Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

“ Y our brother is going to kill me.” Erec laughed, glancing down at Astrid as they limped their way through the forest. “Then again, there might not be anything left after Boden has his turn.”

Astrid looked up to see that familiar crooked smile lifting the side of Erec’s mouth, the one that made her heart flutter, and she forgot about the pain gnawing at her calf for a moment. They had been traveling northwest for over an hour, and during all that time, Erec kept his hand firmly on her waist, letting her lean on him for every step.

She didn’t want to admit it to herself, but she liked the warmth of his body against hers; she liked the feeling of his strong arms holding her up every time she put pressure on her wounded leg. But what she liked most of all was the playful smirk he gave her this time, instead of the conflicted look he’d worn when they’d kissed before by the pomple tree.

“It’s just a small bite wound. It’ll heal by tomorrow,” she said. One of his eyebrows lifted, and she couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re right. You’re a dead man.”

As much as she wanted to bring up their private moment together again, she kept it to herself. Mostly because the sting of his callous rejection still lingered. But also because she was confused. The way her body had reacted to his touch, primal, like an animal in heat, was shocking. And when his lips had captured hers for that kiss, it not only stole her breath but all rational thought, too. She was ready to give all of herself to him, without hesitation. She had never felt that way toward any man before. And that scared her.

They hobbled along as the rest of the group strode ahead. Claus could be seen through the throng of bodies, hopping on one foot, with Kalle and Bec clutching his arms. If he thought about shifting again or struggling, he would not only have the two men to deal with, he’d have Gunnar and Darek as wolves on his heels. Not to mention Henrick and the other survivors. Still, Astrid was surprised Claus wasn’t putting up more of a fight. He was allowing them to tug him along, spewing only insults instead of punches. Every once in a while, he would glance over his shoulder and throw one of those predatory grins at her, each time rousing a growl from Erec.

There had to be more to Claus that he wasn’t showing. It was as if he was playing a game they weren’t aware of, and the idea made Astrid’s skin crawl. What was this man really capable of?

The only person who knew about Jerrick and his men beyond the traveling stories was Erec, but he was a mystery himself. All she knew about him was that he had no parents, had been taken in by Mikel, and had left his pack to be a rogue.

“You said Claus almost killed you,” Astrid started, searching for the right words. The last time she had brought up Mikel to Erec, he’d shut down. She was going to have to approach this differently to get the answers she wanted.

“He did.” In an instant, the smirk vanished, and Erec’s expression hardened. “Bastard blindsided me. Knocked me out as I was charging Jerrick. After he— ” He gritted his teeth.

She knew the words that he had left cut off. After he killed Mikel.

Erec’s stare stayed locked ahead on Claus. After a long moment, he said, “He snapped Mikel’s neck. Right there in front of me.”

Those words must have been painful to utter, but his tone never wavered. Anger pushed them from his lips this time. Not remorse. What had changed within him?

“Mikel was—” He paused, as if debating his next words. “He was like a father to me. That’s why when the time comes, I’m going to be the one to kill him.”

The fury blazing in his eyes told her he meant every word, causing worry to race through her.

She stopped walking, drawing him to a halt, too. “He’ll slaughter you, Erec. He’s a monster. You’ve said it yourself. He kills for fun.”

“I know.” His dark blue gaze lowered to search her face. “Then I’ll die doing what I want to. Not because of a curse I have no control over.”

It was like something had been stabbed into her heart. She knew that truth, that desire to have power over her own life, better than anyone. She had been fighting to live the way she wanted for ten years now, ever since her mother had died.

“We have a little less than three weeks left, you know,” Erec said. “I’ll die either way.”

The reality of their situation smacked her in the face. Neither of them had found their fated mate to undo the curse. Their twenty-five Blue Moons were almost up, and that meant only one thing. She had managed to ignore her situation for this long, but she couldn’t do it forever. Once the three weeks passed and the Blue Moon rose in the sky, she would be dead.

Erec wanted the same thing she did—to gain some control of his life. No one should deny him of that, but thinking about him running straight into Jerrick’s claws made Astrid sick to her stomach. She didn’t want him to die, in any way, by anything, just as much as she didn’t want to die herself.

