Taking a deep breath, I stepped off the porch. “I’m not trying to hurt you.” Reaching for him, I let my hand fall when he stepped back, trying to hide the pain of his action as I carried on. “You told me yourself, there are… things here, and I think they are influencing you, Caleb. You’re not being rational.”

His eyes flashed with something. That murky purple color was back, and I was worried I’d pushed too far. But I had to make him see it, I had to make him realize.

“You think I’m losing my mind?” His hands were clenched at his sides.

“Are you?” Swallowing hard, I held his gaze. “Ignoring the fact that you’re in jeans, barefoot, and shirtless in the freezing snow like it’s perfectly fucking normal, you’ve got all this darkness around you.”

“I’m a shifter, we run hot.”

“You don’t run with anti-freeze, though, do you?” My anger was rising. “You’re listening to the shadows that surround you! Whose voices are you listening to? You told me the dead lived here; are you so eager to join them?”

Caleb watched me, remaining quiet, and I could feel the weight of his struggle as he tried to hold onto his temper. He didn’t want to hear this, I knew that, but I wouldn’t remain quiet until he believed me.

I refused to back down. “Please, take a moment. Come inside before my toes fall off just by looking at yours.” My breath was shaky. “Come inside. Nothing bad happened here, you told me yourself. Come in, think about it. Talk to me, we can brainstorm.”

“Brainstorm?”

“Caleb.” My voice held a note of rebuke to it. “We’re here for this. I’ve been drawing it. I never knew you were listening to it. I know you’ve felt it. I’ve felt it. I’m seeing it right now, the way your thoughts shift. The way you’re constantly on edge?— ”

“Because someone is trying to hurt you!”

“And you’re supposed to be helping me figure out who that is. Not whispering to the dead like a crazy person!”

I knew I lost him the moment my temper slipped out. He took another step back, the shadows forming around him, and I hated it. It was scary and it was so far out of my control all I wanted to do was weep.

“They told me that a shifter heals,” I spoke quietly, to him, to them, I no longer knew. “They told me that you shift into your wolf, and your aches and pains go away. That you heal.” Licking my bottom lip, I watched him, knowing my eyes were filled with tears. “Why aren’t you healing when you shift? Why are you not letting the shift heal your mind?”

“You know nothing,” he seethed, his voice barely more than a growl.

“Maybe,” I answered sadly. “Can you tell me you know any more than I do?” I went back to the front door. “Go and hunt, lose yourself. Let them win, Caleb. Let them beat you.”

I closed the door on him, hearing the snarl of rage and wondering for a moment if he was going to barge through the front door, but nothing happened.

I was almost disappointed.

Looking around, I wondered what the heck to do now. Carefully, I opened the door, seeing the jeans discarded on the ground, and picking them up, I took my backpack inside. Latching the door, I dropped both items and went looking for the source of heat. There was a fireplace, but it was cleared and empty. I didn’t fancy going to look for firewood, and what the hell would I light it with? Caleb had cooked us a rabbit, but the source of the fire might as well have been magicked from his ass for all I knew.

The furniture was covered in sheets, and after removing them, I found a radiator. Testing it, I turned it on, and then bundled under the dust sheets, I sat on the couch and prayed for the generator to work and the heating to come on.

I woke up to the smell of cooking. I was in a bed and so confused and disoriented I was sure I was dreaming. This was not my room, and this was not my home.

Carefully, I got out of bed and tiptoed to the bedroom door. Opening it, I was disappointed and relieved to see a familiar face.

“Doc?”

He turned from the stove and grinned in greeting. “You look like shit.”

“It’s so good to see you!” I almost tripped over my blankets, hurrying into the room. “You got the heating working? Why are you here? Does Caleb know? Oh my God, is that bacon?”

Doc laughed at me. “You need to eat,” he told me, plating up bacon and eggs. “This mountain is stunning, but the store options are lacking,” he said with a wink. “I brought what I could, but it’s a hard hike. Glad I had three full shifters with me.”

“Who?” Sitting down, I happily took the plate from him. “Who came with you?” I started eating, not even waiting. “Does Caleb know?”

“He knows. The shaman said he’d have felt it the moment we stepped onto the packlands.” He answered my unspoken question, “We haven’t seen him.”

“He’s staying away?” I chewed my bacon even though I was no longer hungry.

“Seems to be.”

“What do we do?”

Doc shrugged. “Caleb’s a problem for Luna and the shaman.” He sat down across from me. “You, on the other hand, are my problem.”

“I am?”

“As your physician, I’d say so, wouldn’t you?” He poured me a cup of tea, and I took it enthusiastically. “You climbed this mountain? Are you crazy?”

“I had Caleb with me.”

“And I’ll ask again, are you crazy?”

“He wouldn’t let anything happen to me,” I argued defensively. “He carried me most of the way.”

“And left you to freeze in an abandoned house.”

“He’d have come back.”

“To bury you?”

Sitting back, I gave him a look full of reproach. “He didn’t get worse until he was here.”

“So…it’s true?” Doc asked, leaning forward. “He’s losing himself?”

“I don’t know. He’s not himself.”

“You’ve seen it?” Doc was watching me carefully, and when I nodded, he let out a sigh. “I was hoping you would anchor him.”

“Me?”

His eye roll was almost insulting. “He cares for you, a lot . We thought if anyone would get through to him, it would be you.”

A wild idea popped into my head, and I placed my fork down. “You’re not the reason why my places were broken into, or I was in a car crash?”

“No!” He thought about it. “Well, I am the reason the truck rolled, but I didn’t plan it, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“You knew we were here though?”

“The shaman did. Luna sent a sign that he needed to be here on Shadowridge Peak. He turned up at our main hall and commandeered me, Cannon, and Royce to take him here.”

“Oh.” I resumed eating. “Caleb thinks your pack authority wants him to relinquish his claim on the Peak.”

Doc nodded thoughtfully. “I think it’s safe to say Caleb isn’t himself. His pack was one of the longest, oldest packs in these parts. Luna will want that bloodline continued. The shaman thinks that’s why she was sending visions of him to you.”

“But I’m not a shifter.”

“I know,” Doc agreed. “Still haven’t figured that part out yet.”

“I’m not following,” I admitted. “Who is after me?”

Doc looked at me, a speculative gleam in his eye. “Did he tell you?”

“About the attack and his revenge?” When his head dipped, I nodded. “Yeah, not the bedtime story I needed to hear.”

“There are some of his pack left. It’s very unlikely that any of them would want to harm him, but Cannon is looking into it. ”

Finishing my food, I looked around. “So you’re coming to take me home?” I guessed.

“I came to check on you, make sure your ME wasn’t kicking your ass all over this mountain.” He saw my look and grinned. “And the shaman believes you are pivotal to healing Caleb.”

“Ah, the ulterior motive.”

“Do you think he’s rogue?” The question shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did.

“I think he’s lost,” I answered carefully. “From what I’ve seen, I think he’s worse when he’s here. I know why he left this peak, and selfishly, part of me wished he had never returned.”

Doc rubbed his eyes. “The whole mountain needs purged,” he said with a grim look. “All that death in one place, no wonder he’s losing it.”

“Can the shaman help? Can Cannon?”

Doc sighed, getting to his feet and taking my empty plate. “Caleb needs to want to be helped,” he answered. “According to the shaman, it only works if Caleb wants it to.”

“And how do we convince him he wants to?” I asked skeptically.

Doc turned to me. “I believe that’s where you come in.”