Eight

Moon

A s we make our way to our next rest area for the night, Teresa tells us about her friend.

“He’s not super tall, like him,” Teresa says, giving Fen side-eye. “But he’s a bit taller than me. His hair is blue like a fish scale, and his eyes are the most beautiful silver like the inside of a seashell.” The girl sounds infatuated, and I’m wondering how the fuck she ended up in the clutches of Spencer…

“It sounds like you really care for him,” I say, glancing over at her, and she blushes. I’m dragging my feet as we walk because I’m so tired, and my mind keeps wandering around in chaotic circles. Like, when is Fen going to do his little test? What is Fen, if he’s not a Blood Fae? Does that mean the King isn’t his father? What am I? Why do I have so many Heart Bonds?

“I do. Oh, and he’s a Merman,” she adds with a smile.

Resisting the urge to ask her if we can toss him into a pond, so I can see his man tail, is way harder than it should have been. Can’t let the impulsive thoughts win. This time.

“So your father won eighty years ago?” I ask, and she nods.

“He did. He’s not what most people would call a good man, per se. But he’s not a bad man either. He’s a powerful Elf, and I think his determination makes up for any weaknesses he has.” She smiles softly as she talks about her father, and I can understand having mixed feelings about your parent's actions. Although, the man I call dad was supposedly a Witch, so if I’m not a Witch at all, then what is he? What is my mother? Was he even a gambler?!

“When I was five, my father was taken away by Fae guards. I still don’t know exactly what he was imprisoned for,” I tell her, and she gives me a knowing smile.

“My father has helped a prisoner or two escape the Fae cells,” she says in a whisper.

“And your mother?” I ask, and she brightens.

“How my father managed to win her over, will forever be a mystery. She’s so…kind. And sweet, and caring. She is nothing like my father in any way, except for how much they love each other.” Teresa shakes her head, and I snort a laugh.

“Can’t relate. As far as I can tell, my father and mother were more like roommates. I don’t know. My Grams raised me, and she hated Steve. But my mother, Shine, well we thought she abandoned me, and my Grams blamed him, I think.” I pause. “Why am I telling you all this?” I ask, and she gives me a cringe smile.

“Oh, sorry. Part of my power naturally puts people at ease. I promise, your secrets are all safe with me.” I believe her when she tells me I can trust her. Which isn’t something I do easily.

“Did that not work on Spencer? How did you get bamboozled by him?” I ask, wondering if we had similar experiences.

“He can be very charming. Obviously, he was faking it,” she growls, sounding angry for the first time. “He’ll be lucky if my father doesn’t have him sent to one of the Beast Realms,” she sighs, not sounding like she’s joking at all. “One day he’ll learn coercion isn’t consent and getting drunk doesn’t excuse his behavior.”

I reach out and grab her hand, not liking the pain I hear in her voice. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m okay, I’m not traumatized or anything. Just…angry.”

I nod, completely understanding.

“I can sense him,” Teresa says, brightening right up. We’ve been walking for a while now. We need to find some supplies soon because all of us are seriously fucking hungry at this point. I know I am.

The way she can sense her friend, even though they don’t share a Bond, and she isn’t actively scribing for him, makes me jealous. None of it seems to deplete her energy, either. Every spell I cast when I had my moonstone to help me took concentration.

Teresa just seems to use her magic without conscious thought. Unfortunately, she can’t create something out of nothing, so no conjuring food. That would have been an epic power. I’d have asked for a jumbo-sized burrito.

“Is he close?” I ask, and she nods eagerly, looking around. So much walking. I need rest.

“Okay, when it seems like he’s near, just say something, so we can be on the lookout.”

“I will,” she says, smiling brightly at us. She’s clearly excited.

It doesn’t take him long to find us. When a dude pops out of the tree line and onto the path we’ve been walking on, I nearly scream bloody murder. So much for her warning us. He throws his hands up in surrender, but Teresa charges him, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. The fact that he found us so easily makes me wonder why the men I’ve spent the entire games with, up to this point, haven’t found their way to me. Maybe they don’t want to.

I don’t know if Fenrick was about to attack or if he was more prepared for this guy than I was, but he just stands there watching them.

“Are you sure we need more allies?” he grumbles.

“I mean, I’m kind of sure? I don’t think she’s a threat, and if she does indeed know what I am, then I want her to tell me.”

“You know, I know what you are.”

