Chapter Twenty

Today is the day that I’m finally moving into Rory’s house. I spoke with my father and he was happy for that to happen. He was going overseas on a business trip but said he would be back before we left to see us off on our year long vacation traveling the world. We leave on the thirty-first of December to go to Sunset Havoc. The boys explained that Rory had been invited and he was really excited for it, and if he is excited then so am I.

I have a small bag packed already, deciding to leave everything behind and start over again. There’s no point dragging along bags of things I have no attachments to.

I look around, making sure I’m not forgetting anything, as I send a message to the group chat.

Me: I’m so excited. I’ll be leaving soon.

Each of the guys reply and I take one last look at my room. I hope one day I can have fond memories of living here but right now I don’t. I miss my guys and don’t want to spend another day away from them.

I bounce down the stairs and freeze at the sight before me.

“No,” I say, shaking my head, ready to high tail it back upstairs.

“I’m sorry Bristol honey but I can’t let you leave. It’s not safe for you when you don’t have any memories.”

“But, Dad said,” I stammer looking at the two big men blocking the door.

“Your father lives in a fantasy world and gives you everything that you want. He was happy to have you back but seemed to forget why you were there in the first place. We need you to get better.”

I turn to run back up the stairs and call my dad or the guys but Carter is standing behind me, blocking my path. I have nowhere to run, I’m cornered.

“Why can’t you let me be happy?” I cry, walking down the stairs.

“It isn’t about happiness, the old you knew that. You knew what your duties were and you were happy to fulfill them. The same as your brother.”

“What about my other brother?” I ask.

“The one you killed?” Carter adds from behind me.

“I didn’t.” I say, the conviction in my tone is strong.

“Oh but you did, and your family cleaned up your mess. So the least you can do is go and get help like a good little girl.” he whispers in my ear.

The two big guys close in on me and I dart between them. I have to try to get a message to someone, they need to call my father.

One of the men catches me quickly and sticks me in the arm with something that burns. Within seconds I feel sleepy and he cradles me to his body as my eyelids flutter shut.

***

The pungent but slightly familiar smell of hospital grade disinfectant invades my senses. The room is silent besides the sound of beeping, an indicator I’m in the hospital. Squeezing my eyes closed tighter, I pray this is a case of Groundhog Day. The sinking feeling pulling away at my gut makes me well aware this isn’t the same hospital room I woke up in all those months ago.

Opening my eyes, I keep my focus pinned on the ceiling. The lights are dimmed and there are no windows, so I have no clue what time it is. My gaze swivels around the room, disappointment setting in. I’m all alone. My arm clinks against the cold metal bar keeping me caged in, I try to wriggle my wrist but panic sets in, my chest closes in on itself when I realize I’m strapped to the bed. The beeping escalates and the machine goes crazy as I thrash about. This isn’t a dream, they really sent me back. I don’t remember the first time I was here, just the feeling of dread that’s associated with it.

The automated doors to my room slide open, damn someone forked out on the finer details. A large aging woman walks into the room pushing a cart, the contents rattling against the metal tray.

“You’re awake finally, just in time for your meds.” She says in a cheery voice. Her tone suggests she knows me, but I have no idea who she is.

“I’m not sick.” I snap pulling at my wrist constraints. She moves closer and parks her cart next to my bed, removing a very thick binder.

“Maybe not physically Bristol but nonetheless, you still need to take them.” She uses a biro from her breast pocket and signs something placing the binder back on the tray.

“Uncuff me and I’ll take them then.” I’m pretty positive I can outrun her, all I need is to find a phone. If I call the guys they will come get me. Mercer wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Nice try missy,” she tsks. “I learned the hard way that you’re very fast on your feet.” She holds up a needle in the air and flicks at it before taking a step closer, then pushes my gown up to reveal my thigh.

“Stop! What are you trying to poison me with?” I screech, thrashing my legs about. It’s no use, she jabs me and walks over to a sharps container, disposing the needle.

“Poison, really Bristol? That’s a little over the top even for you.” She shakes her head, takes her stupid trolley and leaves me chained up to the bed like a damn animal.

No amount of screaming brings anyone to my room, crying only wears me out. Closing my eyes I see the guys, the smooth sound of Maximus’ voice telling me he loves me. I know how crazy it sounds but I love them all in their own ways. They complete me; Levi is my voice of reason, Mercer is my protector, Rocky is the fun everyone needs in their life, Maximus can see into my soul and Rory, he loves so hard, he would never admit it.

The sliding doors to my room open again and I force myself to look in that direction. Whatever that nurse gave me has made me drowsy. A man in a white coat walks in followed by two other men who stand by the door.

