10. Willow
TEN
Willow
“Why are you so down?” Lily asked me, handing me a bottle of water from the grocery bag that had our lunch in it. “You’re telling me that you’re not, but every time I look at you, I see sadness.”
“I think you’re exaggerating.” I tried to smile, but I knew it was flat. Tucking my hair behind my ear, I tried to lift myself out of my low mood. “Maybe it’s because I never got a slice of wedding cake brought home.”
Lily rolled her eyes, but the distraction worked as she launched into telling me again why the wedding cake was so hideous and why she couldn’t possibly bring me a slice. In truth, I think she ate mine on the way home, but the cake was elderflower and lavender, which sounded like a tea blend I would avoid, never mind eat.
Lily sighed dramatically, unwrapping her vegetable panini absentmindedly. She hadn’t met anyone at the wedding. She had flirted plenty from what I had been told, but there were no sparks. Not even a flicker. I wanted to commiserate, I did, but whenever I thought of “sparks,” I remembered the feeling as Caleb bit into my wrist.
“Do you think vampires are real?”
Lily stopped midchew, her eyebrow arched in question. “No. Maybe?” She shrugged. “Would you rather an Edward or a Lestat?”
“Neither,” I told her honestly, feeling stupid for my question.
Lily took another bite of her sandwich. “Of course, you’re team Jacob.”
“I never understand why anyone isn’t ,” I pointed out. “And anyway, who wants to drink someone’s blood?”
“So they live.” Lily opened the bag of chips she’d brought for us to share. “They feed to live, it’s all very?—”
“Parasitic.”
“Romantic,” Lily countered. “Oooh, okay, how about Damon? You have to admit he’s better.”
“Than what?” I opened my sandwich. Simple cheese, lettuce and tomato. “A leech?”
“Girl, you cannot diss Damon. He’s hot and way better than the options I gave you before.” Lily ate a few chips. “Okay, okay, I got it! Dean or Sam?”
“Dean.”
We shared a look and both grinned. “Totally,” Lily confirmed. “And he’d kill all the vampires.”
“And the werewolves,” I added. “All the creepy things go night night when Dean’s around.” We ate in silence. As much as I tried, I couldn’t stop looking at the bench across the street.
“So, Caleb just left?” Lily was really bad at feigning indifference .
“You’re as subtle as a brick.” She merely winked at me, drinking from her water bottle. “Yes, he left.”
“And he never said anything ?”
“What were you expecting him to say?” I looked down at my sandwich, losing my appetite as I thought about the man who was gone in person but who, in my dreams, still very much had a starring role.
“Goodbye?” Lily’s disappointment would have been amusing if I wasn’t still torn about Caleb leaving like I’d asked him to.
“He was just a guy, Lil,” I admonished, standing up and walking to the small storage area where I sometimes kept new pieces that I hadn’t dared to showcase yet. With trembling fingers, I reached out for the newest piece and took it out of hiding. “What do you think?”
Lily quickly put her sandwich down and wiped her hands on her jeans before joining me to study my latest piece of art. “Oh wow, Willow,” she exclaimed, the admiration clear. “It’s beautiful.” I nodded. It was. A pool, perhaps a spring, was surrounded by trees with two flat boulders close to the water. However, it was the soft waterfall that drew the eye. “The light on that waterfall,” she breathed. “Is it real?” She reached out to touch the painting. “I can almost feel the coolness of the water.” She beamed at me, and I knew I blushed at the praise.
“Thank you.”
“Where is this? We need to go.”
“I don’t think it’s anywhere.” But the lie tasted heavy on my tongue. I knew it was real because I knew it was connected to Caleb. While Lily gushed over the painting and helped me place it on the wall for sale, I didn’t tell her I hadn’t painted all of the scene that I’d dreamed of. I didn’t tell her that on the edge of the clearing, leading to the pool had sat a gray wolf.
I hadn’t drawn it into my painting. I’d tried, but each time I’d attempted to capture the beauty of the majestic animal, I’d ended up starting over.
“I love it.” Her declaration brought me out of my thoughts. “I might need to buy it.”
With my back to her, I didn’t have to hide my smile. “You have no more room for your pity purchases,” I scolded, but she could tell I was joking.
“Well…I have an office now.”
Looking over my shoulder at her, I saw her shift her feet uncomfortably. “No, you didn’t,” I said as I turned. “You gave in?”
Her head dropped into her hands as she groaned. “I gave in!” When she raised her head, she looked defeated, but she was fighting the smile. “He’s unbearable to live with, you know.”
“Which is a lie, and you know it.” Reaching out to swat her on the arm, I missed as she danced out of reach. “Plus, you’re working for your dad. It’s not the same as living in the same house as him.” Resting back on my seat, I shook my head as I watched her. “When do you start?”
Lily sniffed, inspecting her nails. “Monday.”