“See you say that, but you don’t even know what you are, apparently”

That makes Fenrick glare at me, but I smile brightly up at him.

“You can’t exactly tell me I’m wrong? Can you?”

“I suppose not.”

“When we get to a safe place to camp for the night, and after we eat, I’m sure we can ask her to enlighten us. As long as we keep her and the Merman safe,” I suggest.

“Alright.”

Fenrick seems to be lost in his thoughts for now, and I can’t blame him, because it’s like I’ve spent my entire time here just completely fucking lost.

I’ve been training for these games my whole life, and I spent the first couple of days falling over and passing out.

The people I come across manhandle me like I weigh nothing. There’s essentially an army of Goblins hunting me for fuck knows what reason, and maybe if I still had my moonstone, I wouldn’t be so completely useless, but here we are.

We thought maybe all this was because of my connection to Arlo, but the one Phoenix who could fill us in has disappeared.

I suppose technically he didn’t disappear. He walked off, and no one tried to stop him. I didn’t expect him to never return, though.

I thought he would eventually come back. That maybe he just needed a moment to himself, but now I’m wondering if he just wanted to get as far away from me as possible.

I don’t know where the hell Sweet Girl is. I don’t even know if Lust is still in the games for her to find.

All I can do now is hope that they eventually catch up with me. Cato and Odas were right before when they said that there was nothing I could do, but I feel like I should be doing something. Which is fucking crazy because again, if I’m going to win these games, I have to eliminate all of them.

I feel like the list of things I need to fucking do, and not only do but learn, is growing with every passing moment.

Why is my father imprisoned? Why doesn’t my mother trust my father? Why have I never thought to question anything about his imprisonment before, like why would he need Elven crystals to be freed?

Why did he give me a necklace that obviously did something to my magic? Ever since I took it off, my powers have abandoned me except for a dick tree and sand. And why, of all things, was it a dildo?!

What the hell’s been going on with my mom all this time? I know she said she was cursed to stay away from me, but why? Who would curse her? And why would that curse have anything to do with her proximity to me? Who would want to prevent her from being close to her child?

What am I actually? Why do I have so many mates? Why, why, why?

My entire life has turned into nothing but a giant question mark.

How am I supposed to get any answers?

I have to win the games, but to win the games I have to survive every trial. Which I haven’t been able to do alone, yet.

I can’t make this game end any faster because it’s not like I can single-handedly eliminate every single contestant, but at the same time, the longer this takes, the further away I am from getting any answers.

“Hey.” Fenrick bumps me with his shoulder and gives me a knowing smile. “I can tell you’re lost in your thoughts, I am as well. I feel like I have so many questions and no way to get any answers.”

I smile, because his words reflect my thoughts so well. “Same. I feel exactly the same.” I look up at the sky, the moon shining with a purple hue, as the stars seem to shift around.

It’s beautiful, and makes me sad, for a reason I don’t understand. Joining these games was supposed to be the answer to my problems, not create entirely new ones I never saw coming.

“I think, maybe…” Fen pauses, looking down at me, as we stand back, giving the Goddess and Merman time to reunite. “I think my mother lied. Which isn’t surprising. But, if the Blood King isn’t my father, then who is? And if my Blood powers aren't what stops me from touching people, what is?”

“Fuck,” I whisper, as my eyes go wide, and I look up at Fen. “Why am I the only person who can touch you?” I say, and I guess Teresa overhears this because she looks over her shoulder.

“Uh, anyone with immortality can touch him. Vampires, and Goddesses. Probably a Phoenix, and even Jellyfish.” She nods as she and her Merman walk over. “Oh, and this is Percy,” she introduces him, and I just stare at her with wide eyes.

“Bitch, explain!” I squeal, and her eyebrows shoot up before she cringes.

“Right, sorry. Uh,” she looks around, and whispers. “I still think we should find shelter first, but Fenrick is a regular Fae.” She shrugs her shoulders. “But he’s been poisoned.” She looks him up and down when her Merman shakes his head.

“No, it’s more like a blood curse.” Then the fish boy sniffs the air like a bloodhound and smiles brightly. “It’s wearing off, though. I think the curse isn’t strong enough to hold up for long stretches of time. Who has consistent access to you?”

“Wait what?” I look between the Merman, Goddess, and Fae, mouth dangling like a ball sack, as I fail to properly process this information.

“M-My mother,” Fen whispers, swallowing hard as he pales, hyperventilating. He rips his mask off, and doubles over at the waist, before falling to his knees.

