Chapter Three

Bec

T he girls and I rotate hosting responsibilities for our book club, and this month is Dee’s turn. We sometimes end up staying the night after a few drinks, but since Luca was just born, Ellie will get picked up by Dom since she’s not ready to be away from him overnight. Tonight, Carissa is my snuggle buddy.

We’re sitting around Dee’s glass coffee table, littered with take-out containers. I’m in her oversized, plush velvet, green chair with my back against one arm and my knees hooked over the other, feet dangling off the side. Her apartment is comfortable and stylish with rich, earthy fabrics and colors and soft lighting. Her incredible view of downtown is framed by huge floor-to-ceiling windows, the entire exterior-facing wall of her living room giving us a picturesque view of the twinkling city lights. I live just a few blocks away, but my view has nothing on Dee’s.

“I need a new vibrator, who has a good recommendation?” Dee surveys the group. “Bec, didn’t you say you found one that was panty melting? Help a girl out.”

Yes, I did say that, and yes, I meant it. My new not-so-little friend has kept me company for three glorious months now, and I couldn’t gatekeep. I’m a better friend than that. “Let me send the link in the group chat. Everyone, and I mean everyone , needs one of these.” I wiggle my eyebrows at Carissa, who laughs, looking down, her auburn hair falling over her face, shielding her from my targeted stare.

Her ex, Sir-douche-a-lot—sorry, I mean Damien—constantly put her down when they were dating, including when it came to expressing any type of sensuality. In my experience, only the most insecure men feel the need to shit all over women like that, claiming they’re doing it to “protect them.” I watched as my strong, confident, bubbly friend retreated into herself until that relationship ended. We were all relieved and trying to help any way we could when she began to share the painful truths as their entire relationship broke down. If anyone needs to find her confidence and feel sexy again, it’s Carissa. And I guess maybe myself, too, if I’m being honest.

Dee squeals when she gets the link, already getting out her credit card. “This book was so hot. My vibe finally kicked it, but we had an amazing run. He went out in a blaze of glory two chapters before the epilogue.” She stares at the ceiling wistfully, like her last vibrator and she had a sentimental relationship.

I mean, I guess my vibrators outlasted the only serious relationship I had in the last few years. Holy shit, my human relationships have been outdone by my vibrators. When was the last time I had sex? I need to go on a date…immediately.

“Chapter twenty-five…wow. I may be operating on zero sleep and have next to no energy or sex drive, but that was just unreal. I almost wished I could wake Dom for some fun.” Ellie is expecting to be cleared for sex by her OB at an upcoming appointment but shared that she and Dom are going to wait a while longer.

Another reason I love their relationship is how comfortable and understanding they are with each other. I guess when she told him she didn’t feel ready physically or emotionally, he was incredibly supportive and reassured her that there’s no rush. When she’s ready, he’ll be ready too. Ellie and Dom are over here making it seem impossible for anyone on my dating apps to stand a chance at reaching the bar they’re setting sky high, but my book boyfriends certainly rise above all expectations, so for now, they’ll have to do.

“I’m still not over the shower scene. Something about crazy, hot shower sex does it for me. And the mouth on that guy, I swear I replayed that part on my audiobook at least ten times for the dirty talk,” I say, reaching for my margarita.

We run a very sophisticated book club, choosing a new romance novel every month and then regrouping to rehash all our favorite smutty moments while eating too much takeout. We’re real scholars here, all bibliophiles.

I can devour a good read in a day if I’m not working—so long as it has a healthy dose of spice. I consider it critical to debrief in a meeting of the minds with plenty of time for serious plot analysis. Like, would the heroine really be able to straddle the mafia boss and bounce on his dick, coming three times while he drove his hot rod car on the highway at ninety-plus miles per hour? You know…purely intellectual debates. The answer is clearly yes…if she’s flexible.

“Seriously, when it’s done right, the dirty talk alone can get me there. I about screamed when he grabbed her chin and told her to look him in his eyes and ride him until she felt him bottom out.” Dee grabs the pitcher to top off everyone’s drinks.

“Oh god, I forgot about that part. I wish it was a duology. Another book with that man? Yes, please,” Ellie adds.

“We could choose another book by this author for next month if we want,” Carissa proposes. “We don’t have the November book picked out yet.”

“I love that idea. I checked out the author’s website after I finished this book, and she has another stand-alone novel that came out last May. And best of all, there’s an audiobook version,” I share, downright giddy at the thought of reading another book by this author. I was planning to anyway, but it’s more fun to share it with the girls.

“I do not understand your obsession with audiobooks. Don’t you get worried your phone will start playing the book out loud when you’re out in public?” Carissa looks like she wants to crawl out of her skin just imagining the embarrassment.

“No way I’d ever get busted, I always use my old, wired headphones when I listen to my audiobooks in public. Extra precautions, you know? No Bluetooth issues. Plus, it only makes it hotter. Walking down the street listening to how the main character is getting railed by the six-foot-three, muscled hottie against the edge of his penthouse balcony? Just my dirty little secret on a Wednesday afternoon stroll that no one needs to know about.”

