45. Dionysus

W as I losing my touch or was it just that they were really repressed? I mean, I was pretty much a party god. Since when could I not convince anyone to enjoy a party? I didn’t need them to get drunk or go participate in the garden orgy. I just needed them to get that gigantic, thorny stick out of their asses and have fun.

Eh. I couldn’t have done what Medusa did. It wouldn’t have hit the same if I asked Yahweh to dance with me. He probably would have told me no. Medusa always did have that magic touch. I was about to sandwich her between Cas for a little dancing, but they were making their way over to me.

“Want to have our own orgy in Cas’s garden?”

Fuck, yes. The angels were finally cutting loose and mingling with the villagers. Someone should probably supervise in case they got a little too wild their first time, but I was a completely self aware god who knew my limits. Persephone was much scarier than I was. Everyone thought Hades was the badass of the duo, but it was Persephone. Hades let her do whatever she wanted and went totally deranged if anyone tried to stop her fun.

Yeah, the angels should be fine.

We just needed to grab Pax and Benji. Pax had moved on from making sure everyone was settling okay and was playing some kind of drinking game with Benji’s parents. Benji’s mom was a beast. She might even be able to drink me under the table. If I wasn’t going to fuck in the garden, I’d challenge her…for science.

I didn’t know Benji’s parents all that well, but they still gave birth to him. I wasn’t exactly going to say I was stealing him away to fuck because they would be my in-laws and it might make Yule weird, so I just asked him to join us in the garden for a minute. Of course, I think literally everyone knew what happened the last time Medusa was in a garden, so I didn’t have to spell it out.

“If y’all hadn’t been messing with the angels, we could have had the orgy before I got drunk dick,” Benji said.

Well, damn. Benji just decided fuck Yule.

His parents just laughed and his mom was suspiciously barely drunk considering she’d been shooting moonshine and whiskey for the last hour. I had questions. I’d ask them later, though. I grabbed Benji and Pax and portalled them to the garden because I didn’t want to wait long enough to walk. Medusa could get Cas.

The garden was really something. These guys had no way of knowing that their center was going to be a green witch, but this garden was perfect for one. Fate had a funny way of moving pieces around so things worked out after she was done utterly fucking with you.

Being mated to a green witch was unreal. Being in nature was what they needed, but if you made nature particularly beautiful, they got really horny. I had extensive gardens in every single one of my properties just for her.

“Ugh. Is it getting warm?” she said, whipping off her top.

I snapped my fingers and removed her clothes. It wasn’t getting warm. She always thought it was, but it was just nature filling her magic reserves. She always stripped unless we were in a public place.

I’d removed her clothes with magic in an instant. Don’t ask me how Benji got naked so fast. Medusa and Benji together were stunning. A lot of the modern portrayals of Medusa got it wrong and had her utterly monstrous. If they’d stuck to the original lore, she was a stunningly beautiful woman who drew men to look at her face and then turned them to stone.

The part where she lured them was false, but Medusa had always been an exquisite woman, even when her hair was snakes. And then there was Benji. I’d never tell her this because she’d be a miserable cunt about it, but Benji was prettier than Aphrodite’s kid with Adonis.

“You’re our center. How do you want us?” Cas asked.

Yes. Because I might be the god of the group, but Medusa was always going to be in charge. I gave Hades a hard time, but if Medusa wanted to get freaky with her fury powers, I’d beat the shit out of anyone who tried to stop her fun.

“I want a shifter sandwich and I want Pax and Dionysus together. I want to touch everyone first.”

Yeah, we could do that. We hadn’t done enough of this because we were dealing with all the bad stuff. Hopefully, the rest of this shit was getting passed along to the angels and Yahweh so I could focus on my new family.