21. Cannon

My pack wasone to be proud of. I knew it, and I knew I probably shouldn’t be as boastful about it, but they were my pack.

Mine.

Not the leftovers of my father’s pack, but wolves that belonged to this pack who were strong and had a sense of justice. Luna knows they had seen too much injustice in my father’s days.

I walked among them with pride, and I saw that pride reflected back at me. It was an honor to be their alpha, and I knew I would spend every day of my life making sure I was the best alpha I could be.

Which is why the white-haired firecracker in front of me was causing me heartburn. Kezia was ignoring me.

It had been three or four hours since the meeting with the pack, and for reasons only my mate could tell me, she had hitched onto Ned and was following him around as he got ready to fight.

She was so obvious it was painful.

After catching a few knowing looks from Willy and Vic, I decided that enough was enough.

“Kezia?” I called out as I approached and watched her pretend not to hear me. “Kezia, you’re fooling no one.”

Bright blue eyes glanced my way before she stubbornly turned her back on me. Ned looked my way and turned his head quickly but not before I saw his shit-eating grin.

“Ned?” He turned back to me, and I saw the amusement in his eyes and fought the urge to grab her and throw her over my shoulder. “Can you give me a minute with her?”

“Sure thing.”

I ignored his laughter as he walked away. Kezia was folding blankets, badly, that were to be put into packs.

“You’ve never folded a blanket in your life, have you?” Taking the blanket off her, I redid it, making it a tight, military square. “Did you see what I did there?”

“I’m not talking to you.”

I snorted. No shit, babe. “I got that.” I tried to keep my voice reasonable. “Do you need me to show you again how to fold these so they take less room in a pack?”

She nodded once and I hid my grin. Stubborn she may be, but she was always willing to be taught. “You take this corner here.” I demonstrated slowly. “Then this one.” I took the opposite corner diagonally across from it. “You then take this corner and fold it like this, see?” She nodded once more, stepping closer to watch. “Then go back to this corner and bring it to meet this one.” I held up the corner I meant. “Place them together and then bring this corner over, and…” The blanket folded in on itself. “See?”

“Again.”

I repeated the demonstration with another two blankets before she tried it herself and then shook that out and did it again. When she had it, the two of us folded blankets in silence.

“How long before you think you’ll speak to me?” I asked as we neared the end of the blanket pile.

Silence.

“I thought you were very brave to be so open to the pack earlier.” I didn’t look at her as I spoke, but I felt her interest as she pretended I wasn’t there. “No one can ever doubt your bravery, Kezia. But you are my mate. He’s targeted you before, and I won’t let the fucker get you again.”

“It’s not your decision.”

“Yes, it is.” I packed the last blanket. “And if you’re hurt or in danger, then we have a whole other threat to face, and I can’t fight two wars at once, Kezia. Tell me you understand that?” Her hands stilled and I saw her turn her head away. “Kezia?”

“Why don’t you call me Zia?”

It was such an unexpected turn that I didn’t have an immediate answer. “What?”

“I prefer Zia.”

“I don’t.”

“Why?” she challenged me.

She always challenged me. “Zia is the shifter who fights in human rings, defies pack laws, and unfairly battles weaker opponents. I don’t like Zia. Zia cheats.”

“Wow. Say what you really think,” she muttered.

“If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question,” I snapped back at her. “Why are you even asking me this?”

“I like Zia.”

“Your parents named you Kezia. The woman I know…” I hesitated. “The Kezia I know is strong and courageous.” I ran my eyes over my mate’s body. “Zia is a fraud, Kezia is real.”

“My brother calls me Kez.”

“He’s your brother; he’s allowed to call you anything he wants.”

“Of course, there would be a different rule for Kris.” She blew hair out of her face in exasperation, and I tugged her towards me.

“Okay, this is stupid. What are you really asking me, Kezia?”

“Why does he get to go, but I can’t?”

“I explained this. There will be pack left behind, they need someone to lead them just as much as the pack that goes with me.” I saw her eyes narrow. “Plus, Kris isn’t carrying around an uncontrolled spirit who is trying to take over his body.”