Frowning at her indifference, I ended up gawking at her. “You started today ?” She didn’t meet my stare, deciding to tidy up our half-eaten lunches. “Oh my God, are you on your lunch break?”
“Shut up.”
I laughed out loud. I couldn’t help it. She looked so smug and bashful at the same time. “Congratulations on your new job,” I told her, hugging her. “How long is lunch?” The fact her phone started to ring made me laugh again. “You’re already in trouble!” I wasn’t hiding my glee.
“Shut up , Willow!” Lily’s cheeks were burning as she answered the phone. “Hi, Dad!” I giggled when she rolled her eyes at me. “Of course I’m coming back this afternoon,” she said, picking up her purse. She mouthed goodbye to me, and I waved, watching her hurry out the door. Only Lily would take too long a lunch break on her first day of a new job.
I spent the rest of the day cleaning the store. I’d had class this morning. Lily had told me she wouldn’t be in class, but Lorna and Peter had turned up, eager as ever. Realizing that Lily wouldn’t be returning as a student made me sad but also happy. Sad that I’d miss her student fees, and happy that I would no longer be taking charity from her.
Plus, I knew she was going to love working with her dad.
Around four, I decided I’d had enough and wanted to catch some of the afternoon sunshine. I’d been freaked out by the doctor that afternoon the other week, but despite that, I’d taken his advice. I walked to and from the store at a pace that suited me. I ate three meals a day, and I had banned candy, chocolate, and Alistair from my house.
I was going to cave when it came to Alistair, I knew that. It wasn’t his fault his mom wasn’t the best parent. I’d thought I saw his dad was home, which would keep Alistair out of my house too. For how long? I guess that was up to me.
I’d also been sleeping better, but before, I would wake up with an image in my mind of Caleb, but now I felt the dreams more. I was glad he wasn’t here. I didn’t think he would appreciate knowing he had a recurring role in my head at night.
I didn’t know why I was so obsessed with him. I’d tried using a different adjective, but none of them felt right. I was obsessed. He was an enigma. Biting fetishes aside, he was someone I wanted to know more about. I just didn’t know how or why.
The walk was slower than I hoped. I put it down to daydreaming about wavy dirty blond hair and eyes the color of a chocolate fountain. No, that was a terrible comparison. The depth of color in his eyes was deeper than the color of milk chocolate—it was dark chocolate—but no, that wasn’t right either. It was milk chocolate with a hint of darkness. Or the other way around? Dark chocolate with a hint of lightness… Shaking my head at my nonsense, I tried to shake Caleb from my mind.
At home, I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, poured a glass of milk, and took my dinner to my studio with me, ready for an evening of painting.
The tray slipped from my hands, crashing to the floor, when I found Caleb sitting on my stool, facing the door, waiting for me.
“That will stain.”
His easy, casual demeanor and his entire indifference at being in my personal space again made me finally react.
“Stop breaking into my house!” I yelled at him, and he didn’t even so much as flinch. Stooping down, I picked up my dinner off the floor, glaring at Caleb the whole time. “Why are you here? ”
“Would you believe I missed your charm?”
“Hell no.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t believe it either.” He stood up, brushing past me on his way out of the room. He returned moments later with a damp cloth. “For the floor.” He must have seen the fleeting thought of violence that I had, imagining myself shoving the cloth down his throat, because he smiled. “Feeling feisty today, aren’t you?”
“I thought I told you to leave?” Without waiting for his answer, I marched into the kitchen with my ruined dinner.
“I did leave.” He had followed me and now stood with his arms folded and his hip resting against the counter, the cloth on the counter. “I came back.” He watched me as I pretended to ignore him, dumping my sandwich in the trash and really hoping the milk wouldn’t make too much of a mess. I snatched the cloth from where he left it.
“Give me that.” Caleb held his hand out, and I placed the cleaning cloth and the paper towels I’d grabbed into his hand, careful not to touch him, hoping he wouldn’t see the tremor in my hands. If he noticed, he pretended that he didn’t.
I welcomed the brief chance to gather myself and find some semblance of composure while he cleaned my floor. It was his fault I dropped it, so it was only right he cleaned it. Huffing out a laugh, I rubbed my temples. I was being a child, and I had a man, who continually broke into my house, in my home again .
“You probably should call the police.”
Turning around quickly, I gaped at him. “Are you a mind reader now?”
“No,” he said, tossing the paper towels and the cloth in the trash. “It’s what any sane woman who lived alone would do.” He paused as he looked me over. “Never have understood why you haven’t.”
Truthfully, neither had I.
“For all your…” I waved my hand in front of me. “ That , and the general level of ‘stalkerishness’ you seem to excel in, I don’t think you would harm me.”
Caleb resumed his earlier pose of folded arms across his chest, his hip leaning on the counter. “You haven’t reported me to the cops because you think I’m good-looking?” he asked me doubtfully.