“Good afternoon Bristol, the nurse said you were talking again today. It’s been quiet while you were mad at us.” I don’t say anything, my thoughts seem slow. “If you promise to behave I’ll have one of the staff get you up out of bed and we can have a chat in my office. Remember only good behaviour will allow you to leave your room.” I nod. I have no idea why I’m locked to the bed or how long I have been here. Maybe if I go to his office he can explain what’s going on.

The guy at the door uncuffs me, but I’m way too drowsy to walk. He helps me into a wheelchair and he wheels me down a long corridor. We head out past what looks to be a dining room and I take in the people wondering if I remember any of them. My eyes slide to a woman who seems familiar, her eyes go wide and her brows dip. It’s obvious she knows me. We go down another corridor after being buzzed in through a set of double doors. Once we get to this office, I’m parked in front of a large desk and he walks back out of the door, the doctor passing him on his way in.

That woman, I remember her now. It was Rory’s mum, she didn’t look as well kept as I have seen her in the past but it was definitely her. I would bet my life on it.

“It's nice to see you again.”

“I would say the same, but I can’t remember you. When do I get to leave?”

“That all depends on you actually. I can see from your file that you’re having delusions about some boys you met when you ran away but you never left Bristol. You attacked a nurse a few months ago and ever since then we have been trying extra one on one therapies, but you haven’t made it easy for us.”

He’s lying, he has to be. There’s no way I made them up. Wait, he just said it’s nice to see you again.

“You just said it was nice to see me again.”

“I did and I’m talking about Bristol.”

“I don’t remember being Bristol, you know that.”

“Maybe I do, but you have created so many personalities over the years.”

Personalities? What the hell is he talking about?

“I thought we might try something different this time. How about you tell me about these boys and we can try to figure out why your subconscious is fabricating them.”

“You’re lying, they are real.” I scream.

“Then humour me and tell me a little about them.”

“Fine.” I huff. “They found me on a beach.”

“And why were you on the beach?” He asks.

“I was beaten and naked. I don’t remember why or how I got there.”

“Tell me what happened.” He says, folding his hands on his desk, giving me his full attention.

“I woke up in hospital and five guys had saved me. Maximus found me first, he doesn’t talk but we had our own way of communicating. Then there was Mercer, the sound of his voice would keep me in the moment, stopping any panic attacks I had. Levi is the rational one, the one who keeps them all together. Rocky is so funny and energetic and Rory…Rory was arrested.”

My head is jumbled, Rory was released of the charges, I think. Whatever they’ve given me is messing with my head. Confusing me.

“What was he arrested for?” He asks.

“For kidnapping me.”

“Did he really kidnap you?”

“No, I ran away. I don’t remember why but I didn’t want to be here anymore.”

“Do you think your subconscious manifested these boys after your brother was killed to help you manage the grief?”

“My brother was killed?” I ask confused.

“Yes, that’s why you had to come back here. Don’t you remember that?”

I shake my head no and mutter, “I don’t remember that.”

“You were very close to Milo, he would always protect you.”

“Was I sad?”

“Your parents brought you in that same day, you wouldn’t stop screaming. We had to sedate you to keep you calm and you wouldn’t talk to anyone. Well not until today that is.”

“I’m so confused. I haven’t been here in months.”

“It’s okay, we can work on that, talking is a good first step. We need to work through the reasons for believing you had a relationship with these boys, as soon as we do that you will be a step closer to going home.”

I never mentioned a relationship, but I now know how to get myself out of this place. I have to be one step ahead of them at all times.

“Will my parents be visiting me?” I ask as I play with a loose thread on my shirt.

“As soon as we give them word that you’re stable, they will be allowed to visit.”

“Okay, I’m a bit tired. Would I be able to go back to my room and rest now?”

“Certainly, I will get someone to walk you to your room.” I nod, I can’t argue that I’m capable of walking myself. He picks up his phone and asks for someone to come to his office and collect me. We sit in silence for a few minutes until a nurse the size of a football player walks through the door.

She grabs the wheelchair and steers me back through the corridors. As we pass back through the dining room, Rory’s mum is gone and I’m starting to think that maybe it wasn’t even her. Someone drops a metal tray and I feel my vision blur, nausea washing over me as I’m thrown back into a memory.

Flash after flash starts to hit me. The same as the last one that I had, except this time when I turn my head I see who holds the gun. I try to scream but it’s no use, I’m stuck here watching as my memory switches to the night Rory and I tried to run away.

I gasp as I come back to the present as the nurse jabs me in the arm with something and my eyes start to feel heavy.

“I know who did it,” I whisper to no one in particular as everything goes dark.