Astrid sighed and let Erec resume the pace. They followed the trail of footprints in complete silence. Erec didn’t glance down at her again or make another playful remark. Instead, his expression remained like stone.

After a long while, Astrid peered up at the sliver crescent moon. From its place in the sky, she guessed they had traveled for another hour or so.

Erec let out a tittering whistle, one that could have been mistaken as a passing bird. She looked at the front of the group to see Gunnar and Darek, still in their wolf forms, stick their snouts into the air and sniff. Then they swung right.

“What’s going on?” Astrid asked, watching everyone shadow Gunnar and Darek and curve around a tall pine tree. She heard no sounds besides the expected crunching of boots in snow and heavy breathing, and her wolf was calm. There didn’t seem to be any danger. “Why are we changing direction?”

“It’s time for us to make camp,” Erec began, his tone low, “to regain our strength and make sure Jerrick isn’t on our heels. We don’t want to lead him right to Svanna Rock, so we’ll continue the journey tomorrow.”

They walked another half mile before pulling off to an area behind thick thorny bushes. The canopy of a tilted tree provided protection from the blustering wind and any lingering snowfall. Everyone spread out across the open space, and right away, the men got to work setting up camp.

Erec and Henrick made two small fires, making sure to keep the flames tamed and the smoke to a minimum. Kalle and Bec used the ropes they’d packed to bind Claus’s wrists and ankles to a wide tree trunk in eyeshot. The tents went up quickly, the stew unpacked and placed over the fire pit to warm, and blankets passed around. Before Astrid could even offer her help, camp was made and everyone was settling into their places for the night.

Astrid found a comfortable place by the fire, a bowl of hot stew in her hands. As she ate, a prickling at the back of her neck urged her to look up. As soon as she lifted her chin, she met the wide, doe-like eyes of the woman who had handed over her baby through the cage’s bars. She sat across the dancing flames of the fire pit, shoulders slumped and the food in her lap untouched. Her bottom lip quivered as if she might cry.

“My son…” she whispered, her voice broken. “Is he…safe?”

Astrid lowered her bowl. Her chest ached for her, but knowing he was in the best hands with Mila and Filip, she offered her a small smile. “He is perfectly fine. I promise you.”

Relief swept across the mother’s face, bringing the glow back into her pale cheeks. “Really?” she breathed. “He’s okay?”

Astrid nodded. “He’s with my brother and his mate. He’s fed and warm.” She wanted to assure her any way she could. “They have a little son, too, so Stefan’s in gentle hands.” The moment the name left her lips, she knew she had made a mistake. Mila had only called him Stefan temporarily, until they’d found out his given one. Would the mother be angry at them for giving her son a name?

“Stefan? My son?”

Astrid scrambled for an explanation. “Er—I’m sorry. We didn’t know his name so—”

“Stefan… Stefan…” She repeated it over and over, as if she was getting the feel of it on her tongue. Then she smiled. “You know, because of the raid on our pack, I was never able to give him a proper naming ceremony. But Stefan… I like it. A strong name for my strong, little survivor.”

Astrid sighed in relief. “I thought so, too.”

“He’ll keep it,” the woman said. “Bless you for helping us. I truly believe you were sent from the sky spirits to save us. You and your destined mate.”

Astrid was going to tell her that she was mistaken, that Erec wasn’t her mate, but she refrained. It didn’t matter what she thought. They weren’t mates, so why embarrass herself with an explanation? It was better if she just let it go. Erec had made his intentions painfully clear at the pomple tree. He didn’t want to be with her, so they couldn’t be fated to one another.

A few sparks of a past anger flared inside her, but mostly it was disappointment that filled her chest. And no matter how many times she told herself to get over it, to let it go, the pain still lingered. But why?

Enough! Let it go, Astrid. Forget him.

Easy. Done. That was it. She had convinced herself.

She shook her head. Sweet Moons, she wished it could be that simple. Erec was here to help her save her pack. Nothing more. She could tell herself that a hundred times, but her heart didn’t seem to want to listen.

Her gaze swept the camp. She found Erec across the way, chatting to Kalle about something she couldn’t hear. Probably something about Claus and his watch. Then, as if he had sensed her stare, he stopped talking mid-sentence and turned to her.

Why did her chest feel so tight?

