22. Kezia

The best thingabout the day was that I was a much better fighter as my wolf when it came to fighting pack. My wolf had no mercy, and instinct overruled much, and when I shifted back, not only was I fully healed, but Leo was short of breath.

He did make me fight him one-on-one on the mat again, but this time, because my wolf had healed our sore bones and aching muscles and I had been watching and learning as we fought against the black and white wolf that was Leo, I didn't get my ass kicked quite as badly.

When Leo decided I could go get some food, I was practically skipping alongside Nikan as we walked to the food hall.

He laughed at me when I greeted a passing pack member with a "good morning" and a wide smile. "You look really happy." His hands were in his pockets as we walked, and I gave an eager nod as he watched me.

"I got to fight, three times, then get told the food hall is still open and I have to eat—and I quote—as much as I can. This is the best morning in the history of mornings." I took two big steps to put myself in front and spun around to face him as I walked backward. "And I also made Leo bleed that last time."

"Of course you'd be his mate," Nikan said in a low voice, but with a rueful smile. "You're as savage as he is."

My laugh was loud, and I winced when I realized I'd drawn attention to myself when I saw several people look my way as they went about their morning business, but whereas in the Anterrio Pack, I'd have received glares and mistrust, the pack here smiled openly and most waved at us as we passed.

At the entrance to the food hall, Nikan held the door open for me, and that simple gesture also stood out. Eager for food and coffee, I hurried to the counter to see what there was left, expecting it to be sparse. Instead, there was a full tray of cooked breakfast and two plates already made up.

"Morning," the women greeted. "Alpha said you'd be along around this time and asked us to make you up a plate. We can make more of anything you need."

There was a whole tray of bacon, pancakes, sausage, eggs, and French toast. Looking at it, then lifting my head between the woman and Nikan, I shook my head.

"I don't eat that much."

Nikan snorted while he took a plate from the counter, already laden with food. "Yeah, you do."

Taking the plate offered to me, I tried not to salivate over my breakfast. "I don't," I told her in a low whisper. But I still managed to reach out and take another piece of French toast. And then added a few more pieces of bacon. "They're exaggerating," I added while completely proving Nikan and Cannon right.

We sat near the counter, and I spent the next several minutes eating my breakfast, clearing my plate, and being rewarded with a second helping. When I finally looked up, Nikan was watching me over the rim of his coffee cup.

"What?" I picked up a napkin and dabbed my chin. "Do I have breakfast on my face?"

Placing his cup down, he shook his head. "No, I was just wondering if you're feeling okay. We established the…" He looked over his shoulder, but the woman who had served us was in the kitchen, and the only other shifter in the hall was an older male who was reading a paper, and I doubted he could hear us as the kitchen workers started to clear up. "We established before that your heat was near, or almost here, by your increase in appetite. Your healthy appetite," he clarified with a waggle of his eyebrows. "Know what I mean?"

"I just have a healthy appetite for good food." My cheeks warmed as I recalled what else I seemed to have a healthy appetite for when I thought of the last twenty-four hours and Cannon.

Nikan was frowning in thought, and I crossed my fingers in the hope he wasn't about to start making this awkward. "So, you feel normal?"

Finishing my coffee, I couldn't help but grin at him. "I've never felt normal…"

With a playful eye roll, he finished his own coffee. "Why am I not surprised?" Pointing at my plate, he made to stand. "You finished?"

"Yup." Jumping to my feet, I picked up my plate and cup and followed him through the double doors to the large industrial-sized kitchen. Several of the pack were either cleaning or prepping food for lunch or dinner.

Willy was one of the workers, and she gave me a hug in greeting. "Alpha added you to the chore list," she told me, wiping her hands on a paper towel. Nikan nudged me subtly and I followed her to a large whiteboard that I hadn't paid attention to that ran along a wall beside the fridges. Willy pointed at the far-left corner. "Alpha says you're a mean dishwasher." She glanced at my hands and then back up at the board. "You okay to start washing?"

"Now?" I admit it took me by surprise, but pack worked together; it's how we survived.

"No." She slapped my arm as she chuckled. "Alpha says Nikan is to show you how our pack works today, and then if it's all right with you, you're on lunch rotation tomorrow. Can you cook?"

It was a lot to take in, and Alpha sure said a lot it seemed about me, but not to me. Brushing it aside, I looked around the size of the kitchen. "I can cook, but I've never cooked for more than me and my brother," I admitted.

"Good, not too many bad habits to break." Willy looked pleased as she led me to the three huge sinks. "Rinse them, stack them." Opening one of the dishwashers, she showed me how the best way to stack a dishwasher was. I simply listened even though she was doing it all wrong. "If you're in for the slower mealtimes, we'll start you off slow by showing you how to cook for more than two, okay?"

