7

Case felt like every bone in his body was being slowly split in two. His skin itched and burned, even on his scalp and the soles of his feet. He had to force himself to let go of Lydia’s hand before he accidentally gripped it tightly enough to crush her fingers.

He’d done his best to hold back any wince or cry when she’d bitten him, because anybody could have seen what a hard time she was having with it. But compared to this, the bite was nothing . He had to sink his teeth into his lower lip to catch the groan before it escaped—and while he managed that , there was nothing he could do about how the rest of his body now seemed to have a mind of its own. He was rigid one second, feverishly shaking the next, and going into uncontrollable spasms after that.

“God, Case! Is there anything I can do?”

He threw his head to the side, which was the best he could do right now when it came to managing a simple “no” shake.

“Just happened,” he said through gritted teeth. “All at once.”

Lydia tentatively rested her hand on the back of his neck. He felt so clammy and chilled and that her touch was like a hot brand, but he still leaned back into it, soaking up what comfort she could give him.

He wished he could give her some in return. He’d failed her, hadn’t he? This had to be his body rejecting the transformation.

He’d wanted to help her. He was only realizing now how much he had wanted it. What was even the point of him having lived an unattached, unencumbered life if he couldn’t give it away to Lydia when he wanted to?

God, this hurt. It was like his body was trying to tear itself apart.

“Lie down,” Lydia was saying. “Just lie down. It’ll be okay.”

It wouldn’t. What was she going to do? Declan had told him what her other options were like.

He let Lydia slide a pillow under his head.

“Sorry,” Case said through suddenly chattering teeth. “Sorry. I guess it’s not taking.”

“Don’t apologize to me right now!” He was surprised by how fierce her voice was, especially since she was still so gentle in tucking her quilt around him. “You’re in agony . Focus on that. I’ll figure something out. I’m going to see if I can get you one of Ruth’s morphine shots, all right?” She raked her hands back through her hair. “I know you’re not supposed to share prescription medications, but I think we can make an exception here.”

He clenched his jaw to keep his words steady. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Did he imagine it, or did she comb her fingers through his hair? He thought she did. He was letting her down, and she must’ve been disappointed, but none of that came through in how she was handling him.

He would have been so lucky to stand by her side, even for a little while.

Lydia slipped out of the room to go get the morphine, and Case gritted his teeth and tried to will his body into doing what he wanted.

Turn , he thought, clenching his fists. He could feel the sweat running down his forehead. I know you’re trying to fight off the bite, but I need you to lean into it. I have to help her.

Dizziness swamped him, making the whole room spin. He felt feverish, and—had she only left a second ago? Or had it been longer? He couldn’t seem to get his eyes to focus on the clock. How long had he been lying here with the bite on his arm throbbing?

Lydia had said something about how being a werewolf meant having an inner wolf, a cross between a pet and your own embodied subconscious.

He couldn’t say he completely understood it, but that didn’t stop him from trying to reach out to the idea now. Somehow his overheated mind fixated on a distant image of a wolf: black, long-legged, strong, and with luminous orange-yellow eyes that looked like harvest moons.

It looks lonely , Case thought at first, before he reminded himself that he was imagining it.

But it didn’t feel like he was imagining it. It felt like it was right there, an idea that had somehow taken on a life of its own. It wasn’t in the room—he had the weird idea that it was standing on some kind of snowy plain, its breath freezing in front of it—but it still felt as real as the bright colors of Lydia’s braided rug.

Hi , Case said inside his head. He imagined stretching his hand out towards it. If you’re mine, if you’re whatever I was supposed to become after Lydia bit me, please come with me.

Lydia?

Its voice sounded a little like his, but hearing recordings of himself always struck some sour note for him, and hearing this didn’t. It was a little lower-pitched, maybe. Or ... somehow truer, unfiltered by intermediary things like human vocal cords.

I want to help Lydia , the wolf said.

Yeah. Of course you do. So come on. Help me help her.

He hadn’t been born a werewolf, and so maybe his body assumed—understandably—that anything that came along and tried to make him one was a huge mistake that needed to be corrected. But he could beat that. If he had to fight tooth and nail to get this wolf, he would.

The wolf twitched its ears, fur bristling along its neck and shoulders.

Something’s happening. She’s in trouble.

Case struggled to sit up, but pain had left his limbs stiff and unreliable, and his senses—besides whatever mind’s eye was letting him see the wolf—were still dazed from how his temperature had skyrocketed. He couldn’t hear anything worth hearing, but he trusted the wolf.

He trusted his wolf.

Can you go to her? he asked.

It shook its head with a sense of savage frustration. Case could actually feel the emotion rolling off it in waves.

Of course it couldn’t go to Lydia on its own. It was part of him. The only time it would have a physical presence in the world was when Case shifted, and his body was actively, second by second, trying to make sure that that was impossible. He knew that if he didn’t fix this problem soon, he’d watch the wolf— his wolf—fade away like a ghost.

Right now, this was magic. In another minute or two, it would feel like a feverish daydream. He would never see the wolf again. His chance to help Lydia was slipping away from him.

Stay . He imagined curling his fingers in his wolf’s coat, hanging on to its scruff. Stay with me. We’ll help her.

I’ll hurt you , his wolf warned, but it was nosing closer to him now. Not always, but at first ....

Case understood. He hurt like hell now , and that was with his body doing its best to fight off the first stages of “infection” from Lydia’s bite. It wasn’t going to feel good to have the full-blown “disease” leap into him all at once—and that was what his shifter status was to his immune system, at least right now. But he had to believe that once his wolf settled in, his system would accept it the way his mind already had.

I don’t care , he said firmly. I want you, and Lydia needs you.

The sounds are worrying , it admitted, its ears twitching again.

Case still couldn’t hear them, but he trusted his wolf’s ears over his own, especially right now. He had to get out of bed as soon as possible. He couldn’t leave Lydia on her own like this.

Let’s do this , he said.

The wolf leapt forward.