Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Jenna

I turn in my seat to face him, heart pounding, knowing I’m about to bare everything, hoping he’ll listen.

“I need to talk to you, and I need you to just . . . listen,” I plead, my voice barely above a whisper.

He hesitates, eyes darting between me and the road. “Okay. Say what you need to say.”

He sounds guarded, his voice distant, and for a second, I’m afraid nothing I say will make a difference. But I can’t hold this back. Not anymore.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Holden,” I start, my voice catching. “I know it probably doesn’t matter now, but you deserve to know why I am the way I am. Why I said what I said.”

“Jenna, it’s okay,” he interrupts, his tone softer than I expected, his eyes fixed on the road. “You don’t owe me an explanation. People change their minds. Maybe you didn’t mean it when you said those things at the house, maybe it was just . . . in the heat of the moment. Whatever the reason was, it’s okay.”

But I shake my head, not willing to let him dismiss it so easily. “No, I need to say this. Please, just . . . let me finish.”

He falls silent, and I gather myself, forcing the words out even as my heart races. “After you left, I fell into this . . . dark place. I didn’t want to do anything. I could barely get out of bed. And I see it now, how I kept getting into these relationships that were doomed from the start. Guys who looked good on the outside but didn’t have a clue how to love. Boys pretending to be men who ended up hurting me in ways you never would have. And by the end of it . . . I had nothing left. So now, I have to protect myself. It’s all I know.”

He doesn’t respond, and I drag in a shaky breath, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. I can see him glancing my way, something softening in his gaze, but he keeps his hands on the wheel, his jaw tightening. I know he’s listening, but the silence between us is thick, and I wonder if anything I say will reach him.

“My last relationship . . . he really did a number on me. I was ready to take the chance at a real relationship, and we both know how that ended,” I whisper, barely able to get the words out. “I can’t . . . I can’t risk that again.”

From the corner of my eye, I see him start to reach out, his hand hovering between us as if he wants to touch me, but then he pulls back, his fingers curling into a fist. And I want to tell him it’s okay, that he can reach out, but I know that would only confuse things more.

He finally speaks, his voice low, rough with a mix of emotions. “I’m so sorry, Jenna. I never meant to hurt you when I left. I thought I was doing what was best. But hearing all this . . . knowing I caused you that kind of pain . . .” He trails off, his voice thick. “That’s my biggest regret. It always will be.”

I close my eyes, swallowing hard, feeling a strange, quiet closure settle inside me. I know we’ll probably never be what we could have been, and maybe that’s for the best. But as much as it hurts, I’m grateful—for him, for the memories, for every moment we shared, even if it’s just a bittersweet echo of what might have been.

Relief washes over me as we finally pull into the venue’s parking lot. We made it with time to spare before the ceremony starts. I hop out of the truck, moving quickly to the back of the van to grab the arrangements. Holden’s already by my side, silently lifting a few himself, and we carry the flowers inside, working together to set everything up. It’s quiet between us, the silence heavy with everything left unsaid. We arrange the flowers exactly how I pictured them, then make our way to the bridal suite with the bride’s bouquet and the bridesmaids’ blooms.

“Jenna, you made it.” The bride’s face lights up as I walk in, her excitement infectious. “I was starting to worry when you didn’t show up yesterday. Even after your call, I thought the storm would never end. That it would keep you from getting here, and I’d have to get married without my flowers.” She laughs, looking at the bouquets with relief.

“Yeah, it was close,” I say, managing a small smile. “There were moments when I wasn’t sure I’d make it myself, but Holden here saved the day.” I glance back at him, and for a split second, our eyes meet before he looks away, his face unreadable.

“Well, thank God for your knight in shining armor,” she teases, winking. “My mom’s in the auditorium with your payment. And you’re more than welcome to stay for the ceremony if you’d like.”

“Thank you, but we should head back. It’s still a bit of a drive, and the roads still aren’t great.” I hug her, telling her she looks beautiful before slipping out to find her mother.

Her mother greets me warmly, pressing the check into my hand with gratitude. It’s a relief, knowing the flower shop will make it through another month. When I walk back out, Holden is already waiting in the truck, and I climb in beside him, bracing myself for the quiet, tension-filled drive back to Kentbury. I want to say something, to apologize again, but I can feel him closing himself off. So I let it be, letting the silence settle between us like a wall I can’t break through.

“Thank you again for everything,” I say eventually, keeping my voice low. “I know you don’t have to, but if you don’t want to work on the van after this, I can find someone else.”

Holden doesn’t look at me, his eyes fixed on the dark road ahead. “I told you I’d fix it, and I will. Just need to get it back to town. Just because things aren’t going the way I’d hoped doesn’t mean I’m going to leave you without a way to run your business. What kind of friend would I be if I did that?”

His words twist something deep inside me. Even after all the hurt, after all the ways I pushed him away, he’s still willing to help. The butterflies I’ve tried to ignore stir in my stomach, and I have to remind myself that this is exactly what I was afraid of. I can’t let myself fall back into these feelings, not when I’ve already messed things up beyond repair.

By the time we reach Kentbury, it’s late, and exhaustion pulls at me, both from the long day and from the emotional roller coaster of being near him. Holden pulls up in front of the flower shop where my car is parked, and just as I reach for the door handle, his hand finds mine. The touch sends a jolt through me, freezing me in place.

“I need you to know something, Jenna,” he says, his voice low, rough. “I don’t regret anything that happened between us back when we were younger . . . and I certainly don’t regret anything that happened between us at the house. All the time I’ve spent with you . . . it’s a gift I’ll carry with me forever. There are things I wanted to say, things I should’ve said, and maybe that’s something I’ll always regret. But you’ve made your choice, and I respect it.” His gaze is intense, searching mine as if he’s trying to memorize my face. “So I’m going to leave you alone, because it’s what I need to do. Guys like me . . . Guys who’ve done what I done . . .don’t deserve a woman like you. It was nice to pretend I did, even if only for a little while.”

He lets go of my hand, the loss of his warmth leaving a cold ache behind. “I’ll bring the van back here once I’ve fixed it,” he adds, his tone final, like he’s already started closing the door on everything we shared.

I open my mouth to say something—anything—but the words don’t come. My mind spins, scrambling for a response, for a way to make this right, to take back what I said and tell him what’s really in my heart. But the moment stretches, heavy and silent, and I can feel him slipping further and further away.

The ache in my chest deepens as I stand there, alone in the cold, the reality of what I’ve lost settling over me. I don’t know how long I stay there, staring into the darkness, but one thing is clear: I had my chance with Holden Miller again, and this time I threw it away.