"Of course."

Nikan spoke then. "Cannon thought kitchen to start with to ease you into the pack." He pointed to the other side of the whiteboard. "That's the schedule for combat and defense training. Tomorrow, you're on lunch duty here, from ten thirty to two. Then from three to four, you have training." I stepped closer as I read the shift pattern. "You still have Leo in the morning though, but tomorrow will be a shorter set." Nikan nodded at Willy, who had migrated back to her food prep. "See you later," he called out, waving to the pack and walking back into the main hall. "You may get a week, maybe two on the kitchen, then everyone rotates, and you get put somewhere else."

"Everyone rotates?" We were back outside, and Nikan was leading me away from the direction of the alpha's house.

"Any shifter that can cook, like really cook, they usually stay in the kitchen rotation, but they have the choice to move. Our rotations are simple." We were at a larger building, and as Nikan held the door open for me, I realized this was their general store. "Kitchens, serving, either in the hall or in here, teaching"—he glanced at me—"you won't be doing that, and hunting."

"Hunting?" I knew he could hear how excited I was at that.

"Yes, hunting, and we also do security too. Not sure you'll get put into that rotation."

"Security? The females are allowed to rotate?"

"Most packs operate this way." He picked up a bag of chips and two bottles of soda. "It's only the Anterrios who are so pigheaded about keeping the females away from roles that involve combat." He put the three things on the counter, and the young male was too busy staring at me to notice. "Do I need to kick your ass?" Nikan growled at him.

The male startled and flushed bright red. "No, Nikan! Sorry," he mumbled at me as his head dipped. He marked the three items on a computer screen against Nikan's name.

I waited for Nikan to pay but when he simply picked up the sodas and handed me one, he saw my frown. "We don't use money in the pack for food."

"It's free?" In the Anterrio Pack, in the canteen, if you ate with everyone else, you didn't pay for food, but in the bakery and store you did.

Nikan said goodbye to the store clerk, and I gave a small wave as we left. "So, in your pack, everyone has a specific role, and everyone gets paid for that role, right?" When I nodded, Nikan continued. "Here, there are very few of us who have one role. Cannon, obviously, is alpha, but he still works rotations, just limited, and he's more of a ‘drop in when he can,' and to a certain extent, Royce and I do the same. Doc is, well, he's Doc. The teachers for the kids don't rotate, but that's obvious." When it was clear I was following, Nikan continued. "Cannon gives everyone, with those exceptions, the same amount of allowance. We hunt for our meat, and we grow our own vegetables?—"

"You do?"

Nikan pointed ahead. "It's where we're going next," he explained, and I noticed we were heading out of the town. "If we hunt and grow our food, and everyone is involved, why would we pay for it?" Nikan shook the bag of chips. "Stuff like this, we buy in, and the store keeps a ledger, and it gets deducted from the allowance."

"Like a tab?" I'd learned of these when I worked in the bars.

"Exactly." Nikan opened his soda. "When our father was alpha, he made the pack pay for the store food, and he set the prices double or triple the retail price so that hardly anyone used it. He was such a dick."

"So where does the pack income come from?" I looked around at my surroundings. Every building was well-maintained, the sidewalks were clean, and as we neared the edge of town, I saw the land that was used for agriculture.

"We outsource our other skills." Nikan shrugged. "Most of the males my age and older, like Cannon, and some females served time with the military. Or there are some of the pack who were educated in human schools and colleges. Some went to trade schools. What we learn, we take back to the pack, and then we find jobs that require skills that we have."

"Like what? What skill do you have?"

"Graphic designer," Nikan told me proudly. "I design websites and do some coding, and the good thing about it is that I don't even need to leave the pack."

"You work with computers?"

We were at the side of a fence now, where several white polytunnels filled the field. Nikan slapped his forehead. "I forget how useless your old pack leader is. I hate his stupid ways. Everyone in this pack can use computers. Hell, most of us own one."

"Wow." I didn't have another word to describe it. "That's so…advanced."

Nikan laughed loudly. "No, it really isn't, Zia." He lost his mirth as he saw my look. "It's normal. Your pack is the anomaly, not ours."

"It makes me resent Bale even more," I said quietly, hating that my pack was so backward and restrictive in our leadership.

"He's a dick," Nikan agreed, tugging my arm to make me walk again. "But there are more than just Bale in that pack, and they know how it could be, and they accept it." Nikan scowled as he spoke. "They're the ones who make me angry." Turning to face me, he carried on. "Do you know your pack who have their own interest, like the she with the bakery? He takes a dividend from her for that. She pays rent, for fuck's sake, and he takes a cut of her profits too."

"For the pack, I assume?"

