Chapter 25

25

A bby spent ten days standing at the back door, watching various people show up at the ranch next door and go about the jobs they'd been hired to do. Someone came and finished weather-proofing the deck. Men came and worked on the landscaping around the new barn. She actually had to stand on the back porch to see at that angle.

The younger of Wes Hammond's sons came to mow the lawn. Every morning, Abby walked into the kitchen to find Wade and Francesca there, and she didn't dislike the presence of that dog in her life. In fact, she reached down to pat the animal right now, and Franny started to pant.

"It's too hot to stand with the door open," Wade said as he wheeled himself into the kitchen.

Without replying, Abby fell back far enough to close the door. It did feel instantly cooler in the house, and she couldn't wait for the predicted storm to arrive. When she arrived at the library each morning, she looked west. She did the same thing every evening when she left. The sky had started to darken last night as the storm rolled over the Teton Mountains in the distance, but it hadn't reached Coral Canyon during the night.

"I'll help with the chores this morning," she said, stooping to pick up her boots. "It's supposed to start raining by lunchtime."

"Yeah, I saw," Wade said. He didn't move to pour himself a cup of coffee the way he normally did. He liked routine as much as Abby, and he always started the coffee first thing in the morning. Then he'd go shower and get ready for his day on the farm, come back, pour his coffee, and make something for breakfast.

Sometimes she cooked, if she was feeling particularly like eggs or pancakes or oatmeal. Most of the time—especially since Tex had walked away from her with an apology hanging in the air between them—she ate a banana and a piece of toast while Wade poured himself a big bowl of cereal.

"He's supposed to be back today," Wade said.

"Who?" Abby asked, though she knew darn well who.

"Come on," Wade said, giving her a frowning glare. "Tex. Your boyfriend. The man next door who you're in love with." He didn't phrase any of them as questions.

"We broke up." She shook her head, wishing she could glare back. She couldn't. Everything inside her felt so…broken. "He's not my boyfriend." She couldn't truly refute the last thing he'd said, so she simply closed her mouth.

"Abigail," Wade said, and he rarely used her whole name. "I don't understand why you punish yourself."

Franny moved over to him, and he scratched the dog behind the ears. Smiling at her, he said, "I'm gonna get a dog like you, Franny." He looked up at Abby. "Once Abby moves out, there will be room."

She scoffed, though Wade had just driven a spike into her heart. "That dog is too big for this house." They'd perfected the dance of maneuvering around his wheelchair in the small kitchen. "I just want a banana, and I'll go get started with the horses." She paused as he handed her the yellow fruit. "And you know, another woman is going to be moving in here. It's not like you'll be by yourself."

"I'm aware," he said dryly. "Have you looked at any apartments in town? I heard there's a new townhome development going in only a couple of blocks from the library."

Abby wrinkled her nose, the monster insider her cracking open its eyes. "I would never live in a development like that," she said.

"You lived in something like that in Chicago," he said.

"It's different there," she said, when she really meant she'd been different there. She didn't have the room to spread out and let her spirit fly in the city or the suburbs. She'd lived on the second floor, in a condo-ish townhome. The bottom level had been mostly garages, for three houses that existed on three different levels. Hers had been on the second level, and she could access it from inside the garage or from a front door that someone had to walk around the building and be a super-spy to find.

She didn't want that life. She wanted wide open skies and plenty of space between her and her neighbor. She wanted tall, mature trees, with land and buildings that exceeded her age. She wanted the scent of horses in the air, and fresh sunshine on her face no matter where she stood in her own house.

She peeled her banana and tossed the peel in the garbage can. "I can't look for an apartment yet, Wade. It's far too early. When they list rentals, they're ready now."

"You could move any time," he said with heavy nonchalance in his voice. "I'd be okay here alone."

"I know," she said, and then she walked out of the house. She couldn't stand that conversation. Of course her brother didn't need her anymore. Tex didn't need her. The land next door didn't need her. No one needed her.

"Abby," Wade called after her, and instead of stomping away like a child, she turned back to face him. He came down the ramp their father had built off the back of the porch, his eyes on hers. "I'm sorry. I know you don't want to leave the farm, and…."

"It's fine, Wade." She looked up into the sky, mostly to keep her tears where they belonged. "I'll start looking for something, okay? You don't need to worry about me."

