17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

ALEX

O h yeah, there’s that beach dream again. Nice relaxation and the sound of ocean waves. Why am I always alone in the dream though? I felt like there had to be some kind of symbolism there.

I rolled over and there was the most beautiful face staring back at me with a perfect smile. No anger or hostility anywhere to be found. Maybe it was the club and my ex and I should just let it go.

“Good morning,” I said as I reached over, caressing his cheek with the back of my fingers.

“Yes, it is. Would you like to go for a run this morning?”

Nope definitely not. He was way too sexy right now.

“Not today, no. I think just a relaxing morning in bed might be nice.” I inched closer to him and smoothed my fingertips over his amazing shoulders and arms, veering into every dip and over every mound, memorizing the definition. Those muscles alone made my eyes roll back in my head as my fingers fondled their way up and back.

He whispered in my ear, “That’s the only kind of eye rolling I’m good with.”

I groaned and he brought me close, kissing me passionately. He pulled me to him with one arm wrapped around my lower back, skimming the top of my ass and the other on my jaw– fingers brushing the side of my neck, tilting my head to get more access to my mouth before moving down my neck and shoulders. He nipped and sucked his way down my body taking special care not to miss an inch. My back arched off the bed as his mouth and tongue dove right into my center. My hands were splayed out to the side gripping the sheets. He was so urgent and precise, adding his fingers to intensify the sensation. His stubble was rubbing against my inner thighs and the burn of his beard as he whisked his head back and forth, setting me on fire. The exquisite firm, smooth texture of his tongue was like a symphony of pleasure that I would happily return to repeatedly. I couldn’t think about anything other than how amazing he felt right now, and I cried out as the most powerful orgasm exploded through me.

He kissed his way up my body reaching my breasts and giving each of their sensitive peak’s attention before continuing his climb. His lips found mine again at the same time he eased himself inside of me. I felt like I was somewhere else entirely, not having come down from that magical journey yet. The love that I felt for this man and the way he touched me was something I never wanted to lose and was so very grateful to have it back.

If this is how I felt, then surely, he was feeling it too. I was going to put the extra effort in not to flip out on him again or bring up the incident at the club. I’m sure it’s not something I should be worried about, I mean it’s Roman, he isn’t like that. The pressure of the court hearing and my ex is enough to make anyone lose it, right?

Afterward we laid there together, fully sated. I simply admitted, “I’m happy.” Euphoria spread across my face and the weight of the world left me, if only for this moment.

He sighed, “So am I.”

We took a quick shower together and he threw on some shorts, a tee shirt and tennis shoes. I put on a long brown skirt and a white sleeveless button-down collared shirt with brown sandals. My hair was in long waves from last night’s shower, and it didn’t look too bad. I put on a little makeup to cover up the dark circles under my eyes then grabbed my sunglasses and threw them on my head.

Roman was in the kitchen making coffee. “You probably don’t want breakfast, do you, since it’s almost time to leave for brunch.”

He was breakfast.

“I already had breakfast, thank you.” I winked at him, and he shook his head and turned back around.

“You keep that up and you won’t be going anywhere. I’ll be having lunch and dinner right now.” His gravelly voice sent shock waves of pleasure straight to my core. It left me breathless. I crossed my legs to stay in control.

After a few seconds his heavy breathing— I could see from the harsh rise and fall of his chest— he turned around and crossed to the kitchen island. I looked down to the front of his pants noticing he had some control issues himself, and I smiled knowing the feeling was mutual.

“I’m happy I didn’t give up on us. In all honesty I would’ve driven myself crazy if you hadn’t given in to me.” The sincerity beaming from his eyes was enough to make me comply with whatever he would ever want or need from me. Almost.

I said jokingly, “And here I thought you gave in to me.” He walked around the counter, sitting in the chair next to me and turned to face me. He pulled the chair over by the armrests and held me tight, with one hand around my waist and the other caressing the length of my hair as my legs rested between his muscular thighs. I placed my hands on his biceps for support.

“I mean, you were a challenge for me. I was wondering why I was chasing after someone who didn’t want me. That’s kind of a waste of time, don’t you think? I’m not one to do that. I figured there had to be something else to it if I wanted to work this hard.”

“You occupy more space in my head than my own brain does, that's for sure. Even when I had you confused, I somehow knew you’d come back to me,” I said with a sigh, feeling my worry dissipate.

“Then why did you make it so damn hard?” He growled low as he kissed my forehead.

