25. Willow

TWENTY-FIVE

Willow

I didn’t sleep right away. I was surprised I slept at all, given what he had confessed to last night. My mind was still reeling from the revelation. No wonder the shaman and others worried for him. How much hate did it take to kill so many?

The first light of dawn was breaking through the trees, casting a pale, almost ethereal glow over the rough terrain of the mountain. The cold air nipped at my nose, and I remembered waking in the night, shivering, until a large, warm, furry body had lain down beside me and shared its body heat. Was I freaked out that the man I had sex with yesterday morning was a wolf when he lay beside me last night? No. Should that feel strange to me? I no longer knew what the definition of the word meant. What I did know was that what Caleb had shared with me the night before, the weight of it still felt heavy in my chest.

I still couldn’t digest most of it. Part of me still wished I was in the dark, that there were still unknowns between us. Having it all laid out bare, I had no idea how to process it all. What I did know was that the certainty I had felt between myself and Caleb was gone. I didn’t know what to do with the information, and I was hesitant to ask myself if it made a difference, because I was scared the answer would be no. What that said about me, I wasn’t sure.

I didn’t have an answer for that either.

Moving my head slightly, I saw him sitting across from me, his gaze fixed on something in the distance, maybe the next trail or maybe, more likely, the memories that he’d finally shared. I did note that he seemed completely at ease. In fact, my eyes narrowed as I observed him. He looked relaxed. Had telling me about his past shed the weight that he carried?

I wanted to be happy that there was no more mystery between us, but now, knowing the truth, how did I go on like nothing had changed? His past was so dark. I understood his need for isolation and solitude. I could never know what it felt like to go through what he did, but would I have reacted the same? I doubted it. Maybe it was the humanity in me that had me stumbling over the damage to his soul. Maybe shifters dealt with it differently because they weren’t fully human.

But they were. Human with just a little more magic in them.

Ugh, what a mess. I may never understand his actions, but I knew one thing, I was tied to him.

I still didn’t know how, or why.

Caleb’s head moved slightly, and I knew that he knew I was awake. “It’s good that you slept.”

“I had a snugglebuddy that kept me cozy.” What the hell was wrong with me?

“Snugglebuddy?” His voice was tinged with amusement, and I nodded as I sat up. “Still freaking out? ”

“I think I will be for a while,” I admitted, brushing the hair off my face, feeling like I was lying because I had accepted this so quickly, and I didn’t know why I did. It felt wrong that I had. “It’s…it’s a lot.”

“I guess it is.”

A part of me wondered why I wasn’t reacting differently. Was I freaking out? I wasn’t sure. I should have been angry, scared, or even overwhelmed by the enormity of what he’d told me, but mostly I felt confused. Confused that I didn’t feel any of those things. I wasn’t even sure if I felt numb. I still had questions. I needed to know why I was connected to him and what the danger was that we could be facing, but I think it was clear he had even less of a clue than I did.

“It’s still you and me,” I reminded him softly, a reminder more for myself than him, I thought.

Caleb nodded, his eyes narrowed in focus as he returned his attention to the mountain. “We will figure this out. No matter what, Willow.”

It was the determination in his voice that I clung to. After everything that happened, the truth was one I couldn’t get away from, and that was that I trusted him. I trusted him to protect me. I trusted him to be by my side until this insanity was over.

Caleb stood, looking as fresh and healthy as much as I was sure I looked drained and spent. “You ready?”

Scrambling out of the sleeping bag, I took his hand as he pulled me to my feet. His grip was strong and steady, and I felt something—familiar, grounding. The same connection from the moment we met, but now, with the intimacy of yesterday and the truth laid out between us, it seemed to be more intense. My blood felt like it was humming under my skin.

Caleb’s eyes flared, deep chocolate turning almost purple, and I blinked several times, sure I had imagined it.

“Yeah, I’m ready, I just need to go to the little girl’s room,” I tried to joke.

After I put my boots back on, he pointed me in the direction he wanted me to use, handing me a pack of tissues, and while I went and took care of business, he tidied up my sleeping bag. When I came back, the all-too-familiar bottle of hand sanitizer waited for me, with my refilled bottle of water and a granola bar.

“Breakfast of champions,” I murmured as I started to chew. When I was done, I used some of my water to rinse my mouth after brushing my teeth.

“Okay, now I’m ready.”

We started at a steady pace, and my body felt rested, which was weird, as I’d been scared of the repercussions of yesterday’s activities. My mind kept going back to Caleb’s fear that he drained me, which maybe he had at one point, but had I become immune to him? To shifters? I never felt drained with Ned or Doc.