Dammit. She glanced away.

The rest of the group started to drift into their tents, ready to catch up on sleep for the remaining hours of the night. The hefty weight of her exhaustion piled on top of her burdensome thoughts. The pain in her calf was still biting, and she wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and get lost in a dream.

Slowly, she lifted herself onto her feet. She ignored the seizing in her muscles and the urge to look back at Erec again. Instead, she picked up her spear, limped over to her tent, and went inside.

S he didn’t know how long she had lain under the blankets staring at the canvas ceiling and listening to the wind whip against the tent’s walls. The voices outside had quieted some time ago, and her inner wolf was starting to slip away like she normally did when the dawn approached. She wanted nothing more than to sleep. Her body had sunk into the warmth and softness of her quilts with ease, like an old welcoming friend, but for some reason that peace she longed for kept slipping out of her grasp. No matter how heavy her eyelids were, she couldn’t close them without replaying the scene of her and Erec together, with his hands roaming her body and his mouth on hers.

Her mind was torturing her.

She let out an aggravated sigh.

Then, the rustling sound of the tent’s flap being pulled back caught her attention, and the freezing night air rushed inside. Through the darkness, Astrid could just make out a shadowed outline of a head and wide shoulders.

She froze, her hand shooting to her spear lying beside her, but she heard Erec’s soft voice calling to her.

“Astrid? Are you awake?”

“Yes, I am.” She squinted. As her wolf side faded away, her sharp sight and other senses went along with it. She watched his silhouette move into the cramped space and crouch beside her. “Is everything all right?”

There was a spark, and bright orange light sliced through the blackness. Erec’s face appeared inches from hers, shadows defining the hard lines of his nose and jaw. She gasped.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, leaning back on his heels. He placed the lit candle on the floor by her head. “I should have warned you.”

Astrid sat up. “Is everything all right?” she repeated, heartbeat speeding up. She glanced at the new bandage covering the gash on his shoulder. Had Claus gotten away somehow? Was that why he was here? To warn her?

But Erec’s expression seemed conflicted, not panicked or concerned. “We aren’t under attack, if that’s what you mean.” When she didn’t reply, he added, “Couldn’t sleep, either. That’s all.”

Something about him being alone with her in the dark had tingling heat spreading over her skin. “Oh.”

He paused. “I actually…wanted to apologize for leaving you behind when we went to rescue Henrick and the others. It was a mistake on my part. But I—” He stopped himself and shook his head. “It was a mistake,” he said instead.

“You almost got both of us killed,” she replied, keeping her voice low and crossing her arms.

“Never again,” he said. “When I heard the howl and realized it was coming from the camp, I thought—and then, seeing your prints with the wolves’, I—” He ran a hand over his mouth and let out an exasperated grunt. “Never again.”

She didn’t quite know what he had been trying to say, or why he was struggling with his words, but at least he had said the part she wanted to hear—that he’d never leave her like that again.

After a few moments of uneasy silence, Astrid said, “So is that it? You came to apologize?”

“Not exactly.” He rubbed the back of his neck. His gaze bounced around the tent, everywhere but on her again. “About before…by the pomple tree…”

Oh no. Not this. Not now. She had thought she wanted to talk about it before, but she’d changed her mind. The words coming out of his mouth weren’t the ones she wanted to hear. Another rejection. She’d rather forget the entire thing altogether.

“Erec—” She tried to stop him.

“I shouldn’t have,” he continued over her. “I shouldn’t have, but I did anyway. It was a mistake.”

As if she’d been punched in the stomach, all the air whooshed from her lungs. Was being with her really that terrible? Was she really so—

Then his eyes found hers, and his darkened gaze locked her in place, stealing the rest of her thoughts right out of her own head. There it was again, the primal, hungry look he’d given her before. The one that made fire shoot through her veins. Astrid’s heart galloped.

When Erec spoke again, his voice took on an entirely different tone. It deepened, became gruff, as he leaned forward. His smoky scent filled her nose. “The thing is,” he drawled, “I just couldn’t control myself.”

She swallowed, her words lost in the fog of desire building inside her. But even as her conscience shouted at her to not give in, her control was slipping away, her inner voice becoming muffled by the drumming of her pulse. Why did this man have such an effect on her?