“I don’t know, I guess maybe because I’ve always heard if it’s too easy it isn’t worth it. Maybe my head was telling me it was too good to be true. You know I have issues like that.”

“That’s funny because I usually expect it to be easy and this was anything but that, but definitely worth it.” Weren’t we a pair. Getting to know each other better should be our focus while we’re living together for a couple of weeks.

We headed down to the car and suddenly I didn’t want to let it go, “Roman, can we talk after brunch?” My worried expression returned .

“Of course. Is everything okay?”

“Oh sure, I just wanted to talk about the next two weeks and what happens after that. Not too serious, but we got thrown into this and never had a chance to discuss anything.” He kissed the top of my head and seemed happy I wanted to talk about that, in particular–except that was only part of it.

Sunday brunch , I thought with relief upon entering Sunny Side Up, as I inhaled the delicious aromas that brought me so much happiness. This is where I come to decompress and truly relax or vent.

“Hello Ms. Kennedy, right this way. Mrs. Stevens and Mrs. Fletcher are already seated.” I followed the hostess to the table to find Maggie still wearing her sunglasses in the restaurant.

I walked up laughing. “Lookin’ good, Mags.” I said and peered at Abby who was trying not to laugh.

She put her hand over her face. “I ordered a big freaking Bloody Mary this morning.” Her voice was hoarse and low as she tapped a finger on top of her tall glass. I’m sure she was sporting a headache to go with those glasses.

I thanked the hostess and walked over to Maggie to say hi.

“Oh my God, I can’t take you girls anywhere.” I giggled and kissed the top of Maggie’s head gently in case it really was hurting her.

Abby held it in as long as she could then erupted in laughter, tipping her orange juice in my direction and I tapped it with the mimosa she handed me.

Maggie blurted out, “So, Roman told Matt that you two are living together.” She squinted over the top of her sunglasses. “Ouch” she mouthed and put her glasses back where they were. I rolled my lips to keep from laughing– knowing, now, her head must be hurting.

“I think Matt pressed him because he knew something was going on.”

“It wasn’t a big deal. He just figured Matt and Jack would need to know since they’re my attorneys. Kind of need to know where the person they’re protecting is staying, ya know?” I huffed through my nose before taking a larger gulp of my mimosa this time. “Ever since Friday I feel like I’m in the witness protection program or something. I really hate it— I just want to live my life. If Tanner comes after me on the street, I’ll be ready.” Wouldn’t that be poetic justice?

Abby said, “Yeah, I believe you. I just wish you didn’t need to be so prepared. Seems like a lot to go through because some asshole couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. Maybe Roman will be with you when he does.” I hope that’s all it was. My gut is telling me that’s not all it was.

“That’s what’s bothering me so much though. I have a feeling that Tanner isn’t harmless. I don’t think it was a simple case of couldn’t keep his hands to himself. I think he was out to hurt me.” The girls gave a concerned look. I can only imagine how Roman would react if I told him that’s how I really felt.

Maggie’s face was overcome with fear. “Why do you think that?” She snapped and immediately her hands flew to her head.

Maybe I shouldn’t say this because she seems really sensitive, but we’ve always told each other the truth. “I’m sure he’d been stalking me before that happened. I can't be the first person he’s ever attacked, and I don’t think I’ll be his last if he’s allowed to get out. They still aren’t sure exactly what he drugged me with, just that it was some variation of rohypnol and fentanyl. The usual drugs are out of your system in twenty-four to forty-eight hours, and this shit put me out for four days. He wasn’t messing around.”

Abby started crying. “I don’t know if this is pregnancy hormones or what, but I’m really scared for you now. He needs to go away for a long time.” She choked through the sobs .

I agreed but I’m worried he won’t get an appropriate sentence.

“That’s how I feel too, but his brother is who he is, and he’s already stepped in to get him out on bail. Who knows if anything will happen to Tanner. I mean, I’m pretty sure the max is only ten years for what he did, and he’d be out in a year with our shitty system and his connections.” I sat back in the chair and let my arms fall to my sides.

Maggie shook her head, “Well, do you know what you’re going to do? I thought you said you thought it was Luke who was stalking you? Was that why Roman went after him like that?” She slammed her glasses on the table. I’m guessing she was feeling better after that Bloody Mary. At least good enough to take off her glasses.