The very fact that she rolled her eyes at me when I said that made me love her more. Insolent and challenging. Life was never going to be dull with my mate in it.

“I can control her.”

“You gave yourself over to her.” I started stacking the packs. “I don’t think she is going to be too amused you rescinded on that when she comes forward next time.” Side-eyeing her, I tried to remain casual. “Have you felt her presence?” Kezia shook her head, avoiding eye contact. “Do I need to ask again, Kezia?”

“She’s dormant.”

“You sure?”

“Yes!” Finally, eye contact. “I don’t lie to you all the time.”

“Just some of the time?” My mate stuck her tongue out at me, and I laughed despite her nonsense. “You drive me crazy.”

“Good, you deserve it.” She feigned a scowl, but the corner of her mouth was already tugging upwards in a smirk.

“Do you understand why you can’t come?”

Kezia sighed. “I do…”

“But?” I repressed my own sigh as I waited for her reasoning.

“But I think I’m in more danger of her coming out when you aren’t here.”

The lightness I’d been feeling slipped away like oil on water. “What do you mean?”

Piling her hair on her head, Kezia looked at me and shrugged. “Being with you, near you, I don’t feel her. My wolf and I are content, but when you aren’t here, I don’t know…before when you were gone, she would feel more present.”

Frowning, I scanned the crowd for Doc. No, not Doc, he had fucked up. I would forgive him—I basically already had—but I didn’t want him near Kezia with this. “Come on, we need the shaman.” I took her arm and started walking.

“We do?”

“You think we don’t?” I asked over my shoulder, and seeing her agreement, I hurried us through the crowd.

I met Royce near the front door, and he looked at us both with concern. “What is it now?”

Kezia and I exchanged a sheepish look. “I didn’t know we had a now,” I tried to tease, but it sounded more petulant than I would have liked.

“Well, neither did I, but it’s a thing.” He folded his arms across his chest as he looked between us. “Out with it.”

“I need to go see the shaman, that’s all.”

Royce looked at Kezia with concern. “She back?”

“Not yet.”

He looked relieved and I saw Kezia straighten as she noticed his reaction too. Her eye caught mine and I saw her reluctant acceptance of what I had been trying to tell her. “I saw him earlier with Kris’s mate.”

“Cass,” Kezia said with a scowl of disapproval. “Her name is Cass.”

Royce wasn’t in the least bit ruffled. “Yeah, well, until she proves she’s as loyal as the rest, she can stay a stranger.”

Reaching back, I took hold of Kezia’s hand. “Come on, you can fight this battle another day,” I murmured as we headed out of the hall. “You got this?” I asked Royce over my shoulder.

“Always.”

It felt good to know my beta was so reliable. I’d already seen Nikan organizing one group of shifters. I was a lucky alpha to have such a loyal pack.

“Where’s Kris?” Kezia asked as we walked the empty streets.

“Last I saw of him, Leo was learning the layout of the Anterrio Pack.”

“Learning? Or interrogating?” Kezia asked dryly.

“Never quite sure with Leo,” I told her with a grin. “Can’t fault his enthusiasm.”

She didn’t say anything as we walked to my house, and under any other circumstances, it would have been a pleasant evening.

“Do you think we will win?” Kezia watched me expectantly.

“I don’t think we’ll lose.”

“Is that not winning?”

“Fighting pack against pack is never winning. There’s enough shit in the world without shifter against shifter.”

As we reached the front yard, Kezia pulled at my hand, bringing me to a sudden stop. “That’s exactly what makes you a good alpha,” she told me quietly. “It’s why I fell in love with you.”

Bending down, I kissed my mate slowly. As I pulled back, I looked her deep in the eyes and smiled. “Nice try, mate, but you’re still not coming with me.”

Kezia growled as she pushed me away, storming into the house ahead of me, leaving me laughing behind her.

I found her in the kitchen. The shaman was there, with a whole lot of herbs and things I didn’t recognize spread out in front of him.

