Chapter 20

20

A bby's cells stormed inside her body while she waited for Tex to answer her question. He suddenly seemed so intent on driving, and she didn't like that. "Tex," she barked.

"On the ranch," he said. "I'm going to build a recording studio on the ranch."

"No, you're not," she said with a dry laugh. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Why is that ridiculous?" He looked at her with genuine confusion.

"You can't be serious, Tex. Mountain View Road gets maybe four people driving on it per day. Four ." She studied his face, and he sure wasn't smiling or looking at her like he'd gotten her good.

"It's going to be a barn," he said. "No one will even know what it is."

The new foundation he'd poured a couple of days ago suddenly made sense. She hadn't asked him about it, and he hadn't volunteered any information. Now she knew why. "And are all of your fancy music producers going to walk out there in their shiny shoes?"

"There will be a path."

"We don't even have paved driveways, Tex. Are you going to pave the road so all your city-folk can get back to that barn ?"

He glared at her, and she gave it right back to him, her arms clenched around her stomach. "Why do you care? Music studios are sound-proof. I'm not going to ruin your perfect country silence with my music."

"I care, because you're changing everything. I own that ranch too, you know."

"No," he bit out. "No, you don't, Abby."

"Well, the seventy-five grand I paid says otherwise."

"If you'll pick up my phone there, sweetheart, you can find a spreadsheet with all of the things I've done around the ranch this summer. It's over a hundred thousand dollars. So your seventy-five isn't even a third of what that ranch is worth now."

Abby's chest felt like she'd swallowed bleach and she was slowly getting burned from the inside out. "What?"

"That's right," he said, plenty of acid in his tone. "You don't get to decide what I do with the ranch, remember?" He looked at her and the road, back and forth, several times. He sighed, some of the fight leaving him, when she didn't answer.

She also didn't pick up his phone. She didn't need to see the evidence in black and white numbers. She could see it in the front porch that didn't sag anymore. She saw it in the huge back deck he'd added to the house. In the fences that stood tall and straight and proud around mowed fields. In the garden plot he and Bryce had worked to put in last weekend, though they wouldn't plant anything until next spring. In the beautiful, freshly painted house and the stunning, newly painted red barn not far from his back door.

She could see money everywhere she looked when she looked south to his farm—and she'd just thought of it as his.

"Do you want to buy me out?" she asked, her voice sounding small and tinny.

"Yes," he said quietly. "We should probably talk about that too." He continued on to town and to Beef and Leaves, a steakhouse that had a salad bar and hot bar to go with any cut of beef. Abby did like coming here, because she could get a delicious steak and her salad too. They had a delicious corn chowder too, and Fridays meant surf and turf would be on the menu.

She thought about the life she had on Mountain View Road, knowing it was all about to change. Not only with a recording studio, but Wade and Cheryl would get married, and Abby wouldn't even live on that road anymore.

When he opened her door to help her down, she met his eyes. "Tell me the truth. How many people does it take to make a record?"

He gazed back at her evenly, though his dark eyes burned with something hot. "Our producer will come. Maybe his assistant. We have people who check the mics and run the equipment. People who check the quality of the music. Mix it. That kind of stuff."

"So how many?" She got down, only touching his shoulder for a moment.

"Six or seven," he said.

"Where will they all stay?"

"A hotel."

Morris would deal with that, Abby knew. Tex didn't deal with details. He never had. She hated feeling like she was a detail to him and not the main event, but the feelings came anyway. Her chest squeezed against her lungs, removing the air and not allowing her to get anymore.

He might not be building a high-rise condominium, but he was going to pollute their small-town ranching community on the outskirts of Coral Canyon all the same.

"How long will it take to make the album?" she asked as he opened the door to the restaurant for her. The line nearly reached the entrance, but they joined it anyway. They just had to get through this, and their orders would be in and they'd be escorted to a table.

"It depends," he said. "But Bryce is here, and I can't go to Nashville for months. None of the other boys have to be in Nashville, and I talked to our agent today too. Our contract doesn't say we have to be in Nashville to record."

Abby nodded, wishing the spaces between her fingers didn't long for his. His devotion to his son was admirable, but she wished she'd been part of who was here in Coral Canyon preventing Tex from leaving. She was a bad person for wanting to be as important to him as his son, and yet, she couldn't change how she felt.