I grabbed both their hands to try and get them to relax. “I have an amazing legal team and the best support system a person in my position could ever ask for, so this week I’ll have a better idea of what’s going to happen in there. Plus, the guys put a sleepover together for me this Friday with the kids. They’re staying Friday night and all-day Saturday, so nothing in this world will be bothering me then.” I didn’t think talking about the Roman and Luke incident on top of all this was such a good idea. I hope they didn’t push it further.

The girls each told me they loved me, and they were there for me no matter what. After that deep talk, we ordered brunch and relived the events of last night while laughing uncontrollably.

***

ROMAN

Harrison lived in a trendy shotgun style house overlooking the river. It was a new development that we helped build. It was three stories with a balcony on every floor. It had three bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. One floor was all the kitchen and living room with a half bath. That’s the floor we spent the most time on.

His style was more lived in than mine. He liked lots of color, but it was more sports and music memorabilia than anything. I mean, I liked sports too, but I didn’t want to decorate my house with team merch, and I definitely didn’t know stats the way he did.

I called before I came over in case Amelia was there. Her little white Mercedes convertible was in the driveway. Harrison’s big ass jacked up pickup truck must’ve been in the garage. Amelia answered the door.

“Hey Roman, where’s Alex?” Amelia looked behind me and moved out of the way to let me in.

“She’s at brunch with Abby and Maggie.”

“Oh, that sounds nice. We just made brunch ourselves. Would you care for some food and a mimosa?”

“Food, yes. Do you have any coffee?” I followed her to the kitchen.

“Coming right up. Damn I feel like I’m at work.” She chuckled as she looked back over her shoulder.

“I can get it myself, you know. Where’s Harrison?” I looked around and saw a lot of things that didn’t look like Harrison’s style.

“Shower.” She pointed upstairs.

“What’s up with you today? Everything ok after last night?” She was casually talking while pouring me some coffee and making a plate with some eggs and toast for me.

“You know, it really is. I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve said that, but things are going really well. I’m not trying to jinx it.” I don’t know if she could spot a lie like Alex could, but I didn’t need to explain anything to her.

She nodded with a smile and said, “I bet.” I ignored the inflection in her voice that would suggest she may not believe me either .

After I finished eating, we took our drinks out on the balcony and waited for Harrison.

“This is me being nosy and it’s none of my business, but do you and Harrison live together?” I arched an eyebrow and tried to read her expression before she answered. She was so private I didn’t think she’d just come right out and tell me. If so, it would explain why she used Harrison’s code for my elevator access and the woman’s voice I heard in the background over the phone that morning after Alex woke up in the hospital.

“Yes, you are being nosy.” She looked out over the river view not making eye contact.

“Ok, none of my business, I won’t ask again.” I don’t need to. I already have my answer.

Harrison came out at the end of that conversation and said, “Despite it being none of your business, yes, we are living together now.”

Confirmed.

“Ok, good. Maybe you’ll get to meetings on time now.”

He laughed but said, “Yeah, doubt that.”

As soon as Amelia went back inside, Harrison asked, “Tell me, man, how is everyone with the court hearing coming up? I mean you all were on edge at the club last night.”

“I don’t know. This case seems like it’s cut and dry, but Alex seems apprehensive about something, and I can’t figure it out.” I paused before I got into it with him about the ex-husband. “Luke was a separate situation.”

“What’s she so worried about? That dude wouldn’t do anything stupid like coming after her, would he?” I shook my head while shrugging my shoulders .

“I don’t know what he’s capable of. It went from grabbing her ass calling her names, to drugging and attempted rape. I mean, that escalated pretty quick.”

“Yeah, sounds really fucked up for sure. You be careful with all this, ok? I’ll be in that courtroom with you. I’m pretty sure mom and dad are too.” That’s all she needed was everyone hearing all the sordid details.

“We don’t need this turning into a circus either, though.” I kicked my feet up on the ottoman and drank my coffee trying not to let this conversation piss me off.

“Dad wants the Kings in there to stand up against the Ellingtons. He thought he was done with that feud until this shit happened.” This doesn’t seem like some simple feud.

“What do you mean? Do you think the feud is the reason he went after Alex?” I sat up and turned to face him.

“Not sure but dad seems to think so, maybe. Seems to think he’s coming after you for his dead father’s vendetta.”

I put my head back and let out a deep sigh and said, “Great, so basically, I’ve or we’ve or whomever, put a target on Alex’s back because of our family bullshit? Is that what he told you or are you deciphering something?”

“Maybe I’m reaching. I don’t know. I’m sure Alex had a hand in getting the target put on her own back with what she was doing.” Doing? Nothing she did warranted that behavior.

