15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Sage

I don't know why, but I always get a bit nervous before castings. They always end up going really well, but it's still nerve-wracking, especially when it's with the agents who don't say anything and just sit in the corner judging.

I'm fifteen minutes early when I arrive, but I call August like I normally do before my castings or anything else that makes me nervous. He's good at making me feel better.

"Hey, Sage."

"Hi—what in the world are you doing?" I turn my head to the side but then flip my phone over because he's upside down.

"I saw something about blood flow to your head helping headaches."

I feel my brows furrow as I try to think of how that even makes sense, but it doesn't.

"Hazel did my braids too tight, so I'm trying to see if this helps." He explains, but the reason for his headache isn't the reason I'm confused.

"Your twin's an idiot."

I feel my smile return at the sound of Sire's voice. "Sire! Let me see him."

August tosses the phone, and Sire catches it. "You look so pretty." Sire smiles at me through the camera.

"You don't call me pretty."

My jaw slightly drops at Lis's voice.

"Because you're not."

I break into a laugh at how serious he sounds. Most siblings bully each other and say we're ugly, but Sire has never been like that with me. August sometimes is when Sire isn't around to scold him, but for the most part, they never joke about my looks, and I appreciate that our sibling bond isn't like that. Sire is clearly like that with Lis, though; you'd think he hates her.

"It's a freaking family event in there. I feel so left out. What are you guys doing?" I see Lisette walk over, but Sire pushes her away when she tries to take the phone.

"Get away."

"Let me talk to her!" They fight for the phone, and August yells about not dropping his phone just as it falls. "Was your screen already broken?" Lisette sounds guilty, and I'm positive this was her fault, although she's going to blame it on Sire.

"Are you kidding me?" August doesn't sound too mad, and I'm sure he doesn't care at all, but Lis quickly defends herself.

"It's Sire's fault!"

I burst into a laugh. I freaking called it.

"I just wanted to say hi to Sage, and he just needs to be a fucking asshole. Give me the–"

"Just take it."

I watch as he aggressively shoves the phone to my sister.

"Don't–" She swings at him. "–shove me."

"Hey! Stop hitting each other!"

"Oh please don't start, Sage." Before I can tell her not to be rude, she finally looks down at the phone with a smile. "You do look pretty."

I smile back at her as I thank her. "How are you doing?" I watch her closely and she looks pretty good. Better. She's been struggling with her addiction, hence the reason for her new emotional support animal, a turtle. I know she and Sire have been talking, and she seems… lighter.

While August and I always tell them they can talk to us, I think they find more comfort in talking to each other.

"I'm fine." She shakes her head at something. "I really am fine, Sage. Stop looking at me like that."

I change whatever look is on my face and give her a smile. "That's good." I nod in return. "I just wanted to check in, I feel like we don't hang out as much."

"Yeah," she rolls her eyes playfully. "Because you prefer hanging out with our loser brothers."

I let out a soft laugh as the boys shout that they're not losers, and she smiles over at me.

"Oh, don't give me that. You're literally with them right now, without me , and were invited to get coffee with us the other day and bailed."

She uses the excuse that she didn't feel like being around to hear Sire and his lovely ex-girlfriend argue all morning and I get what she means, I was the one who told her they sorta argue like a divorced couple. I thought those two were on good terms. Sire got injured a while ago and Vidia has been his physical therapist, but it's clear they don't like each other very much or at least they act like they don't.

We all bet on how long it was going to take for them to get back together. I said before their first game came up. Hazel bet after Vidia's birthday, and August said before the summer ends. Lisette is giving it til Thanksgiving, but I definitely don't think it'll take that long.

"How's it going with your modeling stuff?" Lis pulls me out of my thoughts. "You still loving it?"

"Of course I am."

She smiles through the screen as I continue. "I don't think modeling is something you can do if you don't love it. It gets stressful, especially since we're influencers to such a huge audience."

I've never gotten backlash or canceled for anything, but people can be so mean. I've had to put filters on my comments, but somehow, I still get hate on everything I do. For the most part, I get positive reactions, but the negative ones have left me in tears from time to time. I don't understand how someone can be angry enough to make a mean comment about how I look and act when they've never met me, but they definitely find ways to get under my skin.

