5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Liam

F or the past thirty minutes that I've been here, with my eyes following her every movement, I haven't mustered up the courage to walk up to her.

I glance down at the flowers in my hands, and I almost change my mind and make someone give them to her for me. The last few times I've done that, though, I wished I had just spoken to her, so I just do it. I walk over, and the minute her eyes land on me, I see the confusion grow on her face.

"What are you doing here?" She sounds so bitter, but I keep my feet planted.

"Hi, Mom."

She looks back out the window with a huff of disapproval, and I almost walk away, but I swallow the sour taste in my mouth and crouch to her level. "I got you flowers."

"I'm not blind."

I feel a smile touch my lips because she has the nerve to wonder where I get my attitude from. I don't say anything, and when she turns to me, I see her confusion again.

"What are you doing here?"

I study her for a beat, then raise the flowers.

"Are these for me?"

I look between her lost eyes, and I suddenly feel so small. She looks back over at me, and I nod in return before kissing her hand.

"Yeah, Mom. They're for you."

She takes them, and after bringing them to her nose, she looks back out the window. I sit there with her for a few minutes, and when it starts pouring rain, I watch her close her eyes peacefully to the sound of the thunder.

"It's a beautiful day," I say, hoping it'll jog any memories of when she'd say that whenever it rained, but then she looks over at me with a wave of new anger.

"Why are you here?"

I might walk into oncoming traffic if she asks me that again.

I let out a soft sigh and force myself to speak as nicely as humanly possible. "I came to spend some time with you." I reach for her hand, and when she snatches it away, I decide we're done here.

" Now you want to spend time with your family?"

I immediately rise, but I don't think I can get out of here fast enough.

"Where were you when Shanti died?" She looks up at me with so much hate, I don't even recognize her.

"Goodbye, Mom."

I turn on my heels, but she barely lets me take a step.

"Of course, you're leaving. It's what you're good at."

I stand there for a full breath before I walk off. My eyes land on Capri, Mom's nurse, and she's already making her way to me.

"Liam–"

"Call me if she worsens."

"You should–"

" Call me if she worsens." I try to walk around her, but she steps in my way with her hands up.

"You really should stay, Liam."

I let out an annoyed breath, and I feel myself getting hot with anger.

"You have to remember that she doesn't mean what she says, I know–"

"You don't know, and she certainly sounds like she means everything that comes out of her mouth, now if you'll excuse me I–"

"You said you'll spend half an hour with her." She sends me a pointed look, and I hate that she cares so much, but it's good that she does.

"I've been here for–"

"You have not spent the entirety of your stay with her." She gives me a warning look when I roll my eyes, but I don't apologize. "Go back and try again; she doesn't look angry anymore."

"She's always angry."

"She isn't. She has Alzheimer's ." She reminds me.

My eyes snap back to Capri, and she gives me a sympathetic look.

"So it's just me she's angry with; that's great to know." When I walk off this time, she grabs a hold of my hand.

"It'll be good for her if you stay a bit longer, Liam."

I don't turn around, but she goes on. "You haven't seen her in a while. She doesn't spend a lot of time with the other residents, and it's important that she socializes."

I turn now. "Well, if it's so important, and she's clearly not getting that here, then maybe I'll have her moved."

She lets my hand fall, and she shakes her head softly. She doesn't say anything else, but I let out a breath.

"I know you're just trying to help." My voice comes out a bit gentler, and Capri looks up at me like she's waiting for more, but I don't offer anything else.

"And I know you're trying to apologize, so I'll wait."

"You do that." I walk past her, and just as I do, I hear her let out a quiet laugh. Capri has been my mom's nurse since I first brought her here just over two years ago. I didn't want such a young nurse, but she really is the best. I know she knows I don't mean the shit I say, but I tell myself not to bite the hand that literally feeds my mom.

I almost get a chair to sit beside her, but I honestly don't think I'm going to stay those full thirty minutes, so I stand behind her instead as we face the window.

"What'd you do today?" I watch her reflection as she opens her eyes, and when she hums in thought, I let out a relieved breath.

"I think I went for a run." She nods to herself like she actually believes that. She isn't that old, and she can definitely run, but she doesn't . Even before she got sick, she hated running.

"I don't think you did." I watch her reflection morph into confusion, and I feel myself growing angry that this disease is killing her brain slowly. "I'm kidding, Mom. You did go for a run."

She doesn't look confused anymore, and that's all that matters right now.

"I need to start cooking dinner soon." She stands from her seat, and I almost stop her, but then she walks over to the table. "Come help me."

I watch her as she takes out a puzzle, and I have absolutely no clue if she thinks she's cooking or if she meant to say she wants to do a puzzle, but I sit across from her at the table and do the damn thing.

We work in silence, and whenever she starts putting two pieces that don't fit together, I swap them for ones that do. She only hums here and there.

"Okay, sweetie, I seriously need to get to work now."

"We didn't finish–"

"Really, Liam, you're going to make me late." She rises from her seat. "I love you, bye." She kisses my hair and rushes over to the couch for a bag I can only hope is hers because she pulls papers out and starts writing.

She didn't work before she came here. I don't remember her ever having a job, but I continue the rest of the puzzle as I steal a few glances at her and she looks focused on whatever she thinks she's doing so I don't join her when I finish the puzzle.

I'm still watching her when Capri comes next to me. "Will you be joining us for lunch?" She sounds hopeful, but I shake my head as I rise from my seat.

"I should go."

"You don't need to."

I look down at Capri, and she's watching my mom with a smile. "She's the CEO of a different business every day."

Miss CEO now has a phone to her ear. I look at Capri in confusion, and she reassures me that the phone only works with the people in the house, so the only people she can talk to are the nurses.