"I worry about you constantly," he said quietly, that big sky she wanted above her house nearly drowning out his words. "I'll talk to Tex if you'd like."

"I would never like you to do that." She gave him a hard look. "I can handle him."

"Abby." He sighed and looked down at his lap. "He's not a horse. He's not a dog. He's in love with you too, and he just wants you to…."

"Say it," Abby said, plenty of challenge in her voice. "Or don't. I know what you're going to say anyway." She turned away from her brother and walked toward the stables. Franny trotted alongside her, and Wade's wheels creaked and made noise on the dirt path behind her. "He doesn't need to be handled," she said. "He doesn't need to be told what to do like he's a naughty little boy."

She sighed, as she'd already realized all of the things she'd done to Tex. She'd held him down and clipped his wings when all he'd wanted to do was soar too. "He doesn't want me to criticize his ideas. He wants me to listen to them and then help him make them better."

"Yes," Wade said quietly.

"He doesn't want me to point out all the things he's not good at, because he already knows those." Heaven knew she did. "He wants me to love him despite those things." Her voice broke, and she couldn't win against the tide of tears this time, no matter how far up into the sky she looked. "He wants me to point out what he does excel at, and he wants me to support him in his trials and challenges."

She sobbed, and Wade pushed himself harder to get in front of her. "Hey," he said. "Come on and sit down."

"I can't," she said, tears pouring like a waterfall down her face. "I'll help you with the horses and then I have to get to work."

"Abby." Her brother looked up at her, pure compassion and concern on his face. "Sit with me for one minute. Just one."

She didn't want to be so alone anymore. She didn't want to even think about moving out of the farmhouse. She didn't want to cry so much either.

She sat on his lap, and Wade put his arms around her. Franny came to their feet and leaned against them, and Abby cried into her brother's shoulder for a few seconds. "I'm sorry," she said. "I know I'm critical, and I have a short fuse, and I swear I've been trying to do better at both."

Wade said nothing as he ran his hand up and down her arm from shoulder to elbow. After a few moments, he said, "When I got released from the hospital and came home, you were the only person I wanted in the house. Remember?" He tilted his head, but she kept hers down, unable to look at him.

"I wouldn't even let Mama or Daddy come in. I didn't want them to see me how I was. But you…you were and are and have always been such a safe place for me."

"Stop it," she whispered.

"You took care of me completely," he said. "I needed all new clothes, and who did it? You, and you hate shopping. I had a thousand pills to take every day, and you made sure I took them at the right time. You checked all of my bandages, and you cleaned up horrible things."

"Wade, you're my brother. The only sibling I have."

"Tex could be your husband," he whispered. "The only one you have. The only man you need. If you can apologize to me and tell me you've been trying, then you can say the same things to him."

She lifted her head then. "It's not that easy."

"Yes," Wade said, his dark eyes earnest and kind. "It is. You call him right now, and you say, ‘I'm so sorry. I miss you so much. I love you, and I'm trying so hard to be your biggest champion. I just need more time to practice. Can't we have more time so I can get better at it?'" He gave her a smile and wiped her face. "Okay? So don't worry about the horses. Go call him right now."

He made it sound so easy, and Abby searched his face, hoping for more amazing words that fit into the right sentences.

"You care about him in a different way than you cared about me," he said. "A more powerful way. A way that's stronger than the bonds between siblings." He nudged her. "Go on and get up. My legs are starting to tingle." He chuckled as she hurried to get to her feet.

They continued toward the stable, this time in the country silence that allowed her mind to think through tough things. She thought about what Wade had said. She thought about Tex and the tether that had always been between them. Even when he'd left, she'd been left holding one-half of that connection.

It had returned easily and quickly when he had, and Abby wondered if she'd severed it too completely to be fixed this time.

After she finished with the horses and left her brother to do the rest of the farm chores that day, she changed out of her work boots and into a pair of sandals. At the library, she weeded through useless emails, attended a boring meeting, and confirmed she'd be in Dog Valley in the Bookmobile for their Harvest Weekend—both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon. She thought about getting a hotel up there—Dog Valley had a couple of places for visitors to stay—only so she wouldn't have to torture herself by either skipping church or going and having an awkward interaction with Tex.

