Chapter 39

Daniel

R ight there in the backroom of Margaret’s, I realized something. Shawn wasn’t just the loudmouth cocky asshole that had worn me down and let me explore my sexuality. He meant something. He was special. I wanted to kiss him and stay with him. That also terrified me.

“Shawn, I don’t think I can work tonight.”

He nodded. “I can’t either now. I’ve got snot and tears all over my shirt.”

I blinked at him. “Sorry.”

Shawn snorted a laugh, pulling my face closer to place a kiss against my lips. “You really aren’t, but it’s okay. I’d gladly be your snot rag.”

The problem now was figuring out how to get out of the restaurant. When I’d gone to the back room, they hadn’t opened the doors yet, but now there was a packed dining room.

As if reading my mind, Shawn pulled his phone from his pocket. I watched as he typed out a message and pressed send. It took several minutes before it vibrated and he looked at the response. He gave the screen a tight smile before he looked up at me.

“Dad said we should be good to leave. Chase is covering the bar and he can come out to help him.”

The moment Shawn went to stand, I clutched at his shirt tighter. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. It was embarrassing enough. I had never bought into the whole hyper-masculine bullshit that men weren’t allowed to show emotion, but not everyone felt the same. The last thing I needed for the evening was for some idiot to call me out as we were trying to leave.

“There’s a back entrance. Would you feel better going that way? I can try to get you your jacket?”

I nodded, my voice back to not working. Letting Shawn walk back out of the supply room was painful, especially after I’d made a mess of his shirt. Thankfully, I could also ask to go back to his place so I could ride in his car and not worry about freezing my ass off on a walk home.

My eyes closed at the onslaught of realization. Go back to his place. Damn. Things had really shifted. I couldn’t imagine being without him tonight. I was too raw and ragged.

“I got your jacket. Let’s get you out of here.”

My legs were jello as Shawn helped me from the floor and dropped my jacket over my shoulders. His arm settled around my waist as he directed me to the back door. After having a week off, it sucked not working the first night back.

The cool blast of air hit my face the second the back door opened. It woke me up a bit and made me more alert. I just wanted to go home, but not my home. The new home I was weirdly creating with the man that I hated not too long ago.

I didn’t even have to say anything. The second Shawn turned onto the road, we were heading to his place. Something inside me unraveled like a snake losing interest in its prey. The idea that I wasn’t going to be alone, that I could snuggle up with the stupid orange cat that I was getting way too attached to…

“Dad said we could take tomorrow as well if you needed to.”

I laughed. “Why would we need to do anything? I’m the one having the freak-out.”

Shawn’s warm hand on my thigh sent tendrils of comfort coursing through me. “Because you don’t have to do any of this by yourself anymore.”

The last thing I wanted was to drag him down. There wasn’t even a guarantee that I’d still be this fucked up tomorrow. It was more the shock that there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel, and I wouldn’t have to avoid phone call after phone call soon. Add in the fear of what would happen come summer when Art and Tilly eventually walked free.

As if the universe knew about my dilemma, my phone vibrated in my pocket. The brief moment of reprieve I had from the holiday and Shawn’s family offering me help seemed to shatter. Seeing the eight-hundred number illuminate the screen sent that serpent slithering back around its victim. I was suffocating.

“Do you need me to answer it?”

I shook my head, thumbing the disconnect button. Art didn’t deserve my time or energy. He didn’t need threats from Shawn because if we were really doing this law thing. I wasn’t going to give him ammunition against me.

It took far too long to get to Shawn’s apartment, and when I slid from the passenger seat, it was as if I was on autopilot as I made my way to the front doors of the building. Shawn rushed ahead of me, opening them to allow me inside and leading me to the elevator bay. I didn’t even remember the ride up; I just blinked, and we were there.

When I sank into the cushions of the couch, Nacho hopped up next to me, nudging me with his fuzzy head. That was another strange adjustment. In the past, I would have locked up so fast, but not for that little guy. Nope. Something about rescuing him and Shawn’s insistence that he was my cat. I lifted my arm and allowed him to crawl onto my lap. He curled up there, kneading my thighs as he got comfortable. His coppery fur was so soft and smooth under my palm as I stroked him.

