Chapter Forty-Seven

Bec

W hen Aiden first told me about his mom’s condition, I felt the uncomfortable itch of helplessness crawling over my skin. It was evident how hard all of this has been on his family, and I wanted to take away all of his pain at that moment. When I look at him now, that gnawing feeling rises up again.

While I’m grateful that I don’t have experience dealing with something like this, it also makes me feel inadequate as far as helping Aiden with the challenges that he’s facing and will continue to face as time goes on. So, I do what I do in any situation where I don’t have the answers, when there’s no solution, when it’s clear that compassion and empathy are the only things needed; I listen. I listen as we drive to the facility and Aiden describes the check-in procedure, his mom’s daily routine, how the staff works with her, and how he and Evie handle their visits on both the good days and the bad days.

Aiden estimates we have a fifty-fifty chance of catching her on a good day. Evie agreed to meet us there as well, in hopes that a good day wins out.

While he’s trying to appear calm—his voice and his hand resting on my thigh are both steady—I still notice his restless leg, bouncing the entire drive and the tense set of his shoulders. It’s clear nothing about this is easy for Aiden.

I’m honored he wants me to meet his mother, and equally terrified about what that means for us. Somewhere along the way, the walls I surrounded myself with out of spite have weakened. I was jaded by the entire premise of love. I was never going to get my own love story. I had accepted that the ones I read about are works of fiction, not fact.

So why does it feel like I can’t find the flaw here?

Why don’t I see an ending to whatever this is?

Whatever we are to each other, it’s become so much more than just one date at a time. He fits into my life easier than I imagined possible. I’m left with a growing sense of hope and optimism that maybe this could all work out, if we both let it. I’m surprised to find the thought doesn’t scare me like it used to.

Aiden puts the car into park lets out a heavy sigh. My chest aches with how much I’m wishing for this to go well. For his mom, for me, but mostly for him.

“It’s not too late to turn around,” he says. His voice is laced with indecisiveness.

“I can’t wait to meet her.” I thread my fingers through his hand that’s resting on my leg and give it a reassuring squeeze. “If you’re ready for this, I’m ready too.”

I’m startled by a hand slapping on Aiden’s window.

“Jesus Christ,” Aiden mutters, rolling down the window. Evie pops her head in the frame, a goofy grin on her face.

“Hey, lovers. You know this is a parking lot and not the drive-in, right? Aiden, your mother is right inside. Imagine the scandal if she had to explain to Phyllis that you and your girlfriend were canoodling in public the next time she and the girls got together to play bridge. Think of her reputation .”

“You’re fucking ridiculous,” he retorts, but even he can’t resist the chuckle breaking through his steely pretense, probably grateful for the break in tension from the weight of the moment.

“I know.” She giggles, then slaps her hands on the hood of the car. “Come on, Bec. Mom’s going to love you.”

* * *

“It wasn’t like that.” Aiden pouts.

“It was exactly like that,” Evie whispers to me, loud enough for her mom and Aiden to hear. We’re sitting in a brightly lit corner of the common space in the memory care unit. The couch Aiden and I are sharing has a floral print in earthy color tones, the petals swirling over the curves of the furniture. On the couch along the next wall, sit Evie and Ms. Price, who asked me to call her Judy when she introduced herself. Her smile is warm and her demeanor calm.

Judy turns to look at me and says, “Aiden took his role very seriously. He was so proud he practiced every night at the dinner table for a month. I always said he should pursue acting. He really found his voice in that performance.”

“Mom, I had two lines,” Aiden grumbles.

“And they were very believable. You had the crowd on their feet,” Judy replies.

“No, Mom, you were on your feet,” Aiden says.

“And Evie,” she counters proudly.

“Yeah, and me,” Evie says. “It’s not our fault the rest of the audience didn’t follow our lead. That’s basic play etiquette. Someone stands, you stand too. They were the best two lines of the whole play. Especially since you were dressed as a jellyfish.” She turns to me, gripping my hand in hers, leaning toward me conspiratorially. “Aiden flailed his arms so dramatically that he slapped the kid next to him in the face with one of the tentacles on his costume. The kid hit him back with his crab claw right after he delivered his line. Straight to the jaw. Priceless.”

My ribs ache from laughter. “I can picture it now, but man, I wish I could see the real thing,” I say.

Evie gets that look on her face that I’m beginning to recognize means she’s up to something, most likely something at Aiden’s expense. Aiden noticeably straightens, his face paling.

“Evie…you promised,” he says quietly.

“I did no such thing,” she hisses at him, then turns to me with downright wickedness in her stare. She practically runs every word together, spilling them out in a rush. “We have it. We have it on tape. You need to watch it.”

“Mom, please tell me you don’t still have it,” Aiden pleads.

“How else would I be able to brag about you to my friends here?” Judy asks, the picture of innocence.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe turn on a game? One I get paid to play professionally in?” Aiden replies.

