11. Hoping And Wishing

11

HOPING AND WISHING

T en days later, Phoenix pulled up to Maryn’s house after he and Crystal dropped Elsie off at school.

He’d been putting this off for too long and needed to get it over with.

“This is a big house,” Crystal said. “I thought yours was big.”

“Maryn liked stately things.” The older brick colonial had five bedrooms and four baths and plenty of other space and rooms that were staged to look pretty but not utilized.

He used to almost hate to come over, as it felt like he couldn’t relax and just have a beer to hang out for fear of breaking something or dirtying it.

He had to admit that Elsie wasn’t as neat at his house and he was fine with it. Kids were meant to be kids.

The little girl picked up her toys if they weren’t in her room, but they weren’t always as organized in her room as they were here.

“It’s stunning,” Crystal said when he opened the front door and then moved into the white marble foyer. There was a massive chandelier hanging twenty feet up and a staircase overlooking a formal living room. One of those rooms that looked elegant and was never used.

“It is,” he said. “Not practical, but that was Maryn.”

“Really?” she asked. “You’re nothing like that. I’m surprised you got along so well.”

He smiled softly. “I let her be her and she let me be me. It’s hard to find that.”

“It is,” she said. “I know it’s still hard for you and I’m sorry if being here is sad.”

“It is,” he said. “I’m not going to lie. But it has to be done. I asked Elsie if she wanted to come and she said no. I think it’s for the best. She gave me a list of things she wanted. I think if she can’t remember toys then she doesn’t need them anyway.”

“She has a lot already at your house,” she said. “Plus with Christmas coming.”

He’d ordered a bunch of things in the past week thanks to Crystal giving him a list, plus he saw the list that Elsie was starting too.

Good thing for technology because she was just as good on the iPad as most adults and saved her choices.

“Exactly,” he said. “And I appreciate you going shopping with me after we are done here to get some clothes.”

Clothes shopping for a five-year-old wasn’t anything he was looking forward to.

“I think it will be fun,” she said.

He smiled. He found he smiled a lot around Crystal. He definitely needed it today.

“Glad you do,” he said. “I don’t even know where to start. I guess I should go pull the things out of Elsie’s room.”

He moved to the stairs. He’d just been standing there talking to Crystal, his feet cemented in the spot. He kept thinking he’d hear Maryn’s laughter as she came out of a room. Maybe he was just hoping for it.

Hoping and wishing were things he’d learn to let go of.

“Let’s go,” she said. “We can get it over with. Elsie told me what she wanted too. We can compare lists.”

“I should have figured she’d give you a list too,” he said.

“Uncle Nix might forget,” she said, nudging him with her elbow as they walked up the stairs.

“You think it’s funny she calls me that, don’t you?”

“I think it’s cute. I do like Phoenix. It fits you better. Stronger.”

He knew he was going to blush and didn’t know why he always did around her. He never had that reaction before with anyone else.

“Thanks.” They turned into Elsie’s old room. It was purple now and he hadn’t realized it’d changed. “This is it.”

“A little girl’s dream room,” she said. “I only have five toys on the list. Two dollhouses and a few dolls.”

“The same,” he said.

Together they found them and moved them downstairs and into his SUV.

“Is there anything you need to get of Maryn’s for Elsie?” she asked.

“I’ve got all of Maryn’s jewelry. That is in the safe at my house. She didn’t have a ton, but a few nice pieces. I wouldn’t know what to take in terms of clothing.”

“Elsie talked about a few scarves,” she said. “That she liked to put them on and play dress up.”

“Oh,” he said. “She didn’t say anything to me.”

“I can go in and look if you want,” she said.

“I’ll be fine,” he said. “It’s not like I came in here. I don’t remember the last time I was upstairs. Maybe when Elsie was a baby and I was watching her. Once she was a year old, she was staying at my house rather than me always coming here.”

“Which I have to say was super sweet of you to do. I’m not sure I know too many single men that would do that.”

“Don’t forget how many siblings I have. I’ve been babysitting and changing diapers most of my life.”

“I guess when you say it that way, you make a good point.”

They moved into Maryn’s room. Jesus, he had no idea what he was going to do with all of this furniture.

“Her closet is over there,” he said.

Crystal moved over and looked through everything. He popped his head into the primary bathroom and saw the makeup all lined up neatly on the counter.

Between the clothing in the closet and the items in the bathroom, he started to sweat. He needed to sit down and take a few deep breaths.

He said he didn’t remember the last time he was here, but that was wrong. It was when he had to pick up the clothing for Maryn for her funeral. He walked in here and couldn’t do it and just stopped. His mother was with him and nudged him out of the way and did it for him and he was thankful.

It was a closed casket anyway, then cremation. The remains were in a pretty vase in the family room where they could see them if they wanted.

He knew it’d be too much to put in Elsie’s room and hadn’t offered.

“I think these are it,” Crystal said, coming out of the closet. “At least they are the only ones like the colors Elsie explained. Are you okay?” she asked, moving closer to him.

“Yeah. Just needed to sit.” Somehow he ended up on the edge of the bed and wasn’t sure how. He looked at the scarves. “I bought those three,” he said. His throat was starting to close up on him.

“You’ve got good taste. This one is silk, I think. Let’s get out of here. You shouldn’t have come in.”

He glanced at the silver and black scarf that had a few crystals on the end. “I thought I’d be okay.” They moved out of the room. “That scarf is silk,” he said. “A Christmas gift and then Maryn wore it to a New Year’s Eve party. She was looking at it online one day and I made a note and got it for her. As much as she loved to spend money, she didn’t often spend it for something like that once Elsie was born.”

“She was spending it all on her daughter,” Crystal said softly. “What most parents do.”

“She was a good mother,” he whispered and then choked back a few tears.

