Chapter 13

SATURDAY, JUNE 18, 1904

His parents’ farm offered a respite Carter didn’t have in town. The change of pace was always good, and after the last few weeks, he really needed a couple days away from town. Out here, everything was less hectic. The only real worry was late-season snow or a thunderstorm with hail that blew through without notice on a summer day.

Carter gazed at the prairie stretching out before his parents’ house. In the fading light of the day, the crickets were out, chirping to one another. In the distance, a coyote cried, and a moment later, another howl pierced the quiet. Carter shivered. Coyotes were usually pretty afraid of people. But their high-pitched cries still unsettled him.

Early one morning when he was about twelve, he’d heard the cries of a coyote pack close to the house when he and his family were getting ready for early morning chores. Dad had told him to stay inside, but Carter hadn’t listened. He snuck out and followed his dad to the chicken coop. White feathers littered the ground. What was left of two hens lay twenty feet from the coop. His stomach turned sour, and he ran back into the house, diving into his bed and praying the Lord would keep the coyotes away.

Carter wasn’t afraid of the mangy animals anymore, but he still didn’t like them. He stuffed his hands in his pants pockets and leaned against the porch railing. Despite the various animals coming to life as the moon rose, the peace and quiet surrounded him. Town was convenient. Yet out here ...

He inhaled the sweet summer scent of wildflowers mixed with the pungent fragrance of grass and dirt. Out here, he could think clearly. See life better.

Maybe, just maybe, if things worked out, he’d speed up his timeline for building a home out here.

The door creaked and Dad and Fred came out, taking their usual chairs on the front porch. Carter stayed leaning against the rail, anxious to begin this conversation. They needed to finalize details around freighting, but the two men were discussing the current winter wheat crop and how good it looked. Harvest was just about ready to begin, and his father had already started hiring extra help. Fred had brought on extra hands as well.

“You know we talked about letting the fields go fallow for a year.” Fred leaned back. “We could divide the fields and fallow one and then next year fallow the other. That would cut back the amount of wheat we produce.”

“We are at the point of renegotiating a contract with Pillsbury.” Dad’s words were thoughtful. “We’re both at a good place financially.”

“Agreed.” Fred looked to Carter. “You could handle half the crop and we wouldn’t need to ship grain.”

“I’d still have to figure out what to do with shipping the flour, but at least this would solve part of the problem.”

The more he talked about it, the more it seemed he thought it doable and prudent. The fields hadn’t been rested in a while.

Dad gave a slow nod. “After we harvest this crop, we can put the farther fields to rest and just replant the southern acreage. That makes it easy enough to get to the mill.”

Fred got to his feet. “I heard from a couple of guys in town today that there’s going to be a town meeting regarding the roads to Missoula and to Whitefish. The thoughts are that Kalispell needs to get to work and make the existing roads better. That will help a lot. But for now, I’m heading home. See you at church tomorrow.”

“There’s a great deal to consider.” Dad stretched and gave a yawn. “See you tomorrow, Fred.”

Dad’s partner gave a wave over his shoulder as he left the porch. He untied his horse and gave one final wave before heading off down the drive. Dust kicked up and blew across the front yard, reminding Carter that the rain had been sparse. Hopefully they wouldn’t have trouble with fires. It seemed every year the rains held back, dry thunderstorms would come up to set the forests in the mountains on fire. There had been a time when fires in September had burned the summer wheat as well. Farming wasn’t a risk for the faint of heart.

“I’ll head to bed too.” Carter got up off the porch rail. “I wish all of this could be settled.”

“The Lord will direct us soon enough, son. It’s our job to be ready for action.”

SUNDAY, JUNE 19, 1904

Carter wasn’t all that surprised when the next day’s service reiterated that very point. The pastor had spoken of various times in the Bible when God called his people to readiness. There were requirements of the people, things that had to be done first, but God always came through with direction and deliverance.

It would be no different for them now.

Carter waited with the wagon while his father and mother told their friends good-bye. He saw Ellie from afar and gave a wave. She waved back in a shy sort of manner. Maybe she didn’t want anyone to notice that she was responding to him.

She stayed close to her father’s side. No doubt they were only there because the Ashburys made it so they couldn’t refuse. The Judge and his wife could be ... insistent. Hadn’t they all been on the receiving end of Marvella’s instructions?

He smiled. The old woman was pure energy and enthusiasm. If there was a queen of Kalispell, it was she. She kept watch over her kingdom and people as if she were born to it. The nice thing was that no one seemed to mind too much. Marvella was kind and encouraging. She might be a little too forward or too much into a person’s business at times, but it was always done out of love.