He'd told her last week that he might be falling in love with her, but the problem with might was that he might not be falling in love with her. When things between them were good, they were really good. He was a funny guy, with loads of personality and every ounce of a hard working spirit Abby liked.

He asked her about her job, her friends, her family, and he listened. He brought her food and stopped by in the morning to help her get her chores done faster so she wouldn't be late for work at the library.

And no one could challenge how handsome he was. Any woman in any of the western states would gladly shove her aside so they could be standing next to Tex Young in this line for a dinner date.

Tears filled her eyes, and Abby just wanted to go home. She couldn't feel Tex looking at her, but his hand slipped into hers and he said, "Let's go."

She didn't argue with him. He took her back outside, where she managed to look away from him and wipe her eyes with her free hand. He put her back in the truck and leaned into the doorway. "I'm sorry, Abs. I didn't think it would be this big of a deal."

"You liar," she said, half laughing and half crying. "You were nervous about telling me, and you know it."

He sighed and shook his head. Without saying anything, he closed her door and went to get behind the wheel. She composed herself, sniffling and wiping all she wanted until he opened his door and vaulted into the truck.

"I was nervous," he said, starting the truck and backing out of the parking spot. "Because I knew you'd react the way you did. I thought you'd come to realize though, that I haven't done anything to that house or land that isn't respectful and amazing. The recording studio in the barn will be no different."

She didn't say anything, because there wasn't anything to say. Perhaps she had overreacted. Some of the anxiety and worry drained from her.

"I was thinking you'd get outside your head and trust me," he said, driving his point home. "There won't be more people than when Bryce and I have my family over. Most of the people coming will be Youngs."

Abby watched the town roll by, her stomach mad at her for ruining the date when it wanted steak and blue cheese dressing. "I know, Tex," she said. He didn't answer, and maybe she hadn't spoken loud enough.

She turned to look at him, and he nodded. "I'm sorry I can't be the man you want, Abby."

"It's not that," she said. "At all."

"Isn't it? Your natural default with me is straight to an argument. You don't stop for even a second and think, ‘hey, I know this guy. He's not going to do anything I won't like.'" He shook his head. "It's fine. I'm just glad we figured it out now before we did something stupid."

He stopped there, thankfully. Abby could fill in his unspoken words— like get married . Or like try to raise a family together . Or any number of other things.

The drive back to her house happened in less time than she knew possible, and Tex didn't walk her across the narrow strip of grass to her driveway and then to her front stoop. He waved to her on his way to the steps that went up to his back door and said, "I'm sorry, Abby. I really am."

Numbness spread through her, and while he hadn't said, "I don't want to see you anymore," the message had been driven home with his apologies.

"Tex," she said, but the wind snatched her voice and whipped it away from his ears. "I'm sorry. Don't go."

He went anyway, and Abby had no choice but to go home alone. Again. Always alone, because her attitude couldn't be contained and hidden for longer than two seconds.

She'd been trying to change. She'd been trying to listen to Tex the way he listened to her. He'd said something wrong—it wasn't that he couldn't be the man she wanted. It was that she wasn't the woman he deserved.

On Sunday evening, Abby stood at her back door, looking through the open screen. She and Wade had eaten lunch hours ago, and her brother had laid down for a nap. He'd woken an hour ago, and Cheryl had arrived, and they currently worked out on the farm. He'd wanted to start teaching her some of the chores they'd be responsible for doing once they got married and Abby didn't live here anymore.

A huge truck had just growled its way into the driveway next door, and four cowboys spilled from it. The band had arrived—Otis, Luke, Trace, and Morris. They laughed and joked as they went up the back steps and into the house, no knocking necessary.

Only a moment later, the gravel crunched again, this time with Mav and his family. A third truck, this one rounded and older so it clearly would be Tex's parents, pulled in behind Mav. Abby shrunk away from the doorway as Dani dropped to the ground, her eyes immediately coming to the door where she'd been standing.

She helped her son down from the back, then called to Mav. He turned and waited for Boston, looked next door too, something on his face Abby couldn't read without looking fully at him, and continued toward the house.