“Do you think I got cured of being around shifters?”

Caleb glanced at me, and if he had asked me for more context, I wouldn’t have been surprised. But I think he was accustomed to me now.

“I don’t get drained like you thought you were doing. My ME has been quite good,” I told him as we walked. “In fact, this morning, I feel…energized.” When he didn’t say anything, I was slightly put out. “Hey! Me and the word energized haven’t belonged in the same sentence since I was sixteen. This is a big deal for me.”

That earned me a smile. “Or it could be you ate well yesterday, you have fresh air in your lungs, and you got a decent night’s sleep with no midnight sketches.”

Which was also true. My sketchbook had been packed away with no new drawings in it. “Hermit in the mountains? That’s my future?” I asked him with a grin, then remembered where we were, why we were here, and the fact he had pretty much lived like a hermit. “Or something,” I hastily added.

“Beats murdered in the mountains,” he quipped, and when I stopped short, he kept on walking, despite the fact my mouth was hanging open.

“Too soon!” I mumbled as I hurried to catch up with him.

My legs began to burn as the climb got steeper, but I kept my thoughts to myself. The air was thinner now, and I needed the oxygen for my lungs. Caleb was a step ahead of me, his movements sure and confident, but he checked over his shoulder frequently, making sure I was only a step behind him.

When the wind picked up, cold and biting, I was so grateful for my new coat. The world felt a long way away from us, reminding me how far from safety I was, how far from the familiar. But I’d come so far, and I wasn’t backing down.

I’d decided to stay with Caleb, and I was sticking to it. Sticking to him .

The truth was that whatever our link was, the link knew about his past, even if I did not. I could have run off this mountain after learning what he did, but we would still be connected. No matter what I found at the top of this mountain, I wasn’t turning back .

When we reached a small plateau, Caleb came to a halt, beckoning me forward. As I stood beside him, we looked out over the vast expanse of the world below us. The view was breathtaking, bathed in the early afternoon sunlight, making the autumnal colors more vibrant.

“Oh my,” I breathed as I took it all in. “It’s so beautiful.” Looking down, I noted how far we’d come. “We’ve come so far,” I said, and as I spoke, I knew I meant more than physical distance.

“We have,” he agreed, his voice low and contemplative, and I wondered if he was thinking of the same things I was.

We stood in silence, both looking out, and I felt the comfortableness between us grow. I didn’t want to be the one to break it, and I sensed that neither did he.

Turning away from the view below us, I looked up at the peak, which loomed above us. It was still so vast and imposing, and I wasn’t sure how much further I could go. But as I stood there, in the shadow of it, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. Standing here, knowing how far I had come, I felt like I was back in control. Which was completely contrary to my actual life, as I had zero control over anything that was happening to me, but under the protection of Shadowridge Peak, I felt empowered.

I was choosing to stay. I was choosing to fight. I was choosing to find out why I was tied to Caleb.

When was the last time I had said any of that?

“Whatever waits for me at the top, I’m not scared,” I realized, surprising myself with how true that felt.

Caleb turned to look at me, his eyes searching mine, and I saw the corner of his mouth curl upwards slightly. “You’re stronger than you think you are.”

Holding his gaze, I believed him. “You’ve said that to me before.”

“And I was right then, too.”

“So, tell me, on this peak, are you king of the world?” I teased, trying to push past the ugliness of his words last night. I needed to get back to some form of normal between us, because I had a feeling there was more to come, and I wasn’t mentally prepared for more right now.

“King?” He seemed to mull it over. “No. Alpha?” His look turned possessive and predatory, his smile wicked. “Fucking right, I am.”

My heart rate had picked up, my lady bits had woken up, and my mouth had gone dry. Holy hotness .

“I’m not bowing,” I blurted, knowing he could see how he affected me, and my brain short-circuited as I admired the magnificent specimen that was him.

Caleb stepped into my space, and I refused to move. Dipping his head, his lips skimmed my ear as he spoke softly. “You sure about that?”

Nervous laughter bubbled out of me. Stepping back, I shook my head as I watched him. “Sly and sneaky!” I protested.

His smile was genuine as he chuckled, turning from the view and dropping my pack to the ground. “All predators know exactly how to catch their prey,” he said with a grin.

I could tell it was still kind of forced, but it was lighter than he had been. I needed that, I realized. I needed to see the lightness in him. He was so shrouded by darkness, that I needed to draw him out of its clutches .

Or maybe I was wishful thinking and no amount of trying could wash his hands clean of the blood that stained them.

