19. Kali

19

KALI

H ugging my books tightly, I cross the lush green campus. The crisp morning air fills my lungs as I focus on getting to class on time until a familiar face stops me in my tracks.

Matias sits on a bench up ahead, his dark gaze on me. My heart stutters as our eyes meet. He doesn't move or speak—he simply watches me with an intensity that makes my skin prickle.

Swallowing hard, I tear my eyes away and keep walking, picking up my pace. I won't let him distract me, not today. I have too much work to catch up on after everything that's happened.

As I pass by, he shifts, and I brace myself for him to speak, but he remains silent, letting me go. A shiver runs down my spine—whether from relief or disappointment, I can't tell.

I make it to the lecture hall just in time, slipping into a seat near the back. My breathing is uneven as I pull out my notebook and flip to a blank page. Just then, someone slides into the seat beside me. Jake is a nice guy I've chatted with several times in this class.

"Hey Kali," he whispers with a friendly smile. "How's it going?"

I smile in return, but my mind is reeling from seeing Matias. "Oh, hey, Jake. I'm alright, just a bit tired."

He nods understandingly. "Yeah, I feel you. These early classes are brutal." He leans in a bit closer. "Did you finish the reading for today? I barely made it through the first chapter."

I glance at my notebook, realizing I can't remember the assigned reading. "I, uh... I didn't get very far either," I admit.

Jake chuckles softly. "Well, at least we're in the same boat." He starts to say something else, but I'm finding it hard to focus on his words because my thoughts keep drifting back to Matias and the intensity of his gaze.

I smile apologetically at Jake. "I'm sorry. I'm out of it today because I didn't sleep well last night."

He gets the hint, nodding and leaning back in his seat. "No worries, I understand. We can catch up another time."

I sigh when he turns his attention to the front of the room. The professor has just walked in, commanding the class's attention. I push all thoughts of Matias from my mind and focus on the lecture, but it's easier said than done.

As the professor speaks, I force myself to take notes, hoping the distraction will help settle my racing thoughts. But even as I write, I can still feel the weight of Matias's gaze lingering on my skin, a constant reminder of our twisted bond. He looked at me like a predator eyeing its prey.

Part of me wants to run back to him, to surrender to the dark pull he has over me. But a stronger part knows I need to resist, to cling to the fragile sense of normalcy I've managed to return to at Brown.

As the lecture drones on, I drift back to that bench, wondering if he's still waiting for me.

Shaking my head, I know I'm being silly. Matias has no hold over me anymore. I'm free from that dark life, away from the violence and fear and captivity. Here in Providence, I'm free.

Still, I can't quite banish the memory of his intense gaze from my mind. How he looked at me from that bench, like he could see straight through my soul, was unnerving. Unsettling. But also, a small part of me is still lost to him.

I glance at Jake, who is diligently taking notes. He's a nice, normal guy—exactly the kind of person I should surround myself with now—someone stable and kind, without any of the darkness that defined my life for those impossibly long weeks of captivity.

The professor is discussing themes from the reading I still need to complete. Shit. I'll have to borrow someone's notes later to catch up.

"... which brings us to the core question," the professor's voice cuts through my wandering mind. "What motivates the protagonist's actions? Is he truly the virtuous hero he's made out to be, or are his intentions more morally ambiguous?"

My pen hovers over the blank page as I ponder her question. A protagonist motivated by darker impulses, huh? I can certainly relate to that inner conflict, that constant battle between the yearning for light and the powerful pull of darkness.

Unbidden, a memory of Matias flashes into my mind of when he fucked me in the tree house. His touch could ignite a wildfire of desire in my core, even as fear prickled my skin. The terrible, beautiful contradiction of craving the very thing that terrified me.

I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing the memory away. That's all in the past now. I'm on a new path, focused on my education and building a normal life here.

Finally, the lecture ends, and I hurry out of the lecture hall with my books clutched to my chest. I stop short when I spot him leaning against the wall outside the door with his arms folded. His dark gaze immediately locks onto me.

"Kali," he rumbles, his voice like gravel.

I suck in a sharp breath, my body reacting instinctively to the sound. Steeling myself, I brush past him without a word, determined to ignore him.

But he falls into step beside me, matching my pace. "You can't avoid me forever, baby."

A shiver runs through me at the nickname, and I curse the traitorous reaction. "I'm not avoiding anyone," I lie.

He laughs. "Still playing tough, I see. "

I quicken my steps, but he keeps up effortlessly. The hallway stretches endlessly before us, filled with students milling about, oblivious to the tension in their midst.

Matias grabs my arm and yanks me into a small alcove, spinning me around to face him. I gasp at his proximity, my back pressed against the cold wall. He cages me in with his arms, his body a furnace of heat against mine.

"Let me go," I hiss, struggling against his hold.

His eyes blaze with an intensity that steals my breath. "You know you don't want that."

I open my mouth to protest, but the words die on my tongue as he leans closer, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. "I can smell your desire. It's intoxicating."

A whimper escapes me as heat pools low in my belly. Damn him and his effect on me.

"You can't hide from me," he rumbles, his lips ghosting along the sensitive skin of my neck. "No matter where you run, I'll always be able to scent you out."

His hand slides up my side, calloused fingers leaving a scorching trail in their wake. "I can see it in your eyes," he murmurs, his thumb tracing the curve of my lower lip. "You miss this as much as I do."

I whimper softly, torn between fear and desire, revulsion and longing. How can one man ignite such a fierce internal battle within me? I should hate him; I should fight against the twisted hold he has over me. And yet...

His lips capture mine in a searing kiss, his tongue delving past my parted lips to stake his claim. I melt into him despite a small part of my mind screaming at me to resist, to push him away.

My fingers tangle in the fabric of his shirt as I kiss him back with desperation, craving more of his taste, his heat, his overwhelming presence.

A low growl rumbles from deep within his chest as he presses closer, pinning me harder against the unyielding wall. I can feel the hard planes of his body, the flex of taut muscle, the insistent ridge of his arousal grinding against me.

I should stop this. I know I should. But even as the thought forms, it's consumed by the flames of need licking through my veins. This man is my undoing, my beautiful damnation, and I can't resist his pull.

His hand grasps my hair, forcing my head to tilt back, revealing the vulnerable column of my throat. His teeth graze my racing pulse as he murmurs, "You're mine, little rabbit. Forever."

His words are a vow laced with darkness and possession. Something deep within me responds to his claim, to the primal need blazing in his eyes. It's as though some broken, damaged part of my soul recognizes its other half in this dangerous, beautiful man.

I can only hold his smoldering stare, my chest rising and falling with ragged breaths as the air thickens with the weight of a connection so intense it threatens to consume me whole.

Matias releases me abruptly, stepping back and allowing me to sag weakly against the bricks as he rakes me with one final, heated look.

"Don't forget," he rumbles, making my insides clench with longing. "There's no escaping the wolf."

With that, he turns and walks away, leaving me flushed and shaken, my knees barely able to support my weight as I watch him disappear into the crowd of students.