Dad joined Carter at the wagon. “We need to get on home. Your mother invited the Briggses for lunch.”

Mom gave him a wide-eyed look. “I thought it was about time I got to know Ellie better. After all, she clearly has your eye.”

Carter wasn’t fooled by that feigned innocence. “What do you mean?”

She laughed as Dad handed her up to the wagon seat. “You watch her all the time.”

“I do not!” He climbed up to sit on the small seat behind his parents. He leaned forward to see his mother’s face. “I find her interesting, but she isn’t interested in me.”

For some reason, he couldn’t share with his parents what Ellie had told him at the café. God was obviously tugging at her heart, and he didn’t want to get in the way.

“You’re such a man.” Mom shook her head. “We’ll see what happens....”

Dad climbed up and took the driver’s seat. He put the horses in motion and headed them down the road for the farm. Mother waved to a couple of her friends and then turned back to Carter.

“There’s something about her.” She smiled. “I just have a feeling.”

Carter did as well. He’d been intrigued by Ellie since they’d first encountered each other. Still, he wouldn’t be foolish enough to pursue her unless she reconciled her heart to God first. Until then, they could be friends. Plain and simple.

A pity that patience wasn’t one of his virtues.

The Brunswick farm was charming. The two-story log house with its inviting wrapping porch sat in the middle of a lush green yard that had obviously had some tender care. Flowerbeds burst with colors of red, purple, yellow, blue, and orange. The scent of roses teased her nose. Pink and cream hollyhocks lined the east side of the house, softening the rough log exterior with a feminine touch. Two rocking chairs and a small table sat just to the right of the front door. And on the left was a swing swaying in the summer breeze. It was tempting to skip lunch and sit in that swing, letting the afternoon slip by in peace.

Eleanor shook her head. That trip to the mountains must have done something to her brain. When did she ever want to sit and watch the clouds roll by?

When they sat down for lunch, she wasn’t at all sure what to expect. Marvella set a formal table at every meal, but here there was more simplicity. Mrs. Brunswick had put out fine china, but the silver was ordinary and there was no crystal. Well-used linen napkins were set at each place and the table was covered with a matching linen cloth with an oil lantern hanging down over the table.

When Carter’s father noticed Eleanor looking at the lamp he chuckled. “We don’t have electricity out here yet. One day, maybe. We still light with oil and candles, but we do all right.”

Carter shook his head. “I prefer the ease of electricity.”

“I do as well.” Father gave a hearty nod. “I also have to admit to preferring indoor conveniences and running water.”

“Maybe one day.” Mr. Brunswick passed her father a platter of roast beef.

The table discussion covered a variety of topics, but Eleanor remained silent. Her father and Mr. Brunswick seemed to have a lot in common. Carter’s father discussed some of his farming methods, including a decision to let part of the farm go fallow for the year.

Father had shared some insight with her when they’d been camping. After seeing all the farms and ranches, he’d found it prudent to understand the true nature of how the different entities used vast acreages of land. She had to admit, her opinion about people owning large portions of land had begun to shift.

Her question to Carter about why his father felt he needed twenty thousand acres came back to her. For some reason it didn’t seem all that important anymore. There was something about this farm, and the ease in which the Brunswicks gathered for Sunday dinner, that left her feeling a part of the family.

There was no need to push for answers to questions that really didn’t matter.

“Eleanor, you went to college, is that correct?”

Carter’s mom’s voice broke through her reverie.

She looked up at her. “Yes, Mrs. Brunswick, I did. I love to learn and studied all that I could to help Father in his work.”

“I think education is very important. Carter went to college, as did his oldest sister for a couple of years. She fell in love and married a young man from her classes, however, and that was the end of that.” Mrs. Brunswick smiled. “Our middle daughter fell in love in grade school and married that boy as soon as we’d give permission, but she loves to read.”

“Ellie always loved to read.” Father patted her hand. “I believe reading is the single most important thing we can do.”

“Oh, do you prefer being called Ellie?”

The innocent way the older woman asked the question made her pause.

Her heart sped up just a bit and it was difficult to breathe. She closed her eyes and then opened them again. “My mother called me Ellie. After she died, I insisted everyone call me Eleanor because it was too painful to have others use her name for me.” She caught her father’s teary expression and covered his hand with her own. “But I have to admit, I do prefer Ellie.”

What was she saying? She searched her heart ...

It was true. She did prefer being called Ellie. As she accepted that truth, another crack around her heart seemed to ease the tightness. But she couldn’t look at Carter. He’d surely gloat—

Then she did anyway.

