18. Eldrin

Chapter eighteen

Eldrin

I kept my word to Amber—I hid what I felt for her. I had to, no matter how often our first kiss replayed itself in my mind. No matter how the lightest caress from her hand pushed me to the edge of losing my self-control. I didn’t touch her, other than to occasionally take her hand in guidance, no matter how much the gentle curves of her neck taunted me, her laugh enticed me, and how the sparkle in her eyes as she wove story after story enraptured me entirely.

What if Vanir knew how we felt about each other? Worse, what if he was counting on it? What if he knew of my weakness for her from the start and was just waiting for the opportunity to use her against me? I didn’t voice my concerns to Amber, but seducing the king’s betrothed would give him the excuse he needed to remove me. No one could fault him for executing the one who had violated the future queen. And my downfall would leave her in a danger I didn’t dare contemplate.

“There’s something wrong,” Siliana said from her place next to me. We were watching Amber practice her dance in a courtyard, and she moved fluidly, as if she was born to it. It was entrancing, the way she swirled her hips to an unheard rhythm, gentle movements that I couldn’t be sure weren’t done to entice me. She twirled and met my gaze, giving me a broad smile that I knew was for me and me alone.

But I couldn’t enjoy any of this. The festival was tomorrow. Tomorrow. It would take all the blessings of fate for things to work out for us.

“There’s nothing wrong,” I said to Siliana.

“What are you planning, Eldrin?” Siliana asked, her voice barely audible. “This isn’t just wanting her to do well. I’ve seen how you are looking at her, and how she looks at you. Which means others have, too.”

I crossed my arms, letting the bones of my hand dig into my sleeves. A cool breeze soared through the courtyard, the rustling branches making a music of their own. “I know.” I paused. “There’s nothing I can do for now. And there are many things I forbid to let happen.”

Siliana let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re going to get yourself killed, you know that, right? Your mother would never allow—”

“Vanir has wanted to kill me since the day he took the throne. I’ve been expecting it. ”

“That doesn’t mean you have to hand the opportunity to him. And what about her?” She gestured to Amber. “Vanir is not one to forget a slight.”

“It will be fine. I promise.”

Siliana stared at me. “I hope you know what you are doing. Do you not remember the days before the worlds broke?”

“Always.” I had been locked in my rooms, in what was essentially a glorified cell, with a heavy guard outside the door. Only Vanir’s desire to avoid rattling the court—many of my extended family protested and he couldn’t silence them all—made him delay as long as he did. It was only the twisting of the worlds that had stayed his hand.

I couldn’t let the uncertainty of that time dictate my actions now, not when the stakes had grown so much. We were no longer in the same Darkening Woods, and things had changed. It would be fine. Amber would perform the dance, as she was doing now. It was beautifully done, and there was no doubt that she could beg a boon from Vanir at the end. Vanir would agree to release her from her troth to him, she would keep her word and bind with the barrier, and then she would be free. As free as she could be in a place she could never leave. Surely, Vanir wouldn’t mind if I took her and left him and his rule alone, the human far from sight and me no longer a threat. He’d prefer it.

And Siliana, I didn’t have to worry about her because she dared to be my friend—she was well-connected, and admired, one of the few courtiers who could flit between factions without so much as a ripple. We had shared certain tutors as children as our mothers were good friends. I was her escort at her wedding. Between her parents’ connections and her own, she would be safe. Vanir wouldn’t harm her. It would gain him nothing and lose a lot of respect in the process if he did.

I broke away from my stewing to catch Siliana watching me, disapproval writ on her face. “I’m not sure what you’re thinking, Eldrin,” Siliana said. “But I hope you remember that things with Vanir have never gone as planned before. And only a fool would expect it to be different now.”