15. Kezia

The journeyback to the Blackridge Peak packlands was quicker than I thought. Royce hadn’t been exaggerating when he said we weren’t far, and the thought of anyone having come across us made me squirm with embarrassment.

We walked back, neither of us willing to admit out loud the threat of Moonstar, although since forming the bond, I felt different. More secure. Which was weird, as I had always been somewhat confident. Even in the Anterrio Pack where most of them treated me like I was an outsider, it had never made me feel insecure about who I was. It was probably because of them that I had a thick skin.

But now, I knew I was different. It may have been the Cannon effect; he oozed confidence and perhaps, with the bond completed, that was coming through our connection to me.

“I can feel you thinking,” he said, and when I looked up at him, he was smiling.

“I feel different.”

“Yup.”

“You too?” I watched him with curiosity. There was something about him that waschanged. “You look weird.”

“Your charm, as always, leaves me speechless.” He was still smiling, so I knew he wasn’t offended. “How do I look weird?”

Good question. He was smiling, but he smiled before. He looked sure about himself—no change there, really—he was always an arrogant dick. He looked good, well…when did he not? “I don’t know, you just look…”

“Happy?”

My mouth opened and I shut it again. “Are you happy?”

Cannon looked down at me. Reaching out, he took my hand and interlinked our fingers. “Aren’t you?”

“Um…” Yes, I felt content. He was here beside me, and we’d accepted the bond, and I felt…good. No, not good, great. I realized my cheeks were sore from smiling. “Oh Luna, I’m going to be an idiot like Kris and Cass are.”

Cannon laughed loudly in the quiet of the night. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you.” He was far too amused for me to believe him.

“I’m not a hearts and flowers person.”

“You shock me.”

“Will you be serious?”

His smile faded and he wore the stoic expression I was used to seeing from him. “You regret it already?”

“No!” My quick answer pleased him, and he looked all smug and conquering again. I elbowed him in the ribs. “You don’t need to look so smug.”

“I can’t help it,” Cannon admitted sheepishly. “I just feel good about…everything.” His sudden frown matched my own from a moment ago. “I’m also not a hearts and flowers person. You’re right, this will become annoying.”

“Maybe it fades?”

Cannon shrugged and we walked on in silence together, both pretending that nothing had changed when everything had changed.

“Okay, this is stupid.”

The corner of his mouth tugged upwards. “Agreed.”

“So maybe we just have to accept we may be hearts and flowers people.”

“How about I promise to never give you flowers?”

“Well, I mean, it’s not like I have anything against flowers…”

Cannon was laughing under his breath, which earned him another dig in the ribs. “I suggest we take it each day at a time and see how we go. Thoughts?”

“One day at a time sounds good.” His fingers squeezed mine, and I was glad that neither of us had mentioned the whole hand-holding thing. Which felt completely natural, and I wasn’t a hypocrite at all.

“I need you to give me a full debrief when we’re back. Are you ready for that?” He was staring straight ahead, but I could feel the tension in him. “I need more than the jumbled mess you shared in the car.” He pulled me closer. “You need to tell me it all.”

“You’re not going to like it.” Taking a deep breath, I tried to loosen my fingers, but he held onto them. “You want to hear it first?”

“I do, but only because I don’t want you to have to tell it twice and cause unnecessary upset.”

“I’m not fragile.” I turned my head so he couldn’t see me. “I already told you before, you know, what happened.”

Cannon huffed out a laugh. “I never said you were fragile.” He tugged playfully at my hair. “But while I don’t want to hear what happened to you, I need to hear it once more. I need to be able to ask questions and not the word vomit you gave earlier when you were upset.” He saw my look and pulled me closer. “Which was understandable, but I need to hear it again, slower. Once for me, and I can tell the others if you need.”

“I can tell it twice if you want.” This time when I tugged at my fingers, he let me go. “But you’re right, I think you may be better off hearing it properly first.”

Cannon’s frown deepened, his eyes darkening. “Why?”

“Because I know you won’t like it, and you’re going to overreact, and it’s bad for you to do that in front of the others, and…” I blew out a breath. “Let’s just do it.”

“Do you want to stop?”

“Nope.” Shaking my head, I looked towards the town where the houses were within sight but still slightly hidden from the way we were approaching, and the feeling of returning home was strong. “We’re almost home and I’m eager to be there.”

A hand on my upper arm pulled me to a stop. Cannon turned me into him, and his finger under my chin tilted my head back to meet his gaze. “Home?”