"For himself."

That was absurd. "I didn't know that."

"I bet he doesn't boast about it," Nikan grumbled. "Where is he?" He looked around, going as far as to climb up on the simple post and wire fence to use for a height advantage.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Cannon!"

I jumped when Nikan bellowed. "Dude, my eardrums!" Moving a few steps away, I rubbed my ear. "Mindlink him like a normal shifter."

"Can't." Nikan jumped down. "He's closed off today."

Trying to look casual, I asked, "Does he do that often?"

"Nah." Nikan rubbed his jaw. "Only when he's being secretive…or…doesn't want anyone to catch him reliving anything." Nikan's smirk was enough to make me blush. "I knew it," he said smugly. "It explains your appetite earlier, needed to refuel."

"Shut up."

He didn't say anything else, but with a quick check of the fields again, he jumped back down beside me. "He's not here, he's maybe with Doc." We were walking back when he stopped suddenly. "He treat you okay?"

My reaction of surprise that he would ask that, was enough to make him lose his casual smile, and I felt guilty. "Yes… Sorry?"

Nikan waved it off. "When I looked back on it all after we spoke, it was so obvious that you're his you know, I don't know why I never saw it." We walked in silence before he huffed out a laugh. "Way to ruin the day, Nikan."

Taking his arm like I would if he were Landon, and if Landon wasn't the giant asshole he was now, I linked my arm through Nikan's. "You've ruined nothing. I've loved my tour. Thank you for taking the time to show me your home."

He patted my arm in response. "We could go find my brother, or I can show you where the trades and maintenance are?"

I did want to see Cannon, but I also wanted to stay away from Cannon because I didn't know how to act around the man who kept me up all night having sex with me.

"Maintenance sounds good?"

"Avoiding him?" Nikan sighed. "Do you need an intervention?"

"Nope." I avoided eye contact. "He's alpha-ing, and I'm on a tour of your pack."

"You mean our pack," Nikan corrected.

"Why in Luna's name is it my pack?" I asked him, thinking he was teasing me.

We'd been walking back the way we came, and houses were around us, and I could hear pack ahead of us. Nikan looked ahead and then at me. "Because you're mates?" he said, keeping his voice low. "And this is now your pack."

I trailed to a stop as I thought about what he said. "No."

"No?" Nikan walked back the few steps he was ahead of me. "I don't understand?"

Neither did I. I wanted to tell him that this wasn't my pack, because we may be mates, but the intention was still to not form the bond. Well, until yesterday. Or maybe earlier than then. When did we change our minds? I was so confused. Chewing the inside of my cheek, I pulled my hair off my face as I thought about my answer. "It's… I'm… It's a lot okay."

"You're"—Nikan gave a furtive glance over his shoulder—"you know…"

"Yeah, I do. And until recently we were working on not being…you know."

He took a step back, confusion on his face. "But you had sex," he blurted too loudly for my comfort.

"Let's shout it a little bit louder, why don't you?" I hissed, grabbing his arm and jerking him forward. "Yes, we did, but what if that didn't change anything." He was gaping at me. All wide-eyed and mouth open. He looked like a caricature of himself. "Stop overreacting," I warned him.

"You think it didn't change anything, or Ca—" At my warning look, he took a deep breath. "Or he doesn't think it did?"

"What kind of question is that?" I wailed. "I don't know, ask him."

"Why would I ask him?" Nikan looked bewildered. "Unless you want me to? Are you asking me to ask him?"

"No! What is wrong with you? Why would you ask?"

"That's what I said, but you said ask him." His arms were flailing like a windmill. "So did you say that because you want me to ask him, because I don't even know how to start that conversation, or if I even want to! And?—"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Nikan, I didn't mean actually ask him," I scolded. "Are you crazy? You can't just walk up to him and say hey, bro, so I was wondering, anything changed on the whole you-know thing?"

Nikan looked thoughtful even though my tone was mocking. "I could…"

"No!" I whisper-yelled. "That is insane. I'm not asking, and you aren't asking, and neither of us is even thinking of this anymore."

"But don't you want to know?"

Throwing my hands in the air, I glared at him as he came to stand beside me. "Oh my Goddess, will you shut up?"

"Fine." He hesitated as we started walking again. "But you know?—"

"Shut up."

"Fine."

"Or…you stop having this conversation in the street, and both can ask me at the house?"

Turning slowly, I faced Cannon, who was standing behind us, with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. I knew I was the same color of red as a cherry tomato. "Hey?" I avoided making eye contact while blushing furiously and wishing I was anywhere but here.

"Hey, yourself," he greeted me, and I saw him checking me over out of the corner of my eye. "Got something on your mind, pup?"

Ah damn it all to hell.