30. Amber

Chapter thirty

Amber

“ W e’re here,” Eldrin suddenly said to me the next morning, his steps on the path coming to an abrupt stop.

We were only roughly an hour into our day’s journey, and we were now at a place in the forest that was oddly…still. No breeze. No birds. Nothing. I looked above and around me, at the fallen leaves that blanketed the ground. Nothing moved. I half-expected skeletons to be propped up under the trees, this part of the woods carried that heavy of an aura of death and fear. Nothing like the tender moments we had shared with each other last night, when Eldrin admitted that his feelings for me were beyond even what I suspected, but were exactly what I had hoped. No, this wasn’t a place to think of such things .

“You’re sure they’re here?” I asked. For all that the area sent shivers up my spine, nothing indicated that this was a home to giant spiders. Giant spiders with deadly poison and gruesomely sharp teeth.

“Yes.” He gestured towards a dead oak tree. “They live there. Veinwart live underground in colonies, buried under rotting trees.” He paused. “I can hear them. Under the ground.”

The bark was peeling off the desiccated tree trunk in thick sheets, and the few remaining limbs it had were barely hanging on. This was where those massive spiders lived? It seemed doubtful to me. For one, the oak tree was far too small to hide a veinwart, even if the bulk of the colony was underground. And two, the area was too clean. Weren’t there supposed to be giant spider webs, desiccated carcasses, or something? No, instead this was a bucolic autumn forest that was just a bit too…quiet. Eerie, yes, but just quiet.

My stomach flipped. The spiders were here, mere yards from me. This was a bad idea. I could change my mind—Eldrin would be happy if I did.

But if we didn’t try this, what other option did I have that was any better?

The memory of the spider’s bite surfaced, my original wound throbbing as if it remembered exactly what had happened to me. And I had to brace myself for it to happen again. I was going to put myself through that. Again .

“Assuming they’re here,” I said, not taking my eyes off the trunk, “how are we going to get one to bite me?”

“I’ll catch it.” He searched my face, as if looking for any sign of doubt. If he saw anything, he didn’t say.

I placed a hand on my hips. “You’re going to catch a spider that could eat a poodle for breakfast?”

Eldrin cocked his head. “That sounds like a challenge.” A challenge? He was ready for one. He was ever the assertive prince, even all battered and alone in the forest. His robe hung over him, frayed and stained, the flowers long smashed or torn off altogether. The bones still hung onto the cloak, apparently being made of sterner stuff. His abs shone in the light, rippling with every movement. It was all I could do not to stay in one place and not see if he wanted to do something else before I died.

“What if it bites you?” I asked.

“It won’t,” he said confidently. “And remember, even if it does—elves don’t react to the venom the same way you do.”

“That’s right, you’re a chosen child of the forest,” I jested.

“Correct.” He smiled, but the corners of his eyes were weighed with worry. About me. There was a lot to worry about.

I needed a moment. Didn’t Catherine Howard need some time before her execution, practicing how she would lay her head on the block? If she could take her time, so could I.

I sighed and sat on the ground, resting my aching legs, which were cut with a bunch of tiny little scrapes and scratches from plodding through the woods. My poor feet had it worse, the slippers all-but worn away. Blisters had long since formed, popped, and reformed baby blisters of their own.

Eldrin joined me, shrugging off that overdressed robe he still had with him. Wearing nothing but his breeches and boots with his daggers strapped around his waist, he was ready for a fight. My eyes were drawn to his arms, how they were nothing but evidence of raw strength. His silver hair was tousled, his skin scratched, but he was still regal—a king. He sat next to me, his presence an anchor against the storm of what was going to happen.

“Do you trust me?” Eldrin asked.

“Of course. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Technically he did kidnap me, but there were extenuating circumstances.

He nodded, stretching his fingers. “I know this sounds impossible, but we can do this. I will catch one of the veinwart. We will have it bite you near where your original bite is, and then I’ll kill it.”

I appreciated that his tone changed from trying to talk me out of this to supporting me. “The other spiders won’t attack?” I asked. “I’m surprised they hadn’t already.”

“They’re cowards. They won’t attack unless they’re sure they can win.” It didn’t feel like a coward when that last veinwart had its fangs in my neck, but I assumed Eldrin had some esoteric knowledge of mythical spiders that was beyond me.

“…What happens after? After the bite. ”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, and I wasn’t surprised. “I’m not sure how long it will take to see if the cure worked. But once it does, we’re not far from the barrier. We can send you across immediately, if you want. Maybe your people can help.” If it works at all , he left unsaid.