“Yes.” My voice was confident, sure. I no longer had doubts—they were my pack. They’d been my pack the first night in the food hall, and I was desperate to return to them. “They’re my pack.”

His smile was breathtaking. “It sounds good, hearing you say that.”

“Feels good saying it.” Rising on tiptoes, I kissed him softly. “Hold onto that feeling of happiness; you aren’t going to like what I tell you next.” We resumed walking and I spoke with a low voice. “I went to Landon, as you know.” I ignored his scowl; it was only going to get worse. “Landon told me he knew what had happened to my mom and dad and he could help me find the ones responsible.”

Cannon was trying hard to keep his face clear of emotion, but I saw his jaw clench. “And you believed him?”

“Not really,” I admitted. “But he told me that Bale knew how to break the mate bond, and I needed to stop that. He also told me that Bale planned to kill Kris, but we could stop it, but I had to renounce you and the bond and marry him instead. If I did, then Kris would be safe.” I ignored the angry vibes coming from Cannon as we walked. “I know it means little now, but before I even got there, I knew I should have told you what I was doing. But it was too late.” Glancing at him, hearing his scoff, I forged ahead. “Tev was involved.”

“With your decision to leave?”

“I was in your room, I knew what Landon wanted me to do, and I sat in your chair, thinking through my options?—”

“So you did think and still chose to believe not telling me was the best choice?”

“Just let me do this, you can fight with me later. Tev was outside, and he tapped his watch, and I realized he was telling me that time was running out. When I left, he was waiting on the outskirts of town.” It was me who pulled Cannon to a stop this time. “I never thought…if I’d stayed…you wouldn’t have been hurt.”

“What ifs are a fool’s game, Kezia.” Cannon resumed walking. “Keep talking.”

“I got to the meeting point, and Landon was worried.”

“Worried how?”

“Biting his nails, fretful, anxious.” Pushing my hair off my face, I shrugged. “I’ve known him a long time, I know when he’s nervous, and he was nervous. When he saw me, he looked relieved.”

“Well, you did just walk into his trap.”

“Sarcastic comments won’t make this better.”

“Probably not, but too bad.”

“He knocked me out with some horrible chemical smell he put over my nose and mouth. When I was going under, he apologized and said he has my mom.”

Cannon glanced at me. “Bale?”

“No, the Easter bunny.”

“I thought sarcastic comments wouldn’t make this better?”

“Shut up.”

Cannon grumbled but was once more quiet.

“I came to in a cell. I recognized the smell. It was the hall cells where Kris put me that time during my first heat, but it was under them.”

“He must have tunnels that run under the town itself.” Cannon was frowning, but he gestured for me to continue.

“There are cameras everywhere,” I told him. “When they realized I was awake, they gassed me.”

“They did what?”

“They filled the space with some kind of steam, and when I realized it was gas, it was too late.” We’d slowed in our approach to the town, but Cannon was in no hurry since I was talking. “When I came to again, I was in a bedroom, chained to a wall, with a silver cuff on my wrist.”

“Openly using silver?” Cannon raised his eyebrows as he thought about it. “Seems like things have gotten worse since Barbara’s days.” My mate was pissed off but trying to keep it together so I would finish, but I knew he was furious, I could feel it.

“I wasn’t in the town anymore either. They have another place, a camp of some sort.” I swallowed hard in remembrance. “Landon was there when I woke, Bale too. Landon was trying to convince his father that I should be his wife.”

“Bale needed convincing? So taking you wasn’t Bale’s plan?”

“I don’t believe so,” I admitted. “They kept me chained to the wall, and Landon was advocating for me to be his mate. Bale wasn’t having it.” I stopped, wrapping my arms around myself. “I’d already realized that Bale didn’t care if I was mated to you. The need to break the bond wasn’t for me, it was for?—”

“Kris.”

“Yes.”

We shared a look and Cannon looked to the town where his pack was. “It would be agony.” His voice was barely a whisper, and I wasn’t sure if it was because we’d so recently formed our own mate bond, but I also felt sick at the thought of him being taken away from me.

“It would.” We stepped closer to each other, and I took comfort in his presence. “Landon told me you were dead. He was gone for a few days, and he said he was at your death service, paying his respects.” Cannon was already shaking his head.

“Bullshit. I was close to it, I won’t lie, but no one was ready to send me to Luna yet.”

I told him the thing I hated admitting. “I don’t know if Landon can be trusted.”

“What gave it away?” Cannon drawled with a roll of his eyes.

