Chapter One

Bec

“ H oly shit, your boobs . I mean…uh, look at you, Momma! You look incredible.” I walk into Ellie’s living room to give her a squeeze hello, while she sits on the couch holding sweet baby Luca. “But seriously, what happened to your boobs?”

I know I should be looking at my best friend’s face, sincerely looking into her eyes and telling her that she looks radiant—a true rock star for birthing the most beautiful newborn baby I’ve ever seen. But I can’t, not when her nipples are staring at me like that.

“Apparently, my milk coming in means I get a natural lift before they drop to the ground forever. Too bad this gift is ruined by the fact that I’m so sore I could just about cry every time this little potato latches on. Who the hell knew breastfeeding was the least natural thing I’d ever try to do,” she explains.

I don’t have it in my heart to mention that there is spit-up in her hair and on her shirt. Is it on the couch too? She probably already knows; best to just let that go, since I assume there will be more any minute.

“Oh my god, is that for me?”

“Of course, I come bearing gifts. Some caffeine for you, supermom. Let’s see your body work miracles and turn this sugar fest into liquid gold for little Luca here.” I hand over her favorite chai latte from the local coffee shop and a blueberry muffin the size of my face.

I grab my coffee, throw my purse onto the floor, and get comfortable next to Ellie on the sofa. Have you ever seen a sectional from Costco before? Those couches look normal in a store the size of a warehouse. You bring that bad boy home, and it’ll devour half of your living room. It’s the best thing in the world. I’ve crashed over here plenty of nights, and I choose this couch over the guest bed. Every. Damn. Time.

“Hey, Bec. Good to see you. You guys want pizza or burgers for lunch? I was just about to order for delivery, so I can wash up a few dishes while it’s on the way.” He looks around, scratches his head, then rests his hands on his hips. “We somehow don’t have a single clean plate in the house, so I need to wash a few before we can eat.”

Dom, Ellie’s husband, looks like he’s seen a ghost. Or he is a ghost. I’ve never seen a more exhausted person in my life. His shirt is rumpled, and he almost looks lost. His restless eyes scan their home like there are a million things to do and he is just managing to keep it together with one small task at a time. I can see the dishes piled high in the kitchen sink from here. Day five and this kid has given my put-together friends a true shake-up to their routine. What a force of nature.

Dom walks over and gives Ellie a kiss on her forehead while brushing a hand over Luca’s head. He’s the only guy I trust with my best friend, and this is why. He looks like he’s about to fall asleep standing up, frazzled beyond belief, and still trying to take care of Ellie and his son with a look of pure adoration on his face.

Ellie perks up. “My vote is pizza. Dom, can you please bring me some water?”

“Yeah, sure. Here, just take mine.” He hands her his coffee mug.

She stares down at it, not taking it just yet, and gives it a sniff. “Uh, Dom, is that coffee with Baileys?”

“Yeah, there’s water in coffee, right? I didn’t realize I grabbed Baileys instead of coffee creamer. I’m calling it a happy, sleep-deprived accident.” He is talking so fast; I can barely make out what he’s saying.

I should have come sooner.

Best friend stepping up to bat in three, two…“Hey Dom, why don’t you go rest for a bit. I’ll get Ellie some water and order us some food. We’ll wake you when it gets here.”

“Seriously?!” He half screams at me. I swear he’s tearing up. Shit, this dude is acting like I’m about to hand him a check for ten million dollars. I guess sleep is more valuable around here right now.

“Yeah, I got it. Tag me in, man.”

Ellie pipes in. “That’s a great idea. Babe, go rest now so at least one of us can function later. You crash now, then it’s my turn.”

Dom kisses Ellie again and sprints upstairs to hopefully fit in a very needed power nap. I grab Ellie some water and call in our order for delivery. When I’m done, I sit and turn to Ellie. “Seriously, I’m so proud of you. How are you feeling, little momma?”

Ellie’s been with me through everything. An all the way back to preschool–type friendship. Finish each other’s sentences–type friendship. Don’t speak for two weeks and then pick up like it’s been five minutes–type friendship. Held my hair back on my twenty-first birthday–type friendship. Spiritually, the girl’s my twin. My soul mate. But we couldn’t be living more different lives right now. That fact is staring me in the face in the form of an eight-pound slobber monster. God, that thing is cute. Terrifying…but cute.

“I think I’m in shock. The birth was so fast and not what we were expecting at all with the emergency C-section. I’m relieved to be home and safe with Luca. We barely slept at all while we were recovering in the hospital. Everything feels confusing, and I’m unsure how to do anything confidently anymore. The only thing I’m sure of is how much I love this little guy.”

She’s staring at the slobber monster like I’ve never seen anyone look at anything before. It’s incredible to see her becoming a mom right in front of me. I can feel the shift in her. Like when you see a kid watching fireworks for the first time, true wonder behind their eyes, not quite believing what they’re seeing. Magic.