I'm grateful my supporters are quick to defend me. I looked back at the comment I got the other day about my weight, and the replies turned into hundreds of thousands of comments from my supporters, tearing them to shreds. I might end up deleting the entire post because it's getting to the point where death threats are being made, and nothing should ever be that serious. After years of being a social media influencer though, I'm still learning to not read the comments and to definitely not reply. Most of the time, they comment mean things for a reaction.

"Good." Lisette nods once. "You better let me know if anyone is being an online bully so I can fight in your comments."

I tell her I will, even though I definitely won't. She can get a bit… aggressive.

"I have a casting soon. That's actually why I called. I'm nervous."

Sire leans into the frame and tells me not to be and that, I got this . It's cute, but this is why I call August when I'm nervous.

"That's so motivational, Sire. I'm sure she appreciates that." Lis rolls her eyes at our brother. "Get the hell out of here."

I bite back a laugh when Sire's jaw drops.

"Listen, you asshole, how about you look for your damn turtle before I step on it."

Lisette literally threatens to kill him, and August thankfully takes the phone back.

"Come save me from them, Sage. They've been fighting all morning."

"Why?"

"Because he lost Piglet!" Lisette shouts.

Sire says he cooked her turtle, and I think they start fighting again, but my twin and I ignore them per usual.

"I have to go in there soon, August."

"What's the worst thing that can happen?"

I smile at his usual question, and I sit there thinking about the worst-case scenario. "I could trip as I do my walk and break my leg." That's my biggest fear because then I can't even get up and walk it off because my leg would be broken!

"It could be worse than that, you could bump into the agent, spill their hot coffee on their limited edition designer shirt, and then when they tell you to forget about it and just do your walk, you trip, but as they try to catch you, you drag them down and break their leg."

I laugh at his scenario and definitely feel better. He always comes up with the worst-case scenario when I'm nervous, and I don't know how he always makes a different horrible situation.

"If that doesn't happen, it went well, right?"

"Yeah, thanks, August. I have to go now. I love you guys!"

"Love ya!" Sire yells out first.

"Don't break a leg!" Lis calls out next, and I laugh at her.

"Bye, Sage. I love you most."

I smile to myself at August's usual words before I hang up. I don't think he actually loves me the most because I don't think he could pick a favorite since he's so indecisive, but it's cute that he says that instead of Love you more or Love you too .

I climb out of my car and make my way into the building. After letting them know I arrived, I sat in the waiting area with a few of the other girls. I talk to them for a bit, then go back to my seat and listen to some music.

I'm not too nervous anymore, but I like a few minutes alone before I go in, so I blast my ears with some Adele. I make sure to keep my attention on the door in case they come out and call me since I can't hear much.

After the first two songs play, I glance around the room, and I notice a few girls talking to each other, but they keep glancing at me. I think someone may have said something to me that I didn't hear, so I pause my music.

"You're so mean." One of them laughs softly, and they look away from me, so I assume they aren't talking to me, but before I can hit play, the other girl responds.

"Is it mean if she doesn't know?"

I keep my eyes on my phone, but I feel my brows furrow at whatever they're talking about.

"I'm just saying," she laughs again. "I didn't know this was a casting for plus-size."

I go still, but I don't look over again.

"At least she's pretty."

The other girl lets out a scoff. "That's all makeup."

I almost glance around the room now because I'm not wearing any makeup, but I know I'm the topic of their conversation since I'm the only plus-size girl in the room.

"I guess it's good she wore makeup, but we're modeling with our body, not face, and her body is–"

"Sage Loana?"

I look over at a much younger girl, maybe sixteen, with a smile plastered on my face.

"I'm Ebony, the designer's daughter." She points behind her shoulder with her thumb at the room behind her where her mom, Elaine Wilson, is. "She told me you were out here, and I almost passed out."

I get up to hug her, and she laughs nervously.

"Did she say Sage Loana? As in Sage Hale. "

I hear the girls start whispering again, but I only hug Ebony in return.

"Aw, it's so nice to meet you." When I pull away, she stares up at me in awe, and I can't get over how cute she is. I glance in the mirror behind her, and I can see the shock on the two girls' faces as they realize who they were just bullying, but I look back over at Ebony and keep my smile in place.

