1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

ALEX

“ G et off of me!” I screamed.

I’m swinging my arms wildly at him…Tanner, Roman, I can’t distinguish between the two. It’s Tanner's voice and Roman’s face then Tanner’s face and Roman’s voice. His hands are around my throat.

“Roman stop!” I plead desperately. “I love you.” I mouth the words, but no sound comes out. He doesn’t hear me. His eyes are so dark they look deranged. He’s squeezing tighter, his fingers digging in. I can’t breathe—I’m going to die. My heart breaks as everything goes black, then I gasp as my eyes fly open wide and the room is suddenly quiet, empty, and bright. I feel like it should hurt my eyes it’s so bright, but it doesn’t— I feel at peace. I’m safe. Roman and Tanner are gone, my heart feels mended. I look around but I don’t see anything, yet I don’t feel alone. Then I see her—Mama.

“Mama, what are you doing here?” She’s so beautiful and ethereal in a long, flowing white gown.

“I’m here for you, Alexandra. It’s time for you to wake up, my daughter.”

“Can you come with me Mama?” I missed her so much. She slowly shook her head with a tender smile. My face fell as I realized what that meant. I reached out to her, but she started to fade.

“It’s time to open your eyes, sweet girl. It’s going to be okay.” I heard her in my head then she’s gone like smoke dissipating into thin air.

I woke up to the familiar feel of tears running down my cheeks, staining the pillow, whimpering with a throbbing headache after finishing off a bottle of wine from the night before. Lately I’ve been waking from the same dream— my mom telling me that everything's going to be okay, and it was time to wake up. Just like in the hospital, when I finally woke up after having been unconscious for four days due to some crazy new street drug Tanner had put in my drink at the bar. “Designer date rape drug” is what the cops called it. Basically, it was a roofie mixed with fentanyl. I’m sure I should be dead, but my mom seemed to think I needed to live—or suffer is more like it.

No, nothing is okay. None of this is okay! I thought as I rolled over, pulling the pillow over my head. How can you tell me everything’s going to be okay, mom? You’re dead! I punched the pillow in a state of aggravation. It feels like Groundhog's Day! Same dream, same morning— going to the gym, pissed as hell and wanting to find a way to make Tanner Ellington pay for what he did. As far as I’m concerned, he killed my mother. If he hadn’t drugged me, I would’ve never been in the hospital, and she would’ve never gotten in the car to come be with me. It doesn’t matter that she was the only one in the accident, or that she was driving drunk. Jail will be too good for him but I’m going to make sure he pays dearly for what he did. The ideas for how to accomplish that have been swirling around in my head, and the angrier I get, the more focused I become on devising that plan.

My head is splitting.

I needed to find a new way to deal with the memories as well as my new reality. I pushed my palms under the pillow and into my eyes to try and dull the ache. All I can do now is try to forget, but it's impossible. The alcohol only helped until it wore off. Thankfully, it flowed in abundance everywhere I went. The only time I didn't seem to need it was when I was working out, running, or at the MMA studio.

Ah, kickboxing classes. They used to be so much fun because I was taking them with my girlfriends. As much as I missed my best friends, Maggie and Abby, and our Sunday brunch, I just didn't have the strength to talk about this with anyone and I didn’t really have to at the gym, thankfully. The morning I found Roman’s gray hoodie in my closet was especially hard. The memory of that jacket wrapped around me at Lookout Park when I danced safely in his arms, inhaling his cologne, and finally feeling like someone truly cared about me. I’m pretty sure that’s the night I fell in love with him.

Poor Roman. How could I have been so selfish to suck him into my trainwreck of a life?

He deserved so much better than me. I knew I’d end up hurting him somehow. Well, he’s definitely better off without me. Plus, I don’t want to fucking talk to anyone. I reached over and picked up my phone. There were messages from Roman and my friends. I deleted them without reading any of them at all. “Ahhh!” I screamed and hit the pillow with one last good deep punch before shoving it out of my way.

6:00 am seems to be as good a time as any to get up now that I’m not going to work or doing anything else for that matter. I guess I’ll head to the gym. I threw the pillow across the room, knocking over a stack of laundry that’s been waiting to be put away for ages, and dragged myself out of bed.