His soft smile sent a little tingle up her neck. Yes, she definitely preferred Ellie.

“Reading is valuable.” Mr. Brunswick looked at his son. “Carter learned to read at his mother’s knee before he was three years old. Used to make people marvel at his ability.”

“Ellie read at a young age too. Perhaps not quite that young, but I remember her reading the Bible with her mother when she was only five.”

She remembered those days as well. Remembered the scent of her mother’s perfume and the tenderness she took with Eleanor as they worked through stories in the Bible. Especially the book of Daniel. She loved the stories of how Daniel stood fast before the king regarding rich food and drink. Mother had always been firm about getting plenty of healthy foods and exercising in the sunshine. She was a confirmed believer that rich foods led to sickness and that being indoors all the time caused one to have a sallow complexion.

“Take a walk every day, Ellie. Get out and breathe deep. Keep a fast step so that your heart has to work a little harder. Muscles are honed by working them.”

“Isn’t that right, Ellie?”

She startled and looked at her father. “I’m ... I’m so sorry. I was just remembering something Mother said.” Taking a breath, she blinked away the tears in the corners of her eyes. “What was it you asked me?”

For a moment, he didn’t speak. Just stared at her. He gave her an almost imperceptible nod, then cleared his throat. “I was telling the Brunswicks about your love of reading and how you and your mother read through the entire Bible by the time you were six years old.”

Ellie nodded, catching Carter’s watchful gaze. “It’s true. Mother thought there was no better book to read and study.”

Carter’s mother gathered a couple of empty bowls. “I agree with her on that. It must have been so hard for you both to lose her. You have my utter sympathy. I lost my mother young as well.” Mrs. Brunswick spoke with such tenderness. And love. “Mothers are so very dear to us that their loss creates impossibly difficult spaces in our lives. I’ve found that only God can fill those holes. What of you, Ellie?”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I don’t think I ever filled them.” She looked at her plate and took up the remaining piece of bread. “I doubt I ever will.” She slathered butter on it.

For a long silent moment no one said a word. Ellie glanced at her father. Was he upset by her words? His eyes stayed fixed on his plate, shoulders tense.

Then Mrs. Brunswick got to her feet. “I have a cake for dessert. Jacob always insists on something sweet at the end of the meal.”

Carter’s dad patted his stomach. “After we finish what I’m sure will be a delicious dessert, I’d like to show you around the farm, Stewart. You’re welcome to come too, Miss Briggs, but I figure you might prefer sitting on the porch. There’s something about it that just can’t be beat.”

The chance to try out that porch swing sounded like just the thing. “Thank you. I think I would enjoy that.”

They ate the strawberries-and-cream cake that Mrs. Brunswick furnished and then made their way outside. Ellie took a seat, and Carter’s mother joined her while the men headed off toward one of the barns.

“Ellie.” She whispered her own name, trying it out. Rather than making her sad or annoyed, she loved it. Clung to it.

Cherished it.

Ellie settled into the swing and felt the tension ease from her as the swing began to rock. It was as though she’d done this a hundred times before. It felt so ... right.

Like she was at home.

She gazed out across the open landscape, toward the mountains.

Carter’s mother gave a sigh. “There’s a peacefulness out here that I’ve never found anywhere else.”

Ellie nodded, her gaze roaming the landscape that stretched before them. The white wheat danced in the breeze. The fragrance was sweet and earthy at the same time. She swallowed her pride and let her thoughts flow. “Growing up in the city, I never experienced anything like this. I wish everyone could.”

“I’m sure that would be beneficial to the soul.” The older woman rocked at an easy, slow pace. “Sometimes people spend an entire lifetime trying to find peace of mind and heart.”

Was she speaking about Ellie’s earlier comment? Only one way to find out. “I hope I didn’t offend you with my thoughts about never filling the hole in my heart. I’m not sure I want to fill it with something else. Her memories and love were important to me. They always will be.”

“Oh, my dear, I wasn’t suggesting you fill it to rid yourself of your mother’s memory. To my way of thinking, the hole left behind comes from her absence, and nothing can ease that pain save God. Especially given how much your mother loved the Lord.”

“How do you know that she loved Him so?”

“She spent the time and trouble to teach you to read the Bible. She took time to go over the stories and make sure you understood them, am I right?”

“Yes.”