"Don't tell my mom I told you but you already got the job."

I laugh at how fast she rushes her words out.

"She's wanted you to model in her shows for months. I think she didn't reach out first to play hard to get and because her ego is bigger than her fake butt."

"Okay," I can't stop laughing now, and she pulls me in for another hug. "Maybe we should not spill all of your mom's secrets, yeah?" I tap the top of her head softly, and she nods before asking for a picture. We take a few, and she rushes back into the room.

I stand a bit taller as I turn to the girls who were just talking about me but are suddenly watching me like they might drop to their knees.

"Wow," one of them starts. "You are so much prettier in person, I-"

"Am I?" I turn my head to the side as I give her a sweet smile. "Or is it all the makeup I'm wearing?"

Her face drops, but I don't say anything else and return to my seat. They're both stuck in a place for a few seconds but then the one who was doing most of the talking walks over to me.

"I am so sorry I said that. I didn't know–"

"That I could hear you? No, that's okay because it's not mean if I can't hear you, right?"

She opens her mouth, quickly closes it, and tries again, but nothing comes out.

The door behind her opens, and they call her name, but before she walks in, I call out to her. "Modeling isn't just about your body, by the way. It's all in the face and walk."

She blinks twice.

"Good luck in there." I look back down at my phone and force myself to stay seated because the other girl is still out here watching me, and I refuse to rush off and let either of them know their words got to me.

When the door opens again, she walks out with tears in her eyes, and I know Elaine just tore her a new one because she's one of those designers. I would normally feel bad since this girl is clearly a baby model, and I'm not saying she deserved it, but maybe it's her karma.

I go in after her and walk over to the table to introduce myself.

"Let's see your walk first, and then we'll take pictures." Elaine keeps her tone neutral, but when I glance behind her at her daughter, she gives me a thumbs up with a huge smile on her face. I give her a small smile before walking to the back of the room.

I showcase my walk twice, and Elaine nods to herself as she writes something down. We take some pictures next, and I expect her to stay seated, but she gets up and stands behind the photographer as I pose.

"She's beautiful." Her voice comes out just above a whisper, and I almost thank her but realize I wasn't meant to hear that. I smile to myself as I look back over at the camera and give them a few more poses.

When we're done, she says she'll be in touch, and that's all I get before walking out. A lot of designers and agents are different at these things. Some are super friendly, others don't say a word to you, and the best tell you what you did wrong, nicely or not. You really never know what you're going to get, which is why I'm so nervous about these things, but her daughter definitely made me feel better. Even if she had no clue what she was talking about and I didn't get the job, it was nice meeting both of them.

I feel my stomach grumbling when I walk out because I made sure not to eat before coming here, but either way… I don't have the appetite. I feel the back of my eyes stinging as I think of how those girls were just laughing at me, and I know I shouldn't care what they think, but I do , and I hate that I do. I have Killian's photo shoot next, so I head to his studio. He's a friend I met in the modeling world, but I recently learned he's friends with Vincent Moore, which was a surprise to me.

I ate all day yesterday since my appetite was back, so I don't feel lightheaded as I go through the day on an empty stomach, but I grab a coffee anyway.

When I walk into his studio, I'm shocked it's so nice here. Someone brings me to Killian, and his face lights up when he sees me.

"Sage, thank you again for coming, love."

I tell him it's not a problem, and I lean in to hug him. "How did your photo shoot go?"

"It was a casting, but it was good."

He ends up taking me to the changing room, and I get dressed before they do my makeup to match the look he's going for. I have my hair in Fulani braids this week, so we don't have to style my hair.

I take a few solo pictures, then to my surprise, I take some with Killian, but we're done a lot faster than I was expecting, and I'm not complaining.

"Thank you for having me today. It was fun." I hug Killian goodbye, and when he pulls away, he kisses my cheek.

"Thank you for coming. All of your pictures came out stunning." He takes my hand. " You are stunning."

I keep my eyes on him as he brings my hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it softly. I try not to read too much into it, but a few of my friends said they think he has a crush on me, but I'm not too sure.

I give him a smile before waving goodbye.