8. Benji

W ell, fuck. Our gods were gone and they couldn’t come back until we destroyed that symbol again. I wasn’t dumb enough to poof myself into a bunch of homicidal angels alone. I was a dumbass, but I wasn’t a dumbass. Still, my shadow wolf was itching to tear some angels apart and Hannibal would be right there. I could say he died in the carnage and blame the angels.

“Do we have a plan?”

“Your favorite. Jump in and fuck shit up,” Cas said.

“That’s actually our favorite, too,” Alecto said.

“Everyone, grab onto someone who can portal,” Pax said.

I wasn’t worried about Pax. His blindness didn’t hinder him in a fight because he could still see auras. He knew who was friend or foe and he was pretty deadly in a fight. Dionysus said despite her gaze being deadly, both Dionysus and Persephone taught Medusa to use her fists. She was already deadly with her green magic before she was cursed.

Medusa was getting pretty good at turning her gaze on and off, so even if she couldn’t hone her fury just yet, she had two unique abilities in her arsenal.

I jumped to the front and poofed myself to the closest shadow. I shifted into my shadow wolf. Fuck. There were some angels missing and the doors leading to solitary were blasted in. I had a feeling fifty angels were child’s play to three fully trained furies and one baby fury, so I poofed myself all the way into solitary.

I wasn’t particularly interested in the men they’d let out of their cells. I wasn’t Jezebel, so I couldn’t just sing them to sleep. I just had to rely on the fact that I was a giant shadow wolf to scare the shit out of them, which was just fine by me.

Did I mention making people poop themselves was one of my favorite things ever? Because it was. It was only like, fifth to fucking, eating and fucking, and eating. Those got double mentions because I really liked them.

The men in solitary decided they didn’t want to fuck with me, which was also fine by me. I was on a mission and if it was any other day, I would have dropped everything to throw down with a bro who liked Nazis enough to get that shit tattooed on him. Maybe I’d have time later?

There were about ten angels ahead of me. I guess they felt the gods and thought with them gone, there was no threat left. Kinda dumb. They were the dumbass kind of dumbasses. Cas would leave one alive for questioning. He was a lot more responsible than I was.

There were two cells left for them to check at the end of the hall and I recognized those nasally pig voices shrieking to speak to the manager of the prison anywhere. Saul was in one and Hannibal was in the other. You couldn’t see in or out of these cells. There was a slot in the door to pass meals and for a guard to check in.

It was a lot like the cell Hannibal kept Medusa in and I loved that for him. I wouldn’t mind keeping him there until I figured out how I wanted to kill him. I was betting he was having some pretty gnarly rebound constipation after getting cut off from that mega laxative I convinced him to drink.

Ugh. There was one of me and two piece of shit prisoners I had to get to before the angels. This was the worst game of ‘kill, fuck, marry’ ever and I hated that game, anyway. And the angels had spotted me. As far as I knew, there weren’t any other hybrids like me out there and if there had been hybrids like me throughout history, they hadn’t figured out how to combine their dual nature like I had. Still, they recognized my demon half.

“Begone, foul demon!” one of them yelled.

Yeah, like that ever worked on any demon ever. Then, those fuckers started glowing like those Glow Worm toys in the eighties, which was frankly cheating and I wanted a manager. You could banish a shifted shadow demon if there were no shadows anywhere.

And now there wasn’t. It was bright as fuck in the hallway and I felt myself getting yanked to the nearest shadow. I was so close. All I had to do was get to Saul and Hannibal before the angels and poof them somewhere they couldn’t find them, and I failed.

I thought we could stop them on their way out, but I guess angels found doors as morally reprehensible as I did putting sugar in grits. My parents would never. They blasted a hole in the wall instead of just walking through the front door and instead of exiting out of the hole they made and giving us the opportunity to kidnap the prisoners they were trying to kidnap, they just blasted through every single roof and flew the fuck off carrying Hannibal and Saul like the hawks tried to do with some of my smaller, degenerate cats.

We lost them. Whatever the angels needed with Hannibal and Saul, we hadn’t stopped it. Sometimes, I could end up anywhere if someone managed to successfully banish me. I didn’t end up where I wanted to be, which was hopefully ending the battle with the other angels and leaving one alive for questioning.

I’m pretty sure I ended up in the laundry room where it was the darkest. These fuckers knew how to banish all the gods and, apparently, me, too. I was pissed.

Hopefully my pack had better luck.