“Fen!” I yelp, dropping beside him, and watch as his eyes switch from black to blue and back again.

“I knew she hated me, that I was just a tool she used against him, but…he’s not my father, is he? I’m…I’m…”

“Oh, Fen,” I move, so I’m in front of him, and push his shoulders until he's sitting up. I pull him against my body and hold him tightly. There’s nothing I can say that will make this any easier for him, but I can hold him. I can try…

“You’re still you. No matter who your parents are, or aren’t.” I lean back and look into his eyes, fuck he’s handsome.

“What do I do?” he whispers, and my heart cracks, another piece chipped away.

“Just keep going.” Hell, I don’t know. I don’t even know what the ef I’m doing!

“You guys find us a place to rest?” I say, looking up at Teresa and Percy, as they stare at us with wide eyes.

They nod, helping me get Fen to his feet, and I keep my arms wrapped around him as we walk.

Everything is a mess.

Moon

We finally found a place to camp out for the night that actually had some supplies after walking for about an hour. Fenrick was silent, but I kept myself close to him, hoping that my company made him feel less alone if nothing else.

Teresa and Percy seemed very comfortable, hanging all over each other as we walked. Further confusing me.

I’m not judging or anything, but I am curious to know why home girl was ever with Spencer at all when she had this total hunk of a Merman absolutely obsessing over her. At least he appears to be entirely obsessed with her at this moment, and I doubt that that developed in the last thirty minutes, so most likely he’s been obsessed with her for a while.

I wanna ask but that just feels rude, not only that, but they’ve now disappeared into the tent that they put up.

Fenrick and I also have a tent that we’ll be sharing, but I think we are both feeling a little bit shy about that. “You know, I thought that Teresa was just as hungry as I was, but apparently not hungry enough, given the way the tent is shaking,” I chuckle, trying to lighten some of the tension still hanging over Fen.

“She was hungry for something, just not for food.” He smirks, and I nod.

“Hungry for dick.” I laugh, looking over at Fen. He doesn't say anything, just blushes. It occurs to me at this moment that Fenrick is definitely a virgin.

I mean, he’s probably never even kissed anyone before. When I say probably, I mean definitely. He has definitely never kissed anyone. If I’m the only person who’s touched him without dying since I don’t even know how long, then he’s never been kissed. Or touched without his clothes on. Or straddled, or oh jeez. My thoughts are derailing entirely. In order to prevent myself from saying anything I will most certainly regret, I stuff another bite of beef jerky in my mouth.

I’ve never had beef jerky before, it comes from the human realm since we don’t have beef in my realm. As I chew, I inspect the packaging. Ha, there's a cute little cow as the logo.

I think of what I know about cows and look down at the meat in my hands. Wait…cows are…beef.

My stomach turns, and I spit the partially chewed food out. What have I done! What if this used to be someone's favorite pet? There’s a little kid out there somewhere who thinks her cow Bessy was sent to a magical farm where she’d roam free, only, she's actually dead. I gag, as tears spring to my eyes.

“I’m a horrible person!” I cry, looking over at Fenrick, who’s eating a piece of dried mango, also from the human realm.

“Why?” he asks, with a lift of his brow, and I hold up the dead animal flesh I spit into my hand.

“Someone loved this cow,” I whisper, and Fen blinks.

“What are you talking about, Moon?” he laughs, shaking his head. “That's not from a real cow, you goober. It’s made in a lab.”

“Oh.” I look down at the meat, nibbling my lip. “You’re sure?” I’m really hungry, and there’s not exactly a buffet of food to choose from here.

“Positive, Moon. No animals were harmed feeding you, or anyone else in the games. For all his flaws, the Elven King is vegan.”

“So he holds no value in the lives of his people, but animals are safe?” I shake my head. “That…makes no sense.” I laugh, and Fen nods his head in agreement.

“None.” There’s a long pause of silence, and I clear my throat.

“So, this is kind of awkward now, isn’t it? Maybe we should talk about something? Umm, Cato and Odas were with me before the last trial. I learned a lot about them. Like where they came from.”

I realized that this conversation probably isn’t all that much less awkward. But at least it’s not centered around his man parts never being touched. And maybe it’ll help him work through some of the feelings he’s holding in.

“Ah, so they told you my mother is evil, and filled with hatred?”

“No, not exactly.”

“Oh.”