Before I knew it, my eyelids grew heavy, and I drifted off.

“ I don’t know what to do.”

I sat up, Nacho jumping from the couch and running into the other room. Shawn’s voice carrying down the hall woke me from my sleep. I was bummed that he had left me on the couch, but I couldn’t blame him if he hadn’t wanted to disturb me.

“He needs someone who isn’t me to talk to.”

A long pause.

“I hoped you could help talk him into something.”

Who the hell was he talking to?

Before I could stop myself, my feet carried me down the hall and into his room. Shawn sat on the edge of the bed dressed in nothing but a pair of low-slung flannel pajama pants while he pressed my phone to his ear.

My. Phone.

My ears rang with the realization that he was talking to someone I knew. It was easier said than done not to panic. He could have been talking to Chase, who knew everything, but he could have been talking to someone else. His heart was in the right place, but he should have consulted me first.

“He’s up. We’ll call you back.” Shawn pulled the phone away, disconnected the call, and approached me. Lord, I was like a scared baby animal, ready to bolt at the tiniest hint of trouble.

“Who was that?” My throat was so damn dry, and I struggled to swallow around the question.

Shawn didn’t answer right away, but when he tried to pull me into a hug, I flinched away from the contact for the first time since this whole thing had started.

“Babe?”

“Don’t—don’t babe me right now. Who the hell were you talking to?” Heat rose up my back. My entire body vibrated, and I needed answers.

Shawn let out a heavy sigh, arms crossing over his defined chest. “Your mother.”

“My...” Oh God... he’d called my parents? Things spun around me. “You called my mom?”

When he tried to reach for me again, I pulled away entirely. “There was a reason they don’t know the whole story, Shawn. Did you ever stop to think about that?”

His arms uncrossed, and I hated that a look of pity and regret flashed across his face. “They care about you. You need to have some faith that they want to help—”

“Help? Shawn. For fuck’s sake. What part of them being victims in all of this didn’t click? They put on a good show while they were here, sure. I’ll give them that. They’re making an effort. It doesn’t change the fact that the best friend I begged them to let live with us was arrested for not only stealing from us, but from several other people in the area. That was my fault. I should have been aware of what was happening. I had to be a part of it. They didn’t trust me.”

My heart pounded against my ribs, and my eyes burned. How could he not understand what I’d been through? There was a reason I’d moved so far away.

“You said it yourself. What you went through was traumatic. Victims of trauma don’t always respond in the best of ways. You have to give them a chance to make it right.”

I scoffed. “Give them a chance? Like they gave me one? Shawn, they acted like they didn’t even know me.”

He didn’t give me a choice. Shawn’s arms swung around me as he pulled me into his chest. “I’m not saying that had to be easy. You were all in a bad place, but isn’t it time to heal? To get past that? Don’t you want a relationship with them again?”

Now my eyes were burning for a new reason, because fuck if he wasn’t wrong. Maybe it was time to give my parents a little more of a chance to make things right and not keep running away from them. There was still that sliver of fear that they’d hate to know the whole story, about the relationship that existed between the three of us. It was unconventional. While that type of relationship works for some people, for us, it had been toxic and used as a weapon.

A sob escaped my chest as I clutched to the skin of Shawn’s back. He was so warm and comforting as the tears from earlier in the evening made a reappearance. I was so tired of crying and being so damn emotional over this mess.

“Do you want me to say I’m sorry? I called because I want to help. It’s not something I can do on my own. You got so mad at me the second I offered to do it, and I thought that if I could get them to back me up or even offer to pay for things—”

I pulled back, my eyes wide. “Please. Never ask them for any kind of financial help. They do okay, but I can’t—can’t live with myself if they give me more than they have.”

He reached for me again. This was pathetic. Why the hell was I avoiding him so damn much?