Chapter 5

Five

WESLEY

T he forest shriveled, rotting and tumbling into goopy puddles of ooze. The landscape filled like an oil spill, the rainbow-colored swirl coating everything, iridescent and pretty beneath the glow of the blazing sun while it destroyed everything it touched.

Trees melted, the fabric of their magic unraveling. The spread of thick pines fading into darkness became the night, a pool of unlit madness and twisting chaos. The touch of the growing monster inched forward in a painful progression all around.

I shivered, chilled to the bone, curled up into a ball in the center, watching it all approach and unable to stop it. A sign of the end coming, my end, the world’s end, who knew. I’d never made it to the part of the dream in which it reached me, though I intrinsically knew when it did, I would unravel too, dissolving into the last remains of wild magic left to my line.

Would the destruction end all I was? The lineage of the White Stag extended from the beginning of sentient life, evolving as the world did. But with mortal blood, part witchborn, I was far from invincible. Could I be the end of the line? Or would the magic take new form?

The ooze reached the tip of my big toe, a touch so cold and searing with a bitter icy snap that I screamed, flailed, and ripped myself away.

A light appeared, the world coming back into focus as my heart pounded. I was inside the cabin, in the narrow bed, the kitten beside me on the pillow, and a lamp that hadn’t been there before, lit to a soft yellow glow.

I sucked in air in gulping gasps, chest aching from the race of my heart, though all around everything sat in quiet stillness. The kitten stood up on tiny legs and stretched, opening its mouth to a breathy yawn. It reached up with a small fluffy paw and put it on my arm.

“You take up less of the bed this way,” I grumbled at it, annoyed. Kitten or leopard, at least this way it was pocket sized.

Had the room changed or had I missed it all in my headache induced lack of focus? The light cast a soft glow off a tiny kitchen, an open door that appeared to lead to a bathroom, and a handful of furniture, like a kitchen table, a dressing stand, and a fabric coated chaise that I didn’t recall being there when I went to sleep.

I eyed the kitten. It leapt off the bed with a floundering gait that looked completely kitten like, and waddled its tiny butt toward the kitchen. “I really feel like Alice,” I said more to myself than the beast.

Was that a working kitchen faucet? In a realm? I stared at it another minute and eyed the dark shadow of the bathroom, which appeared to have a toilet. The thought I would kill for a shower , fierce in my mind. But realms… at least the fae created ones I’d existed in most of my life… didn’t have modern conveniences.

I shoved off the blankets and rose to my feet, testing the strength of my legs as well as for any lingering pain in my head. A dull ache rested over my left brow, fading, but a reminder that it could flare again. I stalked to the kitchen and turned the faucet expecting nothing, but water poured out in a thick, clear stream. The temperature adjusted with the handle.

Was this a modern realm? The little King hadn’t perfected the weave of magic with realism like this, at least not before I’d been captured by Winter. Spring perhaps? He had always adored the comforts of mortals, but I never imagined I’d be allowed in his realm. He hated all things fae with good reason as they spent his entire existence trying to destroy him.

I drank my fill from the tap and turned to the bathroom, drawing close and wondering if there was light. Stepping into the doorway did something to illuminate the room, which was far more spacious than I’d thought from the glimpse I’d caught from the bed. A huge soaking tub sat in one corner, a large, but open stone shower stall in the other, a toilet and a sink opposite it.

“This doesn’t give the cabin in the woods vibe, thankfully, and I’ll take it.” I went to the shower, turning the silver handle and rewarded with a rainfall of warm drops. “If this is a dream, I’d like to stay,” I told the kitten who sat itself down on a plush rug near the sink like a mini loaf of bread. “With minor additions of soap, towels, and maybe some clothes?” I said as I stepped under the water, letting it ease the ache in my muscles and wash away days of dust and the last remnant of the nightmare.

Months had passed since that dream plagued my sleep. Not a nightmare, but a vision. Something to come that I seemed unable to change. I thought it had been the end of Underhill as the dream stopped after the realm fell to the little King. Maybe it wasn’t Underhill at all? Did it mean I’d failed to hasten the rise of the new courts? Would Spring and Summer fall before they could fully solidify?

I closed my eyes and let myself sink to the floor under the soothing rush of warm water. My racing heart, unusually fast since entering this new realm, let anxiety cling in my gut like a parasite.

Decades of suffering, planning, and manipulating, and I’d failed? Tears stung my eyes and I let them fall, mixing with the water, and ignoring the kitten even as it gave me tiny mewing cries at the edge of the shower.

The last of my glamour vanished with my resolve, leaving my physical form less perfect and not exactly human with small nubs at my brow where the horns would be, legs long and thin, more animal than human. The pretty fa?ade and perfect grace I hid beneath to protect my mortal side vanished, leaving a cutesy mess of fawn-like cosplay. Not bulky or hairy enough to be a satyr, but not feminine enough for the pretty brethren of fawns I’d lived among in my early years.

This form required less magic, as it was made to absorb others and recharge a realm. The mortal form I spent years crafting to draw in others, like the little King and those around him, suppressed both the Stag and the Fawn sides of me. Natural yes, but always a low hum of energy required. Pretty privilege wasn’t only a fae shortcoming. Mortals drew to beauty like bees to pollen. Even the Stag was a thing of beauty, perfection and strength. The Fawn was…weak, ordinary, and unlovable. That curse left me with far too many memories I wished to forget. I buried the Fawn deep, willing to die with that last bit of glamour in place. The last of wild magic could scatter my ashes to dust before I let anyone see.

Why let it go here with no one to see but some strange fae kitten? The failure weighed too much to hold it all. Wasn’t it my calling to guide the rise of the new courts and rebalance magic? If not, then what was the point of all the pain?

I curled up into a ball and sobbed, leaving my back to the kitten, willing myself to drown in the flow of the gentle warm water, but deprived of even that. Perhaps I’d remain in this form and present myself to the shadow wolf. If I begged, maybe the beast would end my suffering.

None who knew this form existed anymore, except maybe the puck, but I avoided him easily. He clung to the little King with his own secrets and stayed out of mine. The Winter Queen had never seen this form, though knew it existed as she’d cast me into Zephyr’s arms so he could use me to strengthen his power. But he’d been shorn in half by Spring’s lover, and her curse had trapped me in ice, draining my strength, but never allowing the Fawn free. I suspected she hated it too, though none despised it as much as I did. Would the wolf use me, or end me? Did it matter? I sighed and let my melancholy thoughts pour out of me and into the water.