“They just told me that they were imprisoned for a long time and that their species were used for spells. That Cato is the last Dragon of his kind, and that Odas is the last Cyclops.”

“Yeah, my mom had a lot to do with that. She’s kind of a horrible person.”

“Why aren’t you horrible, then?” I ask, wanting him to know I can see that he’s not like her.

“I don’t know. One of the guards that spent a lot of time taking care of me when I was a kid, was a good person. He was a good man working for a bad woman. He taught me how to defend myself when I was little, but then once my Blood powers hit at five years old, I didn’t actually need to defend myself anymore, because anyone who touched me died.”

“He did teach me how to fight, though, as I grew. He said that one day things might change. And if I ever needed to touch someone with my bare skin, and they didn’t instantly die, I’d need to know how to fight them off another way.”

“What happened to him? The way you said that just made it sound like maybe he isn’t around anymore.”

“He’s not. Or he is, but he doesn't come around me anymore. He kind of disappeared around the time that I was about twelve or so. He would pass me while we were in the halls or something, but if I tried to stop him, he would basically just run away from me.”

“What a dick,” I growl, and Fenrick chuckles, nodding.

“Yeah, it was hard. I spent a lot of time thinking it was my fault. That I had somehow chased him off with my poisonous skin. But he was the first person to show me kindness after I accidentally killed one of my nannies. My mother never fucking touched me anyway, so she was perfectly safe. I hardly ever saw that woman. Unless she wanted something from me or wanted me to kill someone for her.”

“Kill someone for her?” I freeze, turning and looking up at him. We’ve made a fire to keep warm, and I’m sitting next to him in the grass, so when I turned to look at him, we’re only maybe twelve inches apart. His words steal the air from my lungs, and I choke on my saliva. Fucking what?

“Yeah, my mom would use me as a threat and then ultimately even if the person she was threatening did what she wanted, she would force me to touch them. They would instantly drop dead.”

“Fuck, how old were you when that started?”

“I think I was maybe nine. I think the only reason that she didn’t start sooner, was that my father was still mildly lucid at the time. And when I say mildly, I mean that he kind of knew who people were. He would sometimes scold my mother for some of the shit she did, but it always seemed like he would quickly move on. All she’d have to do was kiss him, and it was like he forgot everything. Who he was. Who she was. Why he was even angry with her in the first place. Sometimes I hear him asking for someone that I’ve never met before,” he sighs. “He never asks for my mom, though. Can’t say I blame him, sometimes I wonder how my mother managed to fool my father into marrying her.”

“Fuck, that bitch,” I hiss and then cringe. “Sorry, I know she's your mom, but…if she wasn’t, I’d kick her ass for doing that to you.” I take a deep breath, as Fen stares at me, a small smile touching his lips. “Why do you say fool?” I ask, redirecting the conversation away from my violence.

“Well, from what I’ve heard, my father–er, the man I thought was my father, was a good man. They called him the Righteous King. Now they call him the Mad King, the Crazy King, the Last King.”

“Wow, that's…intense.” I scoot closer, resting my head on his shoulder. I want to be closer to him, but I don’t want to push his boundaries. He’s not used to being touched, so I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. “I hate that you had to go through all that, all because of your mother. Someone who’s supposed to protect you. I wish I could get all the answers for you. I know how fucking hard it is not knowing the truth.”

Fenrick reaches over and tilts my chin up with a gentle touch. I lift my head and look up at him. The man is gorgeous. I can’t help but lean in. I want to kiss him.

He doesn't stop me as I lean up and get closer to him. His breathing becomes heavy, and his warm breath against my lips is shallow. He inhales sharply as my lips press against his. The kiss is soft and sweet, just like all first kisses should be.

I hate that Fenrick has been deprived of affection for most of his life. I want to be close to him, at his pace. I won’t push him. I just want him not to feel so alone anymore. I don’t want him to ever feel alone again.

I pull away from the kiss, and he looks disappointed.

“Do you wanna go lie down in the tent, we can cuddle?”

“You’re tired?” he asks, but I shake my head.

“No. I’m not tired. I don’t wanna sleep, Fen.” He swallows hard, and his eyes, which are currently blue, light up with desire. He nods, and I bite my lip. He’s so damn cute. “Okay, come on,” I say as I get to my feet and make my way over to our small tent. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I just want to be close to you, if you’ll let me.”

“I want that too,” his voice is low and thick, and I melt into a puddle of goo. Fuck, he’s so sweet. I think I’m a little obsessed.