29. Kezia

I’d been floatingfor a very long time.

It wasn’t even peaceful floating. It was like the feeling of being suspended but not dropping. When I was younger, Kris used to carry me in his mouth, and this was the same. I was weightless but felt as if I was in the maw of something much bigger than me.

The pain had stopped, and at first, I thought I had died. But I was too aware to be dead, and after floating endlessly for days, I decided I was too stubborn to die.

Cannon would be so pissed if I died.

Cannon was going to be pissed at me no matter what.

I remembered his fury. I remembered I deserved it.

I remembered the pain.

Above all, I remembered the pain.

It had been everywhere. Burning through my body, eviscerating me with its intensity.

Then pressure, immense pressure that made me think my skull was going to crack, squeezed me relentlessly. My bones had felt shattered under the weight of it, and I had screamed for it to stop.

Then it did.

And I was floating.

And now it was nothing.

Sometimes, there was a flash of light. A noise. They made me jump. I’d never been scared really as a child, but flashes of noise and light now had me jumping like a ninny. Kris would laugh at me.

Kris.

My brother hurt me.

No…my brother would never. But the pressure? I felt him when the horrible pressure was there.

Sadness slipped over me like a blanket.

Had I died? If this was the afterlife, I wanted a refund.

I rolled through nothing as I thought about my life.

Everything that had happened to me in my life had been because of Bale.

He killed my parents.

He took us into his pack and forbade me to shift, treating me like a leper, so his pack did too.

He operated illegal fighting rings, sending killers after me when he learned I was fighting in them.

I paused. Had he? Maybe not. But he had always known where I was.

He kept me from my mate.

He gave the order to kill my mate.

He kept me chained to a wall with silver and hurt me.

He was the reason Cannon fought for justice.

Bale was dead. I’d seen Cannon rip his throat out. It shouldn’t have filled me with as much satisfaction as it did.

I moved through nothing some more.

Cannon.

I wanted my mate.

I missed him.

Would he forgive me?

Where was he?

Why couldn’t he find me?

Where was I?

The panicked feelings eased as I floated.

I jerked in alarm when the bright light snapped into the darkness and was just as quickly gone.

Turning fearfully, I searched the inky blackness.

Who was there?

Where was I? Moonstar?

“Kezia? Sweetheart? Can you hear me?”

That voice was familiar. My heart beat faster in my chest. Darkness shrouded me still, but that voice…I knew it.

“Kez? Wake up, little sister.”

A rush of familiar warmth seeped through me. I knew this voice too.

A touch so light caressed my cheek. Was it my cheek? I felt weightless still. But the touch, I knew that too.

“Breathe, pup, breathe deeply.”

I did. I inhaled until I couldn’t hold any more air in my lungs, and I heard a whisper of she’s doing it, and I exhaled a long drawn-out breath.

I lay on something soft but firm. I could feel it. I was lying down.

“Kezia? Open your eyes.”

I wanted to open my eyes, I wanted to see the ones that belonged to these voices, ones that I knew. Light burned my eyes when I tried to open them, so bright that I shut them again.

“I know it’s bright, Kezia, but you can do it.”

They had such faith in me. I wanted to see who believed in me so much. It shouldn’t even be hard to open my eyes. They were mine after all.

“Kezia, I’m waiting, I’ve been waiting, open your eyes.”

Him. I knew him.

“Cannon?” My voice was drier than leather left in the sun. I knew what leather in the sun felt like. I opened my eyes. Green, so deep, like the forest, stared down at me. “Cannon.”

He lifted me off the bed almost into his lap, cradling me in his arms, his head burrowed in my neck, and my alpha sobbed. I was crying too. I clung to him as he held me, my head turning, my lips searching for his. He kissed me and I felt my body strain to get closer to him.

He pulled away from me, and I saw others. My brother, the shaman and?—

“Barbara?” I focused on the small, demure woman, settling back onto the bed, my alpha still holding me. “What the fuck did you do to me?”

Kris swooped down, hugging me tightly, even though Cannon wasn’t letting me go.

“Never, I mean never do that to me again,” my brother scolded. “I should ground you.”

It felt vaguely familiar. “You can’t ground me, I’m mated.” Looking to the side, I checked Cannon was still there. He was, and I reached for him once more. His lips pressed to mine, and I welcomed the kiss. I leaned back into him as I searched the familiar faces.

“How do you feel?”

I looked at the shaman. “Surreal. What happened to me?” Again, I fixed on Barbara. “You did something to me.”

“I saved you.”

Cannon scoffed so loudly that it reverberated through me. “Kris and I saved her,” he said with barely concealed contempt. “You stole her.”

“Where have I been?” I demanded, pushing myself up the bed, taking advantage of the fact I could snuggle in against Cannon more. Trying not to be obvious about it. I felt his contented sigh, and I knew I was busted. I also knew I didn’t care.

“It’s quite a complicated story,” the shaman told me carefully.

“Okay…I can keep up.”

By the time they finished telling me, I wasn’t sure whether to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it or get down on my knees and thank Luna over and over.

“I was a rabbit?”

“Your spirit was housed in a rabbit,” Barbara explained once again. “I needed a vessel just in case. The signs were so ominous for you, Kezia, I had to be prepared.”

