Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

P atience's eyes flew open, heart pounding as she turned to the thrashing figure beside her.

Anna's small form tangled in the blanket, frantic cries surging from her. "No! You can't. No. Oh please, no."

Patience worked the cover off her niece. "It's all right. You're fine. It's all right." She gathered Anna into her arms.

Anna stopped flailing, but sobs overtook her body. She didn't curl into Patience like she usually did after a nightmare, just lay stiff, great heaves surging through her.

"Anna, what's wrong, darling?" Patience tried to rock her, but she seemed oblivious to her comforting.

The sobs came in waves, so much stronger than any other time. Was it because Jonah wasn't here to help soothe her?

Patience pulled her closer, sitting her up a little to get her attention. "Anna, what's wrong, honey? What was your dream about this time?" Maybe if Anna talked about it, she could work through the emotions.

Anna's little shoulders heaved as she struggled to catch her breath. "Ma-ma Na-o-mi." The words came out as more of a sob than a name, but Patience couldn't deny what her niece had said. And she'd called her Mama Naomi. Usually, it was just Naomi.

She brushed Anna's hair from her wet cheek. "I know you miss her, honey. I'm so, so sorry."

Anna's sobs shuddered through her, impossible to control even as she spoke again. "And Pa-pa E-ric."

Pain pierced Patience's heart as she clutched her niece to her, the girl's heartache palpable in the trembling of her small frame. She had been so focused on attaining her own dreams, her own desires, she'd counted them as stronger than the depth of Anna's attachment to the people who had become her family. Naomi and Eric had given her the love and stability she so desperately needed after the loss of her parents and grandmother. And sweet Mary Ellen had become the little sister Anna had never had.

Patience had taken her away from that.

And for what? So she could chase after her own dreams?

Even as she pictured that little white house in the wide green valley, she couldn't summon a single thread of desire for it. Not when achieving that picture took her away from Jonah, from the safety in his arms and the way he cherished her.

She'd never felt like she belonged anywhere until she'd met Jonah and gone to his mountain haven. He never made her feel like she had to work harder to be good enough. Even when she was fighting against what he wanted, he supported her. He'd traveled weeks in a wagon over rough mountain roads to help her accomplish what she'd set out to do.

Patience took a deep breath, her decision crystallizing with each heartbeat. "We're not going to leave them, Anna. We're going back with Jonah."

Anna's sobs slowed. She worked to take a breath, but the sobs only allowed short gasps.

"It's all right, my love." Patience murmured into Anna's hair as she rocked her back and forth. "We're going back to Mama Naomi and Papa Eric. And Mary Ellen and all the people who love you there." She didn't let herself think about what life would look like for Anna when they reached the Coulter ranch. Would she rather live with the people she now considered family? If she did, and if they wanted her…

Of course Eric and Naomi wanted Anna with them. They'd made that clear. Should Patience allow it? If so, then what would she do?

What did Jonah want her to do?

Was she really going to stay at the ranch?

The questions were too many to consider now. The only thing she knew with every part of her being was that they were going back. And they'd better hurry to let Jonah know before he set out. The faint light of dawn was already showing through the window.

Anna's sobs had quieted, but she still clung to Patience, her small body trembling.

Patience brushed a strand of hair from the girl's tear-stained cheeks. "Anna, love. Let's go tell Jonah we want to ride back to the ranch with him."

She pulled back, then wiped her sleeve across her face. They needed to dress, both of them. She'd not unpacked, so there was little to stuff into bags.

Within minutes, they'd both changed into trail-worn dresses, and Patience had quickly refastened her own coif and Anna's braid. Then, she snapped the bags shut and waved Anna toward the door. "Let's go see Jonah."

They stepped into the hallway only to find that Jonah's door was already open.

Patience edged close and peered inside.

The room was empty. The covers had been stretched neatly over the mattress as though no one had slept there in days.

Her chest clamped as her mind scurried to make sense of this change. Had he left last night? Decided he wanted to be home more than he needed a decent night's sleep?

Tears burned her eyes, and she squeezed them shut. Why had she refused him when he'd asked if they would return with him?

Why had she come to Fort Benton in the first place?

Why, why had she been so selfish?

A small hand slipped into hers, pulling Patience back from her spinning questions. "Where is he, Aunt Patsy? Did he go to get the horses?"

Patience let out a breath, forcing herself to think clearly. "Maybe." Perhaps he had slept here. Perhaps he'd just gotten an earlier start than she'd expected. Was he, even now, at the livery hitching Jasper and Jenny to the wagon?

If not, if he was already gone…

Well, then she was on her own. Which the only way for her and Anna to catch up with him would be to rent a horse. And catch up with him they would, one way or another.

With Anna's hand in hers, she spun toward their room. "Let's get our bags and go see."

Downstairs, the lobby was empty, the clerk not yet at his post. She left their key on the clerk's desk, along with a scrawled note to explain their abrupt departure. She could only hope she wouldn't be dragging Anna back to this place in need of lodging.

She would find Jonah, even if she had to ride all the way back to the Coulter ranch.

With their bags slung over her shoulder, she ushered Anna out into the quiet morning, the first rays of sunlight painting the sky in hues of pink and gold. Where was the livery? She had no idea which direction to go.

A young boy swept the steps of the mercantile a couple doors down, so she called out to him. "Please, can you tell me where the livery is located? "

The lad leaned on his broom and pointed down a side street. "Two blocks that a-ways, ma'am. Cain't miss it."

"Thank you," Patience called over her shoulder, already striding forward as they wove through the awakening town. The town seemed to stretch on forever, each step a painful reminder of how far Jonah might have traveled.

When the livery finally came into view, Patience could barely breathe from running with the bags in her hands.

An older man with a shock of white hair was mucking out a stall near the entrance, but he looked up as they approached, his eyes crinkling with curiosity. "Mornin' to ya, ma'am. What can I be doin' for you and the wee one?"

She sucked in a breath and steadied her voice. "I'm looking for Mr. Jonah Coulter. Did he come to collect his wagon and team earlier?"

The man rested his pitchfork against the stall door, considering her question. "Aye, he did. Left out of here about an hour ago, I reckon."

Her heart plummeted, but she did her best not to show her worries. She would have to go after him. Surely, she and Anna could make up that amount of time. He had a wagon, after all, and they'd be on horseback.

Poor Anna's expression was filled with fear and uncertainty.

Patience had to fix this, for both their sakes.

Squaring her shoulders, she met the man's sympathetic gaze. "Sir, do you have a horse I could rent? My niece and I need to catch up with Mr. Coulter. " Her voice cracked with emotion, but she refused to let the tears fall. Not yet. Not until she'd exhausted every last option. Even if she and Anna had to ride all the way back to the ranch by themselves.

The man scratched his chin. "Well now, I reckon I could loan you a horse. But you could probably jes' walk on over to the mercantile."

"I…I don't understand."

A slow smile spread across the man's face. "Well now, Jonah said he was headin' to the mercantile to load up a new cookstove. Had a few fellas lined up to help him with it. I'd wager he's still there, 'round back with his wagon."

Relief surged through Patience, so strong her knees nearly buckled.

He hadn't left. There was still a chance.

She squeezed Anna's hand. "Did you hear that, love? Jonah hasn't gone yet. We need to hurry."

"Thank you, sir. Thank you so much."

The old man's eyes twinkled. "Git on now with you, a-fore you miss him."

She spun, pulling Anna with her, and they raced back the way they'd come.

Her mind whirled as she tried to picture the layout of the town. There had to be an alley, some way to get behind the mercantile without losing precious time.

There.

A narrow passage between two buildings, just wide enough for her and Anna to slip through.

They hurried down it, reached the end, and rounded the final corner. And there, a beautiful sight lay before them.

The wagon, Jasper and Jenny hitched and ready.

A man stood with his back to them, his hand stroking Jenny's nose as he murmured something. She would know those broad shoulders anywhere, the way his dark hair curled against his neck.

"Jonah!" Anna's cry pierced the morning air as she dropped Patience's hand and bolted forward.

He spun just in time to catch Anna as she leapt into his arms, a wide grin splitting his face as he swung her up and held her close. "Well now, what are you doing here, little miss?"

Patience followed more slowly, suddenly shy, unsure what to say. She'd already told him no, already walked away from the safety and belonging he offered.

Would he take her back after she'd rejected him? Could he be so simple?

But when his eyes met hers over Anna's head, hope flickered there, along with hesitation. How could he possibly still want her after she'd refused him, over and over? This man loved her far more than she deserved.

He set Anna down gently, though he kept an arm around her shoulders. "Patsy? What are you doing here?" He sounded uncertain, but not angry.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat, daring a step closer. "I was hoping…if the offer still stands, Anna and I want to come back to the ranch with you." The words came out in a rush. She held her breath as she waited for his answer.

His smile softened. "I would love nothing more than to have you and Anna come home with me."

Home . The word settled into Patience's heart like a long-awaited promise finally coming to fruition.

She moved forward, aching to go to him, to step into his embrace. But she hesitated, glancing at Anna still tucked against his side.

Later. They would have time later to talk, to sort through all that had happened between them. For now, it was enough to know they were going back, and she and Jonah would be able to explore this thing growing between them. She had a feeling this man would move heaven and earth for her. All she had to do was let him.

Anna tugged at Jonah's sleeve, breaking the weighted moment between them. "Can I sit up front with you and Aunt Patsy?"

Jonah chuckled, ruffling her hair. "I think that can be arranged. Though maybe we'll stay an extra few days until your aunt's business is finished. For now though, why don't you climb up while your aunt and I get your bags situated?"

"Okay." Anna scrambled up onto the wagon seat.

Patience watched her, her chest swelling with contentment. This was right. This was where they were meant to be.

She turned back to find Jonah studying her, a soft smile playing about his lips. "What changed your mind?"

She drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Anna had another nightmare. But this one was about Naomi and Eric and Mary Ellen. When she called Naomi 'Mama,' I realized I was being selfish, chasing after my own dreams when Anna had already found everything she needed." Did Patience dare say more? She had to say at least a part. "I think I might have found what I need too. A new dream."

A tenderness shone in his eyes that made her breath catch. He took a step closer, his hand coming up to brush a stray curl from her cheek. "That makes me happier than I can say." He regarded her another moment, as though working out something in his mind.

She didn't dare speak yet. He needed to decide on his own whatever he was questioning.

Then he took her hand, lifting it to press a kiss to the backs of her fingers. "Miss Patsy Whitman. I know we'll be travelin' together without a proper chaperone." His eyes twinkled a little. "But when we finally reach home, I'd be honored if you'd allow me to court you proper. Show you I'm the man you've been looking for."

She couldn't fight the grin that overwhelmed her face. "I'd like that. It would be an honor."

A bang sounded from within the mercantile, followed by muffled voices. Jonah glanced over his shoulder, then gave her an apologetic look. "I need to help the fellas load that stove, but I'll be back." He squeezed her hand once more before letting go .

Patience didn't trust herself to speak past the emotions clogging her throat. Now she couldn't wait for the end of the journey. She couldn't wait to leave Fort Benton. Two weeks on the trail, and they'd be back at the ranch where it was safe.