“Well, pizza will be here in an hour. What can I do to help? Put me to work.” I stand and she looks at me with gratitude.

“You don’t have to do anything. I just appreciate you for being here.”

“Anytime you need me, I’ll come running, you know that. Let me switch dishes, throw in a load of laundry, and get the trash out while you pick out today’s Netflix binge, sound good?”

She switches the baby from the right side of her body to the left side, using a mountain of pillows to prop him closer to her, and starts nursing. “I’ll browse, but you know what it’s going to be. Season four is out next month, we have to get ready.” Stranger Things is one of Ellie’s favorite comfort shows, and mine too. Time to get to work and then introduce Luca to the city of Hawkins.

* * *

“Tell me you saw it! Right there, there’s a ladder right there! I know he got out, and that’s how he does it,” Ellie yells. We’re wrapping up the season three finale, and Ellie is worked up. She hands Luca over to Dom to burp. Seriously, how often does she have to feed him? I say a silent prayer for her milk makers. They look angry, and I don’t blame them. They’re working over time and not in the fun way.

“I don’t know, I think he goes through the gate into the Upside Down to survive the explosion,” Dom says. We’ve had this debate a million times. We know we can’t lose Hopper. But the how is a source of controversy. “Bec, do you want to hold Luca again?”

“Oh no, you go ahead and have some dad and son bonding time. I don’t want to interrupt.” I know how this works. Post-nurse burping time means you volunteer to be a human spit-up rag. I was already fooled once while we were watching episode six. Not again.

“Hey, did you see in the group chat that Dee has a date tomorrow?” Ellie asks.

“Please tell me she didn’t agree to go out with that guy she works with…what’s his name? John?”

“Not a chance. She asked Sarah out again, the engineer. I’m shocked she’s giving Dee another chance after how their first date ended,” Ellie says, her voice heavy with disbelief.

“From what Dee described, Sarah seems sweet and funny. Maybe she’ll just laugh the whole thing off.” Our friend Dee is single like me, and I swear, she rivals me for most embarrassing first date stories. You’d think we were competing. I would’ve kept this story to myself, but Dee has absolutely no shame. She can’t help but laugh at herself.

“She threw up on Sarah’s shoes! I couldn’t show my face again if I did that on a date.” Poor Dee. Bad time for food poisoning to hit. I guess they were on the highest level of Topgolf. She said her options were to either vomit on her date’s shoes or over the edge of the building and watch it fly three stories down. In her state of panic, she chose the shoes. It seemed like the better option to me too.

“But what a good story to tell the grandkids someday, right? I’d rather my introduction to my soul mate be something hilariously embarrassing than something boring,” I say, finishing my chips. I’ll need to restock Ellie’s snack stash tomorrow. I helped her do some serious damage to her supply tonight.

“Speaking of, who’s on your radar lately? Anyone promising?” Ellie asks.

“God no. Everyone I’m matching with online has been nice enough, but there’s no spark, no connection. I haven’t checked any of my messages recently, come to think of it. Besides, it hasn’t been that long since Josh and I broke up.”

“It’s been three months. I bet meeting someone fun will help you close the door on all that drama. Humor me, and pull up the app. Let’s see if you have any matches waiting and show Luca his first love story.”

I reluctantly find my phone. I haven’t checked my messages lately. I’ve been busy at work and tired of putting in the effort just to find myself on another lackluster date. But I have a feeling that Ellie and Dom are going to be busy while they adapt to being a family of three, and unless I want to spend all my free time working or volunteering, I need to find a way to occupy my time. So, Ellie helps me swipe, and I wish I could say I was excited about any of the possibilities.

* * *

The next day, I pull into Ellie’s driveway with another chai latte, supersized blueberry muffin, and a few grocery bags. I woke up early, threw my hair in a messy bun, unwilling to tame the frizz, put on some sweats, and ran to the store to stock up on her favorite snacks. I texted her from her driveway to make sure I wasn’t waking her, in case she was lucky enough to be napping, but she gave me the all clear to storm into their home because, in her words, Everyone in this house is always awake for the rest of time.

Sounds like it’s time for Mom to get some sleep.

Ellie is pretty much right where I left her last night, cozy on the couch with Luca all scrunched up and asleep on her chest. Her straight blonde hair hangs around her face and over one shoulder in a messy braid. The dark circles under her eyes contrast with her ivory skin. She has to be running on next to no sleep right now .

“You’re a lifesaver,” she whispers. “Not just for the snacks, but because I have to pee. Can you take Luca so I can go?” Ellie’s physical recovery seems more difficult than I imagined it’d be. She has to move really slowly and getting up and down seems really painful for her.

“Of course, hun. I feel bad you were stuck all this time having to go. Can’t you put Luca down and run to the bathroom since he doesn’t move without you?”