What the actual…
“What?” I knew I was gaping at him again. “No! I meant you’re all…you, but you don’t strike me as someone who would hurt me.”
He rubbed his forehead. “I don’t even understand what you say sometimes, do you know that? I cannot figure you out.”
“I’m the easiest person to figure out. It’s really not that difficult.” I felt like he insulted me, but I wasn’t sure why. “Orphan, lives alone, paints a lot, has ME. See? Done.”
“Has visions of people she’s never met.”
I gave him a flat stare. “That’s only happened with you.”
He was unimpressed. “I want to say I’m flattered, but?—”
“You’d be lying. I know. I get it. You’re Mr. Immovable.” That so wasn’t the right word, but whatever. He could deal with it. I had him to deal with after all. “Could you please stop breaking into my house?”
“Can’t promise.”
Why would I expect anything else? “Can you try to stop breaking into my house?” He smiled and I knew he was laughing at me. “So, you left.” I decided changing the subject was better. “You weren’t gone for long.”
“No.” Caleb watched me intently. “When you have your visions or dreams or whatever you want to call them, what do you feel?”
“When I realize I’ve dreamt of you?” He nodded once. “Irritated mostly.”
He was unfazed. “Willow, can you try to be an adult?”
“I can be an adult; you just bring out the rebellious side of me.”
“You mean the teenage brat?”
I could continue throwing sass his way, but he was right, we were adults. Taking a deep breath, I squared my shoulders. “I feel drained like I haven’t slept. I try to get solid sleep for my health, but even though I know I haven’t woken up, I know that I’m not rested.”
He watched me impassively. “And how long does that feeling last? Do you paint what you saw immediately?” I shook my head. “Do you wake up having painted or drawn me in your sleep?” Again, I shook my head. “What’s the longest you’ve waited between dreaming about me and drawing me?”
“ Dreaming about you?” I scoffed. “You sound like you’re the man of my dreams,” I snorted with contempt. “Trust me, you aren’t.”
“I am quite literally the man of your dreams,” he corrected, his posture all stiff and judgy. “Trust me , I wish I wasn’t. Now answer the question.”
I wanted to swear at him. Quite colorfully. I wanted to call him names a respectable businesswoman shouldn’t know. I wanted to act like the rebellious teenager he accused me of behaving like. Instead, I pushed my anger down and tried to smile instead.
He would not beat me. “I think the most—sorry, the longest—I’ve left it, maybe a day?”
“And how bad did your ME get that day?”
Frowning, I thought about it. “I…I don’t know.”
Caleb looked away from me as he thought over what I said. “I don’t think it is being near me that causes you to be weak,” he mused. “I’ve been thinking about this. I’ve been in your presence a number of times?—”
“I noticed.”
He ignored my interruption. “And only a few times have you been weakened so much I needed to help you.”
He raised his hand, his fingers sinking into his thick hair, and he rubbed his scalp in frustration. I watched fascinated as the strands broke free of his normal pushed-back hairstyle, and a few curls fell loose over his forehead. It changed the look of him, softened him. My fingers itched to sketch him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” His voice was wary as he pushed the stray hair back.
“Wondering why you’re shaking your dandruff onto my floor.” Oh my lord, yeah…I needed to control my mouth.
Caleb threw his head back and laughed out loud. “I don’t have dandruff. You’re safe.”
“Well, I haven’t gotten my tetanus shot after you bit me, so keep your self to yourself.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“You bit me. ”
“I apologized.”
Did he? “I don’t care.”
“Fine.”
“ Fine .”
We glared at each other until Caleb let out a low curse and turned away, walking back to my studio. “Show me everything new,” he called over his shoulder.
No please or thank you , just show me . I followed him because the quicker I showed him, the quicker he would leave. I hoped. When I was done, he pulled a crumpled-up piece of sketch paper from his pocket. Flattening it out, he looked up at me.
“And this?”
Swallowing hard, I didn’t demand to know why he went through my trash. It was no longer a surprise the boundaries he willingly crossed. “I don’t have a good flair for animals.”
The wolf stared at me from the sketch. Even it seemed to know I was full of it.
“Looks good to me.” His voice was gruff as he spoke. “Any more of these?”
“No. I…I can’t get it right, so I left it off.”
“Off?” He was suddenly alert. “Off of what?”
“The painting I put in the gallery this afternoon.” He took hold of my elbow, steering me from the room. “Caleb!”
“We’re going back to the gallery. You’ll show me everything.”
Wrenching my arm free, I spun to face him. “You can’t boss me around like this, Caleb!”
“We either go together or I go alone. Which would you prefer? ”
Grinding my teeth together, I glared at him, wishing it had the power to hurt him. “Together.”
His scornful smirk set my blood on fire with temper. “That’s what I thought.”
Asshole .