4. Kezia

When I wassure that Landon was asleep, I cautiously got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom, maneuvering the chain under the door and cursing inwardly when it didn’t fit. I closed the bathroom door as much as I could with such care that it only caused my anxiety to peek. The click of the chain against the wood sounded like a crack of thunder in the quiet of the room, and I held my breath as I waited for Landon to wake and ask me if I was okay.

No, dickhead. I would never be okay again.

Moonstar?

She answered instantly. The silver burns.

Her voice was faint, but it didn’t matter. A relief so intense washed over me, and I slipped down the wall as my knees gave way. Pulling my knees to my chest, I rested against the wall as I fought to control my emotions. All I needed was to start sobbing again.

Child?

I’m here. Licking my lips, I wasn’t sure how to do this. This was one of the first times I had spoken to her knowing she wasn’t just my wolf spirit.

She was just a spirit.

A shudder ran through me, and I pushed that thought aside. I needed to deal with the things I could control. Like Moonstar. Because I was so good at controlling her…

I snorted so loud in the quiet of the night, that I froze once more, terrified that Landon would wake at any moment.

Where have you been?It was a stupid question really and merely highlighted to me how messed up I was. Where had she been? Nowhere. If she could leave me, then I had no doubt she would be gone.

The alpha, his Will is strong. The sleep we enter is deep.

I could hear her resentment. Yeah, she wasn’t a fan of Cannon. They killed him.

I felt her presence a little more, and I braced myself for her joy at my mate’s death.

The alpha? Is dead?

She sounded confused, and despite myself, I felt the tears spill over once more. I couldn’t say it again, so I nodded.

What makes you think he is dead?

It wasn’t what I was expecting, and I was stumped on an answer for a moment. Landon told me that they killed him.

Moonstar was silent, and the more I listened to her silence, the more I realized I knew she was thinking. Had I ever known it this clearly before? I could feel her weighing her words before she spoke.

Why would you believe this?

What?

Why would you think he was dead?

Frowning, I looked inward to where my wolf lay, amber eyes watching me. Because if Cannon were alive, I wouldn’t be here, chained to a wall. And every one of these fuckers would be dead.

The wolf’s head tilted to the side as she considered me. Can you not feel him?

Bitterness swelled within me. You don’t need to hammer it home. You didn’t like him. He’s gone, don’t be cruel.

I think she rolled her eyes at me.

You are older to know better.

Something I hadn’t felt in days surged within me. Hope. Moonstar? Are you saying…? Is he?

Your alpha lives.

I was on my feet so quickly I made myself dizzy. Are you sure?

She gave a huff, resting her head back on her paws. You are mates. If he dies, your agony would be more than a throbbing in the arm, child. That kind of pain would have brought me back a lot sooner.

He was alive? Oh my Luna, he was alive?

I need to get to him!

Moonstar yawned and then jerked her head towards my wrist. Get it off.

I don’t know how. It burns to touch.

I felt her presence even stronger as she lifted my arm to inspect my wrist. No burn marks on the flesh. It only feels like it burns.

Still reeling from the fact Cannon may be alive and the fact that I just felt my body be used by my passenger for the first time, it took me longer than it should have to hear what she said.

What does that mean? It’s not silver?

It is. We feel it binding. It should mark the flesh. You only bleed.

Only?Inspecting my wrist much like Moonstar had done, I saw only redness, some scabbing, but mostly open welts and blood. It hurts.

We have felt worse.

A memory of Cannon shooting me resurfaced. I could see how guilty yet determined he looked as he watched me when I cursed him out for using me as an experiment. Being shot was unlike anything I had ever felt. Wrong. It was unlike anything I remembered. My passenger had felt a lot more.

Can you break it?

We are weak.The wolf stood, shaking her head as she did as if she had just woken up, and from the sound of it, she had. We need to eat. Hunt.

We’re chained to a wall, I reminded her. Bale has cameras everywhere. He is watching me. I thought of Landon. He is watching Landon too.

Moonstar considered me. Had she always looked at me like that? Like I was annoying her?

What is it? I asked.

Which male has the key?

It was an excellent question. One I should have known the answer to. I don’t know.

She gave me a side-eye with such an attitude I genuinely didn’t know how I ever thought she was my wolf. She was so clearly her own person. Was she a person?

Focus.

Startled, I met her heavy gaze.

Now is not the time for these questions.

“Sorry.”

I see how you were tricked, she told me with another huff. You should have called for us.

I did call for you! You didn’t answer.

You called for me? How many times?

Twice.

Only twice, child?

I was ashamed to admit it, but she looked at me with such knowing, I knew she already knew why I had only called for her twice. Cannon had told me his thoughts about the inner spirit who hitchhiked in my body, and in truth, I was scared of her.

Admitting it to myself, I looked up to meet her steady gaze. I don’t want to lose myself.

You are always with me, child.

A sliver of fear trickled down my spine. I didn’t want to be with her, I wanted to be. Just me.

You need us.

I did. I wasn’t strong enough to break free on my own. I wasn’t clever enough to fool Bale. Moonstar had broken free from the cell before. She had almost bested Cannon, and it was only his Will that was able to control her. Bale would not hold that power over her.

I would have given her control there and then, but I remembered being shot. Bale may have no alpha Will, but he had silver. Lots of it, and being captured and held here, I knew he wasn’t afraid to use it either.

He will shoot us with silver.

Moonstar paced in my mind, and once again, I was struck by how blind I had been to the obvious fact that this was no ordinary wolf.

Get us free of this. As soon as we are free, no wolf will be able to catch us.

Her words caused more than a shiver of fear this time. And we go back to Blackridge Peak?

Get us free of the binding, child.