“Alpha Cannon,” he greeted, completely at ease as my mate hugged him as she passed.

“Shaman.” I tried to remember my studies, but having never had a shaman in the pack, I hadn’t paid too much attention to herbs. “Do I want to know what you’re making?” I did remember that sometimes it was better not to ask.

“A drink for Cassandra,” he said happily. “Some herbs for my Kezia.” Reaching out, he patted her hand. “A few tricks for your pack to hide their scent in the coming days.”

“Scent erasers?” I leaned forward eagerly. “They work?”

The old shifter chuckled. “Of course they work; why do you think Kris asked me to make them?”

Kezia looked at me smugly. “My brother is sneaky,” she reminded me.

“Like his sister,” I teased back.

“But you’re not here for sneaky,” the shaman said soberly. “Are you?”

I felt my own smile fade, and I shook my head. “No. We need to know about Moonstar.”

The shaman put his herbs down and sat quietly. “The Goddess has shared nothing with me,” he told us softly.

“Do you need a sacrifice?” Kezia asked him, leaning forward and taking hold of his hand. “Deer? Rabbit?”

“I do like rabbits,” the shaman said with a wry smile. “But no, a sacrifice won’t work this time. The Goddess is quiet. It’s not the right time to ask.”

“When is the right time?” I didn’t mean to sound sharp and I saw Kezia’s eyes widen in warning, but I shrugged it off.

“The Goddess does not answer at our beck and call,” the shaman chided. “I am her vessel on earth. I’m not the one who rules; I am only a messenger.”

“Can you send a message to her? Ask her for help?”

“Cannon!” Kezia scolding me for being inappropriate was new.

“What? We need to know this. We are going into a fight with a pack that is ruthless and dangerous. I can’t take you with me in case you get hurt—or worse, captured—and you tell me that I can’t leave you behind in case your passenger hijacks your body. Some help from the Goddess would be appreciated.”

“She stirs within you?” the shaman asked Kezia.

Shooting me a glare, my mate turned to the shaman. “No, she has been quiet since we completed the mate bond. But…” She sighed loudly. “She has always been more dominant when Cannon isn’t near me.”

The shaman frowned as he thought about what she had said. “Hmm, the alpha’s Will is strong.”

“Not strong enough to get rid of her,” I muttered.

“You will never have that power,” the shaman told me sagely. “The spirit chose the wolf, not the other way around. Moonstar will need to want to leave. Kezia is much like myself in that regard; she is a vessel for the spirit of another.”

“I don’t want to be.”

The shaman chuckled lowly. “No, I imagine you don’t, but she has saved you more times than harmed you, child, remember that.”

Kezia slid off her stool and walked to the fridge, grabbing herself a bottle of water and one for me. “I do remember,” she said as she put the water back, taking a beer instead, and handing it over to me. “I also remember the months I lost because of her help. I sound ungrateful, I do, but it’s my body. Not hers.” Opening her water, she took a sip. “It’s possible that I could have survived without her.” Avoiding looking at either of us, she tried to act indifferent. “Women survive attacks every day and can be stronger for it. Maybe I make myself weak by calling on her for aid.”

“Maybe I’ve never heard such bullshit in my life,” I told her.

“I can fight. I should have fought harder, and I didn’t.”

“You didn’t fight harder because of Moonstar. You couldn’t fight harder because you were weak and overpowered,” I snapped at her. “The humans beat you and shot you with silver, Bale beat you and weakened you with silver, and the only way you survived that was because of Moonstar.”

“You’re the one who wants her out of me!”

“Of course I do!” I yelled in exasperation. “She no longer wants to be with you, she wants your body, and I refuse to let my mate go no matter how grateful I am to the one who has saved her over and over. You are my mate, not her. I will not lose you, Kezia.”

Her eyes were swimming in tears, yet she didn’t break my stare. “What if you have no choice?”

“I don’t accept that.” I looked over at the shaman. “I will never accept that. There is always a choice.”

The shaman rolled a flower bud between his thumb and forefinger. “You sound like you do not want to destroy her, Alpha.”

