Chapter 17

17

" T hanks so much for coming. See you guys on Friday," Ellen said as she used a towel to dry her arms and looked at the ladies who were still in the pool.

Agathe knew she needed to get out. Her husband, Jim, would be waiting at home. Whether he was waiting for her or for someone that he knew only in his mind, she wasn't sure. In other words, she didn't know whether he would be having a good day, and remember her, or a bad day, and have no idea who she was, getting upset when she went in the kitchen and started to make him breakfast.

So far, he hadn't gotten violent with her, but a couple of times, he scared her.

His decline had been slow and heartbreaking.

"All right, ladies. I've given you more time than I originally expected and I warned you a couple weeks ago that we were going to take a vote. Today is the day. Are you going to be in the group?" Bernadine spoke with authority from the corner of the pool where she treaded water.

Agathe moved over to the ladder, one hand on it, her feet firmly on the floor. The last thing she needed was to have some kind of accident. Who would take care of her husband if she was laid up? Who would take care of her?

"I wish I could," she said, making her voice sound as American as possible. The French from her childhood was always on the tip of her tongue, although it had been many years since she had stopped dreaming in French and English had become the language of her thoughts and dreams. Rightfully so, since America was her adopted country, although sometimes she longed for her homeland with an ache she couldn't describe. An ache Jim wouldn't understand, as patriotic as he felt about America.

"But I just can't. My husband needs me right now."

She pressed her lips together, while Bernadine looked at her.

"You are a special exception. I understand, your husband comes first. There will always be a spot on our team for you."

Bernadine sometimes forgot that she wasn't speaking to a classroom full of thirteen-year-olds anymore. She'd done it for so long that she had a tendency to treat everyone the way she would a junior-high child.

Agathe just nodded. "Thanks. I really would love to have the time to reach out more and do more for other people." It wasn't that she lived a life only for herself, but just getting out of the house right now felt like a major victory. She could only come early in the morning, since she couldn't chance leaving later and having Jim wander off.

Soon, she figured sooner than she wished, she would no longer be able to skip out of the house at all.

"Agathe?" Bernadine said in her no-nonsense voice.

"Yes?" she asked as she put one foot on the ladder and began to climb out of the pool.

"You'll let us know if you need help, okay?"

"Of course," she said, but she wouldn't. How could she ask her friends to come and see the decline of her husband? He wouldn't want them to, and she… As much as she would love to have help, she felt like it was her responsibility to take care of him. She'd pledged her life to him, left her country for him, bore his children, and helped him bury his parents and two siblings. She couldn't desert him now. It was her job to take care of him.

She held off while listening to Bernadine talk to the other ladies and decide on a name for their group.

It was a neat name, and it made Agathe smile. Smile and wish that she were a part of it, but knowing that she just couldn't.

She didn't want to resent Jim. He'd been good to her through the years, although regardless of whether he'd been good or not, her first duty was to her husband. She wasn't confused about that.

Although sometimes, when he didn't even remember who she was, she wondered how much longer she could continue to do this on her own.

Maybe she would have to try to find someone to help, but healthcare was expensive, and she hardly thought that she could afford it.

Changing her clothes, she put her suit in the plastic bag she brought for that purpose and put it in her bag. Hurrying out to her car, grateful that it wasn't the dead of winter, which made getting around so much harder, she drove the short distance to Sweet Water and her home.

At first, she smiled as she saw that Jim was up and out, standing on the porch. Her happiness turned to dismay as she realized that all he was wearing was his underwear.

She supposed she should be happy that he even had that on, since once she caught him in the backyard completely naked, and when she confronted him, he had no idea how he got there and hadn't even realized that he was naked and outside.

That was just what she needed, a neighbor to report them for indecent exposure. She didn't know if she could explain to the authorities that Jim really didn't know what he was doing sometimes.

Maybe it was time to have him committed to a facility that was meant to take care of that type of patient.

She didn't want to do that though.

"Jim. Darling. Aren't you cold?"

"Who are you?" he asked, squinting at her with his brows drawn. He hadn't thought to put on his glasses before he went out. Maybe he'd forgotten he even wore glasses.

Her heart squeezed. He'd been so dashing when she'd fallen in love with him. So confident, an arrogant US airman on vacation in the south of France. How could she not be flattered and excited when his attention had fallen on her, a little country girl from France? An unassuming girl from the country who had no hopes of ever being noticed by a handsome, older man.

Their courtship had been a whirlwind, although the red tape she had to go through to get a visa and immigrate to the United States had not been a whirlwind. It had been a major headache, but Jim had stood by her through everything, loving her and wanting her. No matter how hard their governments made it for them to be together.

"I'm Agathe, your wife."

"I'm not married." Jim looked down at his hand and saw the wedding ring she'd put there four decades ago. "Who put this on my finger?"

"I did. Forty-three years ago."

Jim looked back up at her, his brows drawn down mulishly, but he didn't argue. It was obvious he had no clue.

"I think maybe we better go inside and get some clothes on you."

"No."

It wasn't nearly as cold out as North Dakota would get, but she needed to think of something to say to get him in.

"You don't want me to go in your house by myself, do you?"

She prayed it worked as he continued to stare at her, not moving.

Finally, he looked around and said, "I told my friends I didn't want them to leave me, and they've gone off and left me with you. I don't know where you came from, but you better not have stolen any of my stuff."

"I wouldn't steal any of your things, darling." She tried to keep the sadness out of her voice, and the hurt. She knew he didn't mean it. He didn't know what he was saying. The Jim that she lived with all of these decades loved her, totally adored her, practically worshiped the ground she walked on. He'd always treated her like she had been a precious jewel that he had found in a foreign country. And she had never had any doubt that his love was true.

She supposed that made it easier to take care of him, but it made it harder to hear things like that. Things he never would have said to her if the terrible disease that was marching through his brain wasn't altering his personality.

"I've been lied to before. I'm going to report this to my superiors," he muttered to himself as he turned around and stood at the door, waiting for her to open it for him.

Her Jim, the Jim she'd been married to for forty years, would never have allowed her to open a door in his presence.

He'd babied her, cherished her, loved her, and taken care of her for years. It was the least she could do to do it for him now.

Lord, please give me strength.