“He protected me in that place. When Bale beat me the first time?—”

The alpha had me in front of him, fury rolling off him in waves, his hands curled around my biceps as he stared down at me, fire in his eyes. “Say that again, very slowly.”

“He went crazy. Bale said horrible things about my mom. He beat me and if Landon hadn’t dragged him off me, I don’t know if he would have stopped.” I touched my cheek. “He broke my cheekbone… Landon was allowed to take the cuff off to let me heal, but I had silver in my system and it took a while.”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“Landon stopped him.” I hated recounting this. Cannon was right, I wasn’t sure I could tell this story again. “I was allowed to bathe when Bale told Landon I was broken.” I looked away from the steady green gaze of my alpha. “I couldn’t stop crying at the thought you were gone. I wouldn’t eat or drink. You were dead, and I’d never see you again.”

“You’re so quick to write me off, pup.” He cupped my face gently. “You couldn’t feel me?”

“I was numb. I had an ache in my belly?—”

“That was me.”

Startled, I stepped back. “Wh-what?”

“Have you never felt me before?” Cannon was genuinely surprised. “It’s how I know where you are and how to track you. I can feel you. You tug at me like an annoying little gnat.”

His gentle smile softened the blow of his words, but still…a gnat? “A gnat? Really?”

“Meh.” Cannon acting playful when I knew how angry he was, soothed my anxiety. I knew he was angry, but he was taking care not to further upset me with his emotions. “Where was she during all of this?”

Looking away from him, I shrugged. “She wasn’t present for a long time, not until I started calling for her. I asked her for help.” We shared a look and Cannon gave a nod of understanding. “Moonstar told me you weren’t dead. She said I’d feel even worse than I did if you were gone.”

“You felt my pain. The silver did its job.” Cannon pulled me into his arms. “That ache that you felt? It was the bond straining to get us together, I think.”

“When Landon told me his plan, for me to give him an alpha child?—”

“A child?” I could feel his rage through the bond. Gone was his forced calm, and his anger pulsed through our connection. “Did he touch you?”

Swallowing hard, I forced myself to look him in the eye. “We slept together.” When Cannon reared back, I grabbed for him, placing my hands on either side of his face. “Slept. That is all. I slept in his bed. Nothing else. We needed to show Bale I could be tamed.”

Shaking free of my touch, Cannon stepped back. “Nothing you’re saying to placate me is making me feel less murderous.”

“Well, let’s rip the Band-Aid off,” I muttered. “Bale tried to force himself on me.” I hurried on. “I’d finally felt Moonstar, and she told me you weren’t dead, but I was too weak to escape.” Cannon was still as stone, and I spoke quickly. “Bale hates me—it’s frightening how much he hates me. He knew who Kris was from the second he took us into the pack. He told me Cass is pregnant…” I saw Cannon’s eyebrow rise in surprise. “And he called me a whore and said… It doesn’t matter what he said; it was horrible, and all that matters is that he was going to…assault me. I was weak. I was terrified. I told her that if you lived, she must heal you, and in turn?—”

“In turn, you gave up on us.”

It was like a slap to the face. “No!”

“Yes.” Cannon was stony-faced, but his eyes were wild with emotion. “You gave up.”

“I was weak! He was going to take something that didn’t belong to him, and I used the only weapon I had! Moonstar. And before I did, I made sure she would heal you. She did, didn’t she? I gave her control for you! I needed you to be okay, Cannon.”

I watched him turn away from me. “They fed you a lie to make you weak, and you let them.”

“Cannon…”

With his head tilted to the sky, he let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry.” Looking at me sideways, he was still furious, but I could see he was sincere in his apology. “You’re mine to protect. You’re mine and we need to be smarter than this. They played you, pup, and I am grateful Moonstar came and healed me…but it shouldn’t have been at your expense.” The way he was looking at me made me relax slightly. His words stung, but I knew he was being honest. “But I understand that you have weaknesses. Your brother. Me. Fuck, even that lying fucker Landon.” Crossing the short distance to me, he wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me briefly. “I’m angry at them. At myself. Everything.”

“Yourself?”

“I should have killed Tev when I came back. I let him stay, knowing he hated me. I never expected the hatred to run that deep. That’s my error.”

We stood slightly apart, both frowning at what had happened. “We both made mistakes,” I reasoned softly. “But it’s mistakes we can learn from, right?” Pulling back, I looked up at him. “The question is, how do we stop this?”

Cannon’s glare was emerald fire. “Easy. We kill them all.”