Chapter 65

Sixty-Five

WESLEY

H e looked as I remembered, young, with his dude-bro attire of a college hoodie and short on the sides, long on top, haircut, no hint of shadow in his face. The kind of guy who could be any college kid, and I’d feared had only been a glamour of the man I’d been mated to.

“Hey,” he said, seeming nervous. He thrust a small box at me, but since it was from the Sweet Tooth, Liam and Seb’s bakery, I knew it was pastry. “Sebastian said he has been working on perfecting this for a while.” He looked really uncomfortable for a few seconds. “He didn’t recognize me. But I understand from my wolf’s memories, how bad we fucked up. I was going to say something but the Alpha wolf showed up and Oberon ran interference before dropping me off. He said they want to interrogate me, but I had to see you.” He let out a long breath. “It hurt to see him and he didn’t recognize me, and yet I knew him and all the terrible things I did…”

I took the box, our hands brushing and my heart fluttering in my chest. He was really here, in front of me. Had I fallen asleep? Was this some sort of dream? Most of the time, when I dreamed of him as Finn, we sat down together and I dreamt of him holding me. I always woke up from them crying and alone.

“I’m sorry,” Finn whispered.

I stood in the doorway, uncertain what to say, wanting to throw myself at him, and fearing I’d shatter our dream.

“I’m not a dream, baby. I’m sorry I took so long to get control of everything.” He leaned against the side of the house, his heartbeat racing to my sensitive hearing. “I got my shit together, and had to talk to my moms. Was gone a long time and they were worried, but they look forward to meeting you, and then I called Oberon to figure out how to get here and not have Summer put me in an oven…” he rambled as if uncertain where to stop.

It hurt to breathe. He couldn’t be real.

“I am. Wesley, please.”

I blinked at him, a lock on my jaw as a thousand thoughts ricocheted through my mind.

“Wes,” Finn said. He caught my arm, holding my elbow as he settled into the bubble of my personal space, amber eyes meeting mine.

He didn’t look like some werewolf king. He looked like my Finn.

“I am, baby. Love… say something. Please.”

Tears blurred my gaze as I feared this was some final goodbye. Probably necessary as he’d spent the last year not needing me at all.

“That’s not true,” Finn cupped my cheek in his palm. “I’ve missed you desperately. I tried to stay out of your dreams at first, but sometimes it just happened and then you didn’t run away or scream at me. So sometimes I found you. Even if it was to sit with you, or watch you wander through my realm. And since the kitten watched us a lot, and I let him in, I thought it was okay, that maybe you knew and Summer knew…”

“Then where the fuck have you been? Why did you…” I couldn’t repeat that he’d sent me to Sebastian like some used up toy.

“He kept you safe, right?”

“I keep myself safe.”

“Always prickly.”

I opened my mouth to berate him for the comment, but he said, “Love, I’m sorry. The darkness needed to be tamed. I needed to learn control and build a safe place for you.”

“What?” I asked.

“You said something about jewels and castles…”

I would have rather had him for the last year than any amount of material wealth. How many times had I thought about shifting and taking off into the woods? I could run a long time. Maybe to the other side of the continent or until my heart gave out.

He sucked in a pained breath. “Could you outrun us?” Finn asked as he pressed his forehead to mine. My breath hitched at his touch. The bond between us flared to life with a jolt, and his emotions poured into me—regret, longing, love. The anxiety I’d felt was his at the thought of me walking away from him.

“I never wanted to leave you,” Finn whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “But I had to control the dark. It was eating me alive, and drained you nearly to death.”

My heart ached. The agony of the past year, overwhelming. I wanted to scream and push him away for the hurt he’d caused. But the warmth of his touch, the way his thumb gently brushed my cheek, melted the anger, leaving only the raw ache of how much I’d missed him. He looked uncertain and sad, but hope radiated off him.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t faster. The wolf and I had a lot to learn.”

Were they still at war with each other?

Finn’s eyes shifted, the wolf suddenly staring back at me, not with anger or even disdain, but affection. He leaned in close to nuzzle my cheek and whispered a guttural, “Mate.” Which made me shiver with the need to be alone with him. “He likes you,” Finn said. “Even if he thinks you’re a bit of an asshole.”

“I think he’s an asshole, too,” I said.

His eyes returned to the pretty amber youthful gaze that I knew as Finn. “I am Finn,” he said. “I will always be Finn. Even when the wolf has control.”

“Won’t it be weird for everyone else for you not to be Xander?” I wondered.

“I’m still Xander,” Finn said. “Oberon reminded me that this is closer to how he remembers me from our early years together. It’s how I feel most natural, maybe because I spent the most recent years in this human skin?” His gaze searched mine. “Unless you want something else?”

“I just want you.”

Finn’s his fingers threading through my hair as he pulled me closer. “I’m here,” he said.

What if he left again? What if they needed him to be the king of wolves? I was just a Stag, a seer unable to see his future because I was too close.

“Wesley,” Finn said as he pressed our foreheads together again. “I’m not going anywhere. You are mine and I am yours.”

“Caveman bullshit,” I grumbled.