“Like what?” I snapped. That may have been a little harsh. He put his hands up as if to say calm down. The anger was roaring to life again.

“Nothing bad, just wanting to help those people in that neighborhood and grabbing a guy by the balls…” That seemed to calm me down some.

I started laughing and bringing the mood back down. “Damn, can you imagine what she might’ve done to him if she’d been doing that MMA training back then.” His eyes grew wide.

“She hadn’t even been training yet?”

“Nope, she was already fully capable of taking care of things herself.” We laughed and Amelia came back out.

“Is the locker room talk over yet?”

“Whatever, you were doing your hair. You had no desire to come out here and listen to us.” Harrison muttered.

She smiled and kissed Harrison on the cheek. “You are correct.” She turned to me and gave me a wink. Yeah, it’s still weird to see them together.

After chatting with the two of them for a while a text came in from Alex letting me know she was on her way back to the penthouse. I told her to just text me again when she got in the elevator, and I would put the code in from the app on my phone. She said she had the girls with her and was going to give them a tour. I was good with her being there as long as she had someone with her. I got in my car and headed home.

I noticed an eerie feeling in the garage when I arrived, just like she said, so I called the security office and had them run the tapes back to see if anyone had been in there at any time today other than the usual. I also sent an email to security asking that they keep eyes on the garage and all doors exiting and entering the building. When the elevator doors opened, I was pleasantly surprised by the three very happy faces that were sitting on the couch laughing hysterically.

Maggie waved while holding her breath and Abby said, “Hey Roman. Your place is amazing.”

“Thank you. You ladies seem to be having a good time.” I walked to the kitchen and put my keys on the counter .

Alex snorted, “Yes we were just naming the baby is all.”

I shook my head and grabbed a water out of the fridge. I can only imagine what they came up with.

“What did you decide that was so funny?” I inquired but I was truly unconcerned, knowing that this was probably not the name they were thinking.

Maggie said with a bit of a slur, “We’re going with Bloody Mary or Mimosa.” Ok, someone’s drunk.

I raised my eyebrows and played along, “What if it’s a boy?”

Maggie replied again, “Well since they already have a Jack, it’s going to have to be either Jim, Jose or Johnny.”

Good luck to Matt when this one gets home.

“Well, if it’s all good with Jack, go for it.”

They started laughing again and I went over and kissed Alex on the head. I wended my way back to the bedroom to change clothes and process the conversation I had with Harrison as I tried to keep a level head.

***

ALEX

After the girls left, I went back to the bedroom, to find Roman sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

I walked over and sat next to him putting my arm around him and said, “Hey there. Wanna talk about it?”

He mumbled into his hands, “Yeah, I’m worried.” Oh no, what now?

“About what? Me, the court stuff, what?” I said in an almost panic because I was worried about him and his possible anger issues .

“No…about Abby’s baby.” I shoved him and he pulled me down onto the bed to kiss me.

I pulled away for a second. “Seriously, though, what was that about?” I softened my face and looked him in the eyes, assessing his mood.

“Can we go sit in the hot tub for a bit? We can talk about it in there. I know you could probably use a nice soak in there anyway.” I felt sore the second he said that. I knew I’d been sore all day but hadn't noticed it much until he just mentioned that.

“That sounds like a great idea. I’ll grab a suit real quick.” I agreed. He got up and threw his suit on while I changed, and we left for the gym.

He was right, this felt great. We were both facing out of the hot tub with our arms crossed on the side, our cheeks leaning on them, facing each other, so we could talk.

“Ok, so tell me what has you so distraught?” I smiled hoping it would encourage him to be honest with me.

“Do you remember the first meeting about the Ellingtons at my office when you found out Tanner was the dude who…well was who he is?” Why are we talking about him? Maybe I don’t want to do this after all.

“Yes. I’m not a big fan of that day.” I inhaled deeply and could feel my pulse increase.

He smiled, reaching over to put his hand on my back, probably trying to relax me. I’m sure he could see the anxiety building just from saying his name. “Do you also remember thinking it was your fault they were coming after me. You know because of what you were doing in Burrow Township?”

I couldn’t get a good read on him while he was trying to pacify me. “Yes.” I said almost sounding like a question .

He paused, “Well, they may have been targeting you to get to me and my family. It may not have anything to do with what you were doing in that neighborhood. If they find out about Amelia, she’ll be on the list too, I have no doubt. It was never your fault, it was mine. I should say it was their sick vendetta that caused all this trouble.”