“If I want,” I repeated softly. “You would let me go through the barrier?”

“Yes. I will do whatever you want.”

“But the barrier will break.”

“You are my concern.”

I could do whatever I wanted? I wanted him. I wanted to live with him forever. But there was no home that would take both of us. If he could go to the mortal world, it would be difficult for him, fawned over and hated in equal measure. I couldn’t watch him suffer the slow death of being away from the forest he so clearly adored.

What we had was like a snowflake in a warm hand, perfect and unique, but fleeting, impossible to hold for long.

And here I was, delaying the inevitable. Each breath had brought us closer to when we would have to say goodbye.

“Are you ready?” Eldrin asked, pulling his knives out of their sheaths, the sharp edges glinting in the light.

Ready? Was I ready to be chomped on by a giant spider again? Hardly. But if this was what it took to save my life, or at least avoid what Vanir had planned, then I would do it.

I nodded and we stood. It was time.

And I was the greatest idiot who had ever lived .

My fists clenched at my sides, and my heart raced in my chest, threatening to burst free. My feet, clad in those threadbare slippers, dug into the wet leaves. I should have been running. I shouldn’t be standing here .

I shouldn’t be waiting, staying put and merely watching, while Eldrin walked up to the dead tree and took his knife, slowly dragging it in the ground around the base. The leaves bunched around the knife, but he kept moving, gliding it along in a circle. What was he doing? It seemed like he was marking some boundary.

And then it struck.

A black shape suddenly rose out of the ground under the trunk, lunging at Eldrin. Before I registered that the spider was there, Eldrin already moved, clear out of the creature’s way, its head caught under his arm, and its jaws clamped shut. I had watched him spar before, but those practice sessions were nothing compared to seeing him in action, that fluid dance with death that was as smooth as a river. I blinked once and found that he held the spider with one hand, and his knife in the other, and was approaching me, bringing me the creature that could kill me.

Would kill me.

Now that it was daylight and I knew what I was looking at, the terror from that night resurfaced, and it took all that I had to stay in place. To this creature, I was merely prey, something to be consumed. And I had to let it eat me .

The veinwart was the size of a black lab, its head like a fuzzy black volleyball. Red human-like eyes reminiscent of frozen blood looked at me, the hunger evident in its gaze. Its mouth dropped open, a sticky substance similar to black rubber cement dropping to the ground. When it caught sight of me, the veinwart tensed, and then opened its mouth wider, revealing horrendous fangs the size of knitting needles. The furious spider lunged towards me, only to be held back by Eldrin’s grip.

Hell. No.

“Amber,” Eldrin said, his voice calm, “hold out your arm.”

Hold. Out. My. Arm. To that ?

“Now, Amber,” he said sternly. “I can’t hold it forever.”

“Fuck me,” I muttered, exposing my arm, and slowly—so slowly—moving it towards the creature’s mouth. I locked eyes with Eldrin, trusting beyond trust that he wouldn’t let the thing kill me.

Eldrin adjusted his grip, and the veinwart’s mouth opened wider as I stepped closer, hot breath spreading on my skin. A little squeal emerged from its mouth, like a pig delighting in dinner. Like it was tasting me from my scent.

Oh, fuck me.

This wasn’t going to work. It wasn’t just going to bite, it was going to bite my arm off . It was—

Fire and ice flooded my arm, and agony took over everything. My scream caught in my throat, stopped by the poison that froze my muscles and clenched around my neck. I was both frozen and burning, and I wanted nothing more than to have my skin ripped off, anything so that I didn’t have to feel this.

Did it feel like this before? I felt ice after the first bite, but then my vision blurred, and I passed out. I didn’t remember having my muscles seize in my throat. I didn’t remember my heart feeling like it was splitting in half. My chest constricted, unable to let in air.

Oh, god. Oh, god.

We were wrong. I was wrong.

The bite was supposed to cure me. What it gave me was not life. Nothing I felt screamed life. Instead, we had brought me to my death. I was going to die. I knew it like I knew that the poison was thickening my veins, making it impossible for my wretched heart to beat.

I was wrong. I ruined everything.

“Amber!” Eldrin yelled. Somehow the veinwart was gone from his grip, no longer a concern. Somehow the trees were blurring, the forest becoming a wash of gold, crimson, and brown.

And then, just when black dots overtook my vision, there was nothing.