“I do that too. I’m proud of all of your accomplishments.”

“Saying two lines in an elementary school play of The Little Mermaid isn’t exactly an accomplishment,” Aiden says.

“Honey, as a mom I get to say this. The big moments and the small moments, they all shine just as bright in my eyes.”

Aiden’s gaze softens and he says, “Okay, Mom, I’ll have to trust you on that.”

Without anything needing to be said by Aiden or Evie, I can tell we caught Judy on a good day. It even feels like a great day. I know those are even more rare from what Aiden’s told me. She’s shown a bit of confusion here and there, but for the most part, she’s been alert and oriented with enough clarity to recall and share a few memories of Evie and Aiden from when they were younger and follow along when her children share stories of their own as well .

After introductions and answering some of Judy’s questions about myself and how Aiden and I met, I’ve spent a good part of the last hour laughing at sweet childhood memories told from the lens only a mother can see through. The love in her voice…no amount of memory loss could wipe that clean. It radiates from this woman who sacrificed so much to raise the two adults in front of me.

She’s everything Aiden said she was. She has a strong maternal presence, the kind that fills you with reassurance, confidence, and comfort. Having someone like that in your corner means everything. I know because my parents fulfill that role for me. To know that she had to take on the responsibility for herself and their father in his absence, it’s incredible. The selflessness and the strength it takes to be a single parent…I can’t begin to imagine the tenacity it requires.

Judy’s smile fades for a moment, replaced by one less certain. “Uh…did you ask me something, dear? I swear I was just looking here for something.” Her gaze is unfocused as she turns toward the stack of magazines on the small table in front of the sitting area.

Aiden looks to Evie, a moment so quick and practiced, communicating more pain and grief than I could ever fathom in less than one second.

Aiden stands and walks to his mom’s side, softly squeezing her shoulder. His smile forced.

“Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll find it for you,” he says gently.

“Oh, okay. I think I’ll just wait here,” she replies. Her attention drifts to the small television in the corner, where a home renovation show is playing on mute.

“Are you okay here for a minute or two while Evie and I check in with her nurse?” Aiden asks me quietly, returning briefly to my side, brushing my hair back behind my ear.

“Of course, we’ll be fine,” I say, looking up at him with the most reassuring smile I can muster .

I watch Aiden as he and Evie walk away and begin talking with the staff at the nurses’ station.

“It’s rare to see that, you know?”

“I’m sorry, Judy. Rare to see what exactly?” I ask.

“Don’t tell me you don’t see it too. I may be getting older, but I’ve still got my wits about me. That is a man so deep in love it’s changed the very fabric of his being. The very bedrock of his reality. You two must be very happy together. Such a rare thing to find. A rare thing to keep. How long have you been married now?” she asks, inclining her head toward Aiden.

“Oh…oh, we’re not married…I mean…” I say hesitantly, not sure how she’ll respond to me if I contradict her. But I can’t just say I’m married to her son, right? Isn’t that going to confuse her more? She doesn’t know me. Does she even recognize Aiden right now?

“My apologies, my mind isn’t what it used to be. Well, it can’t be long now before you two tie the knot. Can I give you some advice from one woman to another? Not that you need it when your partner looks at you like that…but be a dear and humor me, will you?”

My heart warms. The sweetness Aiden’s spoken of regarding his mother shines through even the cloudy confusion she’s battling now. “I’d love some advice.”

She reaches out and grabs my hand, placing her other hand to rest on top. She leans toward me. The comfort of a mother emanating from her is like a hug after a long day. A refuge.

“Remember you’re playing on the same team. Life will throw a lot at you. It’s easy to forget that you’re fighting for the same thing sometimes. A life of joy, a life of happiness. It doesn’t come easy and it takes work, but it’s possible if you remember that you have a partner and not an adversary. Sometimes he’ll need more from you, sometimes you’ll need more from him. It’s never even, but it should always be kind. It has to be selfless, but not sacrificial. Love will take you far, but friendship and respect will make you invincible.”

“That’s really beautiful,” I whisper.

“Oh, the words aren’t the beauty of it. The beauty is found within the bond you share. You feel that with him. That kind of love,” Judy says matter-of-factly.

It’s not a question, as if the look on my face is all the confirmation she needs. But I respond anyway. Even though it’s terrifying to say out loud, I let it slip. The secret I haven’t even acknowledged myself falls past my lips to the most important woman in Aiden’s life, and she may never remember that she heard it first. “Yeah, I think I do. I think I feel that way with him.”

“Then don’t let go, dear. Be brave together.”

In this moment of anonymity, Judy can read my thoughts and emotions more clearly than I can even discern them myself. I smile back at her, my happiness genuine and consuming. I glance back at Aiden briefly to find his stare locked on me. I want to be brave for him. I want that more than I realized.