Dani came Abby's way, and she suddenly needed to find something to do. Too bad she'd been cleaning the house for two straight days, except for the few hours she'd spent in the Bookmobile last night.

Tex always had dinner for her at his house after her Dog Valley Bookmobile run, and she'd spent most of the evening weeping as she cleaned out the fridge, folded laundry, and then went to visit the horses who preferred Wade over her.

It seemed everyone preferred someone or something else over her. "You don't make it easy for them," she muttered. She also couldn't think faster than it took for Dani to arrive at the back door.

"Knock, knock," she called cheerfully. "Are you home, Abby?"

"Yes," she said, stepping around the corner where she'd faded into the background.

"Oh." Dani pressed her palm to her heartbeat, obviously startled. "I wasn't expecting you to be right there."

"I'm right here," Abby said, reaching for the door handle on the screen door. "Come in, Dani."

She did, easily embracing Abby. "How are you? Georgia says you haven't texted her back all day, and I said I'd be out your way tonight and I'd check on you."

Blast Georgia , Abby thought, though the bookshop owner was her best friend. Had she confided in her, Georgia would've closed her shop and shown up in less than twenty minutes.

Dani pulled away, and Abby hung her head. "I'll text her back," she said. "I've been…busy today." She'd skipped church that morning, for fear she might not be able to keep her composure if she saw Tex. That, and the pastor had a way of saying things that pushed her over the edge when she already felt like her life was crashing down around her, the pieces huge and life-threatening.

The only place she wanted to be when she felt like that was here at home. Her home. She had no idea how she could possibly leave this farm and this house and try to make another place hers. Only hers.

Always alone , she thought.

"Yes, this place smells like lemons and Clorox," Dani said knowingly. She looked around the kitchen. "Are you coming next door for dinner?"

"No," Abby said, moving over to the refrigerator. "We ate already." Lunch, but Dani didn't need to know Abby hadn't even thought about dinner yet. Surely they had milk to go with her Cocoa Krispies. When she felt down, she always soothed herself with chocolate and cream.

When Dani didn't say anything, Abby forced herself to turn and face her friend. "What's wrong?" she asked, and when faced with such a point-blank question, Abby couldn't lie.

"Tex and I…aren't really together anymore," she said.

"Ah." Dani once again nodded knowingly. "And you're miserable."

"I've been miserable before," Abby said. "I'll survive."

"Abby, honey."

"Please," Abby said, her voice breaking. "I'm better miserable when I'm alone." She tried for a smile, and Dani wrapped her in another hug.

"I'll set up a lunch for this week," she said. "I'm assuming you know the boys will be in Nashville."

"Yes." Abby stepped away and wiped her eyes. She wasn't going to sob all night tonight. "Is Mav going?"

"Yes," Dani said. "Just to help Morris through a few things."

"I think it's probably more for Tex than Morris," Abby said with a small smile.

Dani grinned too. "You really do know him well. Both of them."

"They toured together for a long time," Abby said, shrugging one shoulder. "Tex said Mav managed his whole life, and he was figuring out how to do it himself."

"Well, maybe he's not that good at it yet," Dani said, smoothing back Abby's hair. "Once he figures out he can't live without you, he'll be back."

Abby wanted to tell her that the problem didn't lie with Tex. It was her. It had always been her. Instead, she simply smiled and said good night to Dani. She stood at the door and watched her cross the distance over to the farmhouse next door and go up the steps. She too went inside without knocking, and Abby leaned against the doorjamb, wishing she could do the same.

At the same time, perhaps Tex was right. Perhaps they'd always butted heads a little too much and they always would. He did fire up something inside her, and she always felt so inadequate at his side. She supposed she had to challenge him to make herself feel…not so insignificant.

And she didn't really want a bunch of people rolling up to the house next door to make an album. "But would you like him to leave town again?" she asked herself.

Of course she wouldn't. He'd found a solution—a really intelligent solution—to his problem, and she should've supported him not come at him with question after question.

She sighed and closed the back door, cutting off the sight of Tex's house next door. "Perhaps we were never meant to be," she said to herself, feeling the lie pull through her entire being.

"But if we are," she said as she went into the living room and turned on the TV to distract herself. "Lord, it would be nice to have an inkling of how to get him back."