I was frozen. I couldn’t even blink. I could feel my pulse in my eyes. What the hell was he saying? That these people are so sick, that they would go after me and Amelia because they want to hurt the Kings? That’s just messed up. The Kings are such good people. Fine. Tanner wants to play this game, I’m definitely in the mood now. I shook the thoughts of him hurting Roman and his family out of my head, replacing it with him and I in the ring— MMA style.

“Don’t worry about me and Amelia. I’ll take care of Tanner in the courtroom. Matt and Jack can take care of Marcus in the legal and political arena.” That was not at all what I had in mind for Tanner, but now I was determined to bring my plan to fruition.

***

ROMAN

After listening to her I had no idea what was going on in her head, but what I was feeling wasn’t good. It was too intense to be the reaction she was giving me. She was hiding something from me, and it was bringing the anger to the surface again. The night she said she had something planned that I wasn’t going to like was not just drunk speech. Fuck, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.

“Alex, what are you thinking? I don’t want you doing anything crazy. ”

She softened her face trying to placate me, I’m familiar with this routine. “Roman, I’ve got this under control. I have a whole team of professionals helping me control myself. I promise I’m not going to do anything crazy .” The emphasis she put on the word crazy had me thinking she and I have a very different idea of what that means. There’s nothing I can do to make her tell me what’s really going on in her head and I’ve got to control my temper. She’s seen enough of that but she’s testing me, for sure.

She reached over brushing her hand across my cheek as she scooted closer to me. She moved her hand to the back of my neck, kissing me almost forcefully. I could use a little of this. I let her take control and climb on top. She took my suit off while staring seductively at me and tossed it to the side. She reached into the water, grabbing my dick at the base of my shaft and massaged it–priming me for what she had planned. My head fell back at her firm grasp, and I stretched my arms out on the side of the hot tub easing the tension from my body. She stopped and I opened my eyes watching her slowly pull the string on her bikini top letting it fall into the water and float to the other side. She slid her bottoms off, kicking them out of the tub. This I can handle.

I went to grab her hips and pull her to me. She caught my arms before my hands got to her with a devilish smile on her face, pushing my arms back to the side of the tub. As much as I wanted control of this right now, it seemed to be out of my hands and I was trying to let her see that the anger and aggression I showed last night is gone, at least somewhat. This distraction –and that’s exactly what this is for both of us– couldn’t be more welcome. She leaned in taking my mouth with hers sliding her tongue effortlessly between my lips— because, well, damn this is hot and I’m game .

Both of her knees were straddled tight to either side of my hips as she lowered her hot sweet spot over my cock taking it all in. My head fell back with a groan as her inner muscles massaged me working the tension out of every inch of my body. Her hands were still holding my arms in place, her nails digging into my forearms making me wince, wanting to change positions. I’m not sure I’m into pain as much as I am pleasure. The heat from the tub and the jets bubbling up all around us is creating a sensory overload that I may not be able to contain much longer. Every time she adjusted her grip on my arms, she left a new more painful sensation than the first. I pulled my arms from her claws and wrapped my arms around her waist, flipping her around then grabbing her hands, securing them on the side of the tub. My cock now pressed to her backside. I leaned in taking her neck in my mouth, biting just hard enough to get a reaction and sliding in with a swift movement so strong it pushed her against the side. I was wondering if pain was her thing, maybe. She seemed to be rather fond of it as she pressed her ass back into me as I thrust into her harder keeping up with the rhythm. I let go of one hand and wrapped her hair around my fist, holding her in place as I channeled the anger I felt into railing her. She reached back with her now free hand and dug her nails into my ass but I’m too close to give a shit about the pain now. I could feel my release coming hard and fast as her insides trembled around me and her last dig with her fucking nails as she screamed at her own release, and I collapsed to the side of her. I pulled her onto my lap resting my head in the crook of her neck.

She whispered in my ear, “I hope that helped.” I knew she was distracting me from something, and it worked but I wasn’t too fond of the claw marks I had up and down my arms. At least she didn’t draw blood .

I squeezed her and said, “That was perfect, thank you.” She smiled and I kissed her lips softly, wondering if I may have been too rough with her. She didn’t seem to be too upset about it. I let whatever it was bothering me go, for now.

“Let’s go, I'm cooking dinner tonight. We’re going to relax, talk and get a plan going for this next couple of weeks. Sound good?” she asked as she grabbed my hands to help me out of the hot tub. We grabbed our discarded suits and threw on the robes we brought as cover ups and headed back to the penthouse.