He chuckled, the sound sweet and light, touching something in my soul. “As long as you’re with me, I will be whatever you need.” The bond between us pulsed with renewed strength. “Please, Wes, give us a chance.” Finn closed the distance between us, his lips pressed to mine, and I sank into his touch. The loneliness, fear, desperate longing—crashed into me with the force of a tidal wave as I threw myself into his arms.

He caught me, wrapping my legs around his waist and pressing me against the side of the house. The box of pastry tumbled from my grasp and I didn’t care as I clutched his shirt, needing to feel every inch of him against me, and I opened for him, letting his tongue slip inside and sucked on it. I moaned into the kiss, Finn swallowing the sound, his lips firm and demanding.

I wanted to stay lost in him, existing in a world where nothing else mattered but the two of us. But eventually, we had to come up for air, and Finn pulled back just enough to rest his forehead against mine once more.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “For everything. Every time grief took over in the past, I let the dark gain a stronger hold. Sometimes something awakes a memory and I just want to sink into the dark to cry. The wolf and I have been working on it, but Oberon has suggested I try human therapy, too.”

Tears slipped down my cheeks, and he brushed them away with his thumb, his touch as gentle as it was reverent. “Seems to be helping Sebastian,” I said.

Finn’s lips curved into a smile. “I’ve got a lot of relationships to mend,” he said. “But I need to start with you. Nothing works without you. Will you give us a chance?”

I nodded, unable to speak as the weight of his words settled over me. Even after all this mess, and knowing that I would always be the proverbial weak link in his armor, he still wanted me.

“I do,” he said. “But it has to be your choice.”

“Promise me,” I demanded, “Promise me you won’t leave again. That you won’t cast me away, or give me to someone. Promise that I am yours and yours alone.”

Finn leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to my lips. “I promise,” he murmured against my mouth. “You’re mine, and I’m yours, Wesley. Always.”

I rutted against him, grinding my hips into his, my cock desperate to be touched as he dove into another deep kiss with me. My heart pounded with a need to have him, to feel him inside me, around me, and strengthen our soul bond.

“Are you using magic on me?” I asked, breathing hard and gazing into his eyes for any sign of a lie.

He snorted. “No. Not unless me being horny automatically makes that happen. It’s not something the wolf and I thought we’d need. Do you feel magic coming off of me? I have it tamped down as much as I can. I wanted to be as much me as possible for you, but sometimes the wolf bleeds through.”

“All I feel is you,” I said. “Anxiety and hope.” Not magic. But really needy. “Fuck, I need you.”

He hummed as he kissed down my jaw and over my neck, the vibration of his kiss on my throat making me desperate to go inside and strip. “Your house is warded by the Summer king,” Finn said. “His magic and his mate’s.”

“Huh?” I knew about the wards, but my lust filled brain wondered why they would keep him out.

“It has to be your choice,” Finn said. He peppered small kisses over my face and neck, hands on my hips firm to keep me still else I’d have been rutting against him again. “You have to invite me in. Oberon warned me that if I tried to force anything on you Sebastian would blast me into the next county. Even if that means stepping inside your house without an official invite.”

“Oh,” I said. “You can come in. I mean, I want you to.” The magic of the wards rippled around us, pressure at my back easing, though the hum of them lingered.

Finn lifted me away from the wall and carried me through the open door, then nudged it closed with his foot. He turned me to press me into the door and devour my lips with his again. I sunk into his kiss, desperate for his touch, and his flesh on mine.

“My magic is limited inside the house,” Finn said. “Can’t zap away the clothes,” he grumbled as he leaned back to yank off his hoodie, and the white undershirt beneath, tossing them aside. “Can I?” He tugged at my shirt.

“Yes,” I agreed, and lifted the sweater, struggling to get it off while pressed against the door, but not wanting to let go of him either. If it was a dream, I planned to savor it.

“I’m not a dream, baby.” Finn pulled the sweater away and pressed himself against me, his skin warm and soothing.

“Prove it,” I demanded. I had thought the scent of cinnamon and apple had been the pastry he brought, but the box was abandoned outside on the porch. The smell was him. His skin radiated the warm crisp of an autumn day.

He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and dragged me into another long kiss. Could a dream feel this real? No one kissed like Finn, like he wanted to worship and devour me all at once.

“I do, baby,” he breathed between us. His eyes glowed with brightness, part him and part wolf. “The darkness will always be there,” he said. “It’s part of me.”

“I’m not afraid of it, or of you. I’m dangerous too, you know.”

He smiled. “You’re kind of terrifying, and I fucking love it.”

“Then why aren’t we both naked?” I asked.

He grunted, and unwrapped my legs from his, then shoved his pants down, kicking them, his boxers, and his shoes all to the side. His cock jutted upward, a fine thing I asked for in a dozen ways. Memories of our encounter during my heat returned and how careful he’d been despite the raging lust.

“This okay?” he asked. “You’re not in your fawn form…”

I unbuttoned my pants and shoved them off, leaving myself bare to his gaze, worried it wouldn’t be enough without glamour.