Blinking back my anger, I shook my head. “Destroy her? No, I owe my mate’s life to her.” Throwing my hands in the air in frustration, I barked out a laugh. “Mine too. I just want her somewhere that isn’t inside Kezia.”

The shaman tutted and I worried I had said the wrong thing until he spoke. “Keep her spirit but put her somewhere else? Is that what you are suggesting?”

“Yes?” Was I? The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was. “Yes. Can you do that?”

The shaman laughed. “You ask it like it is as simple as plucking a dead leaf from a branch.” He crushed the bud between his fingers. “However, replacing the vessel may be easier than eradicating the spirit completely.”

“I don’t want her to be eradicated,” Kezia spoke up. “She’s only ever been my ally.” She walked across the kitchen to stand with me. “I want her gone but not gone forever.” Kezia slipped her hand into mine. “I want her to be free.”

“I’ll need a rabbit.”

Kezia was already nodding, kicking off her shoes. “Dead or alive?”

“What’s going on?” I asked as my mate pulled her jeans off.

“The shaman needs a rabbit.”

As I looked between the two of them, the complete bizarreness of the whole thing struck me, and I started to laugh. I laughed so hard I cried.

“What is wrong with your mate?” the shaman asked Kezia.

“I think he’s freaked out,” she told him thoughtfully. “The bond feels…confused.” I saw her shrug. “I don’t think he was expecting the sacrifice to be real.”

Being talked about like I wasn’t in the same room as them made me laugh more.

“Fix him,” she said.

“He isn’t broken, pup.” The shaman continued to make his potions. He spilled some herbs into a cup of water and then handed it to Kezia. “Make him drink this.”

I downed the concoction without even asking what it was. My laughter disappeared as my mouth swallowed the pungent potion.

“What was that?” I gasped, downing my beer to get rid of the foul taste.

“Nothing but a horrible drink of water,” the shaman told me smugly. He handed another drink to Kezia. “You need to drink this.”

“Why?” She was still half-dressed, but she took the drink.

“I seek a white rabbit with red eyes. This will help you find it.” I watched as she drank the potion in one go, my protest dying on my tongue. “Alpha Cannon, she should not go alone.”

For the first time, I wanted to snap at the old shifter. “She was never going alone.”

“Just checking.” He smiled serenely, and I wasn’t sure if he was teasing me or not.

Cass walked into the kitchen, eyeing me with distrust. “Alpha. Kezia.” She leaned against the counter, watching the shaman. “Is my drink ready?”

The shaman had lost his easy laid-back way and pushed a packet of herbs over to the young female.

“It’s not mixed?”

“Two spoonful’s in a half cup of water,” he told her.

Cass sighed dramatically, and I saw Kezia dip her head to hide her frown. “You couldn’t make this for me?”

“You can’t make it yourself?” I asked, ignoring the jab in my ribs from my mate.

Cass looked flustered. “Well, the shaman’s here; he’s the shaman.”

“I’m aware of who he is.”

“The shaman makes the potions.” Cass looked at Kezia for support, but my mate was suddenly very interested in her nails. “Kezia?”

“Mm-hmm?” Kezia looked up. “Just add it to water yourself, it’s no big deal.”

“But…”

As I watched the pampered and spoiled girl in front of me flounder, I worried if Kezia and I looked as alien to others, because the concept of Cass and Kris being mates was alien to me. Kris was blunt and straightforward, and this girl was everything but that.

“White with red eyes?” Kezia asked the shaman, who nodded, while Cass made her potion. Kezia tugged my hand. “Come on.”

In my boot room, Kezia rose to kiss me. “We fit.”

Blinking in surprise, I didn’t hide my confusion. “What?”

“I can feel you, through the bond,” she told me, pulling off her shirt. “We fit perfectly. I promise.” Turning her back to me, she took off her bra. Looking over her shoulder, her back bare and her hair spilling loosely over her shoulder, she watched me drink her in. Kezia winked at me. “You ready to hunt?”

Stupid question. She already knew the answer.

Because we fit.

Perfectly.