It’s true, I love that extra little kink of being in line at the coffee shop around the corner from my apartment, surrounded by unsuspecting people going about their day while the voice artists paint me the smuttiest picture of my wildest dreams.

“Speaking of dirty little secrets, would you like to share with the rest of the class what happened last week? Ellie wouldn’t spill the details, and that means it’s too good not to share.” Dee, being the queen bee of living brazenly and unapologetically, would never let me bury this story no matter how much I wish I could.

“It’s not that good,” I counter. “I just accidentally saw Dom’s friend from college last week, and I might have been missing my shirt. While covered in baby poop. And having a small breakdown. You know, normal Saturday afternoon type stuff. Okay, who wants to compare favorite characters…”

“Stop deflecting, Bec, and give us the details. How the hell did this happen?” Carissa pipes in, and I know there’s no escaping their interrogation. I sigh and recount my humiliation at the tiny hands of baby Luca. By the end of my story, Carissa is cackling, wiping away the tears streaming down her face, while Dee is lying flat on her back, hysterically laughing. At least Ellie has the decency to pretend to look apologetic and hide her giggling, since her baby caused this whole damn mess in the first place.

“Please tell me we’ll meet this guy, Ellie. I have so many questions for him,” Dee schemes.

“Oh god, take it easy on him, Dee,” Ellie pleads. “And you already met him. Aiden was in our wedding party, one of the groomsmen. He’s a great guy. He keeps telling Dom how bad he feels about the whole thing. Now when he comes over to hang out, he texts us three times to confirm the plans, including one text from our driveway before he’ll get out of his car. He’s scarred for life.”

“Wow, I didn’t know my shirtless form was scarring. Better call my exes and offer compensation for their trauma.” I sip my drink and I can feel my blush creep in, remembering how gorgeous Aiden looked despite the shock written on his face and how much I wanted to crawl into a hole when he saw me covered in literal shit. I didn’t stick around long enough to talk, but the guy is still hot.

So fucking hot.

“Oh please, your cleavage probably rendered the poor guy speechless. You know your curves could kill. He’s scarred because your body was covered in poop . Not exactly a fantasy brought to life; that’s a goddamn nightmare,” Dee says.

“Yeah, well. It wasn’t a dream for me either. Who just walks into your house unannounced like that anyway?” I shout.

“ You do , Bec,” Ellie shrieks with a laugh. “You always just roll into our house. The only times you don’t are when you think we might be banging. Or these days, napping, which by the way, you’re the best for that.” Ellie smiles warmly. “Though, I would recommend that you avoid stripping in public spaces in the future, especially since the season is over. I’m sure we’ll be seeing Aiden more often.”

“I’d hardly call leggings and a sports bra stripping,” I mutter under my breath.

“What do you mean now that the season is over?” Carissa asks.

“The regular baseball season is over. The Aviators didn’t make the playoffs, so I assume Aiden and Dom will hang out more often in the off-season.” Ellie casually snacks from the table while Carissa and Dee stare at each other, confused. “You know, because Aiden is a pro baseball player. Remember, he and Dom went to school together, and after college Aiden played for the Detroit Lightning? He was traded to Columbus this past Spring. Dom was ecstatic when Aiden called to tell him he was coming home.”

“Holy shit,” Dee says, snapping her head in my direction as her short, dark brown, wavy hair skims across her shoulders as her eyes find mine. I look away, immediately gulping my drink. She fucking promised…she better keep her big mouth shut. “Oh, Aiden …I remember that fine piece of man candy now.” She sips her drink and stares at me, goading me.

Nope, not looking at her. I can avoid her stare for the rest of time if I have to. If she wants me to confess, she’ll have to wait a lifetime.

“I need to see a picture to jog my memory,” Carissa pipes in. She probably didn’t even have a chance to meet Aiden with her stupid ex clinging to her at Ellie and Dom’s wedding. Ellie pulls up her phone and shows Carissa a picture of Aiden sitting in their living room holding Luca. It’s not fair that years later he’s only become more attractive. His perfect lips show off his bright smile, his jaw is still peppered with the perfect amount of scruff, and he keeps his brown hair a little longer on top, giving him that just-out-of-bed disheveled look. “Oh wow. Maybe we need to go to a few baseball games next year.”

“That’s a great idea! I’m sure Aiden would love to have a few extra fans in the stands. You won’t have to wait that long to see him, though. He’s invited to Friendsgiving at our house next month.”

I knew I’d see Aiden around now that he lives in town. I go back and forth between dreading our next interaction and craving it. I wish I could sever this connection, or at least silence it so I could just focus on anything but the way he makes my desire flare.

I’m fairly confident my battery boyfriend is going to be busy this fall, helping to take the edge off. If there’s one thing I know, I need to avoid any one-on-one interactions with him given the way we met.

Come on, Bec. You can do this…right?