"Thank you for everything, Pri." I walk over to my mom before she can reply, and just as I do, she looks like she's about to lose her shit.

"Liam!"

"Mom!" I fake my surprise, but it's dripped in a dry tone, and it only confuses her more or maybe makes her angrier, I'm not sure.

"Sweetheart, please, okay? I'm very busy right now."

"I'm sure you are."

She sent me a pointed look, and I'm honestly surprised she picked up on my sarcasm.

"I was just leaving. I came to say bye."

"Oh." She stops shuffling her papers and just looks around at all of them like she's trying to make sense of something. "If you really would rather be out with your friends than help me with Shanti, then that's fine."

"What?" I feel my blood run cold and it's like I'm seventeen all over again and we're having that same fight.

"Now she's crying." She shakes her head and turns for something but stops to say something else. "I'm not going to stop you from going to this party, Liam. It's New Year's, and you want to be with your friends, I get it, okay? I–"

"You were seventeen once, too. I know, Mom."

She studies me, and I say what I wish I had said that day. "I'm not going to that stupid New Year's party. I'm going to stay here with you and Shanti."

Her smile is back, and when she pulls me in for a hug, I feel my mouth suddenly dry. I clear my throat and hug my mom. Letting my eyes fall shut, I take in a breath of her flowery scent, but then she pulls away too soon and walks off.

I don't know if she's really stuck reliving that day again, but I decided to stay for lunch in case she is because I need her to think I stayed with her that night.

Halfway through lunch, though, she asks who I am, and I respond with a tight smile before I get up to leave.

I'm just about to reach the door when I hear Capri from behind me. "Will you be at the next family night?"

I stall but don't turn to face her as I try to imagine how that would go. If she's angry with me the entire time, it won't be fun for either of us, and if she doesn't even remember me, then I would rather not come at all.

Before she got sick, we were really close, and before we lost Shanti, we were even closer, but now… It's just too hard to be around her, and I'm giving it my best shot, but it's not enough.

"I have a lot of back-to-back games at the start of the season."

I hear her sigh from behind me, but she doesn't push anymore.

"But I'll try to come." When I turn around, Capri is watching me with a hopeful smile, and when I glance behind her, my mom laughs at something one of the nurses says.

I watch her smile for a few seconds, but when my chest suddenly feels heavy, I walk out in a hurry.

It's not raining anymore as I slip my helmet on, and I soak the freeing feeling as I speed down the street.

Jordan starts calling me, and I don't answer, but he calls again, and it's ringing in my damn helmet, so I just pick up.

"Liam!"

"Sage?"

She lets out a breath, and I slow down a bit.

"Where are you?" She goes on before I can answer. "Jordan told me you won't be here today? What the heck!"

I shake my head at her, and I don't think this girl knows what a curse word is. "I'm sure you can find someone to take your pictures. The world will keep rotating without me."

She sighs again, and I bite my tongue not to laugh at how dramatic this woman is.

"Moon has been taking them for me, and I love him, but they are not the same. You need to get here. Right now, mister."

I roll my eyes at how she says she loves Moon. He's been tagging along to all of our shoots the last few days, and I don't think it's an exaggeration when Sage says they're besties .

"Not the same huh? I'm flattered." My tone is drier than the desert, but she laughs as if it weren't. I steady my bike so I don't have to hold it as I drive down the street and fix my helmet. I also turn my volume down because while she has a beautiful laugh, I can't hear anything else around me.

"Are you driving right now?" She must've heard the honking around me, but I grab onto the handle again and speed off before responding. "Wait, you're on your bike ? Why are you on the phone?"

"Because you're having a heart attack over my absence."

She laughs again, and it should not do the things it does to me. I tell her she's in my helmet, and she says she knows that but voices how I shouldn't be distracted, and her sweet laugh sure is a damn distraction.

I speed up, trying to fill myself with adrenaline rather than lust, but all I can think of is her in that damn lingerie set.

When Capri called me, I didn't want to come to see my mom, but after having a hard-on for half of Sage's photo shoot, I quickly realized if I spent another day with her, I wouldn't be able to stay away.

I came to LA with the excuse of seeing my mom, and with Sage's project ending soon, I figured I could just get out of the end of it, but now she's calling me as if her world is ending.

"So you're on your way, right?"

"I'm in LA and–"

"I can send you a jet."

"Sage–"

" Please come."

Fuck. I'm fucking fucked.

"Fine," I tell her I have my own plane, which surprises her for some reason, but five hours later, I'm in New York for her.

In the time it took me to get here, I guess she told everyone to leave and come back once I arrived because they only just started setting up when I walked in.

"Liam!"

I turn around, and Sage beams as I walk over to her. She glances down at my helmet before a confused look covers her pretty face. "I thought you were in LA?"

"I was." I set my helmet aside before leaning against the couch to be at eye level with her.

"Do you have a bike here and in Cali?"

I nod in response, and she picks up my helmet before examining it. "How many bikes do you have?"

"Five."

She nods to herself before picking up my helmet a bit more but freezes. "Do you mind if I try it on?"

"Knock yourself out."

She smiles before slipping it on, and seeing her wear my things isn't helping the whole stay away from her thing. She pulls out her phone and snaps a few pictures before lifting the visor and looking at them.

"This is cute." She nods again before examining how she looks on her camera.

"Please don't use cute in the same sentence as my helmet . It's far from cute. Babies are cute. My helmet isn't cute, it's cool."

She laughs at me, and I snap the visor shut on her, which barely muffles the sound of her growing laughter. "That sounded very defensive."

"Can't hear you."

"I said–"

"Still can't hear you."

She opens the visor, but I shut it again, and she's hysterical . I watch her for a beat, and it's in that moment I decide fuck her brothers and fuck staying away.