***

ROMAN

I felt like erasing all these damn pictures I have of her on my phone. I swiped to the photo of us at the riverbank; there's one of us at her friend Maggie’s house; here’s the album from the beach trip we took with her family—I’m going to drive myself crazy staring at them all day. I kept hearing everyone’s voice telling me to give her time to heal. Why won’t she stop being stubborn and ask for help? God, this is so frustrating. I didn’t fucking do this to her. It was fucking Tanner, not me! I threw my phone on my desk and leaned back in my chair with my hands over my face. I’m agitated and angry and completely helpless.

The only connection I have to her now is Matt, who gave me what little information he gets from Maggie, which isn’t much since she stopped meeting her friends for brunch. They still see her at the MMA studio for self-defense classes and kickboxing, but she doesn't talk much to either of them, typically leaving right after class, according to the girls .

I let out a deep resounding breath and tried to pull myself together. I’ve really gotta get my head on straight and focus on work.

There's a gentle knocking on the door as Amelia peeked in before entering. Damn, I needed to chill out. She seemed to be walking on eggshells around me these days and that’s not like her. Amelia is the most on task, happy, hardworking assistant I’ve ever had. Even when I gave her shit, she still smiled through it. Lately, though, since all this drama with Alex, she’s more reserved and is handling me with kid gloves. It’s annoying as hell, but I’m sure I deserved it. I fucking snapped if someone even says hi to me.

“Hey Amelia, what’s up?” I muttered, trying to sound as normal as possible, but even I can tell it’s forced.

“There’s a Detective Lewis here to see you,” she says warily. I drew in a deep breath and closed my eyes, wondering how long this was going to take. This wasn't something I needed today. Detective Lewis is the officer who’s been working with Alex on the case against Tanner. She’s been with her since the beginning, and Alex seemed to trust her, according to Jack and Matt— Alex’s best friends’ husbands. They’re also her legal counsel so they can’t give me any details, but it made me feel better knowing that they’re there for her.

“Sure, send her in.”

I sat there drumming my pen on the desk. Either that, or my foot would be tapping under the desk. It was a nervous habit I picked up since meeting Alex.

Detective Lewis was a nice looking thirty-something woman with brown hair which was pulled back in a severely tight ponytail. Even though she had a serious expression on her face, she also had a very compassionate smile where you could see the sincerity in her eyes. She walked over to my desk, and I got up, straightening the cuffs on my shirtsleeves, trying to pull myself together. I forced myself to come around to shake her hand. She reminded me of all those TV shows, where underestimating the policewoman was a bad idea.

The detective reintroduced herself again. “Mr. King, I’m Detective Danielle Lewis. I’m in charge of Miss Kennedy’s case.”

“Yes, I remember,” I said as politely as I could. What I really remember was her telling me to leave the hospital because Alex thought I attacked her.

“Please, have a seat.” I ushered her to the chair in front of my desk before walking back around, settling in mine.

She began, “Mr. King.”

“Please, it’s Roman.”

“Of course, Roman. I’m sorry about what happened at the hospital and the misunderstanding, but I’m here to make sure this guy goes away for what he did. We need to make sure this is an airtight case, and nothing puts a wrench in it.”

Is the death penalty an option? I honestly wondered.

“That sounds good to me, how can I help?” I relaxed into my chair, crossing my arms over my chest to keep my heartbeat under control.

She got out a notepad and pen then sat up, crossing her legs, using her knee to balance it as she took notes. “There’s a bit of information we need for verification just to make sure it doesn’t become an issue somehow.”

An issue that had to do with me?

“What kind of information? I thought I was cleared?”

She looked slightly uncomfortable as she shifted in her seat, so I’m guessing she thought this new information might bother me. She continued, a bit more cautiously.

“Well, Ms. Kennedy thinks one of the reasons Mr. Ellington did this to her was to get to you. ”

Oh Jesus, please tell me this isn’t the reason she cut me out of her life. I can take care of myself . Does she really think I need her to protect me?

I looked up at the ceiling and said, “Why would she think that?” I practically slammed my hands on the desk. Frustration has been up front and center in my life since she stopped taking my calls or responding to texts.

The detective seemed to understand my frustration and wasn’t fazed by my reaction.

“Do you have any business issues with Mr. Ellington?”

Not with the little piece of shit in jail unless he knows that it was me who elbowed him in the nose at the bar.

“More so with his brother, Marcus.” I tried to gain my composure back. I balled my hands into fists, setting them carefully on the desk as I concentrated on answering her questions.

