Chapter 33

Daniel

L oading up the car to go home, it felt weird. Things had been fine until last night. We all ended up having to physically restrain Nathan from beating the crap out of Joe. When we’d gotten up to get ready, Joe had already left. Aiden wasn’t around either, and it probably had something to do with him being so irritated by his brother.

“Are you okay?”

I bristled at the question. At this point, I was more than a little tired of hearing it. Sure, I’d fucked up yesterday, but I was fine. I was worried about other things now. It was a little fucked up to be annoyed with Shawn for caring.

“We’re back to work tomorrow, right?”

Shawn looked confused by my question, but nodded as he slid into the driver’s seat of the car. Everyone else was pulling away and this whole adventure was coming to a close.

Nacho was in a cardboard box in the backseat. We’d cut some holes in it so he could breathe, but I was still worried about the drive back to Seattle. The little guy had never been in a car before and his little cries were about to do me in. It wasn’t that big of a deal to let him wander around the car while we drove, right? He could sit in my lap and keep me company.

“Do the same rules apply as the drive up here?” Shawn asked as I took one more look in the backseat as the kitten let out one more long, pathetic cry.

God, I’d been such an ass.

“Nah. We can talk. Listen to whatever the hell you want on the radio. I’m—I’m sorry about that, by the way. It was a jerk move on my part.”

A smile pulled at his lips as Shawn gripped the steering wheel. We sat there while we waited for everyone to leave. Once Andrew and Brandon pulled away, the car’s engine roared to life.

Instead of reaching for the radio, Shawn looked over his shoulder and backed out of the driveway. I was glued to his profile and the way his whole face scrunched with concentration. He was so focused that he didn’t even notice. When we turned onto the main road, his focus shifted and he started our drive.

My fingers twitched against my thighs. The silence would kill me, especially with the way the cat kept periodically crying.

“When...” I took a deep breath. “When we get back. What are we going to do with the cat? I mean, my place has a no-pet policy. Which seems sort of bullshit if you ask me. What happens to people who need therapy animals?”

Shawn huffed a laugh. “Worried about him, huh? Don’t worry. He can stay with me until we figure it out. He’s still yours.”

My arms crossed over my chest as I turned to watch out the window. The pine trees along the side of the road were still heavy with snow, many branches having broken off. It was amazing how much winter had a way of changing the landscape. Here it was, sort of changing the landscape of my life as well.

I wanted to ask, but I was still being a big-ass chicken. What did going back mean for us? How did we handle things at work? Our friends all knew something happened, but were we more than a good time? We still hadn’t talked about it.

“You’re thinking awfully loud.”

I laughed. “I don’t know. There’s just a lot of things to consider. Aren’t you worried about what’s going to change?”

Shawn briefly looked away from the road. He reached across the center console and placed his hand on my thigh, giving it a squeeze. “Who said anything has to change?”

My heart sank a little, but maybe I was misunderstanding what he was saying.

“I mean, shouldn’t they?”

He sighed, keeping his hand on me, but turning his attention back to the road. “Only if you want them to. We didn’t...”

“We didn’t talk about what this meant. I know. We only got caught up in the heat of the moment and you did that crazy claiming me thing.”

Shawn let out a dark chuckle. “You thought that was crazy, huh?”

Something weird settled in my belly. It had been a heat-of-the-moment thing, hadn’t it? I didn’t totally hate the idea of being his, but we needed to establish what that meant. Talking about it wasn’t easy for me. It made me feel squirmy and anxious.

“Maybe? Shawn...” I tried to calm my breathing and will my heart rate to slow down. My hands were damp and clammy as I gripped his hand on my thigh. “I’ve—I’ve never belonged to anyone before.”

He grunted, causing me to reel back. “Are you sure about that?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your friend. He seemed to think he owned you.”

My grip on Shawn’s hand tightened. “Was that what this has all been about? You wanted to prove something because Art is an asshole? He doesn’t own any part of my life. He hasn’t since he annihilated my trust. It was never meant for him to have in the first place.”

The car ride only grew more uncomfortable the longer we drove and kept talking. This was why we should have kept avoiding it.

Shawn pulled his hand free of mine and wiped it down his face. “Shit. I’m sorry. Okay. It wasn’t just about proving something when it came to him. Sure, part of me hated hearing him say it. I wanted you. I didn’t want anyone else to...”

“Say that I was theirs,” I finished for him. He nodded, eyes still on the road.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and tucked my chin down. Once we got back, I’d have to look into getting warmer clothes because if this week had taught me anything, it was that I didn’t know how to take care of myself after all. I shivered even as the vents pumped heat into the car. My eyes trailed back to the side of the road, watching as trees slowly gave way to the city.

This drive had been awkward, but as uncomfortable as it had been, I hadn’t wanted it to end.

When we pulled up outside of Shawn’s building, I turned to him in confusion. “What are we doing here?”

His fingers drummed against the steering wheel as he looked at the building. He took a shaky breath before those hazel eyes met mine. Oxygen left the car, leaving me breathless at the emotion I found there. “Things that are mine. I keep them, Daniel. I can take you home, but I’m letting you know that I really don’t want to.”

So, like an idiot, I nodded. “Then I’ll stay.”