Ellie is patient. Ellie is understanding. Ellie is not the person to bite your head off. But oh my god, I’m afraid right now. She’s looking at me like she’s going to grow claws and rip me to shreds.

“I’ve tried. I’ve tried to put him down, but every time I do, his tiny little voice box turns into a megaphone, and he wails louder than an ambulance. It takes me so long to get to and from the bathroom and on and off the seat, and I cannot listen to him screech the whole time. It takes so long to get him calm afterward. Trust me, this is better.”

“Yes, ma’am. Fully trusting you.” I take Luca into my arms, avoid direct eye contact, and lend her a hand to help her off the couch.

“Sorry.” She stands and winces while tears begin to stream down her face. “My mood is so crazy, and I’m just so tired and uncomfortable.”

I feel my shoulders and spine relax. She’s not going to kill me. “Ellie, it’s going to get easier, don’t worry. You’re doing an amazing job with this huge transition. Go to the bathroom, and then why don’t you lie down? I’ll watch Luca while you rest. Does he need to nurse soon, or can you sleep for a while?”

“He just ate, are you sure? That would be incredible.” Now the tears are really rolling.

“Yes, my best friend in the world just birthed the best baby in the world, and she needs to rest. I’m so happy to be able to spend some time with him. Now you go.” She hugs me tight and slowly and carefully makes her way upstairs to nap after I agree to wake her for the next feeding. She also mentioned that Dom ran out to get diapers right before I got here, so it may be a bit before he gets home.

I set up on the couch with Luca on my chest and start up Parks and Rec where Ellie left off. “Hey, bud, Aunt Bec here,” I whisper. “Time to introduce you to April and Andy. The best two of the crew. What do you say?”

I’ve interacted with babies before, but I wouldn’t say I’m a confident babysitter. I’m happy to wave at babies from afar, to say hi to babies, and to hold them while they’re happy. But if Luca starts crying, I might panic a little. Maybe I’ll start singing “Baby Got Back” like Ross and Rachel do for Emma when she cries. That’ll be plan A.

While brainstorming a plan B, I realize that Luca is starting to wriggle around on my chest. “Oh crap,” I whisper. “Are you waking up already? Back to bed, little man. Mom needs to rest, so you need to stay calm and quiet.”

The kid must immediately know that I am not Mom or Dad because the fussing is getting louder. Shit. And…now, he’s crying. Okay, two minutes into my shift, and I am already screwed.

I stand and start bouncing my knees, swaying from side to side, and gently patting his back, trying to mimic what I saw Dom do last night to soothe Luca. I start to half sing, half whisper the lyrics to “Baby Got Back,” but before I make it to the chorus, I feel something warm sliding down my front. And my arm? What is that?

I look down to find spit-up all over my shirt. But that’s so far from my arm….Why does my arm feel wet? I switch my arms around so that my right arm is now on Luca’s back and I can pull my left arm away.

I freeze. “Oh fuck.” Yep…that’s poop running down my arm. Then it hits me. The smell. I cannot do this. Time to panic. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” I hiss while walking around with my arm in the air, at a loss. Dom better be buying some better diapers because these ones suck ass .

I walk to the area in the living room where Dom and Ellie keep the diapers and wipes, all the while trying to soothe Luca. Maybe I’m trying to calm myself, too, and give the pep talk I need to survive until Ellie wakes up or until Dom gets home to take his spawn away from me so I can shower. Dom changed all the poopy diapers last night. I knew I should have practiced at least once before I went solo.

With Luca lying on the mat, I can fully assess the damage and…wow. How is Luca capable of this absolute destruction? My shirt and arm are covered, and there is no saving his outfit. Wonderful. Since I know Dom won’t be home for a while, I go ahead and take off my shirt, using it to try to wipe myself clean. I’ll grab Ellie’s sweater off the couch in a second.

I get the diaper and wipes ready, but then I make a critical mistake. One that will haunt me. I take off his diaper too soon, and Luca isn’t done. He isn’t done at all . “Sweet baby Jesus, no!”

Full on explosion. I am the target. Direct hit.

And because my life is a mess, I hear the front door open at this exact moment. “Don’t come in here, Dom! Run, save yourself!” I whisper-shout because my best friend is sleeping and I don’t know if I’m more scared of the poop machine in front of me or the sleep-deprived best friend snuggled away upstairs.

“Dom?” I hear an unfamiliar voice call out.

Shit, what the actual fuck? Who is that? Were Ellie or Dom’s parents coming over and they forgot to tell me?

My brain isn’t working fast enough, and before I can form any kind of reasonable way to say, Hey, there’s baby poop everywhere, and I’m in a bra; please don’t come around the corner , the most gorgeous man walks into the living room. I haven’t spoken to him for over three years, but I’ve given him plenty of thought since then, and dammit, he looks good.

Fuck me.