The heaviness of my thoughts made my own smile fade as I watched Caleb rummage through the pack for food. He moved with a practiced efficiency, every move deliberate like he had done this many times before. When he handed me the food, there seemed to be something more, something subtle and unspoken, as if he was offering me more than simple sustenance.

Was he as keen to keep our connection as I was?

I took the food with a quiet “thanks,” sitting down on the flattest rock I could see. The truth was, we were still learning about each other. There was so much about him that I didn’t know. So much I was scared to learn after last night’s revelation, but I knew I needed to know more. I felt like we had only just scratched the surface. I could feel him watching me out of the corner of his eye, but I didn’t call him on it. I wasn’t ready to answer questions about how I felt. Emotionally? Mentally? I couldn’t answer.

I chewed my piece of beef jerky. I’d protested loudly yesterday about eating it when he bought it, but it beat another granola bar. Between his past, our connection to each other, the danger we were in, or I was in, it all felt like the mountain wasn’t the only thing we needed to climb.

“Do you think we’ll figure it out?” I asked quietly, more to myself than him.

Caleb had been chewing jerky like it personally offended him, and I wanted to change the subject and remind him that he was the one who insisted we buy it. “I do,” he told me, his voice low and steady .

Watching him, I wondered what made him so sure. He had answered so calmly, so sure. He wasn’t rushing to look for an answer. He seemed to have accepted that it would take time. But time felt like a luxury we didn’t have.

Caleb tossed his last bit of jerky aside and packed up my pack once again. “There’s a creek,” he told me. “It’s kind of difficult to get to, so I’ll go and get us fresh water.”

“Oh, I can try to come?”

His look was one of patience as he shook his head. “I’m going to shift to get partway there. This time of year, the Peak likes to start the game of ‘is it stable ground or not?’”

“Your wolf?” I don’t know why that surprised me. If anything, I should be surprised he’d stayed human for so long.

“Yes.”

“Should I turn my back?”

Caleb frowned at me, unsure of the question. “Why would you turn your back on a known predator?”

“I…I thought you had to take your clothes off,” I stammered and was relieved to see him grin.

“I need to go further in first. You can keep your eyes open.” Caleb pointed at the rock I’d been on. “Sit back down and try to rest. We have more to go today before we lose the daylight. It doesn’t get easier anytime soon.”

“Why would it?” I sassed and was rewarded with a wink before he headed into the tree line.

Settling back onto the rock, I decided my butt deserved better, and untying my sleeping bag, I folded it under me.

I was a human woman on a shifter’s mountain, while said shifter went and fetched me water. When did this become my life? Seriously? What did I do to be given this hand ?

For all my bravado and stubbornness, did I really want to be here? Did I want to dive further into this unknown world that was hidden from other humans? There were so many loose threads between us; did I want to keep on pulling at them?

Turning in my seat, I looked up at the imposing peak. “You are uncomfortable, unnecessarily steep, and freaking cold,” I scolded it.

The mountain remained silent, but I grew colder the longer I didn’t move, so as any sensible person would do, I crawled into my sleeping bag. Boots and all.

The visions were waiting for me, as if they had been anticipating me being alone, away from the alpha of the Peak. Scene after scene of death and destruction followed. Not just Caleb exacting his revenge, brutal and bloody, but the Cristone Pack delivering their hate. Tears ran down my face as I saw them fall, one by one, until I was no longer sure who belonged to which pack, and all I knew was the devastating loss.

Loss that Luna wept for.

How did I know that? I looked around me, as my awareness floated through the scenes like one of Caleb’s wraiths that haunted him.

How could he ever come back from this?

Strong fingers cupped my cheek, and I felt the lightest of pressures against my eyelids.

“Wake up, Willow, it’s just a dream.”

Opening my eyes, I looked up at Caleb, seeing his concern as he watched me return to the waking world.

“I fell asleep?”

His smile was gentle, his thumb stroking over my cheek. “Yeah, you fell asleep,” he confirmed softly.

His touching me like this reminded me of how he touched me in the car. Reminding me that the connection between us was as physical as it was spiritual. I didn’t know if that was something I’d already accepted or something I still feared.

“What did you see?” he asked me, and I saw in his eyes that he already knew the answer.

“Death,” I confirmed. “So much death.”

He looked away, but he didn’t stop touching me, and I wasn’t sure who was anchoring who.

“Do you think the answers lie in my packlands?” he asked gruffly.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what waits for us at the top of this mountain, but I know we have to see it through.”

“Agreed.” Caleb stood, stepping back, giving me room to get out of the bag. “You ready?”

Maybe I was. Or maybe I was going to have to learn how to be. Either way, I was going to face whatever waited for us in his home, and I would get some answers.