She was almost in too good of a mood as she poured us each a glass of wine and danced in the kitchen to the Miley Cyrus concert she had playing on the speakers. If she didn’t think she had control of this empathic stuff, I’m calling bullshit. She knows exactly what she’s doing. I’ve never had that kind of control in my life, and I’ve been working on it for a lot longer than she has. Well, there’s nothing I can do to get her to tell me so I guess I should just be happy she’s in a good mood and still with me. I also hope I can get through all of this without her getting an up close and personal view of my inner demons any more than she already has.

***

ALEX

We got back to the penthouse, showered and changed, then I started going through his fridge and pantry to decide what to make for dinner. Hmmm, his pantry is as big as my closet. I grabbed my phone off the shelf deciding I needed some music to drown out the thoughts of the court hearing for now. I flipped to a station that had a lot of Miley Cyrus on it. I need some feminist beats; this will be perfect. “ Flowers” was the first song to play, and it had my ass gyrating so hard I felt like I was Miley in concert; in the pantry, HA!

Even the music wasn’t enough to stave off the anxiety completely, and I put my hands on my knees, taking one deep breath and then another. It’s hard work trying to pull this off. That’s when I saw a bag of quinoa calling my name and some brown rice. Hopefully he had chicken in the fridge too. He did and some fresh broccoli. Perfect, now I can focus on dinner and not get distracted by the noise in my head. I shimmied all through the kitchen as I cooked and sipped on wine.

Roman was sitting on the sofa watching television, so I called over to him to see if he wanted something to drink.

He came over and sat on one of the stools at the kitchen island. “I’ll have a glass of wine, your choice.” He licked his lips as he looked me up and down stopping on my swaying hips.

I winked, pulling out the nice bottle of chardonnay I had open in the fridge and poured him a glass then topped off mine. He said he came over to watch me cook but that look would suggest he was just ogling me, probably remembering the hot tub, which was fucking insane. I couldn’t control my need to sink my claws into him and mark him, but I don’t think he liked it as much as I did.

“What are you making for dinner, Chef Alex?”

“A yummy garlic chicken over brown rice and quinoa with fresh steamed broccoli.”

He seemed excited and surprised.

“Damn, do I even have all that in my kitchen?”

I laughed. Why wouldn’t he know what he had in his kitchen?

“Don’t you do the grocery shopping?”

He gave me a guilty look and said, “No, Amelia does it for me and has it delivered. ”

“Well, she and I like the same provisions, that’s for sure. We should have her and Harrison over one night for dinner this week,” I suggested.

“Yes, we should. I would love that.” He agreed and tapped his glass to mine. I was starting to feel domestic, and it felt weird. I bet it’s just him rubbing off on me now that I’m trying to get him to stop worrying about me.

After dinner and a couple glasses of wine I announced, “We should discuss the next two weeks.”

He said, without even a second thought, “Move in with me. Forget the next two weeks and just move in.”

Um, excuse me? What the fuck! I thought this was going to be a relaxing night.

I started getting dizzy and my breathing quickened as I stumbled to a chair. “I need to sit down for a minute.” I put my head between my knees. He kneeled in front of me with both hands on the arm of the chair.

“Alex, that’s where we’re headed anyway,” he insisted.

I shook my head. I couldn’t even pick it up to look at him. “Roman, why did you do that? I was so relaxed thinking that this was going to be an easy conversation. I don’t even know what we are right now, and you want to move in permanently?”

“Why does everything have to be so damn complicated with you?” he yelled, sounding really pissed as he laid back on the floor covering his face with his hands to muffle his tone.

I’m complicated? I just wanted to discuss the next two weeks, not forever.

“I could say the same thing about you,” I shouted back while squeezing the life out of the arm of the chair .

“I just know what I want.” He sat up and moved toward me again like a predator about to attack its prey.

“Well, I don’t.” I threw my hands in the air in frustration.

“You can’t say you haven’t thought about it.”

I need to steer this in another direction before I have a full-blown panic attack.

I got up and scrambled away from him. “Roman, I’m going to clean the kitchen and put my clothes in the spare bedroom.”

He practically jumped up off the floor and grabbed my arm, spinning me around.

“Nope, not this time.” He shook his head. “No more subject changes. We’re talking about this, now,” he demanded.

“Fine, I’m not moving in, the end.”

He threw his head back and laughed and honestly it was a bit unnerving. Is this that control freak shit I was worried about?