“If there isn’t anything else, I think we can go back downstairs. You need a break. We can leave. Take your time or I’ll take care of everything in here. I can do it if you tell me what to do. I mean it. You’re not ready.”

“Phoenix?” a voice called from the first floor. “I’m Vana. I worked with Maryn. Not sure if you remember me from the funeral.”

He was happy for the interruption. He was better when he had a plan and a purpose. “Sorry,” he said, coming down the stairs and meeting the older woman who had just walked in the door. “That day was kind of a blur.”

“I completely understand,” Vana said. “And I’m sorry for reaching out on the house.”

“No,” he said. “It’s fine. I need to move on with it. I’ve got everything that Elsie would want. I have to figure out what to do with all this stuff.”

“Well,” Vana said. “We can make the listing all inclusive. Maryn had beautiful taste. It’s almost staged as it is, other than cleaning some things out, like clothing and more personal effects. Even food.”

“I guess I can figure that out,” he said. “If you can include it in the sale, that makes it easier on me. The other thing is doing a house sale, but I don’t have the time and can’t be bothered.”

“Nonsense,” Vana said. “We can jump up the asking price, but I do have someone in mind that might be interested. I’d like to show them the house this weekend if that is possible.”

“You can get it listed by then?” he asked.

“I was hoping to go under contract with you today and get them here first before I tried to list it. It’d be easier and faster to sell as a pocket listing. Do you know what Maryn owed on the house?”

He wasn’t going to say that the house was half paid for. No reason for anyone to know those details. “Why don’t we just focus on what you think we can get for it and we’ll go from there?”

Vana grinned and knew enough to not play salesperson with him.

“We can do that,” Vana said. “Do you mind if I just do a walk through?”

“Sure,” he said. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”

He didn’t introduce Crystal. There was no reason to. He was sure Vana didn’t care either, as she only wanted to get her commission out of this.

“This is very pretty too,” Crystal said. “Everything is huge in this house. I can’t imagine being a child here. I’d be afraid of breaking something.”

“I felt that way at times too. Maryn just liked fancy and shiny things. But none of this has any meaning. I’ll probably have to figure out what to do with her clothing.”

“There are a lot of consignment shops,” Crystal said. “Or you could donate them to not-for-profits that help women going into the workforce.”

“I think I like that better. Maryn would like it too.”

“I can take care of that for you if you want,” she said, reaching for his hand and rubbing it for a second. “I don’t mind.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Phoenix. Once I drop Elsie off I’ve got hours to myself.”

“You don’t need to be cleaning either and I know you are.”

“Because I’m bored,” she said. “Really, I am. Let me do this for you. One less thing you need to think about.”

“If you don’t mind,” he said, conceding. He wasn’t sure he could come in here again. “It’d be great. You can have anything you want too. Seriously. Maryn was bigger than you. I mean taller and curvier.”

There he went talking like he’d been looking at her body.

“You know, I find it adorable when you get all embarrassed and blush. It’s fine. I could tell by the clothes hanging she was taller than me and a size or so bigger. I wouldn’t take anything. Good lord, could you imagine if Elsie realized I had it? I don’t want to upset her.”

He hadn’t thought of that and didn’t know why he hadn’t.

“Sorry,” he said. “Not sure where my mind was at.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll make a few calls tomorrow and see if they can come do a pickup. I bet they would.”

“If they don’t,” he said. “You can take my SUV or I can take some time off and do it with you.”

“Which defeats the purpose of me doing it for you,” she said. “I’ll figure it out.”

They heard Vana coming down the stairs and then moving around the rest of the house and stopping in the kitchen.

“Do you think I could get a cleaning company to come in before this weekend?” Vana asked.

“Sure,” he said.

“I can take it right out of the cost of the sale of the house.”

Maybe he was cheap, but he wasn’t letting someone else do those things. “Send me the bill so I can see what is being done and go through it.”

“I can do that,” Vana said. “I’ll give you the names of two places we use. They can get rid of all the food and things like that unless you want to take anything.”

He’d already cleaned out the fridge. Well, his mother had. But the pantry was another matter. Just things that he hadn’t thought of back then.

“They can do it,” he said. “My time is limited. Do you have an idea of what you think the house is worth?”

“I think if you list it for six hundred thousand fully furnished, you’ll get a bidding war. It will turn a nice profit since I know Maryn only paid about three hundred for it five years ago.”

Vana would know that and have access to the records.

“Money for Elsie,” he said. “But you said you’ve got someone in mind?”

“I do. I’ll be sure to tell them it will go over asking if we put it on the market and that they should come in strong with no contingencies and a fast close.”

“Thanks,” he said, letting out a laugh, not a funny one either. “I’d appreciate that. I’m not going to shortchange Elsie by any means, but I’ll be reasonable too.”

“We’ll get you top dollar. No worries there.”

“I can clean out the food and other items when I’m here dealing with the clothes this week,” Crystal said.

“You’re going to get rid of the clothing?” Vana asked.

“Crystal is going to call around looking for places to donate and then make sure it’s out by this weekend. She’s Elsie’s nanny and has some time this week.”

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Vana said. “I know of a few places if you’d like their names.”

“I’d love it,” Crystal said. He let the two women exchange that information and then walked Vana out after he signed all the documents that he could. He knew the closing might be a bit harder with him being the beneficiary, but his father said he’d deal with it all for the closing and would fly in for the day if he had to.

He’d started to argue and his father had cut him off. Maybe he needed that moral and emotional support more than he realized.

He was glad that he decided to let Crystal come with him, but now he wanted to take his mind off of it all.

“How about some lunch before we go Christmas shopping? Just an early one.”

She laughed. “We can do that. And then that gives us a few hours to shop. I bet that is more than you want to do.”

“You’d win that bet,” he said, grinning.