The wolf closed her eyes, and I felt her fade. On shaky feet, I stood in the bathroom, going over everything that she said. I was scared. I knew if I gave Moonstar control, I may never get it back. An hour ago, that would have been doable.

Now?

Now that she had told me that Cannon could still be alive, I had no desire to lose myself. More than ever, I needed out of this place. Studying the cuff on my wrist, I wrapped a towel around my hand and tried to push the cuff over my wrist.

The pain brought me to my knees. Fighting back tears, I pushed again, my mouth opening in a silent scream. Nausea churned in my belly as I gave another shove of the cuff, wincing in new pain as I saw my flesh break open and bleed as I tried to force the band over my hand.

My stomach churned again, and I heaved into the toilet. Gagging, I felt Landon’s cool hands on my shoulders when he swept my hair back.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked, and I heard his genuine concern.

“Yeah.” Straightening, I wiped my mouth on the towel, seeing the bloodstains from my hand and hoping he hadn’t. No such luck.

“Kez!” Landon hissed, grabbing my arm and looking at my bleeding mess of a wrist. “Did you try to take this off?” he whispered furiously.

“Would you be more surprised if I hadn’t?” I snapped, clambering to my feet.

“We’re being watched.” Landon was seething, his words no louder than a murmur, but his fury was so loud he may as well have been shouting.

“I tripped.”

Landon’s scowl matched his temper. “I’m not fucking stupid, and neither is anyone else here.” His look was meaningful, but I was pissed off.

“What do you want from me?” Turning on the faucet, I rinsed my mouth and tried to clean up my wrist. He was right to be freaked out; there was no hiding what I had tried to do. With the silver slowing my healing process, there was no way this would escape Bale’s notice.

“I want you to remember what the fuck we’re trying to do,” he hissed in my ear. Throwing his hands in the air, he spoke louder. “I want you to be my mate. Like we thought we would be.” Seeing my skeptical scowl, he made a carry-on gesture, and I knew he was telling me to go with it. “I thought you wanted this as much as I did. We spoke about it enough when we were younger.”

Bullshit.

Swallowing my temper, I tried to relieve the tension in my shoulders by rolling my head from side to side as I forced myself to pretend his lies were real. “We were children.”

Landon let out a relieved sigh, quickly masking it to sound like exasperation. “Children? We were seventeen.”

I almost told him I was four years older than him, but I didn’t want Bale to know I knew his murderous secret. “A lot changed.” Passing him, I dragged my chain behind me, sitting in the seat across from the bed.

“Did it?”

Holding up my wrist, I gave him a mocking look. “Well, you never used to cuff me to walls, so I’m saying, yeah, it did.”

“I thought you wouldn’t mind a little light bondage.” Landon’s smirk was wicked—and so achingly familiar to how we used to be, it hit me like a blow.

Pointing at the cuff, I leveled him with a flat glare. “I’m all explored out.”

“You need to behave,” he scolded with an easy smile, lying back down on the bed. “Trying to take the cuff off gives the wrong signal, know what I mean?”

“How can I be your mate if you want to keep me cuffed to the wall?” Tilting my head, I ignored the camera in the corner. “Mates mean trust. Any relationship is built on trust.”

“We’ll get there,” he said with confidence. I watched him as he settled into a comfier position, his hands resting behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. “You need more time.”

“I do? Or you do?”

Turning to look at me, Landon watched me with a seriousness I didn’t expect. “Maybe we both do?” he admitted. “Things aren’t how I thought they would be. We both need to adapt to the new ways.”

Picking at a scab on my wrist, I kept my eyes lowered as I spoke. “You never knew any of this?” I gestured to the room. “You didn’t know about this place?”

“No. I wasn’t ready.” His voice was soft, gentle, like he was confiding in a friend. “Dad’s been so smart, keeping this a secret. It’s impressive.”

The secret? Silver? Or the hidden bunker full of soldiers?

“Kind of scary.” Lifting my head, I spoke clearly. “I don’t understand why it has to be hidden. We have security at the pack. Why do we need this?”

Landon’s cheeks puffed out before he expelled a loud breath. “I could tell you, but then I’d need to kill you.”

With a huff, I returned to picking at my scab. I heard him move on the bed, and then his hands were pulling mine from my wrist.

“I’ll tell you everything you need to ever know,” he promised as he led me to the bed, “soon.”

“Tell me one thing?” I asked as I got onto the bed and only resisted slightly when he tugged me into his body.

“About eight inches.”

It took a moment before I realized what he meant, and then despite myself, I smiled, my elbow digging into his ribs. “Don’t be a dick.”

Landon laughed loudly, turning me in his arms and curling around me, which seemed to be his favorite position. “Good to see you laughing, babe.”

My smile dimmed in the semi-darkness of the room. “Not had much to laugh about.”

I felt him playing with the ends of my hair. “I’ll change that. Soon.”

“You keep saying soon—how soon?”

“When you stop trying to hack your hand off trying to remove the cuff,” he snapped angrily, and I hoped he was once more playing for the camera.

We lay in silence for a few minutes before I spoke again. “Can I ask my question?”

“Sure.” His dramatic sigh almost made me smile again.

“Who killed Cannon?”

Landon’s body went still behind me. I think he may have stopped breathing. “You don’t need to know.”

“Maybe not,” I told him while screaming internally that I absolutely did deserve to know. “I want to know.”

“You won’t like the answer.”

Half turning in the bed to look at him over my shoulder, I hoped he could see my glare. “Tell me.”

Landon sighed as he turned away, and I almost pulled him back to look at me until his words caused my heart to stop.

“Who killed the alpha?” Landon asked, his voice low and uneven. “You did.”