32. For Cause And Effect

32

FOR CAUSE AND EFFECT

“ I ’m not interrupting you, am I, Mom?” Crystal asked her mother two days later.

She figured it was best to call her at lunch, as she knew her mother went home for an hour.

Elsie was in school today and tomorrow and then done for the summer and she wanted to get this call over with.

“No,” her mother said. “What are you doing? I can hear you moving around.”

“I’m making lunch. You’re on speaker,” she said.

“No Elsie?”

“She’s in school for two more days and then I’ve got her for the summer.”

“You’ve been on easy street raking in the dough,” her mother said, laughing.

“Hardly that,” she said. “I work a lot. You know that.”

“I think you do, but you argue you don’t. That you’ve got hours during the day when you don’t do much. Other than you work like a slave cleaning and cooking. Guess it’s nothing more than being a housewife who gets paid well for it. So yeah, good on you.”

She rolled her eyes. It was going to be even harder to share the news with her mother, but she had to. She’d already told Taylor an hour ago. Her sister was supportive and understood completely. She knew that Taylor would have had the same thing happen to her.

Maybe they were just really fertile women to both get pregnant even though they were protected against it.

“Whatever, Mom. You look at things differently than me. But I need to tell you something.”

“You’re not staying there much longer?” her mother asked. “You lasted longer than I thought you would.”

She ground her teeth. “You always do that,” she said. “You always knock me down.”

“Don’t get emotional,” her mother said. “That is part of being the baby of the family. You act like one too.”

Her mother was laughing on the other line. Those comments just made what else she had to say even harder.

“Mom, I’m pregnant.”

There was silence on the other end. “You’re joking, right?”

“Afraid not,” she said.

She finally accepted the fact that she was going to have a child and that Phoenix wasn’t upset over it. He was more excited than her, but she was trying to come around to it.

It helped that Carolina was happy even if Phoenix’s mother hadn’t reached out. She started to wonder if Phoenix was making it up.

“I didn’t even know you were dating someone,” her mother said. “Is this going to cost you your job now? It wouldn’t be the first time that you got fired for something.”

She blinked her tears a few times. “I’ve never been fired. I’ve quit, but never been fired.”

“It’s the same thing when you don’t show up and they tell you to quit or they will fire you.”

“I was seventeen,” she said. “And it was a part-time job.”

Her mother was good at rubbing everything in nonstop.

“It doesn’t change the facts,” her mother said. “So who is the father or just a one-night stand? Guess you decided you like men better than women?”

Her jaw dropped. “I’ve never had a one-night stand. You have a horrible opinion of me.”

“I have an opinion of you based on your actions,” her mother said. “You never finish anything you start. You walk away from things and people easily. You can’t even figure out what you want half the time. There was a period when you wanted to date women. For all I know you switch back and forth.”

“I don’t,” she said. “You’re so critical of me. Did you ever stop to think that I did things for cause and effect?”

“Not surprising that you’d want that attention,” her mother said. “Could be why you’re pregnant now too. You didn’t answer me on who the father is.”

There was no getting past this. Her mother thought what she did about her.

“It’s Phoenix.”

Her mother started to laugh. “Really, Crystal? You slept with your boss? And now you’re pregnant? At least he’s got money so you should be set. But look at how well that worked for Taylor when she got pregnant with someone with money. He tried to take the kid from her.”

“Phoenix and I love each other,” she said firmly. “We’ve been dating for several months. I’ve met his entire family. I even flew with him to a wedding with Elsie in April to meet more of his extended family.”

“And you never once said a word to me about this? Why?” her mother asked.

“Maybe because the response I’m getting from you is the same as I always get. Nothing is ever good enough for you. You always have something negative to say and it never ends.”

“You’re being dramatic again. I’m giving you a dose of reality. You better get used to it. You’ve known this guy for a few months and now you’re knocked up. Just cover yourself better than Taylor did when things end. He’s got the money and make sure you get your share for at least eighteen years. That’s my best advice.”

“I don’t need your advice,” she said and hung up the phone.

When she turned around, Phoenix was standing there looking livid.

“That was interesting,” he said. He looked pissed.

“How much did you hear?”