He blew out a breath, eyes smokey with desire, gaze flicking down and back up. I waited for rejection, but he dropped to his knees and took my cock down the back of his throat in one long stroke. I cried out and wound my fingers through his hair, his gaze meeting mine as he sucked hard, sliding off to tease the tip of me with his tongue and then swallowing me back down until I bumped the back of his throat.

“Fuck, you’re good at this,” I cursed, hips moving of their own accord to thrust into him. He hummed around me, holding me deep until I thought he’d choke before pulling back to a teasing glide. Not fast, though I was desperate to come as the heat pooled in the base of my spine and trickled upward like an inferno ready to erupt.

He bobbed on my dick, my heart pounding as I struggled to maintain control.

“I don’t want to come until you’re inside of me,” I said. His cock leaked against his stomach, the drops decorating his belly button. I longed to lick them up and savor the taste of him.

Finn popped off my cock, teasing the foreskin with his tongue and warm breath. “Couch okay, or would you rather go upstairs? I’d like you to ride me.”

The idea of sinking down on his cock nearly undid my resolve. “Couch.”

He tugged me a few steps to the cushy sofa, and I’d never been so grateful for a small space when he lay down on his back and slid me over him, placing a handful of kisses over my hips and inner thighs. “I promised to eat your ass before,” he reminded me.

“Don’t you dare. I need you to fuck me.” I scrambled over him, determined to line him up and shove that fine cock as deep as I could take it.

“Lube,” Finn said as I wrapped my hand around his dick to press it against my hole. “Magic limited in your house,” he said.

“Fuck.” I cursed and reached for the side table drawer and the unopened tube of lube that had appeared after one of Sebastian’s raids. I never asked, but at least now it was useful. It took a few precious seconds to open, and I clumsily dumped a giant amount over him.

He helped coat himself and held my hips in a firm grip as I guided him to enter. We both hissed as he slid in, his cock stretching me as it burrowed deep. It ached for only a few seconds before the divine heat of him pulsing inside made me nearly come undone.

“Go at your own pace,” Finn said, his breathing strained with his infinite control.

I was going at my own pace, and that meant taking him to the root where I ground into his hips and threw back my head, licking my lips as he rubbed things inside of me that whittled away my resolve. I bounced on him, only rising an inch or two before slamming back down and grinding into his hips until his cock tickled my prostate drawing small gasps from me.

Finn steadied my hips, meeting my downward thrust with his up, the both of us breathing hard, gaze locked as if we looked away, the moment would be broken. I leaned forward to catch his lips, desperate to have every ounce of him inside me, coating me with his come and his soul.

“Yes,” Finn murmured against my lips, tongue meeting mine for a duel as we ground together. “Won’t come until you do,” he said, releasing my right hip to wrap his hand around my cock. His heated touch made me growl and speed up. He matched my rhythm, drawing me to the edge of maddening waves of desire.

If this was a dream, it was the best I’d ever had.

“Not a dream, baby,” Finn said.

I couldn’t hold back any longer, and came hard, the ribbon painting his chest and coating his hand. He gasped as my body squeezed him tight and his heat filled me.

“Fuck,” I said, stars sparkling across my vision as his cock seemed to grow.

“A knot,” he said, as our bodies locked together, dragging another orgasm from me, and more waves of come from him to fill the inside of me. Had that happened during my heat? I couldn’t recall it. “No,” he said. “Never before.” He threw his head back, his magic popping around us and the house wards sizzled and snapped in warning. “Sorry.”

I worried a half second about the rising sensation being too much, but my cock hardened again, taking only a half dozen more grinding thrusts of his hard knot inside of me to make me come again. He followed, filling me until I was certain there couldn’t be room for more of his spend, and the magic sizzling around us would cause some sort of explosion. His power sank into my skin. Our auras expanding until they overlapped with wriggling rainbow colors to combine and solidify our soul bond.

“Finn,” I whispered against his lips, the waves of lust rising again. Even my heat had never rewarded me with this many orgasms and continued desire.

“Right here, Wes. Fuck, you feel amazing.” He gazed at me with adoration and lust. “I love you so much, Wes. Please stay with me.”

I groaned, his words making my heart skip a beat. “I love you, honey. Thank you for coming back. If you ever leave me again, I’ll track you down and rip your guts out through your nose.”

He laughed. “So romantic.”

“It’s my fae half, what can I say? There are some perks to being witchborn.”

“I’ll say,” he agreed as we slid together and came again, cries pressed to each other’s lips. “This is better than the heat,” he said.

“Yeah? My other form is made for this.” The human body didn’t make its own lube or fit as nicely against him as my fawn form.

“Yes,” Finn said. “I love this, and you, in all your forms. Even the scary as fuck giant Stag with bloodred eyes and razor-sharp hooves.”

“Saw that, did you?”

“Mhmm.”

“And you’re still here fucking me.”

“Oh yes,” he groaned. “Not sure I’ll ever get enough of this.”

I dove in to claim his lips again and pin him to the back of the sofa as I rode him through another dozen orgasms, and we were both dripping sweat, come, and magic. I was pretty sure I’d never get enough either.