“Oh, so it’s that simple now, is it? I don’t think so. You told me you want to spend your life with me…”

I interrupted. “That was drunk me that said that. She says a lot of stupid shit.” I tried to get out of his grasp, but he was holding me tightly and I was starting to sweat with nervous energy.

He had his arms wrapped around my waist and was looking right into my eyes. He started over, but this time spoke slower with a much deeper tone of voice that was almost hypnotic.

“You told me you wanted to spend your life with me and that if you tried to run away, I should chase you. This is me chasing you.”

Oh my God, I did say that!

Now I don’t know how to get out of this because it is what I want, but I don’t think I can handle it. If he keeps pushing, it’s going to freak me out, and I can see myself doing something stupid. I took a long deep breath to think for a minute on how to get out of this .

The aha moment I needed. It’s the perfect time to talk about last night and find out if he has anger issues because I am not staying with him if that’s the case. “Ok, but before I make a decision like that, I need to know something…” I looked back into his eyes, and I got the feeling he knew where this was going and his grip on me loosened.

“So, ask.” He insisted as his jaw ticked, and his eyes narrowed.

“What happened to you last night? I mean, what the hell happened to you last night?”

He didn’t just loosen his hold on me, he let me go and dropped his arms to his side. I watched him as he walked over to the sofa, sat down and put his head down, running his hands through his hair back and forth.

“I told you I had other things to work on.” he wasn’t looking at me as he said that, and his hands were on his head gripping his hair tight.

“Yes, you did say that. Is that one of those things and if so, what exactly is it that you have to work on?” I carefully sat down next to him, fully expecting him to get up and move. I could feel the tension pouring out of him. This must be a big deal for him. I’ve never seen him like this before.

He patted me on the thigh and sat up with a halfhearted chuckle. “Wasn’t it obvious?” I don’t think he wants to come right out and name it so I will…

“Anger issues?” He nodded slowly and I realized I got it right but is that all?

“Among other things, yes,” he said, leaning back to stretch out. It looked like he was trying to warm me up to tell me more. “I’m not really sure when it started. I was pretty young— got into a lot of fights. As I got older, as you can imagine, I worked with my mother to control the issue, but it never fully went away. It still rears its ugly head from time to time.” I felt a sense of insecurity now wondering if he meant that it popped up randomly and I could be in danger of being on the wrong end of his fury.

“Does it just happen for no reason? I mean, should I be worried?” He laughed lightly, running his hands over his face.

“No, you’re not in any danger from me…” His voice trailed off and I immediately felt like there was more to it than that.

“But…”

“But…” He hesitated, reaching out to rub my back gently, maybe letting me know he’s in control right now and I don’t have to worry, except I am worried and that’s actually a problem. “I don’t like people messing with you or trying to get between us.”

“What does that mean?” Is it just jealousy?

“It means people like Luke and Tanner will always be on my shit list and I will have to try really hard to control how I react around them.”

“Like, last night.”

“Yes, like last night. I’m sure I scared you but unfortunately, I already had it in my head that I hated your ex-husband after talking to your brother and the little bit you told me.”

I smiled because I felt the same way about my ex-husband and if he knew the way I felt about Tanner I’m sure his blood would boil. “I can’t say that I blame you for what happened with my ex. He’s had that coming from a lot of people. I wish it hadn’t been you though.”

“Alex, you have to understand, from the moment I met you, I’ve been protective as hell where you’re concerned.” The pained expression on his face reminded me of the day he brought that beautiful bouquet of flowers over and I ruined the moment by asking if he got them for my grave.

“Yes, maybe overprotective, wouldn’t you say? Do you think I need to be protected like that?” I wanted to find out if he really did think I was a damsel in distress because I am no princess that needs saving .

“It doesn’t matter what I think. It doesn’t matter that you take training classes to defend yourself. It doesn’t even matter that you can defend yourself. It only matters, in my mind, how I feel about you needing to. I don’t like it, and I will always do everything in my power to make sure you don’t have to.”

Oh shit, will this work? Will he really lock me up and throw away the key?

“Were you like this with your ex-fiancé?” I’m not sure if I should throw her into the mix, he doesn’t seem to like to talk about her.

“I got angry with her, that’s for sure. Nothing like this. She had a very wrong idea about who I was. She tried to get her name on the business and the building for that matter. She used me to climb the social ladder. She wouldn’t know love if it bit her in the ass. All she wanted was money. Thank God for Amelia, apparently.”