"Maybe you'll be back together by then," she murmured to herself inside her quiet office. The clock read just after noon, and while she didn't have Tex's itinerary, she didn't think he'd be back from Nashville yet. Not with a flight and then the drive from Jackson Hole.

She didn't have to drive the Bookmobile tonight, and Abby suddenly didn't want to return to the farm that had always been the safest place on the planet for her. She picked up her phone when it rang and quickly answered the call from Georgia.

"Hey, girl," Georgia said, plenty of upbeat vibes in her voice. They were set to go to lunch this Saturday, but she still wouldn't reveal the identity of the mystery cowboy who'd kissed her in her office a couple of days ago.

"Hey," Abby said, getting up and turning to look out her window. "What's up?"

"I'm wondering if you have—now hear me out."

"Oh, brother," Abby said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not taking another stray cat. My barns are mice-free, and we've still got the German shepherd."

"This is not about a stray cat."

"Praise the Lord."

Georgia giggled, and that alone alerted Abby to the direness of the situation. "I have a date." She hit the T on the last word pretty hard. "I'm wondering if you'd help me tame my curls after our lunch on Saturday. And can we maybe move that to breakfast? I'm going out for dinner, and I don't want to be too full."

Abby sputtered, not quite sure where to start. Helping Georgia with her hair was an all-day event, as her curls could really get out of hand sometimes. Abby believed them to be the most beautiful things in the world, but they did require some tender loving care—and a lot of relaxation hair products that sometimes had to sit for twenty minutes or more.

"Who are you going out with?" she asked, deciding to get that out of the way first.

"It's not the cowboy who kissed me a couple of days ago," she said.

"Okay," Abby said, a stab of disappointment hitting her between the ribs. "Then who is it?"

"You know him," Georgia said. "James Rylon?"

Abby did know the Rylons. Their family had lived in Coral Canyon for a long time, and they owned a ranch on the south side of town. "Wow," she said. "How old is James?" Older than her and Georgia, she knew that.

"His age is irrelevant right now," Georgia said, her soft, whimsical voice gone. "He asked me out, and I said yes. That's what matters."

"All right," Abby said, sighing. "I'll bring my kit and do my best."

Georgia laughed and thanked her. "Now," she said. "Why did you pick up my call so fast?"

"Oh, I…." Abby turned away from the window and straightened her shoulders. She had been about to call Georgia. "Tex is coming home today, and I'm not ready to face him. I was hoping I could stay in your guest room for a couple of nights. Just until Saturday."

Feeling like a coward, she sank into her desk chair. She'd get a hotel in Dog Valley on Saturday night, and maybe by Sunday evening she'd be ready to see Tex's truck in the driveway next door.

"Hmm," Georgia said. "Only if you'll let me brainstorm ways to get the two of you back together."

Abby sighed the biggest sigh of her life. "Fine."

"I'll talk to the cats," Georgia said. "You'll be taking their bedroom, you know."

"Georgia."

She must've included the right amount of pleading, because Georgia laughed and said, "Yes, come over tonight. I'll be home by six."

"Perfect," Abby said. "I'll bring our favorites from The Magic Noodle." The call ended, and she spun in her chair to look out the window again. She knew she was running and hiding, but right now, she didn't have a better solution.

She needed more time to come up with the right thing to do and say to repair the damage she'd done to Tex, and to their relationship.

After her talk with Wade that morning, she'd tapped the words he'd said into her notes app, and she opened that on her phone and re-read them.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

I'm trying.

I just need more time to practice.

Can't we have more time?

Below that, she started typing out the reasons she wanted Tex in her life.

Makes me smile.

Listens to me.

Challenges me to be a better person.

Holds my hand just right.

Could be my family.

"Family," she whispered, thinking of how Wade had described her as his caregiver. She'd morphed from that as he'd healed, and he had eventually let their parents into the house, of course.

Abby felt so much like him. She didn't want anyone to see her yet. Only Wade knew how bad her wounds were, and she simply needed more time before she could allow Tex to see her.

"Soon," she said to herself, her eyes moving right back to that last word she'd spelled out. Family.

She wanted to belong to one of those so very badly, and she couldn't think of a better one than the big, loud Young family.