“The district Rep?”

That seemed to surprise her. She sat up straighter in the chair now, her brows knitted together. Does she know something more about him?

“Yeah, he’s been pulling permits, basically holding them hostage until hefty fees are paid. We’ve had delays with some projects.”

“Was one of those projects in Burrow Township?” My favorite project has turned out to be my biggest nightmare.

“Yes. Although Tanner is just his brother’s errand boy, it seems.” I felt my blood pressure rising and my head started to throb.

“Did Tanner know about Miss Kennedy’s involvement in that project?”

I’m not sure where this is going. How the hell would he have known what Alex was doing with the project? All she did was accidently run out of gas in that neighborhood. Now, if I don’t find a way to calm down, I’m afraid I’m going to lose it on this cop.

“Alex didn’t have any involvement in that project. ”

Detective Lewis looked confused. I pinched my lip in a tight line trying to hold back the headache that was right there on the verge of debilitating me.

“She wasn’t the realtor for Mrs. Ella Jackson? Helping to negotiate the sale of her house?” I watched her read and take notes in her little black notebook while we were talking to try and concentrate on something other than the pain in my head.

“Look, I didn’t meet Alex until after we started this project.” I squeezed my eyes shut while I pushed my fingers into my temples. “She was angry with me because of it. She’s the one that found out what the Ellington’s were doing. She went to Ella Jackson on her own and nurtured that relationship. She had nothing to do with this project at all.”

Shaking her head, the detective said, “Alex thinks it has something to do with this Burrow Township project. We’re trying to figure it out. If so, the motive may have been them trying to intimidate her, so she’d give up the project. She said he used your name. That’s all we really know.”

That’s why she thinks it was me? How does this guy know anything about me and Alex?

“She told us about your family history with them or rather your father and their father’s situation. However, I’d like to hear it from you.”

This is insane, and I don’t have time for this bullshit.

“Mr. King, are you alright? Would you like to do this at another time?”

I squeezed my eyes tight, shutting them against the light in the room— I could barely hear her. I felt horrible but delaying this was not going to help. I wanted this over with now .

I told the detective everything I could about what my father told me and all the recent events we shared with the Ellington brothers. That it was just a disgruntled ex-employee. I couldn’t believe Alex was taking all this guilt on herself. What did she do, cut ties so they wouldn’t try and hurt me? What if they did go after her to get her off the project? My mind was wandering down a very dangerous path. One that would be hard for me to handle if they were still planning to come after her over this project.

“Officer Lewis, why did Tanner say he was me?”

“Roman, I’m going to talk to the DA, and he’ll be giving you a call. Tanner isn’t talking about anything that happened. He’s saying he found her on the ground, passed out. You may need to go on the witness list if they decide to use this information for her case.”

“I’d be happy to help.” If it means putting that asshole away. “By the way, how is Alex?” maybe she knew more than the others did.

“Doing the best she can…” she said forcing a smile only for my benefit. “She’s been through a lot. I check on her weekly with updates on the case. She’s still unclear about the details. She has good legal counsel as well as the DA on her side."

“Thanks for that information, I appreciate it.” I hoped that’s all she needed. I stood up and walked around the desk.

“Of course.”

I shook her hand, walking her to the door. Now I need to get the hell out of here myself.

Amelia came in and asked, “Is everything okay?”

No, no it’s not.

“I wish I fucking knew.” But right now, I’m just not in the mood to talk. I had one hand on the wall and one hand propping up my head.

“Would you like me to order you lunch?”

I actually feel like I’m going to be sick .

“No, I’m gonna go upstairs for lunch. I’ve got to get out of here for a bit.” I checked my pocket for my phone, brushing past Amelia on my way out.

I quickly passed Harrison and just held my hand up in protest of anything he might say. “Not now,” I whispered harshly because the sound of my own voice was too painful at normal levels.

Harrison threw his hands up in surrender as he backed away.

“Okay,” he huffed, moving out of my way.

I heard Amelia utter to Harrison, “I don’t think your brother’s feeling well, can you be prepared to take over his meetings if he doesn’t come back today?”

Harrison let out an irritated sigh, responding, “I’ll do what I need to.”

I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. I just needed to rest for an hour. I got in the elevator, laying my head against the cool glass as it delivered me to my penthouse.