“Really, what did Amelia do?”

“She went to my mom who then had a long talk on the swings with me.” I felt sad for him and leaned against him. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I wasn’t afraid of this Roman. I was a little worried about Roman from last night, but it didn’t seem to be directed at me.

“So, your mom was the one who talked you out of the engagement because of Amelia?”

“That’s what I was told.” he paused, taking in a few calming inhales and exhales.

“Baby, I’m so sorry you witnessed that side of me. I can’t take it back. I wish I could’ve just told you. It’s been a long time since anything like that’s happened. It’s hard to say where my mind goes.”

“Do I have anything to worry about if I somehow make you mad?” He laughed, tugging me onto his lap so he could look down at me.

“Alex, do you know how many times you’ve made me mad?” Hmm, good question.

“Who me? I’ve been a perfect little angel, so none.” He laughed louder as he rolled me to my side and swatted my left ass cheek hard.

“Ow! What was that for?” I laughed through the fake reaction.

“That was for making me mad for the millionth time. I promise that you can’t elicit that reaction from me honey. You hold my heart, Alex. If I think you’re hurting from something I’ve done, it will break my heart.”

Oh my God. If he did something to hurt me it would break his heart, but what if I did something to hurt him, would it break mine? Do I even have a heart to break, or does he have mine too?

“Do you think maybe we should hold off on living together until after the court hearing?”

“Why do we need to wait?” Because I could fuck this all up and I’d rather not have to move twice.

“I just don’t want to have too much to think about right now. I want to get court out of the way and then we can revisit this. Is that alright?”

He nodded and went to the kitchen to refill our wine glasses. I’m guessing that answer was not alright.

***

ROMAN

As we were cleaning up after dinner, I really felt the need to apologize. “I’m sorry for being so forward. I realize you’ve got a lot of shit going on right now and this may have caused a little more stress, but I know this is right and it’s what I want. I know it’s what you want too.”

“Are you just doing this so you can protect me, because I don’t need protecting forever.” She questioned my motives, and she might be right, but I’d like to believe it’s because I just wanted her to move in.

“I’m not sure you even need it now, but it does make me feel better to know you’re safe with me.”

“If this is some kind of control freak shit, you’re going to be disappointed. If you start telling me what to do, I’ll run the other way. You know this.” I laughed watching her facial expressions. She’s so expressive. She looks like a crazed doll right now.

“As much as I’d like you to listen to me, I know it’s not something I’ll ever be able to control.” She scrunched up her face.

“Of course I’ll listen to you. I just won’t be doing everything you tell me to do or not to do.” I shook my head, grabbing her into a hug.

“Do you really think that’s what this is about? We move in together and you no longer have a life?” She gave me an innocent look and shrugged her shoulders.

“Alex, we have some work to do here. I have no desire to control you. I love you and I want you to move in, that’s all. Being able to protect you and know where you are is just a little perk that would come with it.”

I heard her let out a sigh before she said, “I don’t know what a relationship is supposed to look like, that’s why this scares me. Either I was in a marriage with all kinds of abuse aside from physical or I was in a one and done. I have nothing really to compare this too. It’s not like it’s any easier. It’s not like my parents displayed the best role models. I mean my mom treated my dad like crap and he just took it. I hated that he did that. ”

“Well, sounds to me like you need to see how people are supposed to treat each other in a relationship. Stop trying to compare this to that and just see what happens naturally. If I start to smother you or you think I am, then say something and I’ll give you space. I’ll do the same for you when you’re giving me too much space.” I winked at her, and she giggled.

“Oh my God this is going to be a shit show.” I swear she has the most negative outlook on relationships. At least she’s smart enough to know she needs therapy; a lot of it.

***

ALEX

I needed to calm down. He’s right. He’s not my parents or my ex. But this is still scary as hell for me. What am I doing moving in? He said it’s the next step. The next step to what, marriage? I’m going to hyperventilate. Oh God, now every time he does something nice or surprising I’m going to think he’s going to propose. I can’t handle this. I need to sleep this off.

I said, “Roman, that’s probably all the relationship talk I can handle tonight, so I’m going to go to bed and hopefully have a fresh perspective in the morning. Sound good?”

He smiled and said, “I totally agree. We both have a long day ahead of us. Aren’t you going back to work tomorrow?”

I shook my head, realizing I’d almost forgotten about that because of this conversation. I had a lot of things I had to get done at work tomorrow and this was really distracting. We got into bed, and I fell asleep almost instantly.