“She must have loved God a great deal and you as well. It’s an arduous task to teach another to read, but having done the same thing with my children, I know it’s a task of love ... a special mission that God gives to each parent. Jacob also read with Carter and the girls. He perhaps did it less often than I did, but he knew it was important to share God’s Word with them and to answer their questions. I’ll bet you had a lot of questions. You look like the inquisitive type.” She raised a brow at Ellie.

“Yes.” The word was barely audible, so moved was she by the fact that Carter’s mother truly cared about her answers.

They slowed the swing to a stop.

Ellie drew a deep breath. “My mother was always infinitely patient to answer my questions. She made it easy for me to understand.”

“But then the answers you thought you understood failed you.”

Eleanor turned to look Mrs. Brunswick in the eye. How did she know that? “Yes. My mother died, and all the while I thought God would heal her ... deliver her from her pain and the cancer.”

“But He did. He healed her completely.”

Tears sprang to her eyes. This was the last place she wanted to cry. “But ...” Her voice broke, so she tried again. “He took her away from me. That’s not what I prayed for.” A tear slid down her cheek.

“I know. I didn’t pray for it either. God knew that I wanted my mother to get well and stay with me ... with our family.”

“Yes.” Ellie wiped away the tear, but others came to take its place.

“It’s hard to accept that a loving God would let such things happen. Allow sickness. Take a mother from her child or a child from its mother. I don’t think I’ll ever completely understand, but I take comfort in His faithfulness to never leave me to bear it alone. Ellie, God is there for you even now. He doesn’t desire you to carry this alone. He loves you, just as He loved your mother.”

Ellie shook her head. “But when will He take something else I love ... someone else?”

“Oh my dear.” She reached over and took Ellie’s hand in hers. Mrs. Brunswick’s hands were warm and comforting. “The Lord isn’t randomly taking people out of our lives to make us suffer or do us harm. Death came into the world because of sin, I’m sure your mother shared that with you at some point.”

Ellie swallowed. Yes, she understood everyone sinned. Understood her need for a Savior. That’s why she’d put all her trust in Jesus as a child. But God betrayed that trust. And how was sin connected to Mother’s death? Her cancer? “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”

Mrs. Brunswick squeezed Ellie’s fingers. “Adam and Eve’s sin in the garden brought separation, death, and pain into the world. It brought sickness and many other things the Lord never intended us to experience. But even when His creation rebelled against Him, God still had a plan in motion. He was working things together to reconcile us back to Him, and though I don’t always understand how or why, He brings redemption out of pain and suffering, if we let Him.”

“But how can I trust Him when I don’t know who I’m going to lose next? Or what He will take from me?” She sniffed.

“How can you not?” Mrs. Brunswick’s voice was gentle, yet pressing. “What is the alternative? A life lived in fear of the next loss? A life of empty sorrows and holes in your heart each time someone goes away. Death is never easy to face, Ellie.”

She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

“Ellie, you are precious to God. It doesn’t matter that you don’t understand fully why things happen the way they do. But putting your trust in Him is so much better than anything else you can do. I assure you, Jesus is the only one who can make it right—who can help you understand and find joy in life.”

Before Ellie knew it, Carter’s mother had a comforting arm around her shoulder. With a small cry, Ellie wrapped her arms around the woman and held her tight.

It was almost as if Mama had come back to comfort her for just a moment.

Whatwas going on here?

Ellie was in his mother’s arms, sobbing her heart out. He had come back from touring with the men and hoped to have a little time with Ellie while his father and Stewart were looking at the garden.

But now ...

He backed away. He would not intrude on this moment. He whispered a prayer for Ellie. She was in wonderful hands. His mother would know what to do and how to help her. It was just ...

He wanted to be the one to offer Ellie comfort.

He made his way to the back door. His heart ached for Ellie in a way he couldn’t understand. There had been times when his little sisters broke down and their mother had held them close as she was holding Ellie. When Carter had been very little, she had done the same for him. But Ellie was strong and stubborn. She wouldn’t have easily been moved to tears.

He climbed the steps to the rear porch and sat down on the railing for a moment to think. Stewart Briggs had just told them that he’d bought the Hennessy house. Maybe that was upsetting Ellie. Maybe she didn’t want to remain in Kalispell.

A terrible thought crossed his mind ...

Maybe her father was ill and that was the reason he had chosen to settle down. Maybe Ellie knew he was sick and was afraid of the outcome.

Stop it! Stop overthinking it.

“Whatever it is, Lord, please help her. Help her to draw close to You ... to put her trust in You. Let her see the truth.” He paused in his whispered prayer, then let himself say what he really wanted.

“And if there’s anything I can do to help her know You, show me what to do.”