“A rabbit?” I glanced at Kris, who was tight-lipped and trying to mask his anger. “I’m a wolf. Why wouldn’t you put my wolf spirit in a wolf?”

“Why did you need to be put anywhere?” Cannon grumbled.

“I interpret the signs of the Goddess,” Barbara explained once more. “This was the right thing to do.”

I wasn’t convinced. “That was a really ugly rabbit.” Cannon tried not to laugh, but I was a wolf; I hunted rabbits.

“You’re back now,” the shaman declared, attempting to be diplomatic. “Your friend the doctor is coming to check on you.”

“Why?” I twisted in the bed, my elbow digging into Cannon’s ribs.

“Oof, what are you doing?” he asked me as I tried to look at my butt.

“Do I have a fluffy tail?”

“Kezia!” Barbara snapped, finally losing her patience. “Your body is the same. You have some added scars, but you were injured very badly. Your spirit was in a vessel of the Goddess. You are not a rabbit.”

I eyed her suspiciously. “Cannon, check me over.”

“Oh, I plan to.”

My body heated with anticipation as we shared a loaded look. Kris cleared his throat loudly, and my cheeks burned as I remembered there were others in the room.

“Is Cass okay?”

Kris nodded. “She’s good. The pregnancy is treating her well.”

Reaching out, I grabbed his hand. “Good. And Landon?” Three grown males avoided my eyes. My eyes narrowed as I looked between them. “What have you done to him?”

“He’s resting,” Cannon said with so much contempt I turned to look at him in question. “He’s a big, fat faker.”

I laughed. “He’s okay then?”

“More’s the pity,” Kris grumbled.

I switched my attention back to Barbara. “A rabbit?”

She sighed and looked at us all with such profound disappointment I felt guilty. “None of you have asked the most important question.”

“The tail?” I asked with dread.

“Moonstar,” Kris said at the same time.

“She’s gone,” Barbara said smugly.

I searched my inner self, my wolf spirit was there, but otherwise…I was empty. “Where?”

Barbara clasped her hands in her lap as she spoke. “The spirit was sent to protect your mother, not possess you. It took time, a lot of energy, but I coerced the spirit out of you.”

We sat in silence for a long time before I had to ask. “Is she now the rabbit?”

Barbara stood fluidly. “When you’re over the fixation with the rabbit, come see me.”

She left us and I grinned at Cannon and Kris. “I think she thinks I’m ungrateful.” Pulling Cannon’s arm around me tighter, I settled back. “Tell me everything, again.”

I grew tired quicker than I liked, but the three of them insisted I sleep, even though I’d been sleeping for a month. As the bedroom door closed behind Kris and the shaman, Cannon promised me more visitors the next day. He climbed under the covers with me, wrapping me in his arms.

“Why haven’t the Pack Council come?” I asked him tiredly.

“I don’t know,” he said into my hair as he pulled me closer. “It worries me too.”

“We’ll deal with it when they do come.” I linked our fingers together. “I’m so sorry I broke your trust.”

“As Kris said, never put me through this again, and we’ll call it even.”

Turning my face up to his, I searched his eyes for any lingering doubt. “I will never. I’m truly sorry.”

After dropping a kiss on my nose, he sighed in contentment. “I know.”

We lay holding each other as the night darkened. It felt so strange to be back in my body but also right. It was my body and it should feel right to be here. My mind went over all the things I had learned since waking. So much had happened in my absence, but still so much had to happen.

“I can hear the wheels turning,” Cannon teased as his lips skimmed my ear.

“We have so much work to do,” I told him.

“We do.” His hand glided over my arm. “How do you feel?”

“Sleepy.”

“Go to sleep, sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart,” I mused, “I never liked terms of endearment like babe or baby, but since the mating bond, I have to admit, I like it. I like when you call me sweetheart.” His body stilled beside me so suddenly I turned to face him. “What is it?”

“Barbara…” He cleared his throat. “The druid isn’t sure, but she thinks the bond may be broken.”

I sat bolt upright in bed, my hands reaching for his collarbone, demanding he put on a light so I could see. The mark, the mating mark, was so faded that I could hardly see it.

“Cannon!”

Large hands clasped mine, bringing them to his lips as he kissed my knuckles. “It’s okay,” he soothed me. “I love you with or without the bond.”

Pushing off him, I shook my head. “No! I am your mate! Your bonded mate!” Tears spilled and Cannon pulled me into his body.

“Kezia, it’s okay, we can test the bond when you’re stronger, and if it’s broken, we’ll be fine.”

“What if we aren’t?” Scrambling over his body, I pulled my shirt off. “We need to have sex, now.”

Cannon pulled me close once more. “Kezia, you just woke up after a month in a dreamless state of limbo. You need your strength. This is something we don’t need to fix right now. Rest.”

“The bond’s definitely broken,” I told him flatly. “I’m half-naked on top of you, and you want me to sleep.”

Cannon tugged me down towards him, and the kiss he gave me was so thorough, so hot, I was panting by the end. “I will always want you,” he whispered against my lips. “But I need you to sleep.”

A wave of exhaustion washed over me. “Fine, but you better screw me into next week tomorrow.”

His low laughter caused me to smile in the darkness. “My mate…the sex addict.”

“You know it.”

I drifted off to sleep in his arms, worry gnawing at my gut that my bond to my mate was gone.