“And I really shouldn’t be doing this, but…” His lips were on hers in the next second, his hand coming up to tangle in her hair.

Astrid’s body responded without instruction. She moaned as her lips parted, welcoming him to deepen the kiss. And he did greedily. Then in one swift motion, he leaned forward even more, lowering her onto her back, and shifted himself on top of her.

She closed her eyes, her brain adrift. She was lost in the taste, smell, and feel of him. Of the heat of his skin under her hands, of the way his tongue danced with hers, of the pressure of his hips against her own. She was completely immersed in the moment.

Her hands slipped under his coat and ran along the defined muscles of his back. Erec groaned against her mouth, the sound desperate and full of need. He pressed his hardness against her stomach, and she gasped. For someone who had just told her he’d made a mistake being with her like this, his body said something entirely different.

But she wasn’t any better. When it came to him, there were things she had told herself and then couldn’t follow through on. It was all so confusing. She couldn’t trust herself or make sense of what was happening, but she didn’t want to think about that now. All Astrid knew for sure was that this felt right, them being together. She didn’t want it to end.

His hand found the waistband of her stockings, slithering underneath the stretchy fabric to the apex of her thighs. As his knee came up to separate her legs, he applied the smallest bit of pressure with his thumb to the most secretive part of her. Moaning, she opened her thighs wider for him, her body responding to his touch on its own.

“Astrid.” His words came out in a husky pant. His tone said he was trying to resist, but the swift, aggressive nature of his touch said the opposite. That despite the conflict raging inside him, he couldn’t ignore the need thrumming between them.

He slid one finger past the tightness of her lower folds and then another. She sucked in a sharp breath as he filled and stretched her, mind reeling with pleasure.

“Dammit, Astrid,” he panted against her lips. “Being with you—this—it feels right but wrong at the same time. None of it makes sense.”

He stroked her up and down, in and out, as his thumb rubbed her sensitive nub at the same time. She trembled, but he didn’t stop, only sped up his pace.

“I know.” The words came out on their own.

Breathing hard, Erec pressed his forehead against hers. As he stared deeply into her eyes, she saw torment captured in his lustful stare. “When I heard the wolves’ howls, I could think of nothing else but getting to you. I thought I’d lost you.”

He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I would have never forgiven myself.”

What did he mean? Was he just feeling guilty about leaving her alone in the camp, or did he— Was it possible he cared about her? For a moment, her common sense floated back to her from a distant dream. This was all happening so fast. Her and him. Like this. Why did it feel like she was spinning out of control? Losing herself completely?

Astrid reached up and placed her hand on the side of his face, feeling the tickle of his stubble against her palm. He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes.

“I don’t…understand this…” he whispered.

She didn’t, either. But when his lips brushed against hers again, she arched up and captured them for another kiss. He didn’t fight it. He kissed her with even more fervor than before, the building passion between them silencing any lingering doubts. At the same time, his fingers continued to play with her until a delicious pressure began to build in her lower abdomen.

When her climax peaked, everything inside her unraveled at once. Every nerve ending ignited, sending the world spinning around her. She gasped, but Erec’s lips muffled the sounds of ecstasy while he continued to ride out the waves of her orgasm.

When the fever finally ended, she stared up at him, dazed. “Erec…I…”

The sound of footsteps outside the tent shattered the reverie.

“Erec?” a male voice called.

Erec’s gaze snapped over his shoulder to the tent’s entrance. “It’s Henrick,” he rushed. He was off her and on his feet in seconds, leaving a chill where his body used to be. “I should go.”

Astrid pushed herself onto her elbows. A jumble of conflicting thoughts collided in her head, making her temples pound. Part of her wanted to tell him to stay. That Henrick didn’t really need him. He could handle whatever it was himself. Ignore him and be with her. While the other part of her wanted to scream at him to get out.

It all hovered on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t utter any of it. She stayed quiet as Erec tiptoed to the tent’s opening.

Before leaving, he hesitated and glanced at her once more. In the flickering orange light, uncertainty clung to the shadows of his face. Then, he sighed, pulled back the canvas flap, and stepped outside.

Another icy gust of wind rushed into the tent, extinguishing the candle beside her.

Astrid was left alone in the dark.