“The part about me having money and to make sure you get your share. Has this been some kind of a joke all along?”

“No,” she said. “Never. You know I don’t have a good relationship with my mother.”

“I can see why,” he said. “But guess you should seek out a lawyer to cover yourself just in case.”

He turned and left before she could say another word and she couldn’t believe this was happening to her.

She didn’t even know he was coming home for lunch and if he had come just a minute earlier he would have heard more of what was going on instead of walking in at the worst possible second.

She ran out to the garage, but he was pulling away and she had no idea where he was going.

She went back to the kitchen and tried to call him, but he wasn’t answering.

Why did things like this always happen in her life?

She wanted to have a pity party but told herself that wouldn’t solve anything.

The best thing she could do was pull up her big girl panties and fix this. Too many times in her life she walked away when things got messy and she wasn’t going to do it now.

She called the only person that she thought could help because she wasn’t going to be stubborn like her boyfriend and let things get out of hand before she caved to get support.

“Crystal,” Carolina said when she answered. “I’m so glad you called me. I was going to reach out, but Phoenix said to give you time.”

Not what she wanted to hear considering what just happened.

“I need your help,” she said, sniffling.

“What happened? I’m here for you,” Carolina said.

“I messed up so badly with Phoenix.”

“I doubt that you could do that. Tell me what happened.”

She explained everything to Phoenix’s mother. Even those words he heard when he walked in and that he missed everything before that.

“I’m sorry to say this, but your mother doesn’t sound like such a wonderful woman.”

“Don’t apologize. She’s always been this way. I don’t know why I let it bother me so much.”

“Because children want to feel love and acceptance from their parents. It’s completely normal. As for Phoenix, when he comes home tonight, you pull him aside and sit his butt down and firmly tell him what you did me. That he shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”

“So I shouldn’t be a wuss and cry?” she asked. “By the way, I don’t do that much either. It’s just the past few days all I want to do is cry.”

“Hormones,” Carolina said. “And Phoenix is used to it. He’s seen me pregnant enough. The hormones are worse when there are multiples too. And he’s got sisters. Oh boy, it’s like everyone had their monthly friend at once in the house.”

She smiled. “My mother used to say that too. But she’d be right there with us.”

“That’s right,” Carolina said. “We all have bad days. I’m going to tell you right now, Phoenix is thrilled about the baby. Don’t let anything bring doubt in your mind about that.”

“I think he’s more excited about it than me. And he’s so good with Elsie.”

There was a pause and she wondered what Carolina could be thinking. “Did Phoenix tell you how Maryn got pregnant?”

“She went to a sperm bank,” she said.

“Yes. Phoenix wanted to be the donor,” Carolina said.

Her jaw dropped again. “What? He never said that. He’s not, is he? Elsie doesn’t look anything like him.”

Elsie had blonde hair and blue eyes just like the pictures of Maryn. Phoenix had brown hair and brown eyes. Even their builds were different.

“Maryn wouldn’t do it,” Carolina said. “Phoenix was devastated. He knew they were nothing more than best friends. Nothing romantic there. But he loved Maryn like a sister. He was going to be a part of this child’s life regardless, so he was stunned when Maryn told him no.”

“Do you know why she did?” she asked.

“At first she made some comment about wanting someone with the same coloring as her,” Carolina said.

“You didn’t believe that, did you?”

“No,” Carolina said. “One day, Phoenix told me that Maryn knew Phoenix would want to be a father and not a donor. That it would ruin their friendship because he wouldn’t be able to distance himself as anything other than the father.”

“I could see where that might be an issue,” she said.

“They fought about it for a bit. He felt rejected by it. That he wasn’t good enough. He couldn’t see Maryn’s side, but I could. I’m glad it didn’t happen. I knew he’d never be happy with that kind of arrangement.”

“Do you think hearing what my mother said brought back his feeling rejected? Could it be that?”

“It could be,” Carolina said. “It could be a lot of things. But you won’t know until you talk to him and the longer you wait the harder it will be.”

“I tried to call him, but he wouldn’t answer.”

“Send him a text to get his ass back home now,” Carolina said. “Say that exactly. He’ll show up. Trust me.”

“If you say so. I’ll let you know how it turns out.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Carolina said.

Crystal wasn’t so sure of that but didn’t want to be proven right either.

She sent the text as Carolina said and fifteen minutes later the garage door opened and she heard Phoenix come back in. He hadn’t even replied, just returned home.

“You talked to my mother,” he said.

“How do you know?”

“Because those were her words in that text.”

“I called her for help,” she said. “I’m not afraid to ask for it. I want you to sit down and listen to me. You walked in on the tail end of a conversation and have no idea of the context of it.”

“Then tell me,” he said, crossing his arms.

“That is what I’m going to do. Sit.” He sat at the island. “I called to tell my mother about the baby. I don’t need to repeat everything she said to me, as it was nothing more than what I’ve heard my whole life. I’m nothing but a failure or a loser. I can’t stick to anything. I walk away when the going gets tough. At one point she wanted to know if I got knocked up on a one-night stand and if I was going to be fired for it.”

He frowned. “You don’t even go out,” he said.

“That’s right. But my mother has opinions that only she shares. It’s always been that way and always will be. I told her that we loved each other, but she didn’t care. You walked in with her going off on her rant. First she said a bunch of things about Taylor having done the same and that it didn’t work out well for her.”

He ran his hand through his hair. It was in need of a cut, but he’d been so busy with life that he put it off. Just like he put a lot of things off personally and put Elsie or her first.

She had to remember that.

“That was rude of her.”

“That is how she always is. You saw I was upset when you walked in. She hurt me like she always does. Nothing changes. I don’t need to get a lawyer. I don’t need to worry you’re going to leave me. I’m more worried that by me dragging my feet, you’re going to get fed up with me.”

“No,” he said. “I won’t. I know this is a lot to take in. I’ve felt I’ve pushed you at times.”

“I’ve pushed you too. That is how we got into this situation. We both felt something for the other and I made the move.”

“I want to say I would have done it eventually, but I’m not sure that is the case.”

“And we would have lost out on our love for each other.” She moved closer and picked his hand up and put it on her belly. “The love for this child. I’m scared. I’m not going to lie. I’m worried too.”

“Worried about what?”

“Everything. What people will think of me. My family. Your family. The parents at Elsie’s school. You hired me to be your nanny and now I’m carrying your child. It doesn’t look good.”

“Who cares what they think?” he said. “I only care what you think.”

“I should feel that way too. But first I need to know that you believe me.”

“I do,” he said. “I drove around and had a conversation with myself. Then I tried to think of what Maryn would say if she knew what was going on. I would have told her. I told her everything.”

“What would she think?” she asked. “First, do you think she’d like me?”

“I think she’d love you,” he said. “Especially with you putting your foot down to get me back here.”

Since he was grinning she’d have to say they were over the hump. “What would she have told you?”

“She would have said to get my head out of my ass and look at the facts. The facts led me back to what we have. What we feel for each other. The baby we made. Not what someone you don’t get along with says or thinks.”

“That’s right,” she said. “There is a reason my mother didn’t even know we were dating. As hurtful as everything was that she said, I expected it.”

“You shouldn’t have to expect to be talked to that way. I’ll never do that to my child.”

“I’ll never do it to mine either.” She kissed him on the lips. “Are we okay right now? I know we are going to have hiccups. That is life, but I want you to know and believe that I love you. I’m not going anywhere and I don’t want anything from you but your love.”

“I want the same,” he said. “Well, maybe one more thing.”

“What’s that?” she asked.

“A partner. I don’t want you to do it all. I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me you’re overwhelmed or need help.”

She laughed. “Considering I just called your mother, do you think I’m someone who is afraid to ask for help? I think that is you and not me. So I’m going to repeat your words. I want a partner.”

“Then you’ve got one,” he said, pulling her close to his body.

“Good,” she said. “Because I’ve always felt like I didn’t know where I was going in life or what I wanted. But I finally figured out where I needed to be and what it is I’m meant to do and what I want.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Be a family with you.”

“Best thing I’ve heard in years,” he said, laughing.

“And since you’re home, you can help me start to move my things to your room. No reason to wait!”