Chapter 4

4

SAWYER

M y night with Jack had been…

Here I was, two hours after Jack had given me a last slow, sensual kiss before returning to his room, and I still didn’t have the words. What had happened between us defied all description. We had chemistry, a connection I’d never experienced with anyone else, one that went so much deeper than mere physical attraction. How was that possible?

We’d exchanged numbers, in itself a violation of my usual hookup rules, but I wasn’t yet ready to let him go. Jack wasn’t sure if he’d have time the rest of the weekend because he was here with his son, but the same was true for me. All Lucas had told me was that he and Romero were getting married in a private ceremony. I’d been elated to be invited. Lucas and I had experienced some rough periods in our relationship—mostly caused by Justin—so I hadn’t asked too many questions.

Romero was a good guy, as far as I could tell. I’d only met him twice, but he’d been polite, smart, and looked at Lucas with little red hearts in his eyes. He loved my son. What more could a father want?

I took another shower, sad to wash off the last remnants of my night with Jack, got dressed, and ate some fresh fruit. I rarely ate much for breakfast, and Lucas had informed me we’d be going out for lunch. Romero’s parents would be there as well, I assumed. Oh wait, hadn’t his mother passed away? Yeah, I was pretty sure he’d been raised by his father. Kudos to the man for doing a great job.

Lucas would be wearing a dark blue suit, so I chose a linen, sand-colored summer suit. I didn’t want to outdo the grooms, who had considerably less money to spend on their outfits than I did. I’d offered to pay, but Lucas had refused, stating they wanted to buy them. Hopefully, I could at least contribute to their honeymoon.

My hair was styled easily enough with a dollop of gel and a spritz of sea salt spray, and after dabbing on Spicebomb, I was ready to go. We were meeting in front of the wedding chapel, but as always, I was a few minutes early, a habit that had annoyed Justin to no end. Jesus, I needed to stop thinking about him. It had been ten years. More than enough time to let go. Was it Lucas getting married that had brought him back to the forefront of my mind?

Then I spotted my son, and all thoughts of my asshole ex-husband were forgotten. He and Romero were dressed in identical blue suits with crisp white shirts and little pink bow ties, looking adorable. They made a handsome pair, and love filled my heart.

Lucas let go of Romero and hugged me. “Dad… Thank you so much for coming.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” I held him a little longer. “You both look amazing.”

Romero seemed uncertain of how to greet me, so I pulled him in for a hug. “Thank you for making my son happy.”

“That’s entirely my pleasure, sir.”

His smile was wide, and for a moment, I was taken aback. He reminded me of someone, but who? “Please call me Sawyer. You’re family now.”

“Thank you, Sawyer.”

“I didn’t invite Justin.” Lucas’s voice was cold, as if calling his other father by his first name hadn’t been enough of an indication of his feelings. “Just so you know.”

“Oh, I’m aware.” I’d received a nasty rant through text, in which Justin accused me of pitting Lucas against him. The thought that his infidelity and the way he’d treated me had been the reason for Lucas’s decision to break off contact apparently hadn’t occurred to him.

“He bitched to you about it?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s your wedding day, so focus on the good stuff, okay?”

“My dad is here.” Romero stepped away.

Lucas gave me another hug, a rare occurrence. “You’re right, Dad.”

“I’m happy for you, kiddo. Romero seems like a great guy.”

“He’s the best, Dad. I love him so much.”

After a last squeeze, I turned to greet Romero’s father. The blood drained from my face. Oh Jesus, no.

Romero beamed. “I’d like you to meet my dad.”

“Jack,” I said hoarsely, praying to whatever god was listening that I wasn’t betraying any of my inner turmoil.

“Sawyer…” Jack looked just as shocked, so he hadn’t known either.

Romero frowned. “Wait, you two know each other?”

This time, the words came easily. “We met playing blackjack yesterday.”

Technically, that wasn’t a lie.

“But we didn’t realize we were your respective fathers,” Jack said, recovering quickly.

Also not a lie.

Our sons chuckled. Thank Jesus and all the saints, they didn’t suspect anything. “That makes things easier, then,” Romero said. “We can skip the awkward introductions.”

He was right about the introductions part, not so much about the awkwardness. This was the most uncomfortable position I’d ever found myself in. How did I tell my son I’d hooked up with his soon-to-be father-in-law?

The officiant approached us, and Lucas and Romero stepped aside to chat with her.

I sidled closer to Jack. “Please tell me you didn’t know.”

“Not a fucking clue.”

“Thank fuck. Now what?”

He was quiet for a few beats. “Now we act like nothing happened.”

Of course. “I agree. Smart choice.”

We didn’t get a chance to say anything else as we were invited into the chapel because the ceremony was about to start. I sat next to Jack as Lucas and Romero exchanged vows, and despite the somewhat tacky decor of the wedding chapel, the moment touched me deeply. Watching my son promise everlasting love and fidelity hit me hard, and a little sniff escaped me. A broad shoulder leaned against mine in quiet comfort, followed by a sturdy knee, and they stayed there for the rest of the brief ceremony.

When the grooms kissed, Jack and I applauded, and I discreetly dabbed the tears from my eyes. God, I wished them all the happiness in the world. I was rooting for them, and Jack was also beaming like a proud father.

I hugged Lucas tightly, my eyes moist again. “I’m so happy for you, kiddo. Wishing you both a happily ever after.”

“Thanks, Dad. You showed me how it should be.”

I leaned back. “I did?”

“Even after everything Justin did, you still refuse to speak badly of him to me. You’ve always tried to shield me from the truth, and while that upset me at the time, I can now see it for what it was. You were trying to protect me.”

I blew out a deep breath. “Despite everything, he’s still your father.”

Lucas shrugged. “That’s debatable. In name maybe, but not in any other way. You’ve always been my dad, even before you got divorced.”

He wasn’t wrong, and I’d always wondered why. Was it because I was Lucas’s biological father? Justin had known that from the get-go and assured me he wanted kids, but had he?

“I’ve always tried to do right by you,” I said softly.

“You have, Dad. I didn’t see it at the time, but you did.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

I hugged Romero next. “Please take good care of him. He has such a big, vulnerable heart.”

Romero nodded. “I promise.”

Knowing he was Jack’s son made me feel more reassured than I would have otherwise. If he took after his dad even a little—and now I also knew who Romero had reminded me of because seeing him next to his dad made the resemblance unmistakable—he would treat Lucas well.

“We have reservations for lunch,” Lucas said. “For the four of us.”

“Lead the way,” I said.

Lucas and Romero walked hand in hand in front of us, sneaking loving glances at each other. My belly went all weak.

“They look good together,” Jack said. “Very much in love.”

“They do. I’m glad my son has better taste in men than me.”

“Wow, was I that bad?”

Jack sounded hurt, and it took me a moment to figure out why. “Jesus, not you. I was talking about my ex-husband, Justin. Lucas’s other father.”

“Oh, okay.”

I put a hand on his arm. “You have nothing to worry about. You were”— Special. Unforgettable. The single best hookup I’d ever had—“great.”

“Thank you. So were you, in case I hadn’t told you yet.”

“Mmm, I think the way you screamed my name after you came for the third time was a pretty good indication you were enjoying it.”

Jack made a strangled sound that made Lucas and Romero turn around, so he quickly covered his mouth and coughed loudly. “Damn smoke.”

The boys set off again, and Jack bumped my shoulder. “You can’t say shit like that. Not in public.”

“You want me to say it in private?”

He stumbled and grabbed my arm. “You want to meet up again?”

“Do you?”

“I don’t know. It’s different now that…” He gestured at Lucas and Romero.

“It’s not like we’re related. Or that we’ll ever see each other again, not with you living in Washington and me in San Diego. Maybe on some special occasions, but that will be it.”

“You’ve given this some thought.”

“I think well on my feet. Comes with the job.”

He stroked his beard. “Once more won’t make a difference, right? I mean, we already had sex.”

“We did. Great sex, I might add. Spectacular sex, in fact. Mind-blowing sex, actually.”

“It would be a shame to miss out on another round.”

“Total shame.”

“And I know where your room is.”

“Plus, you have my number.”

The ball was in his court now. I didn’t know why it mattered that he made the next move, but it did. Was it because, deep down, I was still questioning his newfound attraction to men? Unfair, perhaps, but it was how I felt. Justin’s infidelity had done a number on my self-confidence. I didn’t need a degree in psychology to figure that out.

The boys had arranged a private room in an upscale restaurant for our small group, which must’ve cost them a fortune. It only reinforced my decision to try to get them to accept a donation for their honeymoon. If they were going, that was. They hadn’t mentioned it.

“Are you guys taking some time off together after this?” I asked once we were seated.

Lucas nodded. “We’re going to Zion National Park and will spend a few days there, hiking.”

I whistled. “That’ll be hot as balls in the summer.”

“Exactly the reason we decided to head there and not to the Grand Canyon, which was the original plan. Romero wants to hike the Rim to Rim, but that’s not something we want to attempt in the summer.”

“Rim to Rim?” Jack asked.

“You start at either the North or the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, descend to the bottom of the canyon, and climb back up at the other end. It’s a little over twenty miles, but the elevation gain is between five thousand and sixty-five hundred feet, depending on which way you walk it,” Romero explained.

“Holy shit,” Jack said. “That sounds brutal.”

Romero hummed in agreement. “It is, but even more so in the summer because the temperatures are almost guaranteed above a hundred degrees and can easily rise to a hundred and twenty.”

Jack shuddered. “That’s a hell no from me.”

“He doesn’t get his love for the outdoors from you?” I asked.

Jack and Romero shared a sad look. Shit, had I stirred up something painful?

“My mom was an avid mountaineer,” Romero said softly. “She grew up in Colorado and loved nothing more than climbing the Rockies.”

“I like the outdoors,” Jack said. “But I’m more of a casual hiker than a fan of the multiple-day trips Romero does. So he’s right. He gets that from his mom.” He took a sip of water. “Stacy died in a climbing accident. She was climbing Mount Rainier with a group when another hiker fell, slid down, and slammed into her. The other person survived, but Stacy banged her head on a rock at the wrong angle.”

Without thinking, I covered Jack’s hand with my own. “I’m so sorry, Jack. What a hard loss that must’ve been for both of you.”

“It was, but I’ve always been most sorry for Romero. He was only eight when she passed away, and he has so few memories of his mom. Like today…” His voice broke. “I wish she could’ve been here today.”

My throat grew tight at witnessing his sadness, and I held on to his hand.

He turned to Romero. “Your mom would’ve been so proud of you, buddy.”

Romero’s eyes had also grown misty. “I know, Dad. I imagine her looking down on us and smiling, celebrating with us from wherever she is.”

“I like that thought.” Jack’s voice was still rough.

Only when I caught a curious glance from Lucas did I realize I was still holding Jack’s hand, and I quickly let go. Oops. Did he suspect anything? Maybe he’d chalk it up to me being a touchy-feely guy, which I was. One could only hope. The last thing I wanted was for the boys to discover what had happened between Jack